The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  HOLY SHIT, THE TWINS BEAT THE LYNX IN THE WEEKLY MINNESOTA SPORTS SURVEY!!!  QUICK, STOP THE PRESSES, GET ON TWITTER, SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS -- THE TWINS BEAT THE LYNX IN THE WEEKLY MINNESOTA SPORTS SURVEY!!!

I kid -- sort of.  But I think this is the first time all year that the Twinks beat the Jynx in the WMNSS.  There haven't been too many weeks where the team has finished well above .500, so we should all savor the 5-2 showing they enjoyed.  Guess it helps playing the Chicago White Sox; by winning three-of-four, including both ends of the series-opening doubleheader Friday, it's clear that this year, the Twins will not be residing in the cellar of the American League Central.

This fact is freaking weird: All their runs the past five games and four days, all 22 runs, have come via the home run.  That's got to be some sort of a record, isn't it?  That aberration is even more incredible considering that this, well, is the Twins, a team whose philosophy basically shuns the long ball.  Where is this coming from, and why has this not been in our lives all along?  Writers continue to note that this team is shit with runners in scoring position.  I say, who gives a fuck if you're winning games by hitting dongers?

Two players that should be singled out.  The obvious one is the revelation who will inevitably crash down to earth after getting weighed down by our expectations, Pitcher Andrew Albers.  This guy, essentially a journeyman who has tried to come back ever since having Tommy John surgery a few years ago, was a spot starter Tuesday, and it turns out he was two outs short of a complete game in the only victory the Twinks got in Kansas City, 7-0.  Everybody howled that Manager Ron Gardenhire pulled him so close to a complete game, and I guess he gave us what we wanted by leaving Albers in Monday night in a tighter game and allowing him to go the distance in a confident 3-0 victory over a pretty good Cleveland squad.  To hell with Kyle Gibson, fuck Scott Diamond and screw that May kid!!!  Trade them all, we've got our new ace, Andrew Albers!!!  Yeah, he'll probably go only 2 1/3 next time and allow ten runs.  Just give us this, OK?

The other person is another person no one saw coming, but has built pretty good numbers since the All-Star Break: Brian Dozier.  I had no idea Dozier leads the team in ... OPS (?) since some point in the middle of the season. (?)  Star Tribune blogger Seth Stohs noted that Dozier has made a vast improvement defensively, as well.  Is it possible he's going to stick?  Is it possible that after almost a decade of fruitless searching, this club has finally found a leadoff hitter?

The Twins are in town for the rest of the screening week: After finishing up their series with Cleveland they have another four games against the ChiSox starting on Thursday, then will finally get around to making up that postponed game against the New York Mets from way back on April 14 Monday afternoon.  My friend and are going to try and see that game.  Will be interesting; first time I would be attending a matinee at Target Field.

(ETA: That I neglected to mention Jamey Carroll, Infielder and erstwhile Pitcher, was traded to the Royals this week.  A veteran presence that was supposed to teach the young'uns how to win.  Since they're not exactly winning, it was probably best for Carroll to be moved, and he was moved to K.C., which needed an extra infield body because Miguel Tejada got hurt.  Eh, what can I say?)

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Well, goddamn it, this team is in trouble.  Big trouble.  After seeing that the Jynx lost Sunday to Chicago, I honestly got pissed.  This comes on the heels of Thursday's home loss to Washington, which ended their winning streak at ten and their winning streak at Target Center, stretching back to last year, at 18.  Only a 93-80 home win versus San Antonio Tuesday prevented this from being the team's first winless week.

Both losses have to be disconcerting because they both involve late-game rallies.  With 2:29 remaining in their game against the Mystics they were down 75-67, but managed to rip off eight in a row to tie it with 36.4 seconds left.  Unfortunately, Matee Ajavon was able to drive the lane to lay in the winning points of a 79-75 result.  Ajavon was able to drive the lane in part because Janel McCarville did not play in the game because of a concussion suffered in that win over the Silver Stars.  As a result, the Jynx were outrebounded 44-24.  Washington got 14 offensive rebounds.  Hell of a comeback, by championship teams don't need hellacious comebacks to force a tie late in the game.

It got even worse in Sunday's game in Chicago.  With 2:38 left in the third quarter the squad led the Sky 65-53 and promptly coughed that up.  With about three minutes left in the game they managed to score six straight to go from three down to three up with 12.2 seconds left, but Elena Delle Donne drained a three with 4.5 left to force overtime, where the Jynx were blasted off the court 15-7.  Final: Eastern Conference-leading Chicago 94, Western Conference- (and WNBA-, for now) leading Minnesota 86.  McCarville didn't play this game, either.  Reacting to the rebounding deficit in the loss to the Mystics, Head Coach Cheryl Reeve replaced Amber Harris with second-year player Devereaux Peters.  She collected only four rebounds, but at least the Jynx battled Chicago to a virtual draw (Minnesota won in total boards, 34-32).  But hell, Lindsay Whalen, the Point Guard, got ten of them.  Reeve got so pissed she was T'd up twice and thrown out of the game with 14.1 seconds left in OT.

As much as championship teams don't need to rally from big deficits, they certainly do not choke on big leads.  We have seen this team, this supposed championship squad, get run over two different ways.  I now admit that McCarville is a huge reason for this team's early success.  Maybe their run was too good to be true, and the first losing streak of the season is a good wake-up call.  But if they can't get the paint locked down, what was a promising year and an unstoppable team may not amount to a pound of shit.

Fuck, I'll say it right now: This team will not win the WNBA Championship this year.  Sad.

I wanted to take in Friday's game against Tulsa, but now I'm not so sure I'll be paying a ticket for a loss.  They also host New York Sunday.

#-3: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!).  Somehow the Jynx were saved from being the bottom of the WMNSS by the Woofie Dogs.  It was revealed early in the screening week that their first round pick in the NBA Draft, UCLA one-and-done Shabazz Muhammad, was thrown out of The Association's Rookie Transition Program for sneaking in a chick into his hotel room, ostensibly for some fucking.  Now I'm never against any man who's doing some consensual fucking, but since it was against the rules, he had to leave.

Moreover, I assume that Muhammad knew that it was against the rules to bring in anybody into his room ostensibly to fuck.  So now we can add "rule-breaker" to his list of strikes against, along with "me-first shooter," "immature presence in the locker room" and, potentially, "team cancer."  Man, Flip Saunders really fucked this one up.  He may have burned through all the goodwill he built up coaching this team lo those years ago by picking this dunderhead.