NFL Anti-Picks, Week 2

Record: 1-3
Total Outlay: $200.00
Total Winnings: $95.45
Loss: $104.55

Shit.  Only got the Tennessee cover over Pittsburgh.  And that is why the National Football League is the most popular league in the country: Any Given Sunday. ...

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I need to make this quick.  I was an extra in a movie in St. Paul.  The call time was 7 yesterday evening.  I got out of that place at 9:45 this fucking morning.  And I got paid a measly $75 for it.  There are harder ways to earn a paycheck besides lying around on a hardwood floor of a renovating house and taking cat naps when you can, but I kind of wonder if my original Saturday night plan of eating at the Mall of America Hooters and then hitting My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) would have been more worth it:

1) Chicago -6 (This may just be me being a Vikings pessimist, but everything that got exposed against Detroit last week -- shaky defense, poor offensive line -- will be banged on by the Bears all afternoon.  Plus this is a dome team playing outdoors.  Best Bet this) $100

2) St. Louis-Atlanta Over 47.5 (Two dome teams with shaky Ds.  There is so much leaning to take the Over that I should contradict myself and take the Under, but I'll go out on a limb) $50

3) Tennessee +8 (They're at Houston, the city they deserted.  I defy logic in making this pick, but when has the NFL been logical?) $50

4) New Orleans -3 (Although this also is a dome team playing on the road, news this week has shown that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is a team in complete disarray, topped off with the revelation that Quarterback Josh Freeman was stripped of his captaincy after sleeping late and missing the team photo shoot.  This is a sign this franchise is going south in a hurry.  Best Bet this) $100

5) Jacksonville-Oakland Under 41 (I'm scared that, say, Terrell Pryor will go off on the Jaguars.  But this is a matchup of possibly the two worst teams in the league, early in the season when offenses have not had time to gel.  I kind of think one of them doesn't crack ten points.  Best Bet this) $100

6) Seattle -3 (Good to see that the next best rivalry in the NFL is out in the West Coast, which has been neglected when it comes to pro football love.  In a game between two really good teams that have said they don't like each other, go with the home favorite every time.  Triple Best Bet this) $150

7) Parlay 1) with 3), for $50.

8) Also parlay the O/Us: 2) and 5), also for $50.

Good luck!