List Of What I Ate The Past Three Days That Have Made Me Fat

• I woke up early Saturday morning and had a mocha and a cookie at Caribou ...
• ... then I followed that up with Arby's about 90 minutes later because it was the last day I could use one of its coupons;
• That evening we had a huge fest to celebrate my brother's birthday.  What did we have ... um ... shrimp, fried rice, regular rice, fish, bunch of other stuff, and cake.
• Sunday morning I tried to get out to exercise early, but failed to do so, so I cut it to just an hour.  Drank Gatorade 1 and 2 to get me going.
• I then was deciding on where to go for lunch.  Thought about Wendy's, but decided that I could try their new stuff some other time.  So I went to El Taco Riendo because I've wanted to go there since they moved next door.  Didn't think that I should have saved my stomach because of the Super Bowl feast I was going to partake in at my cousin's place (let alone dinner at home).  Nevertheless I took advantage of its special of an asada taco, a barbacoa enchilada and a tamale.  Really good; so good, in fact, that I tipped more than a buck.  Well, I rounded up.
• Hoped that walking around the Minneapolis Institute of Arts (I went to check on a famous painting the museum has borrowed from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, Vermeer's Woman (in Blue) Reading a Letter [MIA's website omits the "in Blue" part, although a quick search apparently shows every other website keeping those two words in as part of the official title]) and Target (to purchase some creamer for work) would burn enough calories to save my stomach for the 1-2 punch that evening.  Didn't think that Mother would treat me for Super Bowl Sunday with spaghetti.  She knows how to make it, and I don't.  Should learn why.
• Already feeling kind of fat, I nonetheless indulged in my cousin's football feast: chicken wings, sloppy joes, bacon-wrapped, brown sugar-infused cocktail wienies, chips, and to make the food more nutritious, vegetables and dip.  One of my cousin's friends (when I walked in I couldn't help but notice her awesome cleavage, but her husband and child were there, plus she's pregnant) made this sopapilla; I had seconds and thirds of the food my cousin made -- and damn, he can cook, especially those wienies! -- but it was the two pieces of sopapilla that pushed me over the edge.  Oh, and I had two beers too, the second of which made me logy and kind of hungover at work Monday.
• And it didn't stop Monday, either.  I thought I would be safe from the onslaught at work.  But as soon as I came in one of the employees there told me that they had donuts to eat.  Seeing as they were free, I ate two.  They were good, but I knew my stomach ballooned even further, dammit.
• And then Sonic just had to announce that they were slashing the price of their footlongs half-off.  Well, shit, I had to go there to take advantage of that, and to take advantage of their Happy Hour, where all drinks and slushes (I got a small cherry slush -- froze shortly after I got it) are half-off as well.  Is it a good idea to do this food promotion the day after what may be the day Americans consume the most food?  Oh, it wasn't a good idea to get a footlong -- not this day nor ever; the chili spilled over to one side and completely disintegrated the bun, so I had to scrape pieces of it into my mouth.  Made a damn mess all over my right hand.  Won't eat that again.
• Monday nights there's a deal on chicken at the local grocery store.  My parents are back to having me get the box every Monday.  I usually eat three pieces, but because of all the shit I ate this weekend I wanted to limit myself to two.  But Mother gave me pieces of a third, and I had no choice.
• Then I got some Chinese drink to drink.  Don't hate it like I did when I was force-drank it as a kid, but I still don't like it.  And it made me exceptionally lethargic tonight.
• Finally, My Father knocked on my door and pushed a slice of my brother's birthday cake at me.  He wanted that damn thing gone two days after we cut it up for the first time.  I am still so stuffed that I decided to throw it into a plastic container and take it with me to work.  Hopefully I'll remember it in the morning.

I haven't felt this fat in a long time.  Probably am way heavier than 161 pounds.  Geez, I'm so fat that I don't want to do anything.