The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  OK, so I guess I was panicking about the possibility the University of Minnesota women's hockey team would lose the Frozen Four at home this weekend:



I should regale you with my story about how I came to the decision not to scalp a ticket for the title game.  I was still down from my car not working even though I thought it would be; I had a letter Mother wanted me to write for her by Sunday night/Monday morning; and there was a snowstorm coming that I wasn't aware of until late Saturday evening.  I went out to Dinkytown to watch the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament Selection Show at Dinkytown, but I had a birthday coupon for free boneless wings at Hooters at the Mall of America, which means that, if I were to get a ticket, I would be hustling back in traffic to get my butt to the game.  Finally, despite the miracle of getting my hat and gloves back from MOA being a sign that maybe I should try and be happy (it's too hard to explain; it's just how I felt at the time), my overriding thought that Mother needed me to get this letter done for her -- and, more importantly, to please Mother -- convinced me to forego Ridder Arena and instead go to the library to finish the letter, the printing of which I had to do Sunday evening after I ate dinner with my folks.

Well, my instincts were, of course, wrong.  Ever since I dropped off my car Monday it's been running, well, well; she wanted changes to the letter which she told me late Sunday night, so I had to make them after work Monday, thereby bringing me to the conclusion that I could have done the whole goddamn thing Monday night; and, of course, the snowstorm that was supposed to come in the late morning/afternoon held off until the evening (when I was out getting the first letter printed) and produced at most three inches of drivable slush.  Of course, I regret this all only because the team won; that colors all my decisions not to go with a tinge of regret.  Had they lost, I wouldn't be fuming over this at all, and in fact I would be kicking myself for going if I had witnessed an upset loss at home at the hands of Harvard.  Better to err on the side of, uh, not going, I guess.

So I rely on that and the money I would have had to shell out to pay for a ticket.  I did drive by Ridder on the way to the library, and I saw more than a few people selling tickets.  Along with the pockets of empty seats and benches (this wasn't a true sellout, although I'm sure it was packed), I'm sure I could have procured a seat.  But at what price?  I imagine that the scalpers were asking for, oh, $100, $150.  Anything less, and I probably drive to the ATM to get the money (oh, that's another thing: I didn't go because I didn't have enough cash on hand).  But I have to say that if scalpers were successfully selling tickets for three figures, that is a sign that women's hockey is gaining popularity, at least in the Twin Cities.  That, in its rudimentary way, is a sign of progress for women's sports.

Oh, by the way, congratulations to Head Coach Brad Frost and the Golden Gophers for their third NCAA Championship in four years and sixth overall.  And most of all, congratulations for getting a free pass from the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey until the next time your season ends short of another title.  Go for a repeat, ladies!!!  (Not because I don't like you, or I don't want to track you on the survey ... no, yeah, it would help me a bunch if I didn't have to track you on the survey.)

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  Momentum is both a mercurial and an irrelevant thing when it comes to its correlation with postseason success.  But I guess it's better to win going into The Ice Dance than not, especially when you're not exactly sure that you could get in without winning your conference tournament.  The Gophers, which ruled the top of the polls for the first half of the men's college hockey season, completed the double, taking the Big Ten Hockey Tournament before a packed crowd at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit (it really wasn't, but I couldn't find the Twitpic of the empty house) by ripping Ohio St. and then Michigan last weekend.  Putting a lie to all those doomsayers who thought that formation of the B1G would lead to the demise of lower-level hockey programs, the Gophers are the only representative from the conference in this year's 16-team tourney.  Weird to see the Big Ten as a one-bid conference.

From then on it got a little surprising.  Both USCHO and College Hockey News predicted Minnesota, which finished tenth in the PairWise, would be shipped to the Midwest Regional in South Bend, Ind., and face Nebraska-Omaha in the first round.  Instead, the NCAA Tournament Committee took them all the way to the Northeast Regional in Manchester, N.H., and they will face off with dreaded former rival Minnesota-Duluth, in the postseason for the first time in three years.  The skirmishes between the two obviously have died down since The Great Realignment two years ago, yet they have already faced each other, get this, four times this season.  And what's even more bizarre, each game has been played in a different arena: South Bend, Mariucci, the DECC in Duluth, and the Xcel Energy Center.  What augurs poorly for the Gophers: They have only beaten the Bulldogs the first time, which also happens to be the first game of the year.  What augurs well for the Gophers: UMD got swept out of the NCHC tournament two weeks ago, and they're kind of banged up.

Puck drops late tomorrow (Friday) afternoon.  Winner plays Saturday against either Yale or the top seed in that four-team regional/pod, Boston University, featuring wunderkind Jack Eichel, presumably the #2 pick in this year's National Hockey League Draft.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -3).  They stumbled against Washington, and they are still fourth in the Central Division.  But they are several points clear of ninth, which means that the miracle run they needed to get into the playoff picture is about to pay off.  God Bless you, Devyn Dubnyk.

Also, the Wild came back from the defeat to the Capitals by doubling up playoff-bound St. Louis, then going on the road to beat Toronto and the Islanders in a Shootout (in the last game they'll ever play at Nassau Coliseum).  Those two wins means that the team has won an astounding ten games in a row on the road, by far a franchise record.  It's kind of like the Gopher men's hockey team in reverse: They may have too much momentum, which means that a "correction" might come soon, and it might be nasty.

Till then they have the regular season to finish off.  It will be incredibly difficult; every team remaining on the schedule is either in playoff position or fighting for it.  The good thing (well, actually the bad thing, seeing as they've won ten in a row away from the X) is that they start their final regular-season homestand this week.  It's five games long, and the first two are against Calgary and Los Angeles.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  I feel bad slotting this squad fourth-best.  But it came down to a matter of the point of their seasons.  Obviously the U. women hockey team will be first.  I have to give dap to the men's team because they've made it to the postseason, and then the Wild are about to enter it.  The softball program has just started conference play, and with the winter season winding down, I'm sure it'll have plenty of opportunities to top the WMNSS.

And they will if they continue on their winning streak.  They began the B1G by sweeping Illinois on the road.  While the capper was a tight 3-2 contest, the first two were mercy-ruled after five.  So, yes, it looks like this team, and maybe even this program, are loaded.  I definitely have to go one of their games against Michigan at Cowles Stadium next week; now it's #12 vs. #4!

One final series before this epic clash of conference titans: They are at Nebraska for three.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  Weird screening week; they alternated road and home games and won the roadies but not the homies.  The victory at an improving Utah club was impressive, but the way they lost to the Lakers at home last (Wednesday) night, where a disputed foul was called late in Overtime, hurts.  Who else is hurting?  Virtually the entire Woofie Dogs squad.  I read that they beat The Bastard New Orleans Jazz even though they had only seven healthy players.  Sean fucking Kilpatrick is playing for the team; he was signed before their win at New York (only because of proximity) ... and he scored 13 in beating Utah.

Whatever; they're still worst in the Western Conference and second-worst overall (behind the Knicks), so things are still on-track for them to get screwed by the lottery gods.  Meanwhile they play at Houston and New Orleans before returning to Target Center to play said Jazz and Toronto.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  These guys are the opposite of the softball team.  They were swept to begin conference play at Maryland (although there were no mercy rule games).  I should expound on this thought when there are fewer teams in the WMNSS, but let me say this: Women's teams are a way for sports fans to absolve themselves of the mistakes they see in big-time sports right now.  Oh, and they cancelled their mid-week game against Augsburg because Siebert Field is in shitty condition right now.

Hey, their first regular-season series is this weekend, versus Northwestern!  Hope the stadium's ready!

#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -6).  Wow, now this godforsaken team is in a real freefall.  The club's second straight defeat by a score of 12-8, Saturday at Buffalo, has lengthened its losing streak to six games and put them tied at the bottom of the National Lacrosse League with Calgary at 3-8.  Fuck.  They visit New England for a tilt Sunday afternoon.

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher women's basketball and Gopher wrestling (Last Week, respectively: -8 and Re-Entry!).  There are two commonalities between these two programs that, on the surface, cannot be more diametrically opposed to each other.  I could be an asshole and say that both of them feature players that are manly, but I say that out of anger that their seasons wound up such disappointments.

After getting my temper under control, I will now say that the similarity between them is not as assholic but just as infuriating: Their inability to hold onto a good thing as time wound down.  For the women's basketball team, they had a 41-30 lead on DePaul but choked away the lead before being eliminated in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, 79-72.  This was not the first time they blew a lead; in fact, it became a common occurrence as the season wore on.  Despite Amanda Zahui B.'s all-season heroics -- she hauled in 22 rebounds -- it became that the club missed Point Guard Rachel Banham's ball-handling and ability to penetrate and stretch opposing defenses.  It's way too early to tell if this is portends bad things for Head Coach Marlene Stollings's tenure here.  But until we have a second season to evaluate, I guess we should just be happy that they have rebounded to at least make their first appearance in The Big Dance since 2009, and hope that a Banham-Zahui-Carlie Wagner triumverate could stick around in the tourney for more than a cup of coffee.

The wrestling team's collapse -- and it was a collapse -- is much more troubling.  The team wound up in 8th place in the NCAA Championships held in St. Louis last weekend.  None of the rasslers for the Gophers were able to finish over their seed.  Worst of all, the best and probably only prospect for an individual title, #1 Chris Dardanes at 133 pounds, was upset, big time, in the semifinals by Cody Brewer of Oklahoma.  I don't know which is worse: that it was an ass-kicking by a score of 15-3, or that Brewer was ranked only 13th in the country.  How in the fuck does the top seed in his weight class get his testicles stomped on by a guy twelve places below him?!

In all, no one on the team won an individual title.  And considering that the University of Minnesota was ranked first for much of the season, before that high-profile loss to Iowa in a match that was moved from the Sports Pavilion to Williams Arena, this putrid finish should raise a lot of eyebrows and coax some serious, somber questions for Head Coach J Robinson.

What's even worse: The team that won it all is Ohio St.  Ohio goddamn St.  No one was talking about the Buckeyes winning this tournament before the season began.  It was Minnesota or Iowa, maybe defending champ Penn St. or even Oklahoma St.  But it appears as though Ohio St. was able to win what turned out to be a free-for-all as a result of a relative down year for not only the sports's marquee programs but also the sport as a whole.  So how in the shit can't Robinson and his crew take advantage of such a mess and win the team title going away?

And now the window has probably closed.  The Nittany Lions are going to regroup.  The Hawkeyes and Cowboys are just going to reload.  But how about the Golden Goofers?  What the fuck are they gonna do -- start off as preseason #1 again?  Oh, look how much good that did them this year.  What a fucking waste. ...