They just completed their Best Screening Week In A Long Time. They squeaked past Western Conference contender Oklahoma City 99-96, just got nipped by Phoenix (yeah, they suck, that's true) 107-104, then held on the beat Memphis 114-108. The most impressive fact about this trio of games: They were all on the road.
Is there an explanation? Well, as the Strib's Michael Rand pointed out (I think in Thursday's paper), they have become an excellent offensive team in the second half of the season. That coincided with a move a lot of people thought was a long time in coming -- stop making Zach LaVine a Point Guard and move him to Shooting Guard exclusively. Since then he has been a dynamo on the offensive glass and the team has become very efficient when they have the ball. This is a problem solved, and that has resulted in wins at some very tough teams.
The road trip isn't quite over; Target Center is occupied this weekend for the National Collegiate Hockey Conference Frozen Faceoff (today's session of which I plan on going to after work), so they have one more roadie to play against Houston Friday. They then host The Defending NBA Champion Golden State Warriors Monday and Not The Defending NBA Champion Sacramento Kings Wednesday.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -1). I may have missed this, although I am open to the possibility that the team just threw in a couple extra midweek games, but after their appearance in the Florida Atlantic Tournament (where they went 3-2, dropping games against powerhouses Robert Morris and Mercer), they stopped over at Oklahoma to play single games at Tulsa Tuesday and at Oklahoma Wednesday. It was a split, although possibly a net positive for the Golden Gophers: They lost to the Golden Hurricane 6-4 but beat the Sooners -- excuse me, the 13th-ranked Sooners -- 12-10 in eight innings. The lead changed hands eight times during the course of the contest. They should be one of those "good wins" the NCAA Committee looks for come tournament time.
Oh, I should add that Sara Groenewegen threw her first-ever Perfect Game in a 1-0 win over the host Owls Saturday evening. Those single, dirty old men looking for another youthful female figure to lust over at Dinkytown and worried now that Rachel Banham is about to shuffle off-campus, well, you've got "Groan."
This week brings the final tournament of the 2016 season, the Rock Chalk Challenge from, you guessed it, Lawrence, Kan. They play the host Jayhawks (as well as Missouri-Kansas City and Tulsa ... wait, didn't the team just lose to Tulsa on Tuesday??), but play Saint Louis this (Friday) and Saturday morning.
#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3). This team ... I don't know what to do with them. They needed one win, one single goddamn win, to sew up the Big Ten regular season title. And they were doing it against Wisconsin, the worst team in the league. But then they lost the Friday game 4-3 before finally claiming the crown Saturday with a decisive 4-1 victory.
And yet, it still doesn't matter. Not like the PairWise was magically going to tilt in the U.'s favor, but they remain on the outside looking in in the NCAA's carefully crafted metric to objectively decide which teams receive at-large bids. So it remains title-or-bust for the Goofers (led by this week's Second Star Of The Week Leon Bristedt and conference Goaltender Of The Year and First Team All-Big Ten Eric Schierhorn), who at least get to play across the river from their home rink at the Xcel Energy Center. They face Ohio St. tonight (Friday night), and if they win that, it's either Michigan or Penn St. for the bid-claiming title Saturday evening. Heads-up: I probably will be going to the championship game.
#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2). This club was virtually in the city of Seattle the whole week. They played a game on Friday and Saturday against Seattle U., had to push back their Sunday game until Monday due to weather, then stuck around another day before playing a scheduled game against Seattle U. on Wednesday. Losing all but the getaway game, then, didn't alleviate the boredom and the changed plans. Maybe they can turn their fortunes around this weekend playing three vs. Utah Valley? Hopefully all three games go off as scheduled.
#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -6). OK, the NCAA Championships began yesterday (Thursday) at arguably The Most Famous Sports Arena On Planet Earth, Madison Square Garden in New York City. And, let's see, where are the Golden Gophers ranked after the first of three days ... OK, not at the top ... OK, have to flip to the next page ... ah, there they are -- 30th! Thirtieth, everybody!!!
(wanking motion)
I have to talk about this team and this abortion of a season next week.
#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!). This squad isn't here because of their performance in the WNIT. They got past Wisconsin-Milwaukee Wednesday, but I'm not going to put the team on here because of that tournament.
No, I'm writing about them because of what I noticed in the two local papers earlier this week. Both the Star Tribune and Pioneer Press released their high school girls' All-Metro (or in the PiPress' case, the All-East Metro) teams. Look at the blurbs for the players here and here. Look at where those players are headed for college -- North Carolina, Michigan St., Arizona St., Kansas St., Northwestern, St. John's, George Mason, Minnesota-Duluth, Northern Colorado. Now, what university do you not see there?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. What the fuck is Marlene Stollings doing not putting a fence around the state. The best of the best in this fair state seemingly can't wait to put enough fucking distance between them and Dinkytown.
Embarrassing. In fact, of the four Minnesota-born players in the HoopGurlz Recruiting Top 100, none of them are staying in-state. Why is that? Is there something we're not privy to? Well, we're not privy to really good homegrown talent playing for the maroon-and-gold, that's for fucking sure.
#-7: Wild (Last Week: -5). OK, this may be -- no, this is the week where I and everybody who were fans of the Mild threw their hands up and say, "Fuck this team!" First, on Tuesday, they were eight seconds -- eight goddamn seconds!!! -- from winning at Ottawa before they let in the game-tying goal. Then, late in Overtime, they let in the game-winner. Fuck me. They gave Mild fans the other side of The Excruciating Loss Spectrum last (Thursday) night when they got shellacked in New Jersey, 7-4. So it doesn't really fucking matter that they had a convincing 4-1 victory vs. Montreal that started out this weeklong road trip. They still remain behind Colorado for the eighth and final spot in the Western Conference Playoff race, and they have continually given up games against shitty opponents, not to mention leads, as they continue to remain behind.
There's no denying it now: This team isn't any good. With the exception of Charlie Coyle, every player has either tapped their peak last season or beginning to show the signs of aging. The decline of what was supposed to be a promising organization is infuriating.
This week, they have a home-road back-to-back this weekend, namely home to Carolina and then at Chicago. They then come back to the X for tilts against Los Angeles and Calgary.
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