My day project probably will wrap up in the next two weeks. Despite massive delays to start, they still say we're wrapping up general scoring this week. I worked this weekend, we can work 11-hour days this week, and there's a chance that we can work past 11 hours this week as well as work next weekend. I don't see the rush, but if they say there's a deadline, well, there's a deadline.
Also, today is the last day of my night project. We can start at 5, but we have to be there at 5:30. Yet that is all moot, because from my estimation there is, at most, an hour's worth of work to do. We could be done by a quarter to 6, honestly. I still might come in at 5:30, because there is no way we are working past tonight (which, in an aside, was our scheduled drop-dead date, which shocks the hell out of me, because I thought we would be done by last week), and so I might as well get as many hours today at the day test scoring place to get me that much closer past 40 hours and into overtime.
Anyway, what I'm saying is is that barring any other projects (and the season is, unfortunately, winding down), in two week test scoring is over and I am -- gulp -- back to looking for a job. It's the same situation I dealt with last year, having about three months where I had nothing to do. And yet it feels so unfamiliar, and thus very scary, to do. I'll have to go back to my ruse of getting up in the morning to a job that is non-existent, and instead cobbling together time at the coffeeshop, library and gym to make it through the day (although working out sounds very appealing now since I haven't done it in months).
In September the health insurance company will ramp up help for open enrollment, and for the third season I'll be back there. Maybe. That was the place I applied for a job a couple months ago and got rejected. And since this is in the same floor I worked at, I would not put it past the people who do the hiring to not hire me again this time around. It would be extremely awkward to go around my day and see the woman who deemed me unfit for this job. If two years of working diligently for her isn't enough commitment, why the hell should I care about impressing her now? And maybe those people feel the same way, and therefore won't hire me back. Won't say that's a complete impossibility.
I have e-mailed a couple of my temp agencies about my current plight; beyond going to the dentist and finding the time to do an experiment at the U., and then taking a week off in August to catch the solar eclipse, I am free right now. And if there is a job that is longer-term, say 18 months (or, better yet, permanent), I'll take it in a heartbeat. But if not, I'm out in the cold. Let's just say that I'm not holding my breath.
When I learned that I didn't get the health insurance job, my future came into starker focus. I kind of realized that being a temp for two decades, keeping my options open and hoping that the perfect job for me would fall right in my lap, wasn't seen as such a positive in other people's eyes. It may be a detriment, even a handicap. And so I am fast coming to the conclusion that I am chronically unemployable. Maybe I have dedicated my whole life to temporary assignments that have no benefits that people only see me now as a person who works temporary assignments that have no benefits. Maybe, by keeping my options open, I in fact have closed them all.
Maybe it is time to go back to school. Where have I heard that before? But by God, I'm 41 years old. If people don't think they should hire a guy that old for a full-time job, what difference does it make for a guy my age to go back to school?
No ... maybe I'll just do what I've always done: Lie to my parents, spend the day aimlessly but happily, go home and be grateful I have my parents and this house for another day, and sleep. And wait for the health insurance company to hire me anyway, or not, and I might try to find a new job, or not.
It is what it is, and I ain't what I ain't.
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