#-Infinity: Lynx, Twins and United FC (Last Week, respectively: -1, -2, and Re-Entry!).
Oh, wow. Holy fucking wow. Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow. Woooooooooooooooooooooow.
I may be overreacting to this. In fact I know I am. And I will totally admit that this is largely a gimmick so I can go back to sleep ASAP because, once again, I have to work through the weekend. (I fell asleep overnight, so this and this other huge task I need to do will have to wait until tonight.)
But I just woke up to see that on Saturday all three professional squads that play this time of year, all of whom played games on Saturday, lost. All of them. All fucking three of them. This is the first time in the survey's history that so many Twin Cities teams lost on the same day in the summer. It has happened in the winter, the local sports scene's busiest period. In fact, many local teams have all lost on the same day in, say, January. You may have heard me bitch about it; I make a point of bitching about it. But the Twins, United and Lynx doing it at once? That's an unprecedented level of coordination I was afraid these teams had in them.
I'll start with the team I guess I should end with, because this is somewhat unplanned and I don't want to stain my existence by thinking about this fucking day any longer. The Jynx suffered the first loss of their season to lowly Connecticut. What's more humiliating is that somehow this shit happened at home (well, the X -- Target Center is closed for renovations). The main problem with this 98-93 upset defeat may be something the media alluded to in the Jynx's WNBA Finals loss to the Los Angeles Sparks last year: Center play. I saw tweets consistently pointing out that that Sylvia Fowles, the last piece to their title year in 2015, was outplayed in the post. Was that the only reason? I don't know; I haven't followed the WNBA that closely this year. But for all my harping over the aging Point Guard position (and aging on this team in general), it's particularly galling for the "latest" acquisition to be the Achilles' heel.
Oh, just noticed this: This loss Saturday was Pride Night. So you showed the gays how to lose for the first time all year? How ironic. More like Shame Night, amirite? #veal
These motherfuckers were undefeated and lost at home???
Now to the Twinks, who somehow are still leading the AL Central Division. Or was heading into this weekend, where they not only lost Saturday to the squad chasing them in the division, Cleveland, but lost twice, a day-night doubleheader. To be charitable, it appears as if the Twinks cheated on the day's matchups by trotting out a pair of newbies to the mound. In fact, after the first game, Adam Wilk, the call-up Pitcher who got shaken down on the Twinks' way to getting triples, 9-3, was Designated For Assignment. Wow, what a punishment for sucking.
With Saturday night's 6-2 loss and Friday's 8-1 loss, the Twinks certainly are now behind Cleveland for the division lead. Not to say that the team's dalliance with the top of the standings was going to last. But it was still surprising, in fact gob-smacking, to see them leading into the summer. That means that there is some talent there, and therefore they have some sort of responsibility to keeping up the good play. However, it seems readily apparent that they simply are outmatched against superior teams, such as Cleveland and, earlier this season, Houston. (Oh yeah: They failed to sweep the Giants in San Francisco, and mid-week the split four with Seattle; they went a ghastly 2-6 this screening week.) Guess it was good while it lasted.
Meanwhile, back on Monday the organization picked first in the Major League Baseball Draft for the first time since 2001 (?), when they picked Joe Mauer. There were three prime candidates that many predicted would go first. As a beleaguered Twin Cities sports fan could guess, the Twinks selected none of those three. Instead, they reached; they selected an Infielder named Royce Lewis out of high school in California. The last Shortstop picked that high? Derek Jeter. And anonymously one scout said that Lewis could be the next Jeter. Uh, I'm going to think pessimistically and say that the Twinks should have went with conventional wisdom and took either heat-throwing Cali Pitcher Hunter Greene, Vanderbilt ace Kyle Wright, or Louisville First Baseman Brendan McKay. But that's just me.
Finally, Untied (ooh, I just made up that mean nickname right now!) fell at Real Salt Lake with a Goal in the 84th minute. Which ... well, this is an expansion club, so I'm not too bent out of shape over this loss. But it triply sucks since EVERY OTHER GODDAMN TEAM IN THE TWIN CITIES LOST ON SATURDAY JESUS WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!
OK, what's coming up for these guys ... Jynx play host to Washington Friday ... Twinks try to salvage some dignity playing Cleveland this afternoon, then host the White Sox for three, then visit Cleveland over the weekend ... Untied play two league games for the first time in one week in squad history, hosting Portland Wednesday and Vancouver Saturday.
God, being a sports fan in this town fucking sucks.
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