I just jerked off to some porn. It felt guuuuuuud. But I feel guilty for doing. Well, I always feel guilty after masturbating. But I think in the back of my mind I'm doing it to avoid thinking about Grandmother ... dying ... you know, I still can't believe it. But on the other hand I knew it was coming, because she's been in declining health (at least mentally) for a long while and she was getting old. And yet, from what I heard she was in the hospital for only a week. She was getting better, and then suddenly she took a turn for the worst and then ... she was gone.
I don't know if I'm dealing with it correctly, if that makes any sense. I just rubbed one out two or three days after Grandmother died. Does that make any goddamn sense?
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