Monday, October 28, 2019

OK, So I Got A Little Aggro Just Now

Fed up over getting fat, then dealing with an anxious Mother asking questions about her fucking frequent flier miles, has gotten to me, and I've transferred my again just now onto the highway, which is a very bad place to which I should transfer my anger.

You know, when you are taking a left at an intersection, that you are supposed to turn onto the lane closest to the side of the intersection from which you came?  In other words, if you are turning onto a two-lane highway, you turn onto the lane closer to where you were, and not the other one?  Well, you must also know that no one follows that rule all the time.  I certainly don't.

Well, I wanted to get around the car in front of me, so once the light turned green, I turned such that I went onto the "farther" lane.  Unfortunately, there was a car coming from the other side of the intersection, and it wanted to take a right -- immediately, as I was taking my left onto that same lane.  I saw him turning as I was onto the same area and I honked my horn for a good five seconds.  Are you blind, you idiot?  Why the hell are you turning the same time I was turning?  You don't think I wouldn't be taking that lane, asshole?

And ... in retrospect, after the creeping fear that the person in the other car has a gun subsided, maybe I overreacted a bit.  When I was honking my horn I felt I was about to get hurt, but I was also staking my territory as a toxic male.  This reminds me of a weeklong period about two months ago (something I wanted to talk about on Wailing And Failing but I didn't want to take the time to sit down and write about it) where I was picking fights with any car and anyone.

It culminated at, of all places, the Culver's across from Allianz Field.  After a win (?) from Minnesota United, I queued up to get a custard.  Or so I thought; there was a couple, really a boy and a girl, sitting right where I lined up, and the girl tugged on my shirt and whispered, "We were in line."  Jesus fuck, if you line up, you actually stand up, get it?  But I didn't want to argue.  Instead, I did the Minnesotan thing: I did what the girl asked, lined up behind them (while they were still sitting down), and, as more people were lining up, seeing us, and asked, "Are you guys in line?" I answered, "Yes, we are.  Well, these guys are sitting down, but they're still in line, so what do I know?"  The second time I did that, the boy finally grew some balls and spoke, and at a level where strangers could actually hear: "You got a problem?"  To which I replied, "No, not right now."  And those two got up because the line started to move.

Yeah, maybe I should stop letting my toxic masculinity lead the way in public.  Or, maybe I should start sticking up for myself even more.

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