Tuesday, October 22, 2019

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  By no means have the Vikings faced down the best of the NFL.  But I have to give some measure of praise to this club.  In a tricky visit to Detroit, they were able to score, sometimes at will, and power their way to a 42-30 victory over the Lions.  They have won three in a row.  And that winning streak coincides with vastly improved play on the offensive side of the ball, as evidenced by Kirk Cousins suddenly becoming an all-world player.  Cousins became the first Quarterback in league history to throw for at least 300 Yards and generate a Passer Rating of at least 135 in three straight Games.  I don't totally get the significance of that statistic, but there you go.

Right now, in fact, it looks like the defense is the weak point of this ballclub.  Marvin Jones caught four Touchdown passes in Sunday afternoon's matchup.  The hallmark of this team is flailing, but if there is an upside, it's that, at least for one tilt, the Vikings have shown that they can win in a shootout and not just in a grinder.  Versatility is the key to winning, especially in the playoffs.

This is a dreaded short week.  They play Thursday night against Washington.  It would be a trap Game, but I don't think so in this case because 1) it's at home and 2) it's against Washington.  Can the Vikes really overlook this sorry club?

#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  I put the college gridioners second only because of the caliber of opponent Fleck & Co. dominated.  It is the 150th anniversary of the first college Game, pitting Princeton and Rutgers, and if the 42-7 beatdown the U. delivered to the Scarlet Knights in Piscataway, N.J., is any indication, those guys played as if they also just invented the game of football.

Nevertheless, these Gophers are now ranked 17th in the country, and are 7-0 for the first time since 1960 -- a year, by the way, where they won the NCAA championship.  And that record should -- should -- go to 8-0 Saturday afternoon when they face Maryland at Das Bank v.1.0.  That is the last cupcake before the gauntlet that ends the season.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Swept St. Cloud St. at Ridder over the weekend by a combined 7-2.  Yeah, but are these women going to win the national title?  At Ohio St. this weekend.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  Swept Northwestern, then defeated Illinois in four Sets in back-to-back nights.  Yeah, but are these women gonna shit the bed again come tournament time?  At the Michigan schools this weekend.

By the way, my condolences go out to the family, friends, fans and the volleyball community.  Dr. Mike Hebert, former coach of the Gopher volleyball program, died Monday due to complications from a myriad of health issues, including the Parkinson's that hastened his retirement from the Gophers in 2010.  But in his 14 years at the U., he turned Minnesota into a powerhouse, a school whose fans now demand championships.  He got close, taking Minnesota to five Final Fours and the national title game in 2004 (the school's first), where they lost to Stanford.  While Hebert didn't win it all, he lit the way for others to finish the job he started.  For that, I honor him.  RIP, Dr. Hebert.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Holy shit!  Forgot this team starting playing last week.  But after going to Friday's home opener versus Niagara and peeping all those empty seats, well, me forgetting actually makes a whole lot of sense.

And they didn't help their cause for relevance last week when the squad dropped the season opener at Colorado College, 3-2, back on the 11th.  Sure, they've won three straight since (obviously including sweeping the Purple Eagles -- what the hell is a Purple Eagle -- this past weekend), but I saw this team with my own eyes Friday, and by God, they suuuuuuuck.  No connection whatsoever, they were slow at times, and they made so many stupid decisions leading to turnovers in their own zone.  In fact, just on talent alone, Niagara looked like the better team.  That should frighten #PrideOnIce fans.

This is the second year of Bob Motzko's tenure.  The mulligan was last year.  Now, I need to see some fucking progress.  And while they could have gotten off to worse starts, I wouldn't mind seeing some bleepin' competence right about now.  (Thank God for Sammy Walker; he was the one who skated through the Purple Eagle offensive zone and score the Game-ending Goal Friday.  Did you know he's a captain ... as a sophomore?)  Unfortunately the competition ramps up; this weekend they have a home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth.  The Bulldogs are off to a rocky start, but they still are two-time defending champs.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -4).  The only action this team had this past screening week was a home-and-home with Montreal.  They got blasted in Canada, 4-0, but came back to win the return Game at the X, 4-3.  Does that end talk that this club, and organization, should be in rebuilding mode?  Fuck no!  They kind of have a reckoning of a week, starting tonight/Tuesday night at home vs. Edmonton.  They then go to Nashville Thursday, then hopscotch back home to host Los Angeles Saturday.  This squad easily could go 0-3 this week.  And if it does, well, the writing on the future of the Mild might be on the wall.

#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  Don't know if I've mentioned it yet, but last season, the University of Minnesota was the only BcS school to have all of its varsity teams finish their seasons above (or was it at least not below?) .500.  Well, that ain't extending to this year.  The women's XI tied Nebraska Thursday at 1 and lost 2-1 to Iowa Sunday to finish out their year at Robbie Stadium.  They now sit 1-2-6 in the Big Ten and 2-4-11 overall -- ugh, ghastly.  And that screening week eliminates the Golden Goofers from even a chance at getting into the conference tournament.

They finish up their regular year this weekend at the Illinois schools.

#-Infinity: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I don't want to bloviate too much on the Loonies.  It is sort of strange to bag on a team when you're letting the organization take money out of your bank account every month for season tickets.

That said, I'm mad and sad.  I think the goal for this franchise this year was to get into the playoffs.  They did that, and therefore that is an accomplishment.  (They also reached the final of the U.S. Open Cup, and I'm opening my mind to the concept that a team can be in two different competitions in the same season.)  But it's not moving the goalposts to believe that, if a side finishes well enough to earn a home playoff Game, they should win that home playoff Game.

Moreover, Sunday night they were facing the Los Angeles Galaxy (which, I will confess here, is still a favored team of mine.  I went out to Los Angeles for college and Major League Soccer started up while I was there.  I still have a Galaxy hat.  But boo, I hate them now.  Well, right now), a team that laps the Loons in star quality and money.  But since they were playing on the road, the supposed talent they had didn't manifest itself in the standings.  The Galaxy is an underachieving team that had a leaky Backline.  I really, really thought MNUFC would win.  They should have won.  But I was dreading the worst because, well, I'm a Minnesota sports fan, and Minnesota teams shit the bed whenever they play postseason Games at home.  (To wit, the Twinks a couple weeks ago.)  And they did; shit, once L.A. went ahead with their first Goal (Jan Gregus was caught in no-man's land; he scored United's only Goal, so he cancelled himself out), I sat down and didn't stand up for the rest of the Match because I knew they were done for.  (Aside: You know, I spent a good half-hour trying to find my United FC scarf.  Couldn't find it, so I went with only a free beanie branded with the Loon.  I think I did the right thing.  And no, I didn't jinx the club.)

There has been a lot of #heathout heat in the wake of this humiliating defeat.  That animosity centers around Heath making the decision to keep Darwin Quintero on the bench to start the Game.  I was not absolutely against this decision in and of itself.  For one thing, I hear that Quintero was sick on Thursday.  And for another, I don't know El Cientifico was in-form at the end of the regular season.  I mean, it's not Christiano Ronaldo we're talking about here.  If he hadn't scored in a while, he's not a no-brainer starter.  Actually, if I can criticize anything about Heath's decisions, I criticize him for going back to "his guys," MLS veterans like Kevin Molino and Ethan Finlay, instead of trying some new, young blood like Mason Toye and Hassani Dotson.  Also, Molino was installed as the #10, a position he hadn't been in in 16 months.  This is no goddamn time to put a guy in a position he is rusty in.  That's ridiculous.

With that being said, the Galaxy was there for the taking.  Hey, if the 2-1 result were at Carson, Calif., I would have been totally OK with the Loons losing.  Baby steps and what not.  But like I said, since they were home, I think it's reasonable to expect that they would win at home.  They didn't.  And that's failure.

Oh, by the way, someone hug Miguel Ibarra, please.  He would have injected a near-riot if he were the last substitute into the Match.  What Heath asked for in the pre-Game video, to make the place loud for the opposition -- well, sending Batman into the Game would've done that.  But Heath didn't, stashing him in the bench where he's been the back half of the season ... until now, where he'll probably be told to leave.  Fuck.

I'm just going to not wear Loons shit until next year.  

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