Monday, October 14, 2019

Father Walked In On Me This Morning

I was up, just not opening my eyes.  I was just ... listening, you know?  I heard Father fussing outside and shit, but I swear that I never thought he would open the door so long as I was in there.

But he did.  As soon as I heard the squeak of my bedroom door, I had to open my eyes.  Thank Buddha my body was positioned where, if I opened up my eyes, I wouldn't have to move to look at him.  And he charged in, broom and pan in hand, as he furtively swept up for, like, ten seconds in the area in front of the door.  He was sweeping as if company was coming over, even though it was just past nine in the morning.

"You not awake yet?" Father said.  "Not yet," I replied, with a tone suggesting that I should get a lock.

I have not changed the knob to one with a lock.  For one thing, I don't know how to do it.  But for another, there is a sense of trust that I want to extend to my parents.  I know I'm living with them, I'm saying.  But I have a right to some privacy.  So no, I will not put a lock on the door.  But if I'm in here, I should have the right not for anyone to just barge in.  Frankly, they've been really good when it comes to that.  When they go through the mail and find something that's sent to me, they slip it through the door.  And when they ask if I want a snack, they ask through the door.

So this morning was the first time this child's worst fears of being walked in on has fully materialized.  I can let this pass.  I just hope this is not the start of a trend.

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