To follow up on my previous post -- tldr; I hate myself:
The reason why I wanted to go to Hooters yesterday/Sunday ... well, one of the reasons why I wanted to go to Hooters is because I wanted to bathe in a Sunday afternoon of professional football-watching. I wanted to go to a place where I could see multiple screens, each showing a different NFL game, and since the Vikings played (and won) Thursday, even better because I would have no rooting interest in one game over the rest.
I had another reason: The October coupon I got when I bought the Hooters calendar expires, obviously, October 31. I was going to do my usual thing of avoiding all Halloween festivities by going to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) after work, then eating at Hooters and staying there until I knew all the trick-or-treaters would be done. However, I was told by my boss that I was going to fill in for the second-shifter that night. That's convenient in the sense that I don't need to make up an excuse to stay out for Halloween, but that means that I can't use the coupon that night.
But -- and I thought of this after I left work at noon -- can I use that coupon during the day? I have so much time in the afternoon that I could easily gorge down a lunch using that coupon (which, by the way, gives me 10 boneless wings free if I buy 10 boneless). That immediately took the pressure off me using the coupon that day, considering all the shit I had to publicly eat yesterday/Sunday.
So ... why go to Hooters then? Why not just go to Hooters another Sunday? Yeah ... well, again, the Vikings weren't playing yesterday, so I could just be a neutral and watch all the games. But ... huh, you know, I think I just got it in my head that I was going to Hooters to watch the NFL no matter what. The coupon thing became clear to me, but still, I was going -- and I went, and I ate nachos, but I ate those so fast that there was still time in the fourth quarter, so I had a huge slice of cheesecake, too.
Then I went home and had dinner -- pho. And goddammit, I couldn't finish it. I took it as much of the noodles as I could, but the soup, which is the best part, I left, like, a quarter left. Mother immediately got suspicious; she asked me what else I ate that day, and I told her "just coffee," because I was lying to them by saying I was at work all day. I know that my parents forced me to eat all the food they put in front of me when I was young, and that's how I got all fucked up about eating everything in sight. But as I try to process how they trauma they inflicted upon me, I want to state the very accurate fact that Mother is a damn fine cook, and the pho is probably the greatest dish she makes. I will learn to moderate eating anything else she makes, but give me this. I feel like it's my duty to finish her pho, and I will feel like a bad son whenever I don't, like I didn't last night.
And since I was at the point where I literally could not cram anything more down my gullet because my stomach and my throat were telling me they would vomit it back up, there was no way I was eating or drinking anything at Target Center for the Timberwolves game. Actually, after dinner I felt so fat I felt sick. I got out of the house late, and even though there was ample parking, I met up with my friend and got to our seats just before player introductions. I'm sure that if I were less full I would have been enthusiastic enough to try one of the recommended dishes or one of the new dishes at Target Center. But in my state, no way. I can barely digest the Chinese soup my parents are making me eat-drink as I blog about this.
Once again, I really thought I could just eat my way through the day. I can't anymore. I tried to digest so many calories that I don't think my teenage me would have eaten it all. I should have just gone home straight from work, watched the two games broadcast over-the-air, eaten the whole bowl of pho, gone straight to the Wolves game and just eaten some more. Now, not only do I have some transient guilt over wasting the pho, I have been scouring scalper websites to find a cheap-enough ticket to go to a Wolves game while my folks are gone so I can "properly" have dinner at Target Center. And by the way, the lowest ticket price for all the games I can see is too, too much for me to satiate my OCD and go to another game.
And by the way, I'm sure I really do weigh 200 pounds now. I have so many things I need to do today/Monday, but working out, and hard, should be one of them.
The reason why I wanted to go to Hooters yesterday/Sunday ... well, one of the reasons why I wanted to go to Hooters is because I wanted to bathe in a Sunday afternoon of professional football-watching. I wanted to go to a place where I could see multiple screens, each showing a different NFL game, and since the Vikings played (and won) Thursday, even better because I would have no rooting interest in one game over the rest.
I had another reason: The October coupon I got when I bought the Hooters calendar expires, obviously, October 31. I was going to do my usual thing of avoiding all Halloween festivities by going to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) after work, then eating at Hooters and staying there until I knew all the trick-or-treaters would be done. However, I was told by my boss that I was going to fill in for the second-shifter that night. That's convenient in the sense that I don't need to make up an excuse to stay out for Halloween, but that means that I can't use the coupon that night.
But -- and I thought of this after I left work at noon -- can I use that coupon during the day? I have so much time in the afternoon that I could easily gorge down a lunch using that coupon (which, by the way, gives me 10 boneless wings free if I buy 10 boneless). That immediately took the pressure off me using the coupon that day, considering all the shit I had to publicly eat yesterday/Sunday.
So ... why go to Hooters then? Why not just go to Hooters another Sunday? Yeah ... well, again, the Vikings weren't playing yesterday, so I could just be a neutral and watch all the games. But ... huh, you know, I think I just got it in my head that I was going to Hooters to watch the NFL no matter what. The coupon thing became clear to me, but still, I was going -- and I went, and I ate nachos, but I ate those so fast that there was still time in the fourth quarter, so I had a huge slice of cheesecake, too.
Then I went home and had dinner -- pho. And goddammit, I couldn't finish it. I took it as much of the noodles as I could, but the soup, which is the best part, I left, like, a quarter left. Mother immediately got suspicious; she asked me what else I ate that day, and I told her "just coffee," because I was lying to them by saying I was at work all day. I know that my parents forced me to eat all the food they put in front of me when I was young, and that's how I got all fucked up about eating everything in sight. But as I try to process how they trauma they inflicted upon me, I want to state the very accurate fact that Mother is a damn fine cook, and the pho is probably the greatest dish she makes. I will learn to moderate eating anything else she makes, but give me this. I feel like it's my duty to finish her pho, and I will feel like a bad son whenever I don't, like I didn't last night.
And since I was at the point where I literally could not cram anything more down my gullet because my stomach and my throat were telling me they would vomit it back up, there was no way I was eating or drinking anything at Target Center for the Timberwolves game. Actually, after dinner I felt so fat I felt sick. I got out of the house late, and even though there was ample parking, I met up with my friend and got to our seats just before player introductions. I'm sure that if I were less full I would have been enthusiastic enough to try one of the recommended dishes or one of the new dishes at Target Center. But in my state, no way. I can barely digest the Chinese soup my parents are making me eat-drink as I blog about this.
Once again, I really thought I could just eat my way through the day. I can't anymore. I tried to digest so many calories that I don't think my teenage me would have eaten it all. I should have just gone home straight from work, watched the two games broadcast over-the-air, eaten the whole bowl of pho, gone straight to the Wolves game and just eaten some more. Now, not only do I have some transient guilt over wasting the pho, I have been scouring scalper websites to find a cheap-enough ticket to go to a Wolves game while my folks are gone so I can "properly" have dinner at Target Center. And by the way, the lowest ticket price for all the games I can see is too, too much for me to satiate my OCD and go to another game.
And by the way, I'm sure I really do weigh 200 pounds now. I have so many things I need to do today/Monday, but working out, and hard, should be one of them.
No comments:
Post a Comment