I'm Ghosting My Uncle

So about a month ago, on a Saturday, I heard the doorbell ring.  I assume it's one of those, like, garbage company or roofing company people trying to sell us something, so like what we and many other people usually do when their privacy is invaded, I ignored the person, assuming he'll eventually go away.

He didn't.  And, he is a she.  And that she is my aunt.  After ringing, she knocked vigorously.  At this point I figure either it's a family member or this guy needed to bug out harshly, so I answered the door.  My aunt thrusted a bag of food in my hand, then barged into the house.  She's kind of a bitch when she wants to be; she invited herself in, then looked around and saw all my crap on the stairs and on the landing, and instead of immediately going into what she wanted to talk to me about, she took a beat and said, "Huh."  Not a fan of how I leave things around the house?  That ain't none of her goddamn business, is it?  Oy, she is very judgemental and sometimes gives no fucks about who knows it.  When my uncle died -- have I blog posted about this before? -- she forced my cousin (my uncle's son) to kneel at the coffin in obedience.  She forcefully grabbed the arm of my other cousin (my uncle's daughter), but she buckled because she said she had surgery on it and wasn't supposed to move.

Anyway, there was a reason she dropped by, and it's something I alluded to in a previous blog post and wanted to circle back to it in a bit more detail: Apparently, my uncle isn't doing so well.  He has been in deteriorating health for some time, and he was in the hospital for a spell around the holidays, and as she tells it, he is up and down health-wise since coming home.  And then she asks me not to talk to him.  Why?  She says that if I ask him the generic, "Hey, how are things going?" he is going to lie to me.  I should say that my aunt dropped by a week before the Lunar New Year.  You are supposed to, on that day, contact everyone you know, especially family, and say "Happy New Year!" to them.  I should have asked her what I should do in the wake of such an occasion, but it didn't occur to me then.

I acceded to her wishes and did not call her husband/my uncle.  In fact, I haven't contacted him at all.  And I don't know why in the fuck I haven't done so.  I did tell her that if my uncle takes a turn for the worse, all bets are off; she needs to tell me, and I have to tell my uncle's brother, my father, and if that prompts them to come home from where they were (Asia a month ago, Las Vegas now), well, so be it.  I want to think that her not dropping by means that my uncle is in a holding pattern.  Still, I haven't spoken to him, and it bothers me.  I mean, what if I "disobey" my aunt and, say, text my uncle?  Sure, he might lie to me, but I think the important thing is that I at least reached out to him, so so what?  I know the truth, and again, if the worst-case scenario happens, we will all know about it.

So why in the hell did my aunt tell me not to speak to my uncle?  I don't know how, but I wonder if this is some secret power move my aunt is pulling on me so that, if my uncle (Buddha forbid) passes away, she can somehow blame me or make me look bad to my folks, like I wasn't there for my uncle in his time of need.  She might be devious enough to tell my parents I made the house dirty while they were gone.  Fuckin' Christ, she fucking barged through the door like she owns the house.

I don't want to run afoul of my aunt because she can really fuck things up in my life, but I am essentially giving my uncle the silent treatment.  If he is in ill health, I think it makes sense for me to talk to him.  The more I think about it, the more I hate myself for following what my aunt says.  I should go to talk to him, and damn the consequences.  And I should do that ... before he dies.