The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  A 3-1 screening Week, and the only Loss was a three-Point one at home on Tuesday to a Denver club that got to Minneapolis before the Wolves because the Timberwolves were flying home from Salt Lake City after taking both ends of a two-Game set at The Bastard New Orleans Jazz Monday evening.  And even then it was only a 115-112 setback after the Nuggets led at Halftime by 15 and Anthony Edwards missed a Three-Pointer at the buzzer that would have sent the contest into Overtime.

It's a highly-competitive top of the Western Conference as Minnesota remains in third place, although only a half-Game behind The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics and a Game behind the Nugz.  For that reason (and because the teams below the Wolves didn't have great Weeks), I bob the Wolves above negative numbers but do not put them into Positive Numbers.  But I still encourage them to do well as they sandwich a return tilt with the Nuggets with home Games versus Detroit and Chicago.

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3).  In their final non-conference series of the season, they go to San Francisco and win two-of-three.  Finish at 10-10 as they start conference play this weekend at Iowa.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4).  I don't consider Maryland to be a softball power.  And yet the U. went to College Park to begin B1G play and dropped the series.  The pivotal Game probably was the first one, on Friday, where they lost to the Terrapins, 7-6, in nine Innings.  This may be a prime indicator of how good, or not, this squad is.

Three-Game series at Illinois over the weekend.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -2).  Well, any faint chance the Mild had of getting into the playoff were dashed this screening Week by two defeats: A 6-0 ass-kicking at Los Angeles, and a 5-4 Overtime Loss at home to St. Louis where they blew yet another lead heading into the Third Period.  They sit six Points behind eighth-place (Los) Vegas, but the Golden Knights would need to collapse -- and the Mild would have to climb ahead of the Blues -- to get that birth.  Let's not delude ourselves.

(And by the way, I see the Mild sporting their third jerseys against the Blues, but they still have the Wild logo.  Fuck it, bring the North Stars back -- the name, the logo, the history, everything!  Enough with this "homage" bullshit.  Wild is a stupid name, and if you don't claim North Stars as our own, those motherfuckers in Dallas will.  Fuck it, they already have because no one in this cuckold town wants to fight for what was stolen from us.  Why in the hell did I buy that Mild sweater in North Stars colors?)

Home to San Jose and Las Vegas.

#-Infinity: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: Re-Entry!).  The wrestling team finished 22nd in the NCAAs.  Twenty-second.  I don't know if I've ever seen a Goofer grappler club place so low in the championships before.  (Side note: Penn St. won the whole shebang, again.  But they more than doubled second-place Cornell.  In fact, they racked up 100 more Points than the Big Red, 172.5-72.5.  OK, this is getting fucking absurd.)  The best-placing U. player was Senior Isaiah Salazar, who lost the Fifth Place Match at 184 pounds.

There's not a whole lot to say about this program.  And I think that's a sure sign of its irrelevance.