The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  OK, I am starting to believe.  I worked yesterday/Sunday afternoon's tilt against a Houston Texans club that I still think is pretty good, and the Vikings absolutely pasted them, 34-7.  Sam Darnold seems like a man reborn through his confident play.  Justin Jefferson hasn't missed a beat after catching tuddies only from Kirk Cousins.  And the Defense, under Brian Flores, has become a revelation.  How gratifying is it to see Cousins leave and allow this organization to spread the money it saved with him going to Atlanta on several good players, more of them on a Defense that has played incredibly so far?  Jonathan Greenard, for examples, was a signing (from, of all squads, the Texans), and he sacked his former teammate, Quarterback C. J. Stroud, three times.  You can be such a balanced, and great, team if you invest in money all over the place.

I don't know if I said it here, but I predicted an awful, awful season -- four, maybe even three Wins and possibly flirting with only their second-ever #1 overall draft pick (their first was their inaugural season in The National Football League).  And I certainly didn't think they would be one of five teams (one of which, Buffalo, plays tonight/Monday night) that would be undefeated through three Games.  It's a testament to a front office that so far has selected the right Free Agents and a coaching staff that is putting them in positions to produce hand over first.  And so I put these guys in the top spot and in Positive Numbers because they are blowing away my pessimistic expectations.

Yes, we will see if this holds true next weekend as they travel to Lambeau to play Green Bay, who itself is exceeding some expectations getting to 2-1 despite losing QB Jordan Love.

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  They're on a six-Game heater where they have swept all of their Matches.  But this weekend, their last playing their non-con sked, at the Capital Credit Union Classic in Green Bay, they routed host Wisconsin-Green Bay, North Dakota, and Chicago State.  And before that they roadgraded St. Thomas, Long Island, and (the only name school they swept, but they're really not any good) Auburn.  These Gophers started off the season 1-3 against Power 4 Conference opposition, and I think that's a better indicator of their achievement level.

Guess we'll really see what these young women are made of when they face two incredibly tough opponents at Maturi Pavilion to start Big Ten play -- Wisconsin (ranked seventh as of press time) Wednesday, Purdue (ranked sixth as of press time) Saturday.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I really think they have as good a chance as any of the other seven clubs in the WNBA Playoffs of winning it all.  I might even put them above top-seeded New York.  They're just dialed in right now, and you can't create chemistry at this point in the season.  I ding the Lynx for a few reasons.  First, it turns out that even though Minnesota was on an historic pace to beat advanced defensive metrics in the league's history, it is Connecticut that finished the year with the best Defensive Rating.  Second, to be technical, they did lose their final regular season Game on Thursday, by 17, at home, to Los Angeles, even though Napheesa Collier and Kayla McBride sat out because the tilt was completely unimportant.

And third and most worrying, of the four Quarterfinal Game 1's played yesterday/Sunday, all won by the higher-seeded and home squads, the Lynx, seeded second, won by the smallest margin, seven, as The Phoenix Mercury stormed back from a 14-Point Halftime deficit to take their only lead of the contest with 126 Seconds left in regulation.  Do I think the Merc can finish the job they didn't yesterday/Sunday to take Games 2 and 3 (on Wednesday and Friday, respectively) and notch the huge upset?  No, even though forestalling the possible retirement of legend Diana Taurasi might be a huge motivating factor.  But hey, I am a pessimistic Minnesota sports fan.

I think that if the Lynx win the series, they'll start the Semifinals, either against the apparently better defensive Connecticut Sun or Caitlin Clark and The Indiana Fever, over the weekend.  If it's the Fever, the team might actually pull down those tarps and sell tickets all throughout the upper bowl that they didn't do for Game 1.  Not going to lie, that's kind of shameful.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Lost at home to FC Cincinnati.  I remember the first meeting between these two sides, where the Loons blasted expansion FCC 6-1 or 7-1.  Those days are long gone; those guys have amassed top-end talent, and the Goals they scored in winning 2-1 were scored by two players, Yuya Kubo and Luca Orellano, who showed off exquisite ability in slotting their balls home.  There is an obvious talent gap that MNUFC didn't close even with this recent Transfer Window.

But they did get Kelvin Yeboah.  He was the one who drew one back in that Match (albeit from the penalty spot), and he got the first Goal (and Game-winner) Saturday night as they defeated Sporting Kansas City, 2-0, in Kansas City for the first time in Major League Soccer regular season play.  Now, we have to calm down.  The Loons' last three victories were over SKC, St. Louis City, and The San Jose Earthquakes, the three worst teams in The Western Conference.  (Yeah, better to beat them than to lose to them, but still.)  Also, SKC drew a penalty late in the Match, but Striker William Agada hit the crossbar.  The Sporks then had to play desperate, and that allowed Robin Lod to find Bongokuhle Hlongwane to put the Game on ice with an insurance tally.

Still, right now, United FC has the ninth and final postseason birth in the West, and it has it by five Points over FC Dallas with only four Matches to go.  Saturday MNUFC plays Colorado, who is third in the West, at home, where it has lost more Games this Year than it had during its three-season "halcyon days" at the beginning of Allianz Field.  But again, the XI has Points to play with.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0).  On Thursday they blitzed Michigan at Robbie, 3-0, on a Hat Trick by the red-hot Khyah Harper.  She has a dozen Goals so far this season, second in top-flight women's soccer behind only Karlie Lema of Cal.  Unfortunately, Wisconsin gave the U. its first Loss of the Year yesterday/Sunday afternoon in Madison, 1-0.  And conference play sees a big upgrade in competition: The Gophers travel out to Southern California to play both Los Angeles schools this weekend.

#-4: Gopher football (Last Week: -4).  This is the same shit we have had to witness since as far as I can remember.  Things actually looked promising going into the break, as the Golden Gophers were up on Iowa, 14-7.  But the goddamn floor disintegrated from under them.  The Hawkeyes, not known for the past, oh, two decades for scoring in bunches, outscored the Goofs 24-0 to take back Floyd of Rosedale, humble the fanbase, avenge what I think was a rightful Fair Catch signal by an Iowa Punt Returner in last Year's Game that led to the U. winning, and once again open up questions as to whether the university should move on from P. J. Fleck.  It is uncomfortable to see that Iowa was able to adjust and the Goofers were caught completely flat-footed.  And it is scary to think that the season might crater because of this defeat, especially since they play at Michigan early Saturday afternoon.

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -5).  Yep, this is the tailspin these fucking franchise put themselves in.  Once the hottest ballclub in Major League Baseball, these losers have just finished a 2-5 roadtrip (and screening Week) to Cleveland and Boston, and as of right now, they are on the outside looking in, one Game behind both surging Detroit and a Kansas City outfit that has just lost its seventh straight Game (the last six at home), both of whom have the final two Wild Card spots in The American League.  And don't look now, but the Twinks are only a Game ahead of Seattle.

This would be a great playoff chase for neutrals to follow in the final Week of the regular season, but since we follow the Twins, it has to be said that collapse sums up their fans' worst fears.  The frittering away of all goodwill following that scintillating Wild Card series Win over Toronto last Year by telling everyone they're cutting payroll.  The lassitude of making only one trade at The Trade Deadline .. and the reliever they traded for was rocked so badly the organization cut him.  And, I think, the taking for granted of a fanbase who have come out, time and time again, to love a squad who has proven it will never go for that brass ring, who will never splurge money even once to bring in that bona fide star that might make it a serious World Series contender, who has shown it will never love them back.

Six Games left to make this right.  All at home.  Three versus Miami starting tomorrow/Tuesday, three vs. The Bastard St. Louis Browns to end the season.  Can the Twinks limp their way to a playoff spot?  Or will the collapse be complete?

(Aside: I am cynical enough to think that the Pohlad family is happy that the Vikings are playing so well and that the Lynx are in the WNBA playoffs.  Those teams are taking attention away from the shittiness of the Twinks.  If these guys were the only game in town, the fans would be in open revolt right now over how management has refused to invest in this team.)