The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  It was largely a boom-or-bust week; most of the ten teams on the list either won every game or lost every game.  That's kind of a trick question; that's largely due to the influence of the University of Minnesota teams, most of which are in their early, non-conference, bodybag part of their schedules.

In a sense, then, that makes what the Golden Gopher football team last Saturday in Lincoln, Neb., that much more impressive.  In the heart of their Murderers' Row of games to end their season, the club came back from a 14-point deficit to beat Nebraska 28-24.  Once again the U. had to hold on for dear life, but with Cornhusker De'Mornay Pierson-El about to run the ball he caught into the end zone, Junior Cornerback (and current co-B1G Defensive Player Of The Week) Briean Boddy-Calhoun somehow stripped the ball, which was recovered by Minnesota.  That preserved the first win by the U. at Nebraska since 1960.

Yeah, so this is not the Tom Osborne Cornhuskers of the 80s, the ones that emasculated the Gophers, like, 73-14.  But like I've said before, even though the opponents may not be that formidable, previous Minnesota squads were also not that formidable.  Therefore, that makes what Jerry Kill is doing right now ever the more remarkable.  I don't remember the last time -- maybe the Glen Mason years -- where the football team has been able to punch even a little over its weight class.  I just wanted this team to beat teams it was supposed to beat at home, and then beat crappy teams on the road.  This is the next step: Beating good teams (not great, good teams) on the road.  They are far away from being a contender in the Big Ten, let alone a perennial contender, let alone a national playoff team.  But Kill has followed up a breakthrough with an even better one.  That is this "Brick By Brick" slogan the U.'s athletic department website keeps talking about, but Kill is walking the walk.  Heck, he should be in the running for Coach Of The Year.  (Congratulations, by the way, should go out to Maxx Williams, named Tuesday as one of three finalists for the Mackey, the award given to college football's best Tight End.)

In fact, even if the Golden Gophers lose at Wisconsin in Saturday afternoon's regular season finale 222-0, that does not erase the success this team, and this program, has had this year.  No one in their wildest dreams thought the U. would make it even this far.  And if they somehow go into Camp Randall Stadium and beat the Badgers, which I gave a puncher's chance of them doing?  They win the B1G West and earn a grudge match against Ohio St., a team they lost by only seven points to, in Indianapolis the following week.  A fan can dream, especially after his team notched an improbable come-from-behind upset last weekend.

#-0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  This 0 ranking does not mean that I think this club has turned a corner and will all of a sudden spring a surprise run in the NCAA Tournament.  I still get the feeling this team will lose in the first round.  But you can't lose in the first round if you don't even make it in the tourney, and with these Gophs beating back Maryland in Maryland in five sets, then coming home to sweep a ranked Purdue team, they have banked enough wins (buoyed by their membership in the B1G, as they are still 8-10) to grab one of the final at-large spots.  Of course, it would help if they could win the final two games of the regular season: At Ohio St. tonight (Wednesday night/Thanksgiving Eve) and at home against Indiana Friday.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0).  Well, after that double-hiccup against Bemidji St., the lady Gopher icers have won five games in a row.  I knew they were playing a home-and-home vs. Minnesota State-Mankato; they crushed the Mavericks at their place 5-1 Friday, then crushed them at Ridder Arena 4-0 Saturday.  What I did not see, however, is that they played yet another game this screening week, a special United States Hockey Hall Of Fame Women's Face-Off Classic on Monday at a local rink named Braemar Arena in the suburb of Edina, against St. Cloud St.  Oh, and they blanked the Huskies 5-0.  Sophomore Forward Dani Cameranesi was named WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week, and Freshman Forward Kelly Pannek WCHA Rookie Of The Week.

A very interesting series Thanksgiving Weekend: They play a pair at Princeton Saturday and Sunday.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  The U.'s two b-ball teams are in the resume-padding part of their schedule, but I give the women a higher nod this week.  That's because they at least scheduled a true road game, against Memphis, and moreover came back to beat the Tigers on Sunday, 68-62.  I have no idea how good Memphis is supposed to be, but it's always noticeable whenever a team goes into enemy territory and eke out a win, mostly because very few teams from the BcS Five are playing road games this point in the season.

The Gophers are currently undefeated; they're 4-0 after trashing HBCU Southern Tuesday night.  They are now in Ft. Myers, Fla. over the Thanksgiving Holiday, participating in the Gulf Coast Showcase.  The U. starts the tournament (?) against Vanderbilt.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1).  They beat the ever-living shit out of Michigan St., 36-3.  (They also beat Grand Canyon 36-8, but I don't know if they count.)  That's why they remain the #1 team in the country.  Saturday night they have a pretty big dual at the Sports Pavilion against grappling power Oklahoma St.  I was at the last time the Cowboys played the Gophers here, and Minnesota lost.  I might be free to watch that evening.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  They have the makings of a very good team -- Wednesday night notwithstanding.  They won two-of-three on the road, sandwiching a loss to Tampa Bay with victories at Philadelphia and Florida.  This team is being led by the character of Zach Parise, and that may be leading the youngsters, in particular Jason Zucker, to play their hearts out.

Unfortunately, as I type this they are getting killed at the X by the Stanley Cup champion L.A. Kings.  After this they visit The Team That Was Stolen From Us Friday, then come back home to host St. Louis the next night.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Well, this is the reason why you fatten up your schedule to begin your year.  They almost doubled-up a lower-tier cupcake named Franklin Pierce, then destroyed Marlyand-Baltimore County, both at home.  That was prelude to this week's NIT Season Tip-Off at Madison Square Garden, where the Goofs just lost to putative home team St. John's.  So we are getting the idea of how good this team is and isn't.  Friday they face the loser of the Gonzaga-Georgia game, then on Tuesday they visit Wake Forest and take their part in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  Well, fuck.  Now Kevin Martin is gone for up to two months because of a broken wrist.  Many people in the know say that Martin was the last good thing this team has, so now the Woofie Dogs are going to play howlingly bad, at least until Thaddeus Young and Ricky Rubio come back from the injured list.

They were at Target Center all week, and they were able to beat dysfunctional New York before losing to San Antonio and Sacramento.  Right now, like the Mild, the T-Wolves are playing at home, and it's a tight match against Milwaukee.  That begins a busy week, and it's all on the road -- Lakers, Portland, Clippers, all three games over four days.

#-7: Vikings (Last Week: -5).  Moral victories aren't worth crap, but I know I am not alone in believing that Green Bay was going to come into TCF Bank Stadium and pillage the Vikes by at least 20 points.  In that sense this is ... progress.

Nevertheless there are signs that Teddy Bridgewater is not improving at a rate that leads me to believe that he is going to be a great Quarterback.  Even worse, and more apparent, is the regressing play of Matt Kalil, who was beaten so often he had to resort to holding.  (Fans have noticed; Kalil flipped over some heckler's hat on his way out of the stadium.)  He has a bad knee, but once again I am frustrated that a man once touted to be a Hall of Famer in one of the most important positions on the field may be on his way off of the team.

The Packers are the first of three straight home games now that the Gophers' season is winding down.  This Sunday they face the Carolina Panthers, a club with the same record as the Vikes, I think, yet have a much better shot of winning their division and thus hosting a playoff game.

#-Infinity: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8).  I didn't think I had to blog about them, but I have to.  Why?  Because the squad lost to a bunch of fucking boys.  On Friday they lost in overtime to the United States Under-18 team -- at home.  How the fuck do you allow that to happen?  For that these guys get an honorary spot at the absolute shit-lowest part of the WMNSS.  Shit, you might as well cancel the season.  I mean, I can't even.  A special interconference series at Boston College this weekend.

What The Fuck Is It Now?

You know, things were going swimmingly at work until my boss calls me over.  Apparently someone didn't like the spreadsheets I was giving her.  My Task, and she doesn't like it??

The numbers are wrong.  The format's wrong, too.  I don't know if this has happened before, in all my years (well, two) of doing this, or if this is at least the first time I've heard of these fuck-ups.  Regardless, that means that I have to sit down with my boss to figure this all out, fix all the spreadsheets I've sent the past two months, and make sure he sees each new one for his OK before I send them.

Have I been perfect before?  Honestly, I don't know.  But I feel that I let people down -- unfairly, but I have.  I do not know if I've made these mistakes before.  I think I have.  I also think that with all the new responsibilities I've had before I may -- may -- have made mistakes on these that I didn't before.  It's just very ... shocking to be confronted with these mistakes on stuff I thought I was done with weeks, even months ago.

Right now I'm concerned with how my boss and this person who's receiving these spreadsheets think of me.  Do they (especially this woman on the other end; when my boss gets in a tizzy I stop giving a shit about how he feels) think I'm stupid?  Well, fuck her!

I'm just upset that this will set me back at work.  While I'm doing this this temp is going to catch up to me, and then I don't know what she'll do then.  Well, besides My Task, which I still think I should be doing by myself, but I have no evidence that I can do it myself because of this, which is bullshit because I would have done a better job if I was able to do it all by myself from the start.

And ... back to hating work.

Why I Am Still A Temp (Scheduled Post)

Worked the Vikings game.  It's a stressful position, but sometimes I don't feel the stress so much as empathize with those that do.  People yell a lot at the place I work at, and if it's not towards me, it's towards those that I work with.

Sunday's game wound up being typical, sadly.  It started off great; people from the other truck weren't being overbearing or assholish, and that meant that there was grand comity between those in our booth and us day players.  Unfortunately, one of the guys' words before the game started, that he had a feeling that "they were going to get yelled at," proved all too prophetic.

It happened in the fourth quarter.  There was some chaos, but the director and/or producer was absolutely fucking condescending to the guy who hired me, telling him that his work was "nonsense."  Totally uncalled for, total asshole move.  I wanted to get up and punch the guy, for him, who's a really good guy.  He took it in stride, I think because this is what he wants to do and, ultimately, if he succeeds in this business he'll be able to get away from this son-of-a-bitch.  But it's got to be so hard to keep knuckling under this bully's insults.

There was another guy, a good guy, who was working next to him.  After the game was over we chatted a little bit about that little bitch and his bitchy remark.  Things could get nasty, he said, but hey, the check is really, really nice.  Just as I expected, especially when dealing with sports television.  Moreover, as a freelancer this guy doesn't have to deal with the verbal abuse my supervisor/boss has to deal with as a full-fledged member of the production crew.

I wonder if that's good enough, dealing with someone's bullshit in order to make a great living.  Maybe freelancing isn't distant enough.  And so I go back to my "career" as a lifelong temp.  There is no security and, like with this project that's winding down, I have the stress of figuring out where my next paycheck's going to come from.  But there are upsides to that.  For one thing I won't ever have the feeling of getting the rug pulled out from under me, which might happen if I have a full-time job that I suddenly lose because business is slow or whatever.  But what Sunday illustrated is that as a temp (and an entry-level one at that) little of the condescension comes to me, because I'm too insignificant to matter.  Verbal diatribes are hurled at people who are in positions of some power, like I kind of am with this project now, even though I am a temp.  That means that even though the paycheck's smaller, I can walk away and leave work at work behind me, and I don't have any responsibilities once I walk out that door.  And that is so, so important when it comes to dealing with stress brought on by those who are above you in the organizational chart.  Life's too short to deal with crap at work.  It's just work.  I have quality-of-life needs to worry about.

So this weekend reminded me why I have been a life-long temp.

One Final PANIC, One Final Indignity

Not to say he's putting the screws on or anything, but on Friday my boss asked me how am I doing with the boxes.  Look, I guess I could have lied and said it's going to be done.  You know what?  I should have lied and said I had it all under control.  But I decided I needed to be honest with him and say that I could use somebody's help.  So after one of the temps is done (and he's been harping on the observation he made that she's "catching up"), she's going to help me.

So now I'm going to march over to work, try to be do my thing while being left alone, and at some point, probably this morning, this temp is going to come over and say, "Alright, I'm here to help."  And first I'll be angry that she broke my concentration, then I'll stammer and wonder how else to get her to do something else so I can do The One Final Thing I Have All To Myself, then I'll break down and realize that that is not going to happen, and then I'll have to teach her how to do My Thing, which will further complicate what needs to be done because it's much better if I just control all of this myself.

Man, why can't I have just one thing all to myself?  Can she just do something else?  Why can't I be left alone??

Well, there might be some things that she can do that will keep her at bay, just so I can get another box ready.  I don't know, I just want to be left alone, from the temps and my boss.  That's all.

Time to fucking go to work.

Finally Spoke To Grandmother

Look, I've felt guilty for a long time that I have not spoken to Grandmother.  I have thrown many obstacles in the way of doing that -- I'm too busy, the language barrier, the time difference, I forgot, work, blah-blah-blah.  But in early November my sister said that Grandmother told her she misses me and wants to speak with her.  And that stayed with me.

It took a long while -- I downloaded Skype just before my sis told me that now her daughter-in-law/caretaker prefers us to call instead of Skype, which meant I needed to get a phone card and that took some time because I am very, very busy -- but I finally got around to a Wal-Mart on Wednesday to buy a card (a recommendation made by my shrink -- I didn't know Wal-Mart had phone cards!) and, very early Saturday morning, I called Grandmother.  After a lot of hectoring from the woman I spoke to -- "Grandmother, your grandson wants to talk to you!!!" I heard after she put the phone down -- she came to the phone.

It wasn't anything long or heart-rending, about 2 1/2 minutes at the most.  It was a quick and simple "Hi, how are you doing?  How are you?  How are the parents?" kind of thing.  She wanted me to speak up, but that may have been less her and more the crappy landline I was using.  What was most important to me, and what, deep down, was a reason I haven't tried to call her in so long, is that she at least recognized who I was.  And she did.  I don't know, but maybe she isn't having dementia after all.  Maybe it's all those sleeping pills that made her loopy and erratic.  She says that she's sleeping better now, but I don't know if that is with or without chemical aides.

So my worst fears were not realized.  Even better, I now have gotten over myself so I can talk to her, even for only minutes at a time.  I am going to pray that nothing else weird happens, and I will call her some time in the next week.  And then on, thereafter, for the rest of our lives.  Because she's my Grandmother, and I love her.

Why Am I So Glad To Be Up So Early This Morning?

I have woken up extremely early the past several weeks, even though this morning I woke up at 5, which actually is much later than the times I've woken up most other days.  If this were yesterday or any workday, I'd be cursing in the dark at why I'm up so early.

But I guess that's why I'm kind of happy right now.  It's not yesterday or any workday, it's Saturday.  And even though I have to work the Vikings game tomorrow, and I have this alumni club function tonight (which I kind of consider to be work), right now, at this moment, I have about half a day free.

And I can do whatever I want with it.  After blogging about this and working my fantasy football teams, I think I'm going to check on the laundry to see if the washing machine is working.  Then I'll meditate and try and fall asleep for an hour or so.  And that's the great thing about having all this to myself: If I don't fall asleep, hey, that's cool, I'll go and get in a much-needed workout in this morning.  Then I'll have lunch, get my car (maybe both cars?) washed and go home to either do more chores or watch football before I have to go out this evening.  I might be perplexed with having too many choices later in the day, but right now time is on my side.

Maybe falling asleep at 9:30 and having a solid 7 1/2 hours of sleep brightens your mood.

I Doth Protest Too Much

I've been complaining -- to myself, to my shrink, to others -- that I have been pulling too many long hours.  Not necessarily for work, but oftentimes I have to go do things for my parents' real estate holdings that don't allow me to come home till prime time, or later.  That means that if you include the time I get into my car to the time I enter back home, I am doing 12, 13-hour days.

Normally I would chalk that up to other people, namely my parents for wanting me to do things for them.  Or, like on Tuesday, going to a house where the other two don't show up, which would require me to leave work on another day (specifically today) to meet at this house once again.  That really sucks because that dictates time I could otherwise have for myself.

But as much as I like to point the finger, I have to pull the thumb as well.  I often blame traffic for keeping me out so long; I'm done with something, but it's 5 or 5:30, and I hate being stuck on the highway, so I do something so I can wait for traffic to pass for the evening.  That's a big reason why I come home so late.  Add to that me having dinner outside after seeing my psychologist, or on Thursday, going to a stripper party after work, and I don't have too much to complain about when it comes to being up for half the day.  I don't really have to stay out that long; I just choose to.

On top of that I've also been bitching about how much money I spend and how much food I eat.  After this stripper party Thursday, I wanted to see this ex-stripper at this pizza place I think she still works at.  So even though I had a good fill of my stomach with turkey and potatoes and bread and beer at the party, I decided to spend another 90 minutes at a restaurant eating a pizza.  So I didn't get home until 8:45 when I could have gotten home without the mess of traffic at 7.  Plus I spent $15 I didn't have to spend, and as I type this my gut feels like it's hanging out.  Oh, and this ex-stripper wasn't working last night.

So, well, when it comes to coming home late, broke and fat, it's obvious who's protesting too much.

Accepting Myself As An Early Bird

Still can't sleep until the alarm clock goes off.  Still wake up 90 minutes to two hours before I have to.  (Although I was close just now; woke up at 4:30 and felt the tug of unconsciousness just before the alarm on my iPhone went off.)  I am still perplexed at how my body is doing this to me, although the main culprit is work.  However, the stress I feel about work is coming down.  Mostly that's because most of the temps are gone (we lost half a week ago, we lost a few more Wednesday).  That means there are less people I have to worry over, even though I think there's enough work for them, at least a few more days.  Anyway, what I am saying is that the days of me fretting about what they are going to do and the questions they are going to ask are gone, even though what needs to be done and the questions that are now going to be directed at me are going to continue.

So if I am still going to be bothered, why do I not feel so bad right now?  My psychologist hopes it's because I'm meditating these hours I'm up way too early, but I'm not sure that's correlative or causal.  I just ... feel less stressed at work, even though logically I have no justification to feel that way.  Maybe I have accepted that, at least as long as I have this temporary assignment, my body won't allow me to rest for eight hours and I am going to be waking up way before dawn.  So, if I'm giving myself lemons, I might as well make lemonade.  I can now fit in one session of Transcendental Meditation like my shrink asked me to do, which is something.  Also, I am writing my daily blog post before I go to work.  That's productive.

Yeah, some BS is going to do down at work and it's going to make me mad today, I know it.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -4).  OK, very crowded week; totally surprised that there are ten Twin Cities teams I have to list for this week's survey.  Therefore I can't be as long-winded as I try to be, just so I make sure I can get this in before the clock turns into Thursday.

Overall it was a pretty good week, with the top four teams going undefeated, which offsets the bottom four going winless.  I put the Wild up on top for three reasons.  First, they had the most wins out of any team in the WMNSS.  Second, they beat The Bastard North Stars, and in Dallas, no less.  Third and most importantly, they won those games without Captain and star Zach Parise, who was still recovering from an injury.  The first game or two without him showed how indispensable he was.  As Brandon Mileski on KFAN's "Common Man Progrum" pointed out one day, the Mild appear to have a lack of talent able and willing to plant themselves in front of the net, withstand all the physical abuse and work to put the puck in the net.  Parise may be the only player on the squad who can do it, as evidenced by the 4-3 overtime win over The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.  Nevertheless, they also beat The Team That Was Stolen From Us and Buffalo without him, so maybe this team isn't as bad as that recent losing streak had us believe.

This screening week should be more telling: All three games are on the road, all of them against Eastern Conference opponents: Philadelphia, Tampa Bay, Florida.

#0: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  After taking last weekend off the lady Gopher icers got back to action with a road sweep of Ohio St.  Saturday's 5-3 pounding of the Buckeyes was keyed by the first-ever hat trick as a Gopher by Senior Meghan Lorence, who also notched the game-winning goal in Friday's 4-2 win.  For that, she is this week's WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week.  However, they are not the #1 team in the land this week; that honors remains with Boston College.

This week the club has a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato (at Mankato Friday, at Ridder Arena Saturday.)

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  What?  The Gophers' wrestling season has started?  Great -- even more time I need to do the survey.  However, I did not know that Minnesota is ranked #1 in Intermat's rankings.  (Two-time defending champion Penn St., on the other hand, is ranked fifth and seventh.  Surprised. ...)  At least they defending their top ranking by blitzing Air Force and Wyoming on the road.  No surprise; this program is going to beat the ass of pretty much any team not ranked in the top 10.  But that means we have to wait until the NCAAs in March to see if they can be #1 when it counts.  Till then, we make sure the wheels don't fall off here.  This weekend they face a pastry in Grand Canyon (who?  You mean the whole natural landmark?) and actually begin Big Ten play with a meet against Michigan St., both at the Sports Pavilion.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!).  The Marlene Stollings Era has begun with two victories against Southeastern Louisiana and Cleveland St., both at Williams Arena.  They racked up 109 and 93 points against two tomato cans, but nevertheless I believe that Stollings is intent on installing an up-tempo offensive attack, which is much different than previous Head Coach Pam Borton.

Longtime fans already are liking the coaching change.  I like the fact that Senior Rachel Banham (who recently passed the 2,000-point mark) and Sophomore (?) Amanda Zahui B. has been augumented by the best high school basketball player in the state of Minnesota last year, Carlie Wagner.  This could be the Big Three of the Big Ten, or that may be wishful thinking.  Regardless it's a 2-0 start, and they hope to remain undefeated with their first true test Sunday, a road game against Memphis, followed by a home game vs. Southern Tuesday.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  A 2-1 week which will virtually assure that the absolute worst-case scenario -- no invitation to the NCAA Tournament -- will not occur.  Naturally they got dick-smacked by three at Penn St., but sandwiched that with a four-set win over Northwestern at home and, tonight (Wednesday night) a gutty five-set victory in Maryland.  They still may be one-and-done, however.  This week: Home to Purdue Saturday night, at Ohio St. Wednesday.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!).  Richard Pitino began the U. penis ballers' season with a 81-68 defeat to his old man, Rick Pitino, and Louisville on an aircraft carrier in Puerto Rico.  Splashy start, although it would have been much better if they had won.  They finally reached the win column by spanking a not-bad mid-major program, Western Kentucky, 76-54 Tuesday.  Have no idea how they are projected to fare, but they probably will go to 4-0 after home games this screening week against a lower-tier school named Franklin Pierce and Maryland-Baltimore County.

#-5: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  You know how people say a game isn't as close as the score indicates?  This is one of those games.  But think about it: If it's a one-score game, as the Vikings' loss to Chicago was, isn't it by definition close?

Regardless, this was a winnable game, even if they proved themselves to be very generous opponents.  Coming into the game there was so much drama and disapproval swirling Jay Cutler, so much so that I was convinced to bench him in fantasy league in favor of Colin Kaepernick (something I blogged about ad nauseum last blog post).  I totally forgot that the ViQueens will always be the salve that soothes teams' pain and suffering.  He was lights-out, Cutler was, throwing two touchdown passes to Brandon Marshall.

Meanwhile, the Vikes remained paralyzed, especially on offense.  And this is where I have to pay close, glaring scrutiny at Matt Kalil.  It has been alarming how far he has regressed, from Pro Bowler and potential 10-year starter to deserving to get benched.  What the fuck happened?  He was routinely abused by Jared Allen on Sunday.  And what was once seen as a set-it-and-forget-it pick, a fixture playing one of the most important positions on a team, now becomes something Head Coach Mike Zimmer and General Manager Rick Spielman now have to worry about.

Green Bay comes to town this week.  If the Packers seemed to pack the Metrodome, just wait till you see how many Vikings fans opted to sell their tickets than go.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  Both Twin Cities gridiron teams were close but ultimately failed to rise to the occasion in games they could have won, at least on paper.  This Ohio St. QB, J.T. Barrett, has learned to fully step into Braxton Miller's shoes, but they turned the ball over a couple times.  And that's what's the most galling about this: The Gophers cannot say they didn't have their chances.  They did, but they just couldn't cash in.

One play I want to highlight.  Remember the Santoso missed Field Goal?  Some people can deduce that if he made that 50-plus-yard FG, Mitch Leidner and company would have been driving to tie, not just to score.  But the play before, the third-down play, was a designed keeper by Leidner to center the ball for Santoso.  I don't remember the yards to gain, but it wasn't like it was 20.  Why not throw the ball, or try a bubble screen?  This is a move to set-up a Field Goal attempt at the gun, something deployed when there will be no more plays to play.  And it seemed like a waste of a play.  And then they didn't score any points from it.

Nonetheless the Goofers still control their own destiny.  They need to win two very tough games on the road against the other contenders in the B1G West.  Next weekend it's Wisconsin, but this Saturday it's Nebraska.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  Losses to Houston, New Orleans and Dallas this week showed, surprisingly, that this team is now Ricky Rubio's, and without Rubio this team is totally fucked.  As one writer on ESPN.com said, right now there is nothing going for this club except for the offensive efficiency of wing Kevin Martin ... and since he can't play defense, that isn't as great as it could be.

On the upside is that, right now, they are trashing New York at home.  (Hopefully I can get this blog post in before that game's over.)  The Knicks start a four-game homestand; this screening week the Woofie Dogs welcome San Antonio and Sacramento.

#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  The U. male icers land here because they were the #1 team in the country and got swept in a home-and-home series against Minnesota-Duluth.  Not the worst thing in the world; for casual college hockey fans, the #1 team loses many times.  It's the sweep that bugs me.  They were thrown all the way down to #4, supplanted at the top spot by, of all teams, Michigan Tech.  Michigan Tech??  Yes, Michigan Tech.  For longtime WCHA fans, they were the doormats of the league.  As badly as your squad could be, you could nonetheless safely assume you could sweep a two-game series from Michigan Tech.  But this year they are the lone remaining undefeated program in the country, therefore they leapfrog from #5 to take the top spot for the first time since 1976 -- the year I was born.

And now I hear that Arizona St. will follow Penn St. and field an actual varsity men's hockey program?  Damn world's gone mad!

Anyhoo, the team takes a rest and plays an exhibition at Mariucci Arena against the United States Developmental Under-18 hockey team Friday night.  Therefore I get to drop this program from next week's WMNSS.  Phew!  Turns out there's one less team I need to write about!

Why The Fuck Didn't I Start Cutler?

I broke my own cardinal rule when it comes to fantasy sports: Always, always, ALWAYS start players playing against the Vikings.  They are the team that keeps on giving fantasy points.  You can never fail when starting against my ViQueens.  Shit, I think I won many games whenever Minnesota played Tampa Bay because I always started Mike Alstott against them and he always scored two short-yardage touchdowns.  Hell, that's why I drafted him a couple times.

Sunday morning I did what I rarely do -- actually look at my starting lineup.  There I had Cutler or, gulp, Colin Kaeperinick at Quarterback.  I originally had Cutler starting, but goddammit I started listening to the doubters, those who said that Cutler's performance is indicative of a Chicago Bears team in a complete tailspin, and that he wasn't going to get out of it.  Little do these haters know that Chicago is playing the Vikings, the Jonas Salk vaccine of losing.

But eventually I switched out Cutler for Kaepernick.  I don't know when, for I was worried about other players too, including picking up Isaiah Crowell for some reason.  Later on in the day, when Cutler was the Cutler of old and racking up big yards against the piss-poor Vikings defense, I thought I was having a good day ... until I checked my lineup and realized that I indeed started Kaepernick over Cutler because everyone said so.  And my heart sank.

The difference between Kaepernick's OK day and Cutler's great day was more than 12 points.  My opponent for the week was my best friend's two sons.  He said not to worry; I was going to beat them.  Little did neither of us know that fucking Le'Veon Bell was going to go off on the Monday Night game.  I had downloaded the Yahoo! Fantasy Sports application Sunday so I could follow in real time Monday Night.  As the gap I had established on Sunday grew smaller and smaller, I knew what was going to happen.  So eventually I turned off my phone and closed my eyes, where I fell into a sleep in order to escape from my eventual loss.

And I know I did: Bell ran for 200 yards.  What really sucks, though, is that the margin of defeat is, I think, well within the dozen points that I would have garnered had I started Cutler.  But I didn't.  I am in the thick of a playoff race, and this is damaging, very damaging to getting to our postseason two weeks from now.  And all because I didn't have the gumption to stick with my gut and draw from experience of being a sorry Vikings fan.  Goddammit, do I suck.