It's funny how I and the world has come around on facemasks. I should blog post about it some other time, because I was going back to one in March at the advent of COVID-19 where I was adamant that I did not need a mask at all. Fucking worm turns.
Anyway, it was around that time Mother made me a mask, unprompted. First I was all, "Er, OK ... thanks, I guess." But pretty soon I came around to believe that there were a lot of people carrying the virus without knowing it, so it would help to wear a mask to either stop it from reaching me or, more likely, to prevent others from getting the virus I was carrying. So I came around relatively quickly to wearing that mask, and the three others Mother made later, whenever I was out in public.
Mother also taught me how to wash them. She gave me a big metal bowl wherein she would fill it up with the hottest water coming out of the bathroom sink. Throw in the mask and some detergent (we have a lot of detergent, a lot of which is not high-efficiency and thus useless to use in the relatively new HE washing machine we got a few years ago), then hand wash. Pour out the water, refill with hot water again, and let the mask sit in there to rinse. Pour out, hang the mask to dry, iron, then reuse.
I have been doing that with all four of my masks for months now. Still holding up. But I can see the wear on them. This afternoon I stopped by Dunkin' Donuts to cash in on a discount I got through T-Mobile (or at least I think I did) when one of the customers complimented me on my mask -- it looked comfy, she said. And for some reason I decided to expound on the fact that I thought it was getting old. I even thought to take it off. Yeah, that was stupid of me. I looked behind me to see if any customer was coming in, and seeing that there wasn't, I took off the mask to show that there was just a second layer, a liner of ... cotton I guess behind the knitted cotton that presses up against my nose and mouth, and it was getting frayed, as was the yarn. I hope I neither got nor gave corona.
Anyway, that wasn't an epiphany that struck me at Dunkin'. As I was washing and rinsing and ironing each mask, I noticed the fraying and the holes getting a little bigger. So I have looked online to see if there are better-manufactured masks that I can buy. Currently I am obsessed with finding ones with the recommended materials, first as decreed by the World Health Organization, then by this French organization that deals in, like standards in industries called AFNOR. (They have a guide to the best materials, but 1) I am not allowed to download the list and 2) it's in French so I can't read it.) It looks as though the "ideal" mask has three layers: An outer layer that is man-made, like polyester, in order to keep moisture and other people's moist breaths from reaching your face (I'm actually thinking the cup of a bra would make a great shell for a mask); an inner layer made out of cotton that lets you breathe in comfort; and an inner, possibly removable, filter layer, ideally made out of polypropylene that captures the virus. As far as I can tell, no mask fits this standard, which surprises me, because if a company or even someone on Etsy can, it or she can just put on its or her advertising "Meets WHO Standards Of Masks," and it or she could make millions. But I shall keep looking.
In the meantime I am getting slightly worried that the masks are no longer up to snuff. But I am a tad more worried that my mask will be seen as no longer up to snuff. All these months I have not seen a knitted mask. Most people are masking up now, but all of them seem to be made out of, well, man-made materials that do a better job. They probably have more than two layers, neither of which is starting to break down, like mine appear to be.
I appreciate so much Mother making me these masks. And when the time comes, I will show her that they're starting to wear, and is it possible she can make new ones, better ones, ones that fit the standard of safety the world seems to be abiding by now. And I think she'll make them. Till then, I will continue to wear and wash these on the weekends -- to keep my community safe, and as an appreciation for Mother's love.
Monday, August 10, 2020
Sunday, August 9, 2020
The Republican National Convention Is Being Held In Sturgis Right Now
So the coronavirus was able to populate/invade our shores because the Republicans in the White House was too late in detecting the virus in Wuhan Province, China, then closed the borders way too late and to the wrong side of the world. Too many asymptomatic people were getting it and then passing it on, and the first mass casualties were the elderly living in congregate care homes. We shut everything do ... or so we thought. We became babies who couldn't hold their piss together -- "Come on, can we leave our homes now?" -- so we half-assed the shutdown, and when we opened everything up, too many dumb assholes thought it was Rumspringa and congregated in bars and parties, and it's spread everywhere again.
Already some states (the dumb red ones down South) are opening up schools, creating yet another goddamn petri dish whereby this virus can continue to live and thrive. And now, beginning this weekend, there is another place where experts agree could (I think they really want to see "will" but are too afraid to say it) become the nation's next super-spreader event: Sturgis.
There have already been many super-spreader events in this country already: The bars and nightclubs and restaurants that needed to be shut down; the parties the mayor of Los Angeles is threatening to shut down; and schools that have already sent students home because dozens have tested positive. But Sturgis is special in its own regard. People estimate that a quarter million bikers are going to converge in the city in South Dakota, which makes it an infinitely bigger event than a choir practice or a funeral. But it's also the appearance regarding the staging of the event, including the decision to stage the event itself, that makes this fucking party an emblem of how the United States has so royally fucked up its response to COVID-19. And speaking of party: Sturgis is also a distillation of Republicanism, and the twisted values of blissful ignorance and fevered arrogance that have taken hold in a disturbingly large minority of the country and, wholly, in a political party that has cheated its way into control of this nation -- which is completely why the United States has so royally fucked up its response to COVID-19.
This (behind a paywall) is one of several pieces by the New York Times on the start of Sturgis. I didn't read the story because I'm too cheap and have yet to feel comfortable enough to sign away information to the NYT. But the quote in the headline pretty much gives me all I need to know about how the motorcyclists who are attending the week-plus-long event feel about the coronavirus: "If we get it, we chose to be here." What the fuck does that even mean? I mean, just take that sentence and pull it apart. There's a condition, but this stupid worker (she works at a biker apparel shop) says that if that condition is true ... she states where she is located? Huh?
The next person in this article came into town from Rapid City, S. D. He, like I'm pretty sure 99% of the bikers there, are maskless. Why? "I haven't seen anyone out here wear a mask so it kind of feels like it defeats the purpose." Shit. OK, I understand that wearing a mask protects people from the wearer more than the other way around. But even if other people choose not to protect you from them, does it really make sense to say "Fuck it!" and not wear a mask yourself? This dumbass might have the virus and not know it. And maybe, just maybe, wearing a mask will help block the virus from this prick's nose and mouth. Not worth a shot?
Let me go back to the MAGA imbecile working in the shop. This is the classic reason why so many people are showing up to Sturgis, I know it: "We are allowed to make our own choices." Sure, you are. We don't have the choice of catching corona if you get near us, but watching out for your fellow American isn't top of mind to these people -- or to Republicans. See, that statement is, to many, freedom and freedom in America in its purest, ideal form. Never mind that we all want to live; the assumption that we all have that in common, or at least feeling we all have a responsibility to each other to keep each other alive, may be the most frightening revelation about Republicans wielding power under Trump that we have not yet noticed. There is a lot of stupidity and obliviousness going around, but the cyclists there have to know that there is a very scary disease for which there is no cure spreading in the country, and that it is known to kill people. But taking steps to stop that, so people don't die, is a fundamental breach of their God-given rights. 'Murica!
Individual rights that have curdled into blind selfishness is a hallmark of current Republicanism. And everyone who is connected to the event going forward -- the bikers attending, the locals and the strippers who come to town to make money, the governor who decided to allow the event to happen with no restrictions -- exhibit in action and probably state in words that they are exercising what the Republican party has repeated in a psychotic loop for at least 40 years. They can do whatever they want because they have the power to control their own lives. Well, bless your hearts, assholes.
Oh, one other thing that pisses me off about the RNC at Sturgis. If infections start to happen, people who endorsed Sturgis going forward this year will say something to the effect of, "This could have been a lot worse. You see, many of our events were outside, so you should give us credit for not stuffing these riders in bars where the virus really could have spread!" That would be a real fucking stupid thing to say, and I would bet, oh, ten bucks someone would say that. My point is that people at Sturgis, and Republicans, will move the goalposts a country mile in order to justify doing what they do even if the shit hits the fan. Close down Sturgis for the year -- "No! South Dakota can hold events this big without spreading corona, and the state needs the money, and it's just the flu, and FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But then the Sturgis Emergency Room will start to fill with people in leather vests who can't breathe and have fevers and those same people will go, "Hey, it could have been worse -- we planned on holding our lingerie fights in the bar! And we were spread out, sorta, because we were outside! And look at the money we made!" They spin every bad thing in a way that makes them look good. They can't lose. They can't ever lose. And they are never, never wrong, no matter if circumstances make normal people reconsider their choices. That is Republicanism in a nutshell.
I am shocked that Trump hasn't announced he'll go to Sturgis this week. He'll be hailed by motorcyclists as a conquering hero, even though he has done jack shit about stopping the coronavirus, or anything, for that matter. Leni Riefenstahl, where the fuck are you? (Dead.)
And yes, this makes me regret all those times I've sat in a restaurant for a couple hours.
Already some states (the dumb red ones down South) are opening up schools, creating yet another goddamn petri dish whereby this virus can continue to live and thrive. And now, beginning this weekend, there is another place where experts agree could (I think they really want to see "will" but are too afraid to say it) become the nation's next super-spreader event: Sturgis.
There have already been many super-spreader events in this country already: The bars and nightclubs and restaurants that needed to be shut down; the parties the mayor of Los Angeles is threatening to shut down; and schools that have already sent students home because dozens have tested positive. But Sturgis is special in its own regard. People estimate that a quarter million bikers are going to converge in the city in South Dakota, which makes it an infinitely bigger event than a choir practice or a funeral. But it's also the appearance regarding the staging of the event, including the decision to stage the event itself, that makes this fucking party an emblem of how the United States has so royally fucked up its response to COVID-19. And speaking of party: Sturgis is also a distillation of Republicanism, and the twisted values of blissful ignorance and fevered arrogance that have taken hold in a disturbingly large minority of the country and, wholly, in a political party that has cheated its way into control of this nation -- which is completely why the United States has so royally fucked up its response to COVID-19.
This (behind a paywall) is one of several pieces by the New York Times on the start of Sturgis. I didn't read the story because I'm too cheap and have yet to feel comfortable enough to sign away information to the NYT. But the quote in the headline pretty much gives me all I need to know about how the motorcyclists who are attending the week-plus-long event feel about the coronavirus: "If we get it, we chose to be here." What the fuck does that even mean? I mean, just take that sentence and pull it apart. There's a condition, but this stupid worker (she works at a biker apparel shop) says that if that condition is true ... she states where she is located? Huh?
The next person in this article came into town from Rapid City, S. D. He, like I'm pretty sure 99% of the bikers there, are maskless. Why? "I haven't seen anyone out here wear a mask so it kind of feels like it defeats the purpose." Shit. OK, I understand that wearing a mask protects people from the wearer more than the other way around. But even if other people choose not to protect you from them, does it really make sense to say "Fuck it!" and not wear a mask yourself? This dumbass might have the virus and not know it. And maybe, just maybe, wearing a mask will help block the virus from this prick's nose and mouth. Not worth a shot?
Let me go back to the MAGA imbecile working in the shop. This is the classic reason why so many people are showing up to Sturgis, I know it: "We are allowed to make our own choices." Sure, you are. We don't have the choice of catching corona if you get near us, but watching out for your fellow American isn't top of mind to these people -- or to Republicans. See, that statement is, to many, freedom and freedom in America in its purest, ideal form. Never mind that we all want to live; the assumption that we all have that in common, or at least feeling we all have a responsibility to each other to keep each other alive, may be the most frightening revelation about Republicans wielding power under Trump that we have not yet noticed. There is a lot of stupidity and obliviousness going around, but the cyclists there have to know that there is a very scary disease for which there is no cure spreading in the country, and that it is known to kill people. But taking steps to stop that, so people don't die, is a fundamental breach of their God-given rights. 'Murica!
Individual rights that have curdled into blind selfishness is a hallmark of current Republicanism. And everyone who is connected to the event going forward -- the bikers attending, the locals and the strippers who come to town to make money, the governor who decided to allow the event to happen with no restrictions -- exhibit in action and probably state in words that they are exercising what the Republican party has repeated in a psychotic loop for at least 40 years. They can do whatever they want because they have the power to control their own lives. Well, bless your hearts, assholes.
Oh, one other thing that pisses me off about the RNC at Sturgis. If infections start to happen, people who endorsed Sturgis going forward this year will say something to the effect of, "This could have been a lot worse. You see, many of our events were outside, so you should give us credit for not stuffing these riders in bars where the virus really could have spread!" That would be a real fucking stupid thing to say, and I would bet, oh, ten bucks someone would say that. My point is that people at Sturgis, and Republicans, will move the goalposts a country mile in order to justify doing what they do even if the shit hits the fan. Close down Sturgis for the year -- "No! South Dakota can hold events this big without spreading corona, and the state needs the money, and it's just the flu, and FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But then the Sturgis Emergency Room will start to fill with people in leather vests who can't breathe and have fevers and those same people will go, "Hey, it could have been worse -- we planned on holding our lingerie fights in the bar! And we were spread out, sorta, because we were outside! And look at the money we made!" They spin every bad thing in a way that makes them look good. They can't lose. They can't ever lose. And they are never, never wrong, no matter if circumstances make normal people reconsider their choices. That is Republicanism in a nutshell.
I am shocked that Trump hasn't announced he'll go to Sturgis this week. He'll be hailed by motorcyclists as a conquering hero, even though he has done jack shit about stopping the coronavirus, or anything, for that matter. Leni Riefenstahl, where the fuck are you? (Dead.)
And yes, this makes me regret all those times I've sat in a restaurant for a couple hours.
Saturday, August 8, 2020
Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: July
A very good month, if I may say. Of the dozen for the month, I say eight-to-ten of them are spank-worthy. And it's really difficult to rank them. I mean, there's:
But I'm giving the #1 spot to the main girl, Alex, hailing from Sanford, Fla. She's got long, pure jet-black hair, and she's sporting a perfect smile. Her bikini top is blue with white stripes and her bottom is red -- yes, it's American flaggish. Most importantly, she's got her left hand on her hip and she's saluting with her right. And this non-military citizen in turn salutes you by getting hard over your photo!
I already masturbated once tonight, but after seeing this bevy of beauties, I can do it again right now!!! Fap-fap-fap!!!
- Alexandra, of Pasadena, Tex., with a bikini patterned after the American flag (of course being July). She has large black hair, but she's got an enormous and distinctive smile;
- Kara, of Atlantic City, with long brown hair and a red two-piece bikini. She is one of the few who's mostly facing the camera, and her right hand on her hip makes her really hot;
- Samantha, of Albuquerque, with long brown hair and a cute smile. Her body is angled, and her right hand is resting on something that is covered by, I think, a towel, and I don't know and it's kind of driving me crazy;
- Ashley, of Jacksonville, N.C., with her long black hair and a red two-piece, the top being a more material, athletic bra-type. More side-angled than front-facing, but her left (back) arm is up to the side of her head, and that makes her shot look really hot;
- Makayla, of Loveland, Colo., with her long blonde highlights and a white two-piece, the top being bandeau. There is some terry cloth on her left fingers, and that thing has the Hooters logo on it. She's totally facing forward; in fact, she's sticking her (slim) bosom out and putting both hands on her hips. Makayla's sporting a Mona Lisa smile, which I find either devastating af or off-putting, depending on the second;
- Katrina, of Farmingdale, N.Y., with her long dark hair, ebony skin, red two-piece, broad smile and left arm on top of her head. She's somewhat turned to the side, but you can still see how big her breasts are;
- and Haley, of Louisville, with her long, pure blonde hair, porcelain skin and blue two-piece bikini standing on the side of a pool. She's also posing at an angle, but she has tits even bigger than Katrina!
But I'm giving the #1 spot to the main girl, Alex, hailing from Sanford, Fla. She's got long, pure jet-black hair, and she's sporting a perfect smile. Her bikini top is blue with white stripes and her bottom is red -- yes, it's American flaggish. Most importantly, she's got her left hand on her hip and she's saluting with her right. And this non-military citizen in turn salutes you by getting hard over your photo!
I already masturbated once tonight, but after seeing this bevy of beauties, I can do it again right now!!! Fap-fap-fap!!!
Friday, August 7, 2020
The Worst Fucking Day In Minnesota Sports History
Yesterday afternoon, Taylor Rogers choked on a 5-4 lead and the Twinks lost to the shitty Pittsburgh Pirates.
Later that afternoon, the Mild got shut out by Vancouver and now face elimination from the Stanley Cup Playoffs ... a playoffs they would not even be qualified for if not for the NHL bootstrapping a new format after the season got paused due to the coronavirus pandemic, but whatever.
And last night, the Loonies' run got derailed in an upset (they were favored to win) by Orlando, 3-1. They just needed to stop Nani, but that motherfucker braced them.
Oh, and ESPN Streak? Got Wolverhampton right to get to 15, where I actually became one of the leaders, but then got that streak broken after I stupidly decided Denver was going to beat Portland. Damian Lillard went nuts from three so the Nuggets were trailing, but it was close. Yet near the end of the Game, Nuggets Head Coach Michael Malone sat Nikola Jokic. What the fuck are you doing? YOU COST ME MY STREAK, GODDAMMIT!!!
The past week all Minnesota sports teams were playing really well. Between last Thursday and Wednesday, the Twins lost once and the Wild lost once, and that was it. But all three local teams that played Thursday lost Thursday. But oh, how the fucking worm turns. A triple loss!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is The Worst Fucking Day In Minnesota Sports History. I don't care if I'm being overdramatic. It's The Worst Fucking Day In Minnesota Sports History. I wish we could shut down sports again so this bullshit doesn't happen ever again.
Oh, and when I said last night about The ESPN Streak being all icing on the cake? Fuck that. I'm a goddamn liar. This is bullshit, plain and simple.
Some good has to come from this, but jerking off to some female bodybuilder's shit brickhouse ass on Facebook hasn't made me feel any better. Maybe I'll do some budgeting I've been procrastinating on.
I hate everything right now. I hate myself right now. It's taking everything to stop me from banging my head against the wall until I bleed through my ears.
Don't be a sports fan. It's a road to fucking ruin.
Later that afternoon, the Mild got shut out by Vancouver and now face elimination from the Stanley Cup Playoffs ... a playoffs they would not even be qualified for if not for the NHL bootstrapping a new format after the season got paused due to the coronavirus pandemic, but whatever.
And last night, the Loonies' run got derailed in an upset (they were favored to win) by Orlando, 3-1. They just needed to stop Nani, but that motherfucker braced them.
Oh, and ESPN Streak? Got Wolverhampton right to get to 15, where I actually became one of the leaders, but then got that streak broken after I stupidly decided Denver was going to beat Portland. Damian Lillard went nuts from three so the Nuggets were trailing, but it was close. Yet near the end of the Game, Nuggets Head Coach Michael Malone sat Nikola Jokic. What the fuck are you doing? YOU COST ME MY STREAK, GODDAMMIT!!!
The past week all Minnesota sports teams were playing really well. Between last Thursday and Wednesday, the Twins lost once and the Wild lost once, and that was it. But all three local teams that played Thursday lost Thursday. But oh, how the fucking worm turns. A triple loss!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is The Worst Fucking Day In Minnesota Sports History. I don't care if I'm being overdramatic. It's The Worst Fucking Day In Minnesota Sports History. I wish we could shut down sports again so this bullshit doesn't happen ever again.
Oh, and when I said last night about The ESPN Streak being all icing on the cake? Fuck that. I'm a goddamn liar. This is bullshit, plain and simple.
Some good has to come from this, but jerking off to some female bodybuilder's shit brickhouse ass on Facebook hasn't made me feel any better. Maybe I'll do some budgeting I've been procrastinating on.
I hate everything right now. I hate myself right now. It's taking everything to stop me from banging my head against the wall until I bleed through my ears.
Don't be a sports fan. It's a road to fucking ruin.
Thursday, August 6, 2020
OK, I don't want to jinx myself, but I am on an all-time winning streak on ESPN Streak right now. I have guessed correctly the past 14 times I made a choice. I don't think I have a trick, although I think I have been picking correctly when it comes to the NBA and the WNBA -- although, come to think of it, I have been guessing on some MLS Games too. Somehow I am only one behind the current leader (I think results reset every month).
The longest streak in July was 27 in a row, and that person won three grand. And I probably just screwed myself by selecting Wolverhampton to beat Olympiakos in Europa League play this afternoon. But shoot, 14 in a row is something I didn't think I'd ever reach, so it's all icing on the cake from here!
The longest streak in July was 27 in a row, and that person won three grand. And I probably just screwed myself by selecting Wolverhampton to beat Olympiakos in Europa League play this afternoon. But shoot, 14 in a row is something I didn't think I'd ever reach, so it's all icing on the cake from here!
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Before I begin, I want to note that the Wild are in the Survey during a time of the month where, well, they usually wouldn't be. First time the National Hockey League has ever played in the month of August, in fact. And it may be the only time a professional hockey team based in Minnesota will ever play in August.
#0: United FC (Last Week: 0). Beyond everyone's wildest dreams? Sure. Games that count during these unprecedented times are so unprecedented that I don't know if we can put any reasoning into why any team plays or doesn't play well, nor do I think we can take away any lesson for a team's season once it's over. Some leagues are playing in a closed, hermetically-sealed environment in Florida. Others are trying to fight off this killer virus while plying their trade in front of nobody. Nobody's playing when they usually play, nor are playing as many Games as they normally do. And there is some future anxiety over how the next season is going to play out, or if it's going to play out. Shit, man, MLB and the NFL still might not finish this season.
So who knows why MNUFC are in the semifinals of the MLS Is Back Tournament? I could downplay the results of the run this side is on, especially if tentative plans to actually finish the season (via an abbreviated schedule that is conference play only but will be played in everyone's home pitches) actually gets off the ground, and I'm still not sure about that. What I do know is that the Loons still have San Jose's number, if the 4-1 Quarterfinal rout of the Earthquakes Saturday night is any indication. I do know that Robin Lod has started to shed his image as a bust with the opening Goal of that Match. I do believe that this franchise currently has the depth that helps Minnesota through the course of a single Game as well as a tournament and/or season.
I also know that when it comes to Games that count, the Loons are now the only team in Major League Soccer that remains undefeated. I also know that, even though you don't play Games on paper, they are a favorite to defeat putative hosts Orlando City SC in Thursday's Semifinal, also known as the Adrian Heath Derby. It would suck to be in a bubble this long only to go home without winning the trophy and the CONCACAF Champions League birth that goes along with it. But shoot, no one though United FC would get this far; why can't they go all the way and win this hastily-arranged tournament?
#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2). Impressive -- a 2-0 screening week by dint of a grind-it-out 83-81 victory over Chicago and another Second Half comeback to defeat Connecticut a second time already. It's a small sample size, but a team many predicted would be one of the WNBA's worst is a half-Game behind Seattle in the West and one of only four squads that have lost only once so far. The downside to this, however, is that the injury bug that bit the Jynx last season has returned to take another bite this year. Karima Christmas-Kelly, one of the club's captains whose season ended (her third consecutive) with a ruptured right Achilles tendon, was outright cut this past week. Lexie Brown sustained a concussion and is out for the time being. And fellow Guard Shenise Johnson is nursing a strained hamstring. No one thought Minnesota would get to 3-1, but this week's schedule gets busier and more challenging (the Sun is one of two squads that are still winless): New York (the other winless team) tonight/Wednesday night, Indiana Friday, Los Angeles Sunday, Washington (one of the other one-loss teams) Tuesday.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1). Record largely dictates the order of each week's WMNSS. Still, it seems unfair to slot into third place a squad that won six Games and lost only once during a screening week. The Twins are playing hella ball right now; their only blemish was a 2-0 loss Thursday to Cleveland, but the club took the other three Games. Plus, they took the back half of the two-Game set against St. Louis to start the week and pipped both ends of a two-Game half-series vs. Pittsburgh to end it. (All of these Games, by the way, were at home.) The bullpen has looked fantastic, but what is sticking out for me is the Starting Pitching. Of all the acquisitions Minnesota made in the offseason, watch out for Kenta Maeda. The SP, traded when Brusdar Graterol was sent to the Dodgers, is that low-key, quiet master who can hold his own while The Bomba Squad carries the Twins to easy victories. We'll see what happens 60+ Games from now, of course, but let's admit that this organization is on the success part of its life cycle. It's just a shame no fans can't attend.
The setting ratchets up in difficulty this week. The Twins head off on a long road trip. They're in Pittsburgh right now to finish a four-Game home-and-home with the Pirates, visit Kansas City for three over the weekend, then play the first two Games of an important three-Game series in Milwaukee versus The Bastard Seattle Pilots.
#-3: Wild (Last, Uh, Time -- OK, March 11: -1). So, for all the teams that were ninth to 12th playing in these Stanley Cup "Qualifiers," is it better to try and make an improbable run of winning five series to win the Cup, or just bitch out, get out of Canada, and take a 12.5% chance of winning the first overall pick in the NHL Draft? Don't know. For the Mild, who seemed to be on the upswing just before the "Pause" (I don't know how the word "pause" was used to describe the interruption to the NHL's season, but I have seen that used frequently for that league and for no other league), well, they're kind of stuck. I doubt they'll win the Cup, and there's little chance they'll get the first pick, so ... what do you do?
With that said, this is hockey, so in a series, even a best-of-five as these Qualies are, all the teams have a chip and a chance. And Minnesota "wrested home-ice advantage" in Edmonton by shutting out Vancouver (in a 7-10 matchup) in Game 1 before the Canucks fought back to take Game 2, 4-3. (That Game 2, BTW, was 4-1 until Kevin Fiala, God bless him, scored twice late in the Third Period.) I think I'll refrain from making conclusions about this series at least until it wraps up this upcoming week.
#0: United FC (Last Week: 0). Beyond everyone's wildest dreams? Sure. Games that count during these unprecedented times are so unprecedented that I don't know if we can put any reasoning into why any team plays or doesn't play well, nor do I think we can take away any lesson for a team's season once it's over. Some leagues are playing in a closed, hermetically-sealed environment in Florida. Others are trying to fight off this killer virus while plying their trade in front of nobody. Nobody's playing when they usually play, nor are playing as many Games as they normally do. And there is some future anxiety over how the next season is going to play out, or if it's going to play out. Shit, man, MLB and the NFL still might not finish this season.
So who knows why MNUFC are in the semifinals of the MLS Is Back Tournament? I could downplay the results of the run this side is on, especially if tentative plans to actually finish the season (via an abbreviated schedule that is conference play only but will be played in everyone's home pitches) actually gets off the ground, and I'm still not sure about that. What I do know is that the Loons still have San Jose's number, if the 4-1 Quarterfinal rout of the Earthquakes Saturday night is any indication. I do know that Robin Lod has started to shed his image as a bust with the opening Goal of that Match. I do believe that this franchise currently has the depth that helps Minnesota through the course of a single Game as well as a tournament and/or season.
I also know that when it comes to Games that count, the Loons are now the only team in Major League Soccer that remains undefeated. I also know that, even though you don't play Games on paper, they are a favorite to defeat putative hosts Orlando City SC in Thursday's Semifinal, also known as the Adrian Heath Derby. It would suck to be in a bubble this long only to go home without winning the trophy and the CONCACAF Champions League birth that goes along with it. But shoot, no one though United FC would get this far; why can't they go all the way and win this hastily-arranged tournament?
#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2). Impressive -- a 2-0 screening week by dint of a grind-it-out 83-81 victory over Chicago and another Second Half comeback to defeat Connecticut a second time already. It's a small sample size, but a team many predicted would be one of the WNBA's worst is a half-Game behind Seattle in the West and one of only four squads that have lost only once so far. The downside to this, however, is that the injury bug that bit the Jynx last season has returned to take another bite this year. Karima Christmas-Kelly, one of the club's captains whose season ended (her third consecutive) with a ruptured right Achilles tendon, was outright cut this past week. Lexie Brown sustained a concussion and is out for the time being. And fellow Guard Shenise Johnson is nursing a strained hamstring. No one thought Minnesota would get to 3-1, but this week's schedule gets busier and more challenging (the Sun is one of two squads that are still winless): New York (the other winless team) tonight/Wednesday night, Indiana Friday, Los Angeles Sunday, Washington (one of the other one-loss teams) Tuesday.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1). Record largely dictates the order of each week's WMNSS. Still, it seems unfair to slot into third place a squad that won six Games and lost only once during a screening week. The Twins are playing hella ball right now; their only blemish was a 2-0 loss Thursday to Cleveland, but the club took the other three Games. Plus, they took the back half of the two-Game set against St. Louis to start the week and pipped both ends of a two-Game half-series vs. Pittsburgh to end it. (All of these Games, by the way, were at home.) The bullpen has looked fantastic, but what is sticking out for me is the Starting Pitching. Of all the acquisitions Minnesota made in the offseason, watch out for Kenta Maeda. The SP, traded when Brusdar Graterol was sent to the Dodgers, is that low-key, quiet master who can hold his own while The Bomba Squad carries the Twins to easy victories. We'll see what happens 60+ Games from now, of course, but let's admit that this organization is on the success part of its life cycle. It's just a shame no fans can't attend.
The setting ratchets up in difficulty this week. The Twins head off on a long road trip. They're in Pittsburgh right now to finish a four-Game home-and-home with the Pirates, visit Kansas City for three over the weekend, then play the first two Games of an important three-Game series in Milwaukee versus The Bastard Seattle Pilots.
#-3: Wild (Last, Uh, Time -- OK, March 11: -1). So, for all the teams that were ninth to 12th playing in these Stanley Cup "Qualifiers," is it better to try and make an improbable run of winning five series to win the Cup, or just bitch out, get out of Canada, and take a 12.5% chance of winning the first overall pick in the NHL Draft? Don't know. For the Mild, who seemed to be on the upswing just before the "Pause" (I don't know how the word "pause" was used to describe the interruption to the NHL's season, but I have seen that used frequently for that league and for no other league), well, they're kind of stuck. I doubt they'll win the Cup, and there's little chance they'll get the first pick, so ... what do you do?
With that said, this is hockey, so in a series, even a best-of-five as these Qualies are, all the teams have a chip and a chance. And Minnesota "wrested home-ice advantage" in Edmonton by shutting out Vancouver (in a 7-10 matchup) in Game 1 before the Canucks fought back to take Game 2, 4-3. (That Game 2, BTW, was 4-1 until Kevin Fiala, God bless him, scored twice late in the Third Period.) I think I'll refrain from making conclusions about this series at least until it wraps up this upcoming week.
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
Still No Damn Answer ... But Is That What I Want?
I am supposed to be on this call for incoming students to alma mater tomorrow/Wednesday. I still need more information about it -- for example, what questions will the moderator ask me, and maybe more important, what's the fucking Zoom number so I can dial in at the right time? I asked for this information last week, but I haven't received an answer from the liaison who continues not to be on the ball every single time I need her.
So I am torn, because a part of me doesn't want to be a part of this call. Why? Well, there are two parts. One, I know that the questions will somehow be related to the influence my alma mater has had on my career. I don't have a career; I have a McJob. The degree I got ain't got shit to do with my job, and in fact I'm embarrassed to even try and find a link between my time in college and the job I have now. I'll have to fake my way into giving an answer, and I don't have a poker face, so I'm scared all I'll do is make me look like a chump to these students' eyes. The other part is I am still part of a breakaway faction still ticked off at things that are happening at the university. Helping them here without that favor being reciprocated makes me a fool, and I don't want to look like a fool anymore than I want to look like a chump.
Unfortunately, I still feel the need to fulfill my role as alumni club chair for this region, even though that position, and that club, have officially been put down. I still feel as though I need to hold on for this city. Moreover, not participating here may cause blowback once we get through this worldwide pandemic. I still want to organize events that I like to organize, and if I don't demonstrate to the powers-that-be that I was willing to participate in this Zoom, they might have the power to pass me over and undermine me whenever I do want to organize an event I'm passionate about in the future.
My future helping out my alma mater (and I have no idea how motivated I am to do that, to be honest) hinges on being on this call. Of course, I can't get on this call if I don't know where the hell it is. I thought about e-mailing this liaison one last time to see if I can pry that information out of her. But if I am not motivated that much to help ... well, should I ... not e-mail her?
So I am torn, because a part of me doesn't want to be a part of this call. Why? Well, there are two parts. One, I know that the questions will somehow be related to the influence my alma mater has had on my career. I don't have a career; I have a McJob. The degree I got ain't got shit to do with my job, and in fact I'm embarrassed to even try and find a link between my time in college and the job I have now. I'll have to fake my way into giving an answer, and I don't have a poker face, so I'm scared all I'll do is make me look like a chump to these students' eyes. The other part is I am still part of a breakaway faction still ticked off at things that are happening at the university. Helping them here without that favor being reciprocated makes me a fool, and I don't want to look like a fool anymore than I want to look like a chump.
Unfortunately, I still feel the need to fulfill my role as alumni club chair for this region, even though that position, and that club, have officially been put down. I still feel as though I need to hold on for this city. Moreover, not participating here may cause blowback once we get through this worldwide pandemic. I still want to organize events that I like to organize, and if I don't demonstrate to the powers-that-be that I was willing to participate in this Zoom, they might have the power to pass me over and undermine me whenever I do want to organize an event I'm passionate about in the future.
My future helping out my alma mater (and I have no idea how motivated I am to do that, to be honest) hinges on being on this call. Of course, I can't get on this call if I don't know where the hell it is. I thought about e-mailing this liaison one last time to see if I can pry that information out of her. But if I am not motivated that much to help ... well, should I ... not e-mail her?
Monday, August 3, 2020
Another Babe Has Shunned Me For My Eggplant Emojis
She didn't pipe up the first time I sent her one the first time ... like, ten weeks ago.
But she did when I did yesterday morning. Why are you sending this, I have to delete you, this is inappropriate, I am offended, I am over the eggplant emoji ... (wanking motion).
Hey, I thought she was cool with it, I really was. But dammit, if you keep showing your rock-hard abs and your belly button piercing whenever you're poolside or after you work out ... I mean, why can't I tell you I get aroused? Don't be fuckin' offended. In fact, you should take it as a compliment!
Man, I'm scared this is coming back on me. I think I need to try again to make a burner e-mail for Facebook so I can perv out while staying anonymous. Meanwhile I'm scared this woman is going to come after me, or have her man come after me.
Wish I could be a pervert in peace. But that ain't happenin'.
Maybe I should stop, but ... shit, man, stopping this shit that makes me happy ain't me. Right, Chris?
But she did when I did yesterday morning. Why are you sending this, I have to delete you, this is inappropriate, I am offended, I am over the eggplant emoji ... (wanking motion).
Hey, I thought she was cool with it, I really was. But dammit, if you keep showing your rock-hard abs and your belly button piercing whenever you're poolside or after you work out ... I mean, why can't I tell you I get aroused? Don't be fuckin' offended. In fact, you should take it as a compliment!
Man, I'm scared this is coming back on me. I think I need to try again to make a burner e-mail for Facebook so I can perv out while staying anonymous. Meanwhile I'm scared this woman is going to come after me, or have her man come after me.
Wish I could be a pervert in peace. But that ain't happenin'.
Maybe I should stop, but ... shit, man, stopping this shit that makes me happy ain't me. Right, Chris?
Sunday, August 2, 2020
Expenses Without Receipts
Starting from August 1:
- Well, I need to jump back to Friday, July 24, where I got my shoes shined from Lisa's. With tip: $15.
- Then on Sunday the 19th I went over to ****e's to get sucked and fucked by her. I chose that date partially because I wanted to see the last day of La Liga matches, in particular to see if Leganes or Celta Vigo would be the third team to be relegated. (Turned out both teams tied their final matches, and since Celta Vigo had one more Point than Leganes, the latter couldn't overcome and became that third relegated team.) La Liga is broadcast in the United States by beIN SPORTS. I know The Local has those channels, but they are closed for the time being, so I went to ****e's -- except that neither beIN SPORT channel was showing either Celta Vigo nor Leganes. No, they were whoring for the two big show ponies of the league, Real Madrid and Barcelona, even though the former had already won the league and the fate of both was already sealed before this Sunday. So I couldn't watch the two Games that mattered. And it didn't rally matter because both Games kicked off at 2 and I had to leave well before either match would be done. So anyway, I fucked her for: $120.
- I then went to Roseville because Mother wanted me to buy her some Salted Nut Rolls. I bought three each of the peanut, cashew and pecan. I then added some more bucks for tip -- hockey, according to the tip cup. Salted Nut Rolls are expensive, to the point Mother vowed to learn how to make her own because she's cheap like that. Total: $55.
- There was a line for the adjoining Cheese-On-A-Stick and Fresh Lemonade stand. Out of all the Minnesota State Fair vendors that have had to fend for themselves because the State Fair is canceled (or modified to a drive-thru only), I think these folks have made the most money. I moseyed over there just out of curiosity, and I saw that they were now offering lemon sorbets. And Sunday just happened to be National Ice Cream Day. I wanted to celebrate, but I knew waiting in line at Dairy Queen was going to be too long and frustrating. There was a line here, but the customers were going through it pretty fast. So I got me a lemon sorbet. With tip: $4.
- Back to Sunday the 12th, where I visited ******a to try and unlock her iPad one final time. Which didn't work; twice or thrice it gave me the "disabled, try again in an hour" message. But it gave me an excuse to get a massage from her. The pain deep in my left hip is still bothering me, and I went I told her, she was kind enough to start trying to uproot the knot down there. And once she started pushing into my left ass cheek, that's when it started to feel good -- well, the knot really was there, but she did touch my ass, and that's when I asked her if she minded trying to grind out that knot with my underwear off. ******a was willing to do so only after she put on some booties for her feet. So I was lying on the floor, blanket underneath me, and she was pounding and pounding away on the knot in my ass. And then she resorted to using her elbow and then, I think, her fingers. She's a good girl, and doesn't do extras. But she did do this, so maybe next time ... ? Cost: $40.
Saturday, August 1, 2020
Wanna Know How Fuckin' Freaked Out I Am About Work?
I went back to work last night just to check up on something. Fuckin' stupid of me.
OK, first of all, I didn't spit any attitude toward my supervisor yesterday morning when I went into work. It's not as if I slept any better, although I think I got, like, four hours of sleep due to reporting for work two hours later than I had to (I was filling in for someone). I just went up to her and told her I had to leave earlier than I would have (and, BTW, after looking at my timesheet online, I had to leave about 45 minutes earlier than I would have -- long fuckin' meeting). I just ... well, it didn't behoove me to pick a fight with her.
I didn't realize at the time that not picking a fight was the right thing to do. I forgot that, as unfair as some of accusations levied against me, there are many parts of the job I was doing that I did not know, and so I had to ask her to help me. It's a particularly grating part of my workday, needing help for something, not being able to hold my own. But I need to do my job, and it wouldn't have helped if I popped off to her only to come crawling back to her five minutes later to ask how the fuck do I do this.
And still I found the job/workday, at least on this day, overwhelming. For my particular shift, the very last thing my supervisor asked me to do was ... well, I'll be vague again ... there are some forms that were held back, in a way, because of ... something, but as soon as we get corrected information, we can send those forms into the lab so its specimens (usually piss samples) can finally get tested. I am to put these forms into a pile, print out a cover sheet, clip them all together, throw them into this plastic folder, then leave them in a dropbox just outside the lab. It's supposed to be the very last thing I do on this shift.
But ... well, sometimes I'm not a stickler for checklists. Also, I was mentally pre-occupied with getting out in time. In Thursday's meeting, my boss told me to leave because he was told by his bosses that no employee is to have overtime. I had to leave at a certain point, so I packed up my things, disinfected my area, and said goodbye ... and I threw that folder into that dropbox, like, some time in the chaos at the end of my day.
But, uh ... did I really drop off that folder? That thought struck my brain like a goddamn thunderbolt as soon as I was on the highway. And I couldn't shake the feeling that I, like, left it on the file cabinets I was working on, or on my hard drive, or on my chair, or somewhere besides the dropbox. It would be like me to do something as scatterbrained as that, doing everything except the last, the easiest and yet the most fundamental, step of actually giving the lab people these forms so they could run the tests. I imagined them bursting into the department, yelling at everybody there, "Where's the book?! Where in the hell is the damn book?!?!" and the people working second shift there getting all frightened and then getting frightened further because they couldn't find that book of forms either. Then my supervisor comes in the next morning and sees it in, like, the wastebasket somewhere, and she'll go, "Unforgivable Wetness, he fucked up again!"
Yesterday evening I couldn't shake the possibility I simply flat out forgot that part. So after dinner I decided that, some time in the evening (after night fell and after listening to the Major League Soccer Quarterfinal on satellite radio) that I would tell my parents that I had to dash back to work because I forgot to do something, get in my car, fucking drive back down there and check that dropbox to see if that damn yellow folder was there with the forms and that cover sheet in it, and if heaven forbid it isn't, I'd march back to my desk to retrieve it. I actually spent 75 minutes of my Friday evening out and about because of this, but I had to make sure.
For the record, when I came back into the building and peered at the dropbox, I didn't see anything. So I went to my desk -- and said hi to the filer who was working there -- to make sure I didn't leave it anywhere. I didn't see it, so if my gifted and talented lizard brain deduces correctly, if it ain't there, and if it ain't at the dropbox, the lab already took the forms and ran the urine samples. It can't be anywhere else. Well, there is the shelf above the monitors where I put my desk and hat ... and shit, I could've walked into the bathroom with it and left it there, and if I did I should just do the right thing and resign. ...
But assuming I did the right thing the first time, I wasted a chunk of my night just to make sure I did one simple step. I wasted gas, and I put more wear-and-tear on my car, and neither thing I had to do, turns out, if I just trusted that I did my job instead of second-guessed myself. I had to make a mini-night of it, so I decided I would eat Taco Bell before coming back home. You see, the fast food restaurant is removing some items in a couple weeks, and I'm sentimental, so I'm going to try and eat as many of these soon-to-be-put-down items before they're gone for good. My preferred TB location, connected to a gas station, was closed early because of, get this, a software upgrade. Just my fucking luck. I went to another gas station where gas was cheaper, so I decided to fill up almost all of my tank and get a pop, then went to another Taco Bell to order. Anyway, I spent 75 minutes last night out-and-about when I really didn't have to, all because I'm so scared I can't do my fucking job at work that I convinced myself that I didn't do one of the simplest tasks of my job.
Maybe I really need to find a new line of work.
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