Fell Asleep On The Road Today

My abrupt change in schedule to work two jobs and a huge event this week finally caught up to me. I thought finally being released from work would give me a new burst of energy that had been flagging the second half of the workweek, so I thought I could just go after I let the car warm up.

I was fine till I got close to home. There I felt my eyes sagging and my consciousness fading. Then, while I was about a mile from home ... I saw nothing. And then, possibly, because I don't know for sure, I opened my eyes wide open. I was driving 45 miles an hour on a stretch of road I normally drive at least ten miles faster on. I was driving straight, but the traffic that was dozens of yards behind me was catching up. Worst of all, I knew I had dozed off -- only for a second, but I dozed off.

It's the first time that has really happened to me, completely falling asleep. And I am deeply, deeply ashamed about that. I was so lucky I was only approaching a stoplight instead of at it, that I didn't swerve into a ditch, or that I was not caught up in traffic where I had to stop. Things could have gone so differently for me. I might not have been able to write this now. I could be somewhere else, somewhere more permanent.

I need the money, but certainly not in the face of this. With the possible exception of one day, maybe I should rest. Working like a mad hatter isn't worth this.