I think I am sick. There is a possibility that I simply ate too much, but I think I am sick.
I first got this feeling Wednesday afternoon, after coming back from my car to sleep during lunch. I don't know about you, but I can sense the beginnings of the first signs of the flu. You know when you start to feel these aches and pains and you go, "Uh-oh?" I do, at least, and that's how I felt the rest of my day at work. Eating pizza didn't alleviate things. And when I went to Caffetto and had a devil of a time drinking the small cup of coffee, I knew that my Christmas Eve -- where I had planned to get to work early, grab some cheesecake, and eat both at Hooters for lunch and with a friend for dinner -- may be rough.
But you know what? After going straight to bed after coming home, I thought the five hours of sleep did me really good. And the aches and pains were kept at bay while at work. So allowing my body to rest as the ... uh, inside parts of me had the space and time to fight the flu seemed to do the trick.
But then I went to Hooters. I had my typical huge-ass beer and wings and ... I barely could finish. I don't know if it was a sign that I was still ill, but I don't think I gorged myself on food on Wednesday, so that lead me to believe that I was sick.
Anyway, I did finish my meal, and all I felt was this huge gut in me. I have to do something about this gut. Anyway, to get my circulation going as well as to metabolize the alcohol, I short-circuited my plan on walking around Southdale (where I get my cheesecake, from the Cheesecake Factory) to walk around the Mall of America instead. That hour or so woke me up, but I don't know if it helped me lose weight or make me feel better.
I wanted to go to sleep, but I insisted on going through the ritual of driving to Southdale to get the cheesecake. I also wanted to hit the local store because, assuming I was going to feel better, I have another tradition of making spaghetti on Christmas Day, so I needed to buy ground beef there before it closed. Doing all that allowed me only an hour to sleep. I got 30 minutes, but I felt really refreshed and ache-free.
Dinner with my friend was in downtown Minneapolis. He had a deal where if we bought a beer we could get an entrée free. It was Christmas Eve, what else was I going to do? But my God, I had no appetite whatsoever. Barely finished my burger, and I ate one fry -- just one -- before realizing I couldn't eat any more. It took me two hours to finish my damn beer, for God's sake. That may be a sign that eating at Hooters was too much for me to eat another meal a mere six hours afterward. But I swear I've been able to do that before, which lends credence to the possibility that I am still sick.
I apologized to my friend. I drove him home, then went straight to bed, hoping to fall into a peaceful night's rest while listening to the Thursday Night Football game. (I had a plan on going to this Irish place around midnight to drink some Scotch, but by then I was too sore and tired to even contemplate that.) What happened next was about eight hours of the most uncomfortable rest I'll ever get.
I through up in my mouth around 12:30. The rest I got up until then did me no good. I was achy and dizzy, I still felt completely bloated from the two big meals I had that day, and now my esophagus felt like it was trying to push food out of my mouth. So I basically screwed whatever I did. I could get up and start doing something around the house, you know, just to work off some of this weight. (I did use this occasion to call Grandmother and wish her a Merry Christmas.) But I was too tired and light-headed to stand up and even lie up for long. However, they say that when you have acid indigestion/upset stomach/GERD the last thing you should do is lie down because that'll just irritate the esophagus even more.
Not knowing what to do, I decide to punish my throat and try to get some rest. But not before laying down a dirty towel right next to the bed just in case I did hurl. Is what I'm feeling nausea? I don't want to throw up, but ever since Hooters I've had this nauseous feeling, and they say that once you throw up you feel so good. I want to feel so good -- now. So I've had this, you know, kind of illicit desire to barf so my goddamn esophagus will finally stop bothering me.
I think I may have thrown up in my mouth once more, but no actual vomiting. What I did do was sleep until 3 in the afternoon, even though I did wake up from time to time. That leads me to believe that I really was sick and not just full. However, as I type this my esophagus still feels irritated and I have had no appetite. I've just been cleaning the leaves on my plants -- no Internet (well, besides this), no Christmas wishes (although I might do that on Facebook soon), no real enjoyment of the holiday season. After I get done cleaning the plants I'll take one more nap, and if it's early enough, that's when I'll make spaghetti. The ground beef isn't going to last forever.
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Merry Christmas. Oh, I need to give you a Christmas song. It feels so weird to do this six hours before Christmas officially ends. Hey, doesn't it seem like Christmas is already over? I should talk about that for my next post.
Anyway, I'll give you guys ... "The Little Drummer Boy," the most famous rendition performed by the Harry Simeone Chorale:
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