Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  Well, this is it, this is for all the marbles.  The volleyball program reached its fourth Final Four with relative ease in regionals last weekend in Des Moines, Ia.  They swept Big Ten rival Illinois, then took out traditional power Hawai'i in four.  What greased the skids for the club was that neither the Illini nor the Rainbow Wahine were seeded; Illinois beat #15 Louisville in the previous round, and Hawai'i took out #7 (and two-time defending NCAA champions) Penn St. in the other Sweet Sixteen game being played in Des Moines.  Stands to reason, then, that Minnesota would have an easier time of it than they could have.

Moreover, the #1 overall seed lost in the Elite Eight to, of all schools, Kansas.  Kansas, in the volleyball Final Four?!  (And it was excruciating how my alma mater lost that match.  The Jayhawks actually won the first two sets before they stormed back and won the next two sets and were up 13-9 in the fifth set.  But then Kansas ripped off the final six points to win the match.  How do you choke like that?)  So, the #2 Golden Gophers stand as the highest-remaining seed in the tournament, being held in Omaha, Neb. this weekend.  But the other three teams provide very stiff competition.  Kansas is seeded ninth.  They face in the other national semifinal 4-seed Nebraska, another traditional power which will also have the de facto home-court advantage.  But this (Thursday) evening, Minnesota will have to tangle with the #3 seed, Texas.  These two schools met in the national semifinals not too long ago, the last time, in fact, Minnesota reached the tourney's last weekend.  And behind Destiny Hooker, a player who could jump so high I swear her waist reached the top of the net, the Longhorns beat the living shit out of the U.  I don't think that's going to happen, but a win, though highly satisfying and possible, is far from an inevitability.

Like I said last week, I couldn't put this team in Positive Numbers for fear they would fall short of their goal (one that is tantalizingly, although tenuously, in its favor) and tumble all the way down to -Infinity.  But this is their shot.  On the bottom or on the top, the season ends this weekend.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -2).  This is the time of year (at least in recent seasons) where the Wild swoon.  You know the pattern: The squad starts out gangbusters, then they go on an extended losing streak in the doldrums of winter to the point where people question if Mike Yeo will still keep his job as Head Coach, then they turn it around in time to squeak into the postseason as a Wild Card team.  Well, I'm still trying to rid myself of that thought because, after going 2-1 this screening week, they are 5-2 for the month of December.  Unfortunately, they are still in the Wild Card 1 position.

I should have more to say, but I don't.  This week: Hosting Rangers tonight, then visit Nashville, then back-to-back games at the X against The Team That Was Stolen From Us and Montreal.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Them losing at Michigan 8-3 Friday was an utter disgrace, but they rebounded to beat the Wolverines Saturday, and so they finish 2015 in first place in the Big Ten.  That should be kind of dubious, especially considering how deficient this team still is.  One point this year I'll go deeper into how the belief that The Great College Hockey Realignment will result in the B1G being the one true power has been tossed aside (at least as it starts its third year), and that how I, in my small way, predicted that this Brave New World blew up in the major conference's face, but I have other things I need to do now.  Next up: The 25th Annual Mariucci Classic, New Year's Day, where they will face Connecticut.  Harvard faces Ferris St. in the first game, and I plan on being there for both.

#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  A little extra space for a weird neutral-site game the Goofers played Saturday night.  Minnesota played Oklahoma St. in ... no, not Hawai'i, not Puerto Rico, not the Bahamas, and not even Atlantis.  No, the U. faced the Cowboys Saturday in, of all places, Sioux Falls, S.D.  I haven't looked into why; I am just dazzled that such a game happened in a (no offense) nowhere town like Sioux Falls, S.D.  At any rate, Minnesota lost, 62-60, even though they held the halftime lead, 30-28.  They came back to beat Chicago St. last (Wednesday) night, 70-52, but hey, that game was at Williams, and hey, it's Chicago St.  They play their final game of the non-conference season Wednesday at home versus Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  Honestly, I thought this team would be a lot better than they are now.  I wasn't sure they'd be a tournament team like they were last year, especially since Amanda Zahui B. turned pro, but I really did think that they would win all their non-conference home games, which they did Saturday against Memphis.  But they inexplicably got crushed at The Barn Wednesday by New Mexico, 72-53.  Rachel Banham poured in 22, but she probably had to because no one else was able to score.  That might be the story of this year's team.  They finish their five-game homestand this week with tilts against North Dakota and the New Jersey Institute of Technology.

#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -5).  I believe that there are many people who would chalk up last Thursday's defeat to The Bastard Chicago-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals as a moral victory.  In my opinion, however, I think this was the most frustrating loss of their year.  And I am basing that on the very same set of circumstances those who are looking on the bright side are basing their optimism on.

Yes, they 1) were playing without four starters on defense 2) on the road 3) against a very good team that 4) can run up the score 5) on a short week 6) after a demoralizing ass-kicking at home to Seattle.  Against those disadvantages, that the Vikes only lost 23-20 would seem to be as close to a dream scenario as you can get without them winning.  But that's my hang-up: They had all those things going against them and still had a chance to win, and they absolutely blew it.  And that's what makes this so goddamn frustrating.

It was that final offensive play, that strip-sack of Teddy Bridgewater that prevented them from even kicking a Field Goal in the final seconds of regulation to force Overtime, that the game came down to, even though the tattered defense did a hell of a job taming the Cardinals offense.  They were in field goal range, and even though in retrospect kicking an FG before that play obviously would have been the better choice, the Vikings had 15 seconds, and you always use that to get closer or, possibly, get a Touchdown.  Not settling for a Field Goal was a no-brainer.  So, who to blame, then?  You could spread it around to a bunch of people: Offensive Coordinator Norv Turner, for calling such a slow-developing play; Left Tackle Matt Kalil, who, according to a writer on MMQB, fucked up because his feet were all over the place in trying to block the defender who ultimately got to Bridgewater (Kalil has come back from the injury that plagued him all last season, yet it looks as though his play still has been substandard); Bridgewater, for not learning the lesson when Denver strip-sacked him late in a close game, sealing that defeat after staying so close in a game many thought they would be blown out and not throwing the ball away; and Head Coach Mike Zimmer because, hey, the buck stops with him.

One of the reasons such a blown opportunity doesn't relegate this team down in the bottom of this survey is that they still are two wins clear of any other Wild Card team.  Unfortunately, I don't know if the road gets any easier for them.  This Sunday they host Chicago, a team whose faint playoff hopes probably were dashed last week against Washington, but they still are a team that seems to have gotten its groove on, at least when they have the ball.  I don't think this game is a gimme, and if the ViQueens lose, and one of those WC teams behind them win, all bets are off.

#-6: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  Ladies and gentleman, we have reached a new low with this program.  Never did I think that a team, about a decade removed from an NCAA title, would suck so badly, so loudly, that they would lose to a conference school they have, in my memory, never lost to -- let alone at home.  But such was the case Friday, where they were defeated by wrestling also-ran Indiana -- Indiana!!! -- at the Sports Pavilion.  It was a case where they lost by tie-breaker, and by the fourth tie-breaker at that.  But they never should have been in a position where it would remotely come to that point.  But the Hoosiers tied the Goofers with matches won (five apiece) and falls (one apiece).  That meant that they had to add up all the points each individual accrued in their matches (leaving out the two winners who felled his opponent; there are no points given in falls, they just give six points to the school), and Indiana beat Minnesota in that regard, 55-52.

That's just fucking unbelievable, and really, unacceptable, too.  This remains a squad that should have plenty of clout to reload (even if it remains clear they are nowhere near an NCAA title contender), yet they are undergoing a puzzling and inexplicable breakdown this year.  I'm not sure if this is intentional, but if it's not, J Robinson has a lot of questions to answer.

They are off until the New Year, when they go to the Southern Scuffle, held every New Year's in Chattanooga, Tenn.  That's a nice tradition.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  This may mark a turning point in the season for the listless Woofie Dogs.  They lost all four games this screening week, even though they were competitive -- margins of 3 (in OT), 7, 12 and 5.  OK, so maybe that 12-point loss, to Denver, at home, wasn't so great.  Sam Mitchell didn't think it was so great, either, and after that game he vowed to make wholesale changes.  But what can you do?  You have a hell of a lot of talent (Wiggins, Towns, LaVine, Dieng, Muhammad), they just need to gel.  The trick is in figuring out which pieces best go where.  Will the Head Coach solve that?  Will the players?  Hopefully they'll do it soon; this team has too much talent to suck this long and often.

This week: Home to Sacramento, back-to-backs vs. Brooklyn and Boston over the weekend, then home to San Antonio.

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