Failing To Preserve A Masterpiece

So 2015 is the Minneapolis Institute of Art's 100-year anniversary.  As part of the year-long festivities, they had several surprises up its sleeve which they sprinkled over the year.

In my opinion, the best of these surprises were three "residencies" of masterpieces around the world, the identities of each kept secret until it was displayed for the first time.  After several weeks, they were gone, presumably whisked back to their home museum.  I like to think the local museum's collection is robust, yet I still feel as though the major works of art in the Western canon all belong somewhere else, whether it be New York, London, or continental Europe, so I think we've been graced with greatness from God when I heard of the three paintings that MIA (or "Mia," in its new and lame branding scheme) borrowed for the year.

Didn't matter that I was unfamiliar with all three paintings.  I was familiar with the painters, and that was more than enough for me to stop by and gaze at them for a few minutes.  The three "Mystery Masterpieces" were:

1. "Woman Reading a Letter," by Johannes Vermeer, courtesy of the Rijksmuseum, of Amsterdam;
2. "Madonna of the Pinks," by Raphael, courtesy of the National Gallery, of London; and
3. "Irises," by Vincent van Gogh, courtesy of the Van Gogh Museum, also of Amsterdam.

And I wanted so bad to preserve the memory that these masterpieces were so kind enough to stop by our little town that I took my camera with me so I could enter this special showcase room on the first floor and take a picture.  I learned when I took Advanced Placement Art History to not do that because it damages the painting and it's uncouth.  But as an adult I basically said fuck that, because I want to say that I saw great works of art, and one way to prove that I did to no one in particular is to snap a photo.

What I forgot is that it photography may not be allowed.  These painting are not Mia's, so they just can't allow people to whip out their phones and take as many snaps as they want.  That did not occur to me when I was able to capture the Vermeer, and I wasn't being surreptitious about it.  In fact, I think I took a photo of that with people surrounding me.

I got warned the second time, with the Raphael.  But I think it was a case where the docent said, "Sir?  Sir??" and I made sure I got the photo before I turned my attention towards her, as if I didn't hear her until after I took the photo.  She didn't confiscate my smartphone, but she did make sure I knew such photo-taking was frowned upon.

So I was on notice, and on my toes, for the van Gogh.  But I wanted to get a photo of that.  Hell, I had to get a photo of that, because I got a photo of the other two "Mystery Masterpieces."  Without a picture of "Irises," my collection is incomplete.  I have to commemorate that these three paintings were hung at MIA.

So, what to do?  Well, when I went to the museum, I wanted to see if the security guard who was posted in the room where these works of art were displayed was being lax.  He or she never was, so I didn't dare earn their ire by taking a picture.

My strategy, then, was to go in there as much as possible and hope that the guard is other preoccupied or absent, and then I would quickly snap a photo and be done with it.  I was going to do that, I thought to myself, as soon as I had time.  I was busy that weekend, and the next, but after that, yeah, I'll implement my plan.

What I didn't plan on was figuring out at what date would "Irises" be gone.  I didn't think of looking it up on the museum's website, especially after I started this new job.  So, a few weeks ago, as football season was winding down, I thought about this plan and whether or not the van Gogh was even there.  That's when I finally looked up the date of the painting's residence and, sure enough, it was whisked out of Mia in early October.

So now I feel like such a stupid idiot for not even trying to take a photo of it.  I was plenty busy, but I could have broken away from watching football for a couple hours, just so I could drive down to the museum and see if I could capture a pic.  But I didn't, because I was lazy and didn't keep my eye on the ball, or stick to my plan.  So now I have two of the three "Mystery Masterpieces" on my smartphone camera, but not all three.  Therefore, it feels woefully incomplete, like missing the thumb of your hand.