For a perv like myself, I should be all over this shit faster -- like, January 1, 2016. Alas, the thought that I should give my thoughts on who Playboy's Playmate Of The Year for The Very Last Year They're Showing Naked Models was only a distraction zooming in front of me at a million miles per hour, and after that I forgot.
And then I got tipped through a post from a Playmate I am Facebook friends with that the magazine had already picked their PMOY: Eugena Washington, Miss December 2015 and the third-place winner in America's Next Top Model 7. I looked through the June 2016 edition of Playboy in May. And I think I looked through it at my local Barnes & Noble, because again, there ain't no naked ladies in there anymore, so I can. That is traditionally the edition where the Playmate Of The Year is given a pictorial. This time, of course, is different because the PMOY spread is fully clothed, naked ass excepted. That seems so weird to me -- you display your tits and pussy, and six months later you're clothed? Never in Playboy.
As for Washington herself ... eh. I don't remember her in ANTM7, I saw her naked spread online, and she's, well, thin, but that's it. She's not disgusting by any means. But I have some thoughts about which of the dozen Playmates from last year should be PMOY instead of her.
I can easily begin by eliminating some. Frankly, all of the dozen girls who posed are hot, so I'm using the tie-breaker of social media -- that is, am I friends with them on Facebook and, very recently, Instagram? I do not see Alexandra Tyler (April), Brittany Brousseau (May), Kaylia Cassandra (June) or, frankly, Washington (December), so they're out.
My recollections get fuzzy from here on out. I may have seen pictures from Brittny Ward (January), Kayla Rae Reid (July), Dominique Jane (August) and Ana Cheri (October), but I don't remember for sure, so I'll just eliminate them now. From there, there's Kayslee Collins (February), who actually was a child actor and is now branching off into music. I remember her because she posted a video on Facebook about getting naked. She's really into erotica, which I like. But I haven't seen her since.
Two others are close, but they are tied. Chelsie Aryn (March) is on Facebook, and I remember seeing several photos of her in her personal life, including one where she was posing with a soldier and a friend of her brother's who had come home from his tour of duty. I appreciate a Playmate who allows her fans into her life like that. But, unfortunately, she's on the chubby side. In the meantime, there's Monica Sims (September), who I'm reasonably certain I'm Instagram friends with. She's blonde and therefore hot, and I'm pretty sure I've seen her in a bikini showing off her ass. But because I'm not totally sure, and because I am not friends with her on Facebook, she, like Chelsie, comes up short.
That leaves one, and I think she's so hot that I totally have thrown away my standards in naming here PMOY. It's Rachel Harris, Miss November. She's hot and blonde, and most of her shots in her spread are those peek-a-boo shots which exposes her girl parts in implied states of undress, which makes me hot in particular. (I think there are a couple shots where she's unzipped her jeans to expose her pussy because she's not wearing any underwear.) The thing is, I'm pretty sure she's not a model at all. She's an artist by trade; the story accompanying her pictorial says that she had an exhibition in her native Los Angeles in late 2015. That makes me think she only did this for the publicity. But you know what? She's so fucking beautiful, I don't care. And I guess I don't care that I'm not on her Facebook or Instagram, or if she's even on social media. That makes me a hypocrite, and I'm OK with that.
So there you go, Ms. Harris, Miss November 2015. You are my pick for what will be the last real Playboy Playmate Of The Year. Use your title wisely!
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