Friday, October 1, 2010

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!). Oh, shit, did I fucking forget to put the motherfucking Vikings in last week's WMNSS?!?!?! I did!!! Oh, goddamn me, how could I be so stupid???

Well, it's too late for me to change last week's survey, but I have to account for the Week 2 upset loss to the Miami Dolphins. And even with that ... they top this week's survey. See, I need to account for the defeat, because it has to be accounted for somewhere, but if I was on the ball, that would've meant I put them on the bottom of last week's WMNSS, so while I need to account for it, I need to give the Vikes some slack. So that, coupled with their win last week over Detroit, gives this team the best CV out of all the teams for the week.

Brett Favre still isn't connecting with his receivers; that wide-open end zone bomb to Percy Harvin was far in front of him, and Harvin had to leap for it. Plus, he had three interceptions in the game, mostly because the Lions' front four were able to get to him before he threw. That shit won't be so shakable against a better team. But Adrian Peterson looked good, and the defense remains solid-looking.

They have a bye this weekend. Hopefully I won't forget to put the Vikings back on the WMNSS two weeks from now and hit myself on the head three weeks from now.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). Figuring out who's second is extremely difficult. All the teams this week struggled with bad losses, but who's was better, and are there any wins to make up for that?

I decided to put the volleyballers in second. They split on the road in Michigan, sweeping a mismatched Michigan St. team but losing in Michigan to a Wolverines team ranked lower than the Gophers. In a very dispiriting sign, they now have lost two out of their last three. What's worse, their two losses came after they had won the first two sets. Clutch issues, eh?

At least Ashley Wittman won the Big Ten Freshman Of The Week award (her third in the five weeks of the season). Unfortunately the Gophs continue their downward slide in the AVCA Top 25. I remember being disappointed in the ladies this time last year too (although I don't remember the squad choking two 2-0 leads), and they went all the way to the Final Four. Can they turn their fortunes around playing both Indiana schools at home this weekend and a date at perennial doormat Iowa on Wednesday?

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). Why did I put the footballers below the volleyballers this week? Hard to make a distinction, but unlike the volleyball team, these guys played at home. Plus, even though they beat a ranked Illinois team Sunday (albeit a lower rank than Minnesota) 1-0, on Thursday (last) night they were upset, by the same 1-0 score, to an unranked Wisconsin team. That loss, that inexplicable loss, was the deciding factor. But hey, on the bright side, MacKenzie Misel won Big Ten Freshman Of The Week.

They are off this entire week. Shit, you think I'll forget to add back the soccer team like I did, and think I'll do again, to the Vikes?

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -1). They say that momentum doesn't matter. Nor does home-field advantage, of which the Twins are still a game behind the Tampa Bay Rays for as of tonight. But goddamn this team is shuffling at the worst possible moment, aren't they? They went 1-6 for the week, including losing five in a row, including getting swept at Detroit over the weekend.

I've checked most of the box scores to see if Ron Gardenhire is resting any of the regulars. But the only members of the regular starting lineup not to see much time at-bat (actually no time, really) are Joe Mauer, Jim Thome, and J.J. Hardy. Important bats all, but even with those guys out, the rest of them -- Cuddyer, Young, Kubel, Span, Valencia, all of them -- should provide enough offense to at least split the week. That they didn't seems to be a discouraging sign. To me, there's always been one team per postseason that's lost the first two games of their Division Series at home. That sounds like the Twinks this year.

They finish the regular season this weekend hosting three more games against Toronto. They then begin the playoffs at Target Field versus either the Bay Rays or the New York Yankees. They could be in that shitty 2-0 hole going out east by this time next week.

#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -4). What can you say? I initially thought, "Well, it's Northern Illinois, a second-division school ... they have to win ... oh, wait ... they lost to a second-division school already." And then I remembered that NIU is a top-flight school, albeit in the non-BCS Mid-American Conference. It is the alma mater of current Atlanta Falcon Michael "The Burner" Turner, though.

And the Huskies burned the Gophers, 34-23, marking the second straight game where they've lost by 11. They are now 1-3 going into conference play; the Homecoming Game is this Saturday against Northwestern, and rightly, the Wildcats are favored. Looking ahead, they probably won't be favored in any of their remaining games. The two easiest opponents, Purdue and Illinois, will be on the road. It is possible that the Gophs finish -- gulp -- 1-11. And if that's the case, Tim Brewster's done for. Shit, he may be a dead man walking right now.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5). Normally I don't rank teams in the middle of their exhibition season, but I have to make an exception here. After losing in their first preseason game, the first non-sellout in the history of the franchise, they proceeded to drop every single fucking game they played this week, all five of them. They finish the North American portion of their warmup season 0-6. You may say it doesn't matter, but I'll paraphrase from a thought I read on the Star Tribune: Head Coach Todd Richards is starting the men he's starting for real, going into his lines and rotations as if these are real games, and yet they're still losing. This does not bode well for the future of the Wild.

They're in Finland right now, adjusting to the time difference. They play some club team of the city of Tampere in the country Monday, then begin the 2010-1 NHL season in Helsinki Thursday against the Bastard Hartford Whalers.

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