#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!). This team comes back to the WMNSS in a customery positions: At the top. They begin their season whitewashing Clarkson at Clarkson (which is in Potsdam, N.Y., by the way) by a combined two-game score of 8-0.
Ho-hum. We've been through this before; a loaded program stocked with talent runs roughshod over the competition, but when it comes to the elite teams in the tournament, this squad repeatedly folds and falls short of the title. This is how we're starting to feel about the Twins (more on them later). Call me when they get to the Frozen Four Final.
What isn't so ho-hum: Forward Amanda Kessel was named this week's Western Collegiate Hockey Association's Rookie Of The Week for tallying three goals and three assists in that sweep of the Golden Knights. This week they play an exhibition against the local women's hockey team, then play an actual game against Wayne St. at home Saturday afternoon.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). This team and the women's hockey team are interchangeable. These guys went 3-0 for the week; I put the them second only because they dropped a set to Purdue, while the distaff rink rats completely kept Clarkson from lighting the lamp.
The accolades continue to roll in for female Gophers playing in the non-revenue sports (wait a second ... all women's college sports are non-revenue sports); for the second time this year, libero Jessica Granquist was Big Ten Defensive Player Of The Week.
I just noticed that the schedule seems to pair Iowa and Northwestern together, but they don't play both matches on the weekend. So the 16th-ranked Gophs follow up their Wednesday road game at the Hawkeyes with a road game against the Wildcats Sunday afternoon, their only game of the week. No matter; it's an easy win.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -1). Now that's a way to keep yourself relevant on your bye week. In a move that now seems so obvious to miss, the Vikes shocked NFL Nation by reacquiring Randy Moss from New England. Dude, fuckin' Randy Moss, arguably still the best Wide Receiver in the league!
First of all, the Twins must be pissed over not the signing but the timing of it. From Tuesday night all the way through Wednesday, the day of the game, the Vikings dominated the news cycle. It was unfair, although, in the wake of the fucking mess they made on themselves, it now looks like the right thing. I'd like to see if there's going to be any friction between the two organizations.
On the field, the Vikings now have no excuses. Have you seen movie scenes of players playing poker, and one guy is so cocky he'll win his hand he not only pushes all his chips in, but throws in his car keys and the deed to his house? That's what the Vikes did. And they had to.
Brett Favre now has no excuse. He's been acting petulant all season because he can't just throw a ball downfield for his boy to get it without worrying about things such as coverage and accuracy. He needed to compromise with the corps he had. Instead, I really do think Favre said something to Head Coach Brad Childress about wanting to get this guy, and since you need to keep him happy, they did. That they only gave up a third-rounder for sure to get him is, well, it could be a coup.
If he's half the man he was when he started his career here, he should be a game-changer. Even when he doesn't catch passes he'll get coverage, which should mean more space on the underneath for Visanthe Shiancoe and the other receivers, and some room for Adrian Peterson and the offensive line to move. And if they ever get receiver Sidney Rice back -- the prognosis of which took a surprisingly bad turn; he might not be back halfway through the season -- watch out.
Randy Moss is a damn knucklehead, but he'll be fine this year. He whined enough to get what he wanted, so he'll shut up for the year. If he wants to win, he knows this is his best situation. Besides, who cares about whether he'll be back next year? The team's going to be broken up next year, let him go.
One other observation: Zygi Wilf is doing what we complained the Pohlads not doing up until this year. Ironically, it's Major League Baseball where spending works, not the National Football League. The New Orleans Saints won while staying under the cap. And if the Twins sacrificed what they needed to get Cliff Lee, I would feel a hell of a lot better that the Twins would win this series against New York. Nevertheless, Wilf is getting a lot of good pub for this move, espcially in the wake of the Twins' shittin' their pants. Maybe they'll get that new stadium after all.
Then again, I've heard few people bring up the fact the Vikes choke just as much as the Twins do.
#-4: Gopher fooball (Last Week: -5). Well, at least they gave it a go. I really thought they were going to get blown out by Northwestern, so I guess it's, um, OK, that the Wildcats kicked a late field goal to win the Homecoming game, 29-28.
However, take a step back: Head Coach Tim Brewster scheduled four straight home game early in the season in an effort to build some momentum and goodwill. They lost all four games. They include a wounded dynasty (USC), a bottom-tier Big 10 team (Northwestern), a supposed-to-be Mid-American Conference patsy (Northern Illinois), and a second-division program (South Dakota). Losses all. The Gophs are staring at 1-11. Brewster's staring at unemployment.
They head to Wisconsin this weekend. The line right now is 22. I actually think they'll cover it. But they won't win.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -6). In the wake of Moss and the Twins, I think Minnesota fans forgot the Wild actually began their season -- and in fact the NHL regular season -- yesterday afternoon in Helsinki. And guess what? They lost too!!!
Bastard Hartford Whalers beat them, 4-3. Typical of many of their losses last season, they scored and took a lead, only to take a dumb penalty minutes afterward and cough up a goal and that lead. They played this (Friday) afternoon as well, and in a game that just ended, they lost to Carolina again, in a shootout, 2-1.
Just to let y'all know: Including exhibitions, the only team the Wild have beaten ... was some club team in Finland. They have about a week to get rid of their jetlag before playing Edmonton in their home opener Thursday.
Look, it's bad so far this year for the Wild. At least their season is just starting; there will be many occasions for this franchise to wind up in the bottom of the survey. Unlike a team whose season is winding down, like the ...
#-Infinity: Twins (Last Week: -4). Embarassing. Pathetic. Heartless. Gutless. Some of the adjectives I've read in the couple message boards I've read and radio shows I've listened to.
Cannot and will not dwell on this shit mess. I'll just relay some stats: Eleven playoff losses in a row. Eleven straight playoff losses at home. Eleven straight playoff losses to the Yankees. Seven straight playoff losses in a row to the Yankees at home. Fuck you, Twins.
That's why, for the first time in the illustrious (one-plus year) history of the WMNSS, I am putting the team #-Infinity before their season is over. Because this season, a season where the franchise promised a world title because we built and gave this fucking team the ballpark they've been bitching for for 15 years, only to see the Twins piss down their goddamn legs in the face of the Yankees yet fucking again, is just about over.
Fuck you, Twins. Fuck you in the asses.
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