(Before I begin this WMNSS, I have to take the unprecedented step and write a foreword to it. It's necessary because there has been unprecedented failure with the University of Minnesota this screening week. Because of it, I believe I need to make a point. Therefore, not only are both pro teams elevated to the top by virtue of, you know, winning, I am lifting them out of negative numbers, even though both the Vikings and the Wild have massive problems now and in the near future.
Just for one week, the problems with the athletic department at the U. has to be highlighted the best way I know now. Yes, this is a message to Athletic Director Joel Maturi. No, all the losses this week should not be seen as reason to fire him. But it is a sympton, a confirmation that things are continuing a downward slide, and at some point, Maturi will, and should, be held responsible.)
Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: -7). Despite Donggate and the fact that the offense is still not the high-powered engine it needs to be in order for the team to win the Super Bowl, they did manage to win their only game this screening week, over the surprisingly 1-4 Dallas Cowboys, on Sunday to finish on top of this week's WMNSS. Moreover, shockingly, people project a lot of upside to this club, especially since all three NFC North opponents lost last week.
That's dangerous to believe -- I attribute the fans' optimism to the fact that they need to be optimistic about something, especially after the Twins -- but there is some compelling evidence: the Bears have an offense just as the shitty as the Vikes', and they don't have Randy Moss now and Sidney Rice coming back, and the Packers, whom the Vikings play in the Sunday night game, are as riddled with injuries as an team in the NFL. Even though it is on the road, this game is for the taking, and if they make it to 3-3, all of a sudden their early-season struggles (again, Donggate excluded) are a thing of the past.
#0: Wild (Last Week: -3). They go 2-1 for the week, and the one loss may be the reason for the two wins. The morning after the 3-2 home loss to Columbus Saturday, Head Coach Todd Richards put the team through what I guess is called a "bag skate," basically making the players skate around until their lungs burn, and then skate them a lot more. (I just heard on The Common Man Progrum that the reason it's called a "bag skate" is that you practice without pucks -- the pucks remain in the bag.)
Well, that version of corporeal punishment worked, because they won their next two games. Maybe Vancouver Canuck players sympathized with their counterparts because they laid down to the Wild Tuesday night at the X, 6-2. Well, maybe Rick Rypien gave a damn, judging by how he shoved a fan on his way back to his locker serving a penalty. And then they beat Edmonton at Edmonton last (Thursday) night, 4-2. Who knows if this will hold up; they have at Vancouver in a back-to-back tonight (Friday night), then host vastly improved Los Angeles Monday and Aleksandr Ovechkin and Washington Thursday. But if this team is ever going to improve, and if they do, this will have to be seen as the turning point, no?
(OK, y'all ready for the carnage? Here we go. ...)
#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -6). Yes. The team that fired their coach over the weekend is better than all the other U. teams this week. Why? Two reasons. One, they only lost once. Two, by shitcanning Tim Brewster, the program can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. OK, so they might go 1-11 the rest of the year. They won't have Coach Brew leading this team anymore!
So Interim Coach Jeff Horton is playing with house money. And his first game is this Saturday morning, at the Bank, against a wounded and somewhat listing Penn St. program. They could win this game. I will be there with my friend watching to see if the team responds better this week, thereby cementing the feeling that the failures of this squad were Brewster's fault.
#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). Lost at Penn St. and then at a ranked Ohio St. team in OT. They are second amongst all U. squads because their losses were on the road and tighter. They have now lost three out of their last five and stand 2-3-1 in the Big Ten.
What I thought was a golden chance to take the conference now becomes a fight to make the NCAA Tournament. They have their final home games of the year this week: vs. Michigan tonight (Friday night), a game I''m planning on going to, then vs. Michigan St. Sunday afternoon.
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). Another double loss, also at the eastern edge of the conference. I understand losing at Penn St., even if they did clip a set off the Lady Lions, because they're still good. But getting swept at unranked Ohio St. is, well, unacceptable. Now, Middle Blocker Lauren Gibbemeyer was out for the past dozen games until these two games because of a bad wrist, and don't forget Outside Hitter Hailey Cowles is out for the year. But you don't lose to an unranked Ohio St., let alone in three goddamn sets.
Even last year's squad, which was shuffling all year before turning it on and getting to the Final Four, didn't do this. Their only salve is that they have a four-game homestand. Unfortunately, their first game, tonight (Friday night), is against Illinois, which is currently ranked sixth in the nation and has displaced Penn St. as the top team in the Big Ten. They also host Wisconsin, but this one is their annual Williams Arena game, where tickets are a buck and all proceeds benefit breast cancer charities.
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). OK, I've accepted the fact that the image of U. women's hockey doesn't match the reality, which is they are permanent bridesmaids to UMD.
However, I didn't think they'd sink to new depths by getting swept, at Ridder, to North Dakota. No, this is not the men's team. This is the women's team and a program that has not achieved the success in women's hockey that the Gophs or the Bulldogs have. They should have beat this team, even if they were ranked in the USCHO.com Top Ten. Now, the Fighting Sioux is ranked ahead of Minnesota.
This weekend the team go up 94 and play a pair at St. Cloud St. It's an unranked team; will they win?
#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Basing it on just the results last week, you can make an argument that the male hockeyers shouldn't be at the bottom. Plus, there's a malaise with this program, an expectation that they will not drop a game or two at home.
But to get swept against Nebraska-Omaha, a team that is playing its first-ever series as a member of the Western Collegiate Hockey Conference after jumping from the CCHA, a team that has existed in Division I for only 13 years, a team whose initials spell out a children's fucking card game, UNO, at Williams Arena ... well, Don Lucia has to be on notice now. Whatever pull he had when winning those titles earlier this millenium is completely gone now that you lose to the ... what are they called, the Mavericks? How the fuck do you lose to UNO?
Maturi already is facing heat for being entrusted to hire another football coach; I'm developing a rule where an Athletic Director gets to fire and hire only one person per sport before being moved out. With football going through another rebuilding phase, men's hockey now has to be the program Maturi, or more able people than Maturi, have to concentrate on.
This weekend they host St. Cloud St., which is 14th in the USCHO.com Top 20; the Goofs are 20th. Hey, maybe they won't think their name will carry them past another supposed inferior school like they did last week!
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