Two things that make me feel this way. The first happened basically the first thing in the morning. I was told by my boss a couple days ago that when we see this, we it's OK. She wasn't in first thing this morning, but her employees -- us -- were there, and so we said that ... but just in case we'll run it by her anyway because this ruling seems, on its face, to be absurd. And apparently it was; as soon as my boss came in and my co-worker asked her about it, she basically said, "Well of course it's not good!" And I feel like I was hung out to dry because I stood up in front of the entire room to stop and correct my co-worker. Mind you, hung out to dry by my boss, whom I swear told me that this mistake was acceptable for a point. This has happened from time to time in the project, but this is the first time I laid myself out there. And I feel very burned that she either changed her mind or totally forgot what she told me.
During my second job, the one at night (and, by the way, the one that's now done as of Friday), I was thinking how pissed off I was -- at her, my job and the job she's doing -- and at least patting myself on the back for anticipating this bad turn in my new job. But then I realized her changing her mind without telling me is a separate thing from what really pissed me off: The time this afternoon when, after I repeated what I thought she told the room, said, "That's what I said."
You should have been there. It was the tone that set me off inside me. But seeing this up-close now, her ... well, I'll say it, her weaknesses when imparting information with the room, in particular trying to shut down repeated questioning from scorers when it's clear they're not understanding her commands is glaring. She has a job that needs to get done under deadline, so at some point she will shut down queries when she believes it's slowing down the project. But she is very gruff, even buffoonishly so, when doing that. She also has this way of trying to answer questions by citing the examples she's given all of us, and that's useless, because we haven't been paid to memorize all these examples and where the fuck they are, so we (readers as well as us) are going to continue asking her. She reacts to this in an arrogant way; she really is astonished that we have not remembered where these examples are. And yet she insists upon them, and therefore we are speaking to each other in different languages.
And then there's this snide and defensive "That's what I said" comment, which, frankly, wanted me to throw my laptop at her and walk out the door. (Mental note: Tape on my workstation a receipt of the car repair bill I'm going to get tomorrow. That'll remind me to walk the line.) And to her "credit," she's nice to me other parts of the day, especially as we get closer to the end of it. Yet I don't like people who are not nice and then nice. Those people are two-faced and bait-and-switch their emotions depending on the circumstances of work. Hey, maybe she doesn't mean what she says and how she says it. Many people do. But I don't understand why people don't at least understand that they don't have to become another person under stress. Shit, I'd rather have someone be an asshole all day, even when they should be happy. That way they're at least consistent. Much better than being happy or mad depending on where the wind blows.
(Have I blogged about this before?)
I have to remember that I'm about to rack up two grand on my credit card bill later this morning. And that I have only four more weeks of hardcore work.
No comments:
Post a Comment