A Receipt From February

So this morning I woke up around 9:30, having everything to do and yet nothing to do, you know?  It was raining steadily outside, thereby giving me (and everybody in the area, probably) an excuse to stay in bed and try to sleep again.  I tried that for an hour, then remembered that I had planned to do stuff.  But first, I was going to masturbate.

I've thought about all the ass I've seen.  I'm facebook friends with a lot of models, and I've noticed that many of their non-pornographic pictures they post on my News Feed show sizable portions, if not all, of their butt cheeks.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  But I usually see that much ass in porn pictorials or videos, not in swimsuit or modeling pictures that anyone can see anywhere without the perception that it is dirty.  It's with that partial nod to "research" that I dug through my stuff for this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  When I first skimmed through the spread I was shocked at how naughty it became, and it's because of all the ass I saw.  I wanted to go through it again to see if I'm only seeing things -- that, and to jerk off.

I finally saw it in a bag where I also had a Twin Cities Business magazine.  Never have I bought one before; in fact, I don't think I've ever seen it before.  But at the flu billing place the January issue was just laid out on the front desk, and every time I passed by it on the way into work that morning I noticed that it had the cover of five Vikings cheerleaders posing around a woman whose business is making uniforms for cheerleaders in the area.  Since they're Vikings cheerleaders, they're all hot.  In particular the abs.  Oh my God, the abs.  That's the reason I bought it, in late February.  I was lucky this place didn't replace this issue with the current issue of Twin Cities Business before I purchased it.  I planned to masturbate to the Vikings cheerleaders, and I did, and I got aroused, so I started wanking to the cheerleaders and finished myself off with looking at Alex Morgan's sandy ass in SI.  I wonder if she would pose with just her ass hanging out, sans sand.  I get a feeling that she thinks she can do that and keep her job and "dignity" because the sand acts as a covering, like a bikini bottom.  Not really, but that's OK, you keep thinking that, babe.

But that's not what I really wanted to talk about.  In this bag where both magazines were was a receipt for the TCB mag, completely unfolded and pristine, obviously unmoved from when the bookstore teller threw it in there.  I probably forgot to take it out before I threw the whole bag in hiding.  But I only found this now, more than two months after the purchase.  So I wanted to make sure I didn't write it down, so I went through my old pages of my day planner, and yep, I had not wrote it down.  So I did, and then I had to update the monthly expense list, and then I had to update the final total for February, which dug a deeper hole of how much more money I took out of my wallet than put in.

You know, I keep doing these Expenses Without Receipts because it's a way of figuring out how much money I keep spending.  And I need to know how I keep failing to grow my checking account, massive car repair bill excepted.  So it's very disheartening to see that I failed to note the expense of a magazine I never buy (I don't buy magazines period) because I want to jerk off to the cover.  It's kind of special, you know, therefore I would think I would mark it.  But I didn't.  Guess it's better late than never, but I keep getting mad at myself for not tracking these carefully, and seeing this this morning is an egregious, embarrassing example of that.