Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Monday, April 28:

• On Saturday the 26th I went to this house party which is only five minutes away from where I live.  I didn't mind the party.  The house is great (although I think the guy's a die-hard conservative; to his credit he never talked about politics and has been nothing but very kind to me) and as a party, it was quite rockin' on a Saturday afternoon.  (I will not forget, by the way, this one stripper who walked completely naked all the way from the food downstairs up to the living room where all the dances were being given.  I had an up-close look at her big, fine ass as she walked past me.  She was the only girl in the middle of almost a dozen guys who were waiting to be grinded upon by hot women.  She probably got all of us hard.  One naked woman, bunch of guys wishing to get fucked ... so many a gangbang pictorial uses this as a concept.)  But again, I don't want guys around me when I get to touch a stripper's boobies.  I don't know if I want to come back again, especially when the only lapper I got was from ****a, and even though it was only $20, I'll pay an extra $110 if that means we're alone and she gives me a handjob.  Oh, and there was a ten-dollar cover, so the total for going to the party was: $30.
• I went to the Swarm game.  I swear it's the last game in franchise history, and that some time (maybe today, maybe over the holidays) they'll "realize" that they have to cease operations.  Oh, and the Smarm played like shit in losing its last game.  Great way to convince people to come back next season, if there is a next season.  Scalped ticket, hot dog and a beer that was small but wasn't priced like it: $24.50.
• Decided to drop by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) after the loss.  And do you know who was there?  Many of the girls who worked that afternoon party.  And some of the guys there were hanging out with them, like they all left the party and came over there.  I like that.  Meanwhile, I didn't plan on getting a dance, but ********a, the girl who posted the house party I went to the night before, kind of made hand gestures which I interpreted as saying she was tied up with this drunk guy and wanted a way out.  Now that I think about it, maybe she was just hustling me for a dance.  But I felt kind of bad that I didn't get one from her the night before.  God, I hope I don't go broke.  Coffee, tips and that dance: $28.
• I went home, but it's a Saturday night, my parents aren't home to say they don't like me going out so late and I feel like I can write easier at My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place, so at 1 in the morning that's where I went.  Wasn't that hungry, even after I ate a sandwich at Cossetta, but I did get onion rings and a milkshake.  TMI, but I felt and saw that meal in the bathroom all day today.  With tip: $6.25.
• Friday the 25th ... got done with the night project about 15 minutes early.  Spent that time changing into my porno pants at work, then leaving to ********a's party.  Got a dance from *****e*, whom I'm sure I would've been able to take my dick out on if there was no one else in the basement.  But there was a guy getting a dance from ********a, and then another of the strippers came down, and even though they were done with their dance this girl and ********a were talking and shooting selfies or some shit, so no dick-showing opportunities for me.  Also got a dance from this cover girl.  I'll leave it at that.  And unfortunately I had to pay cover, too.  Total: $50.
• Went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place after picking up my laptop at home.  This guy who's always there on Fridays talked my ear off, but that's OK, because I haven't seen him in a long time.  We decided to go to a Twins game on a Saturday.  Dinner-sized salad, mozzarella sticks, Coke and tip: $12.
• The morning of Thursday, April 24 I picked up donuts for work.  Great donuts -- nothing fancy, just extremely well-made: $33.15.
• To Sunday, April 20 -- Walked all the way to Wendy's.  Didn't get a receipt this time.  Why aren't they more consistent?  Total: $7.81.
• Oh, and I gotta talk about the massage I got with ****a: $130.
• On Saturday the 19th I dropped off my car and went to the local hospital to eat.  Why eat there?  Variety.  Got a receipt for that.  I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) to see if ****e*, the old chick who wanked me off in her car in the parking lot (still haven't blogged about that!) would be working that afternoon.  Thought she usually works Saturday afternoons, but she didn't work this one.  And since I was short of funds, I cut my visit short.  Coffee and a couple tips: $7.
• That evening I went to the Minnesota RollerGirls championship bout.  Congratulations go out to the Garda Belts, the club team that won for the first time in MNRG's ten-year history.  Ticket (at a student discount), beer and tip: $21.
• Afterwards, I finally hit out Mickey's Diner for a proper, non-rushed meal.  It is a diner, but I'm kind of obsessed with knowing what's the go-to food here.  Looked through Yelp and there's no consensus, so I got the two items that appeared to reach a plurality: Hash browns O'Brian's and Mulligan stew.  Total with tip: $15.70.
• To Friday, April 18 ... after a long week of being out of the house basically for 16 hours, I decided to stay out out of my own accord and drop by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) to relax.  I was immediately hit up by this cute chick whom I remember seeing before but didn't know whether she was a $5 girl.  Luckily I didn't mind giving her $20 for the ensuing lap dance.  I think for all my years coming here, this is the first time a stripper has actively and blatantly groped me.  She's a keeper.  Said dance, coffee and a stage tip for only one girl because I gave $20 to this chick, another girl is a five-buck girl and the fourth didn't show up: $25.
• Saturday the 12th. ...  Started my day off at Caribou.  Charged the mocha and cookie.  If I knew I didn't have any money and I would wind up using my credit card this day, I would have also charged my monthly health insurance premium, too.  Oh well.  I did have enough coin to give a tip: 25 cents.
• Finished doing my taxes at the library.  First I had to print out the two-page 8889: 20 cents.
• Then, when I got done, I made copies of all my returns -- one for all the state forms, two for all the federal (one to send to the state, one to keep for myself): $1.10.
• After the Gophers upset loss -- God that pisses me off -- I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) to try and forget.  Tips and coffee (and, ETA on 12:36 a.m. May 17 that, at least according to my Franklin Quest record, I also got a dance from this beautiful hippy blonde named Kirah, so I'm changing it from the original amount of $10 to): $31.

Hopefully I'm good through April 28.