I've noticed more and more that the girls at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) have been asking for five bucks more often. Some of them are new, and some of them have just given me new attitudes. I don't know what is the cause of this annoying new upsell, but it's both pissing me off and troubling me.
The only cause of this is actually a good thing. Last week when I went to the bar I noticed that they repaved the entire parking lot. Before it was pocked with holes and gravel, but they put down new asphalt and it's all smooth and it looks good. That shows that the owner of the place continues to invest in the bar, which means he cares, which means he is not going to sell the place anytime soon. (There have been many rumors that he's going to quit and give up the land the bar's on; the area around it is gentrifying and the liquor license is a prime asset for someone who wants to make money in the city of Minneapolis.) That is awesome.
Unfortunately, I think that led the owner to tell the dancers that they are going to charge them more in house fees to work there. That in turn makes them demand five bucks from customers instead of just two. And I love this place, mean it, but fuck that. I've been going here too long to be bullied into frittering away more money. Hell, the first time I came in it was an adjustment going from one buck to two, but I did it -- I think I compromised enough.
And another thing: I think that I'm the only guy there who regularly tips during visits. Most of the other guys are just sitting around, drinking and eating Heggies Pizza, talking to the strippers after they got done with their shift. I think I should get a lot of credit for giving money since no one else is doing it. Shit, if they're going to get all uppity about the amount of money I tip, maybe I won't tip any money. Maybe I'll just treat the place like a regular bar, where I'll go and have a beer and watch sports on the TV. I'll just be like 90% of the guys at the place, not giving a rat's ass about the strippers. I wouldn't be giving them any money then. Would they like that instead?
OK, here's the deal: I will continue to give two bucks a pop. If you don't like it, fine, I'll put you down on my "five-dollar list" and never tip you again. But if you do accept my two dollars (and don't say some shit like, "Do you want to give me five for a better show?") there's a chance, a good chance, that you'll get a $20 dance from me. Now that's down the line -- I'm not made out of money. But that's the deal: I'll give you $2 with a chance to make $20, but if you demand $5 you'll get $0. Are we clear?
I hope that there's going to be some pushback on this. I still have my die-hard ATFs, and they're not giving me shit about two bucks. But if other strippers continue to demand fives at a time, or if those ATFs start getting bitchy with me about the money I'm voluntarily giving them ... well, shudder to think that I won't be welcome there anymore.
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