OK, so the final piece of the puzzle concerning Alumni Clubgate has finally been found and put in its place, and the mystery of The Missing And Silent Chapter Member has finally been solved. Unfortunately, it just about is the nightmare scenario I envisioned.
Friday, while giving my car to The Next Mechanic Around The Corner (oh yeah, have I told you guys there's white smoke coming from the back of my engine? Repairs to my car have happened so often that I don't even think to blog about them anymore because they're so goddamn commonplace) I get a text out of the blue from my Vice-President. We had spoken at length from time to time about what I heard was her refusal to take part in the club anymore. I reached out to her, via Facebook and then through e-mail last week, hoping to smooth things over or at least to get an explanation from her. On Wednesday, in the middle of another event, I told the VP that she didn't respond to my latest message. As he volunteered to do in our last game-watching event, he was going to try and communicate with her.
And she did. He texted saying only, "Nothing personal towards you." That is way too vague for me to accept, and as President I still had to know whether we can go to her place for games this year. So I asked him, "Are they (she and her husband) going to host?" to which he replied, "Doesn't look like it."
So that's that; we have no backup plan for games our bar can't show. That "solves" one issue (even though it doesn't solve the question of where we have to go instead; at least we know we need to find a new place now), but now I need to know the more important issue: Why is she ignoring me?
Note that while I tried to talk to her twice over the course of a month, she replied to him, my VP, virtually immediately after just one communique. Why is that? Why did she decide to talk to him, but not to me, the guy who's responsible? He didn't really know, but he said not to "rock the boat" and that her issues had to do with "me as a figurehead and bad club pr."
When I asked for details, he relayed what she really was complaining about when she talked to ... someone. There were three things she was bitching about, according to the Vice-President: People didn't buy stuff at the bar where we watch games; no one brought food when she was hosting games at their house; and the piss-poor planning for the party over the summer. Having my saddest fears confirmed, that it was in fact she who truly was undermining me, was sad enough. But having these complaints raised about me -- or at least raised about the club while I am currently its head -- started to anger me, and in fact makes me angrier the more I think about it.
In order of how they were relayed to me, these are my responses to her bitchings: I do not keep track of which people order what food, but I believe that we as a group have been very diligent in giving this bar business, and if that is not the case, I would think that the owner would have not kept us around for the past two-plus years; I consider not bringing stuff to eat bullshit because she never said we had to, or even said that that would have been nice, and she should damn well know that we would have if she only spoke up; and goddamn, I am sorry yet again for not knowing how to plan a fucking party, and I will try and learn from this mistake. But it doesn't matter anymore; she was the one who, according to my predecessor as prez, vowed never to attend another club event.
I am hurt. Very hurt. That middle accusation, that no one volunteered to bring stuff like it was some fucking potluck -- well, I am very resentful. Not to say anything and then bitching about it behind my back to the point where you no longer want to be with the group you were so involved with and vocal of just one year ago?! Pisses me off. Those actions are that of a spoiled, petulant child. She's two-faced, that's what she is, a damn two-face. And I didn't think she would act so juvenile.
But what I still don't understand is why she isn't talking to me. I do not think I'm unapproachable. We talked a lot during games, candidly, or at least I thought we did. If she had any issues about me, about the other members of the club, about how the club is operating, anything, she could have come to me. She has my contact information, so she doesn't have that excuse. She just didn't fucking bother to communicate with me.
She says it's not personal. That's fucking bullshit. It's always personal. I am the President of this club, so it's my name and ass on the line. Whatever happens with the club, good or bad, is a reflection of my leadership -- of me. So when she doesn't want to do things with the club anymore, she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. And you can bet your sweet goddamn ass that that concerns me.
As much as I need to take responsibility, though, I'm not going to just slit my wrists and throw myself at her mercy. I am owed an explanation as to why she was complaining about me behind my back and why she no longer wants anything to do with the club. In fact, I am entitled to one -- not just because I'm President, but because I'm a human being, and that's what civil people do to work out problems. Hell, she should scream at me because that might make her feel better. But does she? No. She just acts as if everything is fine, and then over the summer she does a complete about-face and acts as if she is offended, absolutely offended, as to how we run the club. And when I try to do the diplomatic thing, she just gives me the silent treatment.
If you don't like me, elections are in June, OK?
It's the rejection that hurts the most.
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