Fuck You, Mother Nature, And Fuck You, Traffic Control!!!

Should've known I would've gotten into an accident this morning.

Yeah, I got into an accident this morning, just as the snowstorm, a big snowstorm, the first snowstorm of the year, hit for morning rush, just as the late local news predicted.  I was doing everything right, minding my own business, and being slow like I was supposed to.  But then the goddamn light at the intersection decided to choose me to stop, of fucking course, and I was braking of fucking course there was black ice because I was at an intersection.  And then my parents' minivan started to angle and turn to the right ... right behind a truck that was hauling a trailer behind it.  I was screaming to God, "NO, NO, NO, NO!!!"  But I finally hit that goddamn trailer, because of fucking course this bullshit would happen to me on the first snowstorm of the year, occurring right at rush hour, on an intersection with black ice, when I was the one picked on to stop by fucking MNDOT.

I get out of the car after I come to a complete stop, with an assist by the trailer.  The truck didn't stop; he was getting onto the right turn lane, and he took that turn, and he kept going.  I don't think he felt it.  But I looked at my car; there was a dent right in the middle of the license plate, kind of like someone karate-chopped it.  So I went on the rest of my drive to work.  Took me 95 motherfucking minutes to get here.  I think there may have been smoke coming from the back side, the other side, of the hood, indicating that there is a cover gasket leak that results in burning oil, but that might be a combination of the hot car, the falling snow, and me being so goddamn pissed off that I got into an accident right off the motherfucking bat that I'm seeing things that aren't there.  Oh, did I mention that as a result of the dye test they found that the valve cover gasket from the minivan's engine is seeping oil?  That's why I saw (or may not have seen) this white smoke, which would have been perfect for my nightmare of a commute this morning.

I think I've said on WAF that winter is good because it keeps the pussies out.  Fuck that.  I already hate this fucking weather.  And the motherfucker who decided to give me the goddamn red light.  I should've driven right through that intersection, then I wouldn't've gotten into that accident.  Fuck me.

Goddamn, Winter's Coming

I heard three inches, I heard ten.  The timing of the storm has slipped later from Monday morning to the afternoon, but the bulk of it is still coming Monday evening -- the exact time where I was supposed to go to the University of Minnesota men's basketball game because I bought the ticket at a discount at the Minnesota State Fair.  Well, fuck me.

I thought El Niño was supposed to prevent storms like this, but I guess that's a lie.  I have to worry about a slew of things now.  I need to see how I'm going to get to the game (no goddamn way I'm letting the money I spent in early September go to waste now).  I have to hope that the snowblower works, and I should plug it in, but when?  Will I have time to blow the snow?  Will I be able to drive Tuesday?

And in the meantime I have to prepare for today.  I have knocked out a few things on my to-do list: Getting the minivan to the shop to get the results of the dye test (valve cover gaskets are bad); cleaned up the broken glass; bagged that heap of leaves behind the fence.  The miracle didn't come, however; there's still snow all over the back yard, so I don't know if I should even bother trying to rake the leaves.  Don't know if I have time anyway; with this blizzard coming in, I think it's better if I say screw it with the raking, mowing and fertilizing and move the cars in.  Then I have to tarp up one of the cars, and I don't know how to do that.  And there are still bags I have to dump at the compost site, and I need to do that before it gets dark.  And then I have to get these programs out to my friend.  All of this before my ATF comes over tonight to clean the house.

But all I want to do is stay in and watch football.  Bummer.

"As I Told You"

Alright, I thought we had turned the corner with our heart-to-heart talk when you spoke to me over the phone.  We buried a lot of shit that we threw at each other -- more you than me, but whatever.

So when I innocently ask you if you're at the game, and you reply no, "As I told you," you once again are giving me fucking tone.  We spoke about this bullshit that you like to pull already.  From your perspective, you assume I'm smarter than someone who would ask something to which you've already replied to.  Therefore, by "reminding" me that you told me something that serves as an answer to a question I asked (again, in all innocence), you imply that I'm stupid.

For the millionth fucking time, I'm not stupid; I live more of a life than to remember how you spend your goddamn day.  Saying the blog title above makes you sound like an arrogant asshole, and that's probably why you're still looking for a career back in sports.  Smh

I went down to the Mall of America three times in less than 24 hours.  It's an awful waste of gasoline, but it feels less of a burden if a tank of gas goes for $1.67 after you use a coupon on Double Discount Tuesday.

I first went Thanksgiving Night -- got there around 11:30 -- just because I wanted to be at the Megamall for shopping Thanksgiving Night, when I didn't go last year, probably the first time that mall (and most other malls around the country) decided to take that final step and open on the holiday.  I then went yesterday (Friday) morning because there were some food deals I wanted to partake in, especially knowing the commissary at work was closed for Black Friday.  Got to work technically a half-hour late, but I got the bagel sandwich and orange juice, and drink from Jamba Juice, all at special Black Friday prices.  (And I also got a mocha from Caribou because it was the caffeine I wouldn't be able to buy at work and thought was part of the deal from Bruegger's Bagels, the same place where I got the bagel sandwich and OJ.)  Finally, I went this past evening, just because I wanted to be part of the scene as MOA wound down its marathon holiday shopping opening.

I just went to Hooters to soak the atmosphere in, and to see if I could eat both the Lot A Tots and Fried Pickles without wanting to throw up, like I did the last time I ate both Happy Hour dishes.  I got them both down without a problem, although I feel full as heck.  I also was disappointed that both items are now four bucks, now three like it was, like the website it was, and like what my hot waitress said it was.  Oh, well, I guess this means I'm cutting back on my visits to Hooters.

Oh, and I bought some slippers at Old Navy, just before they closed their doors at midnight.  I think they were the only store to close at 12; all the others closed at the special Black Friday time of 10.  Anyway, I basically got everything I wanted for myself -- new boxers and boxer briefs, and slippers to replace the bathroom slippers I wear around the house.  Charged everything I bought the past two days -- the clothes and all the food -- to my credit card, so the bill I'm getting around Christmas and which I'll have to pay for mid-to-late January is already going to be friggin' huge.  'Tis the season!

My Plans For The Yardwork Are Ruined

For the record, these are the things I need to do when it comes to "outside" things -- and they have to be done in order:

• Rake the leaves in the backyard;
• Bag up all the leaves;
• Take the leaves to the local composting site;
• Mow the frontyard;
• Mow the backyard;
• Spread fertilizer in the frontyard;
• Spread fertilizer in the backyard;
• Pull in the new car behind the fence on one side;
• Pull in the old car behind the fence on the other side;
• Buy a tarp;
• Put the tarp over the new car;
• Put the tarp over the old car;

And then I'm done.  But I have to do all those things.  And I need to do them in this order, because it's much more difficult to do them out-of-order.  To illustrate, I need to tell you that lawnmower is in the shed in the backyard, and it's very inconvenient to move it around the car if I've already pulled them behind the fence.  So I have these steps that cannot be reordered or ignored.  I had to do them in these steps to make it perfect.

I was, and have been, ready to get to these things as soon as possible.  "As soon as" was as soon as I had free time, which was yesterday/Thanksgiving.  So what happened?  It snowed, first damn snowstorm of the year.  Great timing, Mother Nature.  I was raring to go, but I couldn't because there was white stuff covering the leaves, and even though it wasn't much (a quarter of an inch, at most) it was falling all day, so why rake?

At least I was able to spend my time forced indoors to good use: I polished off the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, was able to go out and grab a turkey dinner to eat while watching football at home, then I figured out how to spiff up the alumni e-mail communique I had to send for the week, and in the meantime I did another pile of laundry while figuring out why the laundry room is flooding.  (Then again, if I had time to start on my outdoor chores, I would have had no time to do all of these things.  Maybe I'm just busy, period.)  Nevertheless I was, to mangle a couple of aphorisms, fiddling on borrowed time, and just when I waited for the perfect time to execute my plan, winter happened.

So now what?  I really hate doing anything on Saturday because my alma mater's playing in the afternoon, and these things I would really rather devote the whole day to.  (That's why it sucks that they aren't playing in the evening, when I wouldn't be able to do any yardwork anyway.)  Meanwhile the composting site may close as of the 30th, which is a Monday, so if worst comes to worst, I might just decide to skip work and do gather as many leaves as possible to dump them on that day.  And to complicate all of this, I'm not going to move my cars an inch unless I bought tarps for both idled cars, and I haven't even bought the second tarp yet.  These car covers are tricky to purchase; I still don't know which one I should get.  At this rate it may very well be Christmas before I get these cars behind the fence and be completely done with the to-do list above.

Bottom line is that Sunday might be The Day to do all of it, or at least up through the fertilization.  But I don't know if I can even start because, like yesterday, the forecast might be wrong and I might wake up to snow on Sunday.  And if there are several inches, like I have heard, there's going to be no damn reason to even rake the backyard.  And that'll make moving the cars nearly impossible.  (Hell, the cars should be clean before I put the covers on them, and they won't be if this is a big storm.  Shoot, the snow yesterday has already made the cars "dirty.")  There's a chance I could bug out of work early today, but as long as there's snow on the ground, there's nothing I would be able to do.

I hate chores.  I hate stuff I need to do.  And sometimes I just hate having stuff.  This is absolutely overwhelming, and I'm just about ready to give up.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Happy Thanksgiving, first of all.

---

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Overall it was a very down week for local sports.  The top spot (although the top spot gets rewarded only with -1 this week) goes to the Gopher female ballers for their 2-0 week.  They trounced Maine 91-64; the Black Bears probably aren't even a mediocre mid-major team, but with Minnesota not doing much this year, maybe a 27-point win should be impressive.  They followed that with a comfortable-seeming 85-73 victory at Kent St.  Extra points for playing, let along winning, a true road game in a college basketball non-conference season.

This weekend they participate in their only tournament of the year, the San Juan Shootout in Puerto Rico.  They play Stetson Friday and Auburn Saturday.

#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  And finally new Head Coach Tracy Claeys pops his cherry with a 32-23 win over Illinois at TCF Bank Stadium.  I think the game shows the true talent gap between the two schools -- a powerhouse team such as Michigan St. or Ohio St. could rout either squad, but at least the U. still has more talent than the Illini, who still has an Interim Head Coach.

So the regular season comes down to the final game, the oldest rivalry in top-flight college football vs. Wisconsin at home for Paul Bunyan's Axe.  There is added importance because the Gophers are 5-6, so a win will ensure another bowl appearance (albeit a shitty one, although there are enough bowl games that 5-7 teams might be invited to the postseason).  But do you think they can actually beat the Badgers Saturday afternoon?  Well, actually ... rivalry game ... at home ... against a Wisconsin team that is a in a down year ... I'll give the Gophers a fighting chance.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -7).  Destroyed the Air Force 22-12 Saturday, but the U. should always beat the Air Force.  Why the fuck did this club lose to North Carolina?  This isn't basketball!  Sunday they play Oklahoma St. -- a real team -- in Stillwater.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  2-1 for the week.  All three games were at home, and they began by losing to Detroit by 10.  Then Philadelphia came to town.  The 76ers had yet to win a game, but they were leading late into the fourth quarter.  I was looking at updates on ESPN.com and Twitter and was reminded that the Sixers had lost a bunch of games to begin last season, but got their first win by beating the Woofie Dogs, and at Target Center.  I was thinking, "Great -- the Wolves are Philadelphia's slumpbuster."

Thank God, then, that Andrew Wiggins came alive and Kevin Martin shook off his continuing shooting woes by draining a three-pointer late in the game on their way to eking out a 100-95 victory -- which, by the way, was their first home win of the season, after six defeats to start the year.  And they followed that up with a 99-95 win over Atlanta, sweeping the Hawks for the season (they have already played Atlanta twice this year?  Yes, and 16 days apart!)  This screening week they visit Sacramento and the Clippers before facing Orlando at Target Center Tuesday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  OK, I don't want to make too big of a fuss about this, but I am now very frightened of the team's form.  Their winning streak was snapped at 15 matches after losing in Purdue Saturday in five games.  It was a valiant effort to tie the match after dropping the first two sets; the Golden Gophers took Set 3 34-32.  It looks like Sarah Wilhite got benched for the final set after making more errors (seven) than kills (six).  If she was firing on all, or even more, cylinders, does the U. beat the Boilermakers?

And then on Wednesday they again were taken the distance, this time by Ohio St. at the Sports Pavilion.  This time the U. again had to come back from two sets down.  The time, however, the comeback looked like a reverse rout -- the Gophs won the third set at 17 and the fourth at 15.  These results probably mean that the U. will not be the overall #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament.  However, from all I've seen, Minnesota remains firmly and safely ensconced as one of the regional #1's (along with USC and Texas), so I guess the damage these two matches wreaked won't be that significant.  Besides, their win over the Buckeyes gives Minnesota at least a share of their second-ever B1G title, the first won back in 2002.  They go for the outright title Saturday, where they visit Indiana in the final game of the regular season.  And on Monday (I think), the tournament field is revealed.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Don't look now, but the Mild ... suck at the present time.  A 4-0 shellacking of Nashville Saturday is the only thing preventing the squad from being in the middle of a five-game losing streak.  That might be the bad consequence over the rash of injuries they are going through right now, but this is the type of sketchy play that made some writers believe that Mike Yeo was going to be fired as Head Coach during the year.

Nevertheless, they are holding onto the eighth and final Western Conference playoff spot.  Also, they have played the fewest games in the National Hockey League; no team has played as few as the 20 the Wild have played as of press time, so they have chances to make up the points.  They finish their four-game homestand by playing The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers and The Bastard North Stars back-to-back Friday and Saturday, then visit dreaded Chicago Tuesday.

#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  This past week Michael Rand of the Star Tribune said that this year's club might be a horrible one.  The recruits Richard Pitino is bringing in next year will be markedly better, but they'll have to take their medicine first.

They finished sixth in the Puerto Rico Tip-Off.  They faded late in their quarterfinal loss to Temple, but rebounded by outlasting Missouri St.  That set up a final game versus Texas Tech ... which is coached by Tubby Smith, former Head Coach for the Gophers.  Chalk one up to the cuckold, which throttled the Goofers 81-68.  Reports said he couldn't hide his enthusiasm over beating his old team.  Well, that's great, isn't it?

What's good for the team is that they are home for the next four games.  Two of them comes this screening week: Nebraska-Omaha Friday, then Clemson Monday, as part of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge.  I have a ticket for the game against the Tigers which I bought at a discount at the State Fair.  Hope I remember to go, and hope I have enough energy to enjoy the game.

#-8: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  This was an utter failure.  They had the chance to capture greatness, to announce to a national audience that they were for real, and they were exposed as fake.  Nemesis Green Bay had never looked more vulnerable, and yet it was the Packers who marched into TCF Bank Stadium and came away with a 30-13 win that was as decisive as the final score indicates.

Now, I have to say that the referees missed a lot of Green Bay holding calls; the penalty yards disparity was out-of-whack and, in my opinion, not accurate.  Yet still, the Packers were able to solve their offensive woes.  What happened in their three straight losses was that Aaron Rodgers was actually forced to say in the pocket, which I guess for him is not a good thing for him.  Meanwhile, his receivers weren't able to create separation one-on-one.  On Sunday ... well, it was weird, but even though he got sacked twice, there wasn't much pressure on Rodgers.  The three defeats would have meant that he would be in trouble.  But instead it, well, resulted in the way you would think a great Quarterback with a lot of time would result: Completed passes and Touchdowns.  On the other side of the ball, the offensive line was so paper-thin that Teddy Bridgewater was sacked half a dozen times.  Therefore, once the game went into the second half with Green Bay leading, it felt like the game was over.

And that is a feeling I and many fans hoped would have been banished, at least this year, or this game.  Green Bay was able to not only end their losing streak at three but the Vikings' winning streak at five.  And that winning streak now comes into question.  They came against teams that didn't have a winning record.  And while it's good to see Minnesota beat teams can beat (which you couldn't say about past teams), their schedule does a 180 for the rest of the season.  Sunday brings Atlanta; they have floundered as of late, but they still have a winning record, and they need to go to the Georgia Dome to play.  All of a sudden, a future that looked limitless now feels doomed.  All because of one game.

#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: 0).  I'll say it: It shouldn't have happened.  They should not have lost.  In the second round of the NCAA Tournament Friday in Morgantown, W.V., they were playing Loyola Marymount, a team that upset a seeded Cal side (of the 64 teams in the tournament, only the top 16 get seeds).  The Gophers were favorites.  They should have won.

Unfortunately, a 5th-minute tally by the Lions' Sarah Sanger held up, and the Goofers became the second BcS victim of Loyola Marymount.  They were their next scalp to their Cinderella run, one that ended in the Sweet 16 to West Virginia.  Still, that's a great accomplishment for the Lions, and it came at the expense of Minnesota.

It may be just as demoralizing to see that not only did they lose, but the Lions basically matched up stat-wise with the U., too; Loyola Marymount won in Corner Kicks, 5-3, and beat them in fewer Fouls, 7-8.  This echoes the shitty form the club was in in failing to win their final five games before the NCAAs began.  Guess they just weren't able to pull themselves out of it.

But, we should look on the bright side.  Before the season began, would I be satisfied if the team won its first tournament game since 2010?  Yes.  And even though they lose stalwart Seniors Haley Helverson and Taylor Stainbrook, Simone Kolander returns for her Senior year, and this is considered to be a very young squad that should get better with a year's seasoning.  So although their excellent form through mid-October gave fans tantalizing dreams and those dreams were utterly dashed way short of a championship ... begrudgingly, I would say this year was a success.

Oh Man, I Just Had The Best Commute Ever!

Dranksgiving/Thanksgiving Eve/The day before Thanksgiving is great for getting to work because there are so many people who decided to take the day off.  I think a lot of people have taken the whole week off, or at least it seems that way, in fact, because I have faced little to no stop-and-start traffic so far this week on the drive in.  I believe I have had to wait a little bit on the first on-ramp to get onto the first of the three highways to get to work, but besides that, it was fine -- just 30-5 minutes.  I wish I had a commute of zero minutes, but it's a hell of a lot better than the 45 minutes it usually takes.

The big bottleneck, from 94W, through the Lowry Tunnel and making the switchover to 35WS, in particular has been a breeze this week.  It was great Monday and Tuesday, but it was even fantastic this morning because I barely had to step on my brakes twice through that area.  Changing lanes from the tunnel onto the ramp that gets me to 35WS was smooth sailing.  It was so effortless, in fact, that I don't even remember going through that area.  That ever happen to you?  You're just driving and there are no adverse conditions ahead of you, and so muscle memory takes over and you just sail on through?  That happened to me this morning.  And I feel kind of bad, because I want to remember the times when it was easy driving through there on my way to work on the days, such as next week, when it is all about impossible to drive through there.

Beyond that, though, seriously, man, that drive was so awesome I actually felt energized going into work.  Energized!  That disappeared -- not because of work, but because of something else that happened to me just now.  But still, fantastic commute!

And I Now I Feel Poor Again

My money worries have been alleviated for the moment.  With this well-paying job I have no angst over paying my bills, spending money on eating out, strippers, or eating out strippers.

That kind of changed Monday.  I didn't have time to take money out of the ATM, even though I've made it a point lately to use cash more and my credit card less.  Also according to my principles, if I use my credit card, I use it for all transactions for that day.

So I did.  And it was fine -- cereal at work, went to the Hard Rock to eat during Happy Hour while I waited for traffic to slow down, blah-blah-blah.  But then I went to get the oil changed in my parents' minivan.  They go to this place well down a side street on the way to downtown Minneapolis, and it's convenient because they are open weeknights until 11, so I watched Dancing With The Stars, had a bowel movement, and left at 9:30 to do something that shouldn't take more than an hour.

When they were done, they weren't done.  The guy told me that there is oil leaking around the engine.  So that puddle on the driveway was something!  So I figured that, as long as I was there, I should get the engine degreased so they could start a dye test.  I'm supposed to bring it in later this week to see where the leaks are, and then they'll hit with a further estimate, one I won't be able to act on because, right now, the minivan is the only mode of transportation I have.

The oil change itself was just $25, but with this test it added another $55.  Oh, and they suggested they clamp down the hood shield, which was another $15.  So what was advertised on the sandwich board outside the shop as $19 turned out to be, with tax, a little more than $108.  Add that to:

• Cereal at work, which was $1.60;
• Dinner at Hard Rock, which was about $24.50;
• and eating Godfather's Pizza and buying a Vanilla Coke from the gas station across the street -- might as well eat while I was waiting -- which was $7.16;

And I charged/spent $141.50 or so yesterday.  I made a quick calculation; that's a little more than a days' pay.  Didn't anticipate that.  And what if I should pay for repairs for these oil leaks in the minivan?  Those days last year of seeing the money I made being thrown into my car for various problems is coming back to haunt me -- and it's not even my car!

Coke Rewards Blackmail

I have been collecting the caps from Coke product bottles because I enter the codes on the underside of the caps to my account.  I don't know when I started it, but it has to be about ten years.  And I don't remember why I started it, although I guess that I learned that I could get something I wanted if I accumulated enough of them.  Anyway, it doesn't seem that long ago that I began.  Coke Rewards feels like a gimmick, a marketing campaign, something that has the lifespan of a mayfly and burns out just as quickly.

But I've gotten over 1,000 points.  Now, I don't remember if I ever redeemed those points for the object that I started collecting bottlecaps for.  Nor do I recall using those codes for anything.  Well, I did toss in three points here and there for these sweepstakes, where I enter in order to get tickets or clothes or something.  Never won, so I stopped.

I have still collected these caps and side panels from 12-pack boxes.  Since my parents are gone, in fact, I have not put them in the various plastic cups I keep after I buy pop or beer from sporting events, like I usually do.  No, I have arranged them into two neat lines on the opposite end of the dining room table from where I am blogging at least the first part of this blog right now, a table that is festooned with a whole bunch of mail and shit, some of it my folks', some of it mine.

I meant to leave out those caps to remind me that, when I have downtime, I should revisit my account and put them in.  From time to time I remind myself to do that, but to be honest, I have had no downtime to put them in.  Not for a long time.

So late Sunday I was in bed, ready to go to bed when I scrolled one last time through my e-mail.  I saw that Coke had sent me a message saying that I needed to do something with my account or else all my hard-earned points I've accumulated over a decade would be gone.  This wasn't downtime; this became a priority.  So I hopped out of bed and got back on my computer (which I had shut down because the Internet wasn't working, and I'll talk about that some other time).

I logged in ... and saw that my points were 0.  WTF???  I thought I had three days, and that message was sent a day ago, so how the hell could I have lost all my points?!  So I did what I really didn't want to do: Chat with an agent.  Those things are always awkward.  I never get the sense that I'm having a real conversation; instead, I am talking to someone whose reading from a script.  And that someone, BTW, probably is South Asian, so I don't know if she or he understands my culture-based colloquialisms or, frankly, what I'm trying to say.  But I needed to raise holy hell because Coke stole points they said I had two days to keep.

There wasn't much conversation.  I wanted to type out my situation, but I had a Twitter-like character limit.  So I typed in something like, "My points.  Gone.  Why?"  Turns out I don't think I was speaking to an Indian or Indonesian call center worker, but an algorithm.  It picked up on "points gone" and spat out this pat, FAQ-like answer ... which actually was helpful.  The answer had a link I clicked on, and that brought up a question of why I had used my account in the last 90 days.  I chose the closest answer to what was the truth -- it was too time-consuming.

And then all my points magically appeared.  A one-time reprieve, Coke said.  But, they "suggested" I sign up for reminders, which I guess is a reminder beside the one I got Saturday saying that I had three days before the company was going to take all my points away.  In guilt and shame, I signed up.  That's alright; I gave them the one that all my spam goes to.

So Coke Rewards has shown mercy on me.  I don't like what I consider to be a provocative act, but I had intended to finally get rid of those lines of Coke caps, and maybe that was the push I needed.  But, you know, still. ...

Leaves Setback

About my plan of dumping the leaves?  Checked the website shortly after I blogged last night: The compost site on Sundays open at noon.  I have to be at work at noon.  So I can't dump the leaves.

More news: The weather on Thanksgiving, the next time I might be able to rake the leaves, calls for a wintry mix.  Doubt I can rake then.  Might as well exercise then, assuming the roads are OK.

A final wrench in the works: The time for my alma mater's game is in the afternoon -- a time when I could either rake or dump the leaves.  So I'll have to watch the game instead, which means preparing for the game instead.  I may use the time to dump the leaves at the compost site, which opens on Saturdays at 9, but, if possible, I might need next Sunday to get this all done.  Maybe.  Shoot, I might need another weekend -- if it doesn't snow by then.

Me Vs. The Leaves, And The Leaves Are Winning

Woke up this morning at a quarter after 6.  I wanted to wake up early so I could rake the front yard, but 6:15 was too early, so I went back to sleep.  I set an alarm for a quarter to 1, which I knew would be way too late to start raking, but it was better to wake up in time for my alma mater's game (ugh) than raking, and if I do wake up early enough, well, then I can.

I woke up at 8:30.  God, I love those long sleeps after I had a long sleep.  And I went out to rake.  I had two-thirds of it done and thus clean last weekend, but since then the winds have been howling.  A couple days ago I saw leaves and a few pop cans blown all over my mostly meticulous yard.

So, do I really go through the entire lawn again?  No.  I did what I estimated was the last third I hang't gone through and did just that.  Well, there were two other areas where a lot of leaves seemed to collect, so I raked those in.  But at some point I just had to call it.  I'm already raking on borrowed time.  This time last year we already had our first snowstorm, so I am lucky to have time to rake leaves, but I don't have forever.  So I just had to do as much as I could, and leave the other leaves on the yard.  Shoot, they say that leaves are good to feed the lawn (after it's mulched), and maybe I shouldn't rake any of them because, I read, that animals live in leaves.  Well, that's my excuse to just stop with the 14 bags I collected.

And now I hope to dispose all of those bags at the county compost site in the morning.  I don't want to; I would rather wake up on my own, provided I wake up in time to get to work tomorrow.  But I want to be completely done with those bags this weekend.  I mean, I haven't even touched the backyard, and the next time I probably will be able to rake there is Thanksgiving, and I had dreams of going to the gym then.  I feel I'm already behind, and I don't want a pile of leaves that I still have to deal with, some of which have been in my parents' garage for over a week.  So I'll sacrifice a late morning in order to complete this part of the chore.  The pains of homeownership.

Addendum To: I Have Three Pairs Of Shoes, But In Actuality Have None

Update on my Doc Martens: My toes still hurt, but now it's almost entirely my right one, and the toenail is bruised regularly.  There is at least one other toenail that seems to be bruised too, at least the time I saw my right foot.  If these bruises are permanent, well ... guess I brought this on myself.

The upside is is that the pain of squeezing my foot into my shoes seems to have abated.  I think that I've stretched out the leather to the point where it's conforming to my foot.  Or, my pinky toe(s) are so bruised that I no longer feel them.  In which case, the next step is amputation.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  I can no longer deny at least this: The Minnesota Vikings are beating a lot of teams that they weren't able to beat in the past.  On the road against an Oakland Raiders franchise that seemingly has stumbled onto a Quarterback for the long run (Derek Carr) and a Safety that is playing close to his best (the legend, Charles Woodson), the Vikings managed to step up a gear in the fourth quarter and put the game away and win their fifth consecutive contest.

They did it with back-to-back big plays.  First, an Interception from Terence Newman in the end zone, with the Vikes clutching to a nine-point lead, showed that the defense was able to bend but not break at clutch moments.  And on the ensuing offensive play, Adrian Peterson picked up his blocks, shed a tackle from an out-of-position defender, and trampled 80 yards (although I must say a bit slower than the man he was five or ten years ago) to put the finishing touches on the 30-14 win.

The defense has now gelled into a fearsome force.  Lately, praise has been heaped onto Linval Joseph for creating havoc on the line of scrimmage.  Just as important, though, the secondary has been making big plays and forcing turnovers.  That may be just the elixir needed to defeat the Green Bay Packers in the Sunday national game, who are reeling after losing their third straight.  They have no running game to speak of and the receivers have been unable to get open.  In short, the Pack have never been more vulnerable to getting beat, and at Das Bank, no less.  Things are already looking up now that Minnesota is in first place all alone in the National Football Conference North.  But to beat Green Bay and be two games up on them, with an early tiebreaker?  No one could have seen this good fortune coming.

#0 (tie): Gopher volleyball and Gopher soccer (Last Week, respectively: 0 and -8).  I grade these two U. of M. teams at 0 reluctantly.  I kind of still want to put these three in Positive Numbers, right next to the Vikings.  That would mean that three teams are at the same level, which I believe would be a WMNSS first, and I don't know if I want to do that.

Both programs had very notable weeks.  I was at Saturday's volleyball game against #1 Penn St. as part of my Day Of Volleyball.  I had thought that the match would have the highest attendance ever at the Sports Pavilion for a v-ball match -- turns out that the match earlier in the season vs. Wisconsin had about 50 more people -- but I know for sure that I have never attended a Gopher volleyball match that loud and fervent.  And if you believe in home-court advantage, it was an overwhelming force in helping the U. sweep the Nittany Lions.  The concern going in is if they were relying too much on Daly Santana, but she was helped in the first two sets by Hannah Tapp (10 kills) and tremendously in the third set by Sarah Wilhite (12 kills).  That balanced attack will serve them well in the long run, one that should be punctuated with the Big Ten regular season title.

The only reason I used to not put the squad at Positives was that I thought that beating "the man" meant that they would be "the man."  Unfortunately they only moved up one spot in the AVCA Top 25 to third.  The disappointment over not getting first there was enough of an excuse for me to not put them first here.  Well, at least they remain #1 in RPI.

Oh yeah, the club also swept Maryland last (Wednesday) night, keeping them two games ahead of Penn St. and Nebraska for the conference lead.  They have three games left in the regular season, none of them complete walkovers.  They visit Purdue on Saturday, then have Senior Night Dranksgiving against Ohio St.

Meanwhile, the Golden Gopher footy squad won for the first time in six matches, and since it was the first round of the NCAA Tournament, not a moment too soon.  They found both their offensive spark and defensive mindset Friday at Robbie Stadium, utterly dispatching a South Dakota St. side that could have taken advantage of a team that had fallen on black days.  Simone Kolander has yet to get back on track, but credit Redshirt Senior Taylor Stainbrook for kicking off the 5-0 onslaught by scoring the first and game-winning goal in the 19th minute.

Even better, they do not have to face seeded Cal in the next round.  In the only big upset of the first round, the Bears were shocked, 1-0, by Loyola Marymount.  So it is the Lions they will face in the second round of the tourney, Friday afternoon, in Morgantown, W.V., site of the next two rounds of that pod of the tournament (the winner of the game will face either host West Virginia or Northwestern on Sunday).  There's no reason not to believe Loyola Marymount can't follow up one win over a seeded team with one over an unseeded one, and I didn't want to lift this club up to Positive Numbers only to shovel them all the way down to -Infinity the following week, so that's my excuse to place them at 0 here.  Nevertheless, their first tournament victory since (I believe) 2010, when they reached the Sweet Sixteen, makes this season a smashing success.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!).  College basketball season started up this weekend.  Seth Davis of SI.com proposed that the beginning of the season, regardless of what day of the week it falls, should start on November 11, aka Veterans Day, and, in fact, Davis stipulates that every Division I college basketball team should play on that day.  It would generate as much of a splash to commence the sport's season as you can get in a time of the year where football (both pro and college) are in full swing and the NBA has just begun.  Actually, that's a great idea.

Right now, the NCAA states that the season must begin on the second Friday in November, which this year was (duh-duh-duh!) Friday the 13th.  The first game in top-flight college basketball, by the way, tipped off at 11 Central Time that afternoon, Vermont vs. Eastern Michigan.  (Don't know why I wrote that sentence.)  Teams didn't have to play that day, but the Gopher men did, and they trounced Missouri-Kansas City at Williams Arena, 76-58.  And they quickly followed that up with another home win versus Louisiana-Monroe Sunday, 67-56.  Certainly these aren't formidable opponents, and I can recall many times U. men's b-ball teams fattened up on tomato cans at home before being exposed in conference play on the road.  But it's always better to win than to lose, and with the arrival of three pretty solid recruits, the aura around this team, at least, is positive.  The test comes this weekend, however, in San Juan for the Puerto Rico Tip-Off.  The eight-team mini-tournament ensures three games over four days to determine where each team places, and let's home to God the U. isn't dead last.  They draw Temple this (Thursday) afternoon.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!).  Meanwhile the Gopher women ballers also started play on Friday the 13th -- earlier than the men even, by 2 1/2 hours, because they too were playing at Williams.  Marlene Stollings's squad decimated Wofford, 98-54.  The team sank a highest-ever 16 three-pointers, six of them by not Rachel Banham.  It was Mikayla Bailey, who was named B1G Co-Player Of The Week for chipping in a career-high 26 points and career-high 13 rebounds.

Good start, but I'm not sure how well it's going to end.  There are no sites I see that place Minnesota in the NCAA Tournament.  That would be a horrible shame for Banham, considered to be one of the 25 best players in top-flight women's college b-ball, to be relegated to the WNIT.  But I guess that's a huge testament to how important Amanda Zahui B. was to the team when they made it to the Big Dance last year.  Man, if Zahui stayed this year, and assuming Banham would be healthy all year, they could have put the hurtin' on the conference.  But now ... ?

They host Maine on Friday before having a true blue road game against Kent State Tuesday.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4).  They are just about to complete a four-game road trip, and it's not going so well.  They beat The Bastard Hartford Whalers in Overtime, but then lost to The Team That Was Stolen From Us in OT.  Then on Tuesday, they were defeated in regulation by Pittsburgh a team that, according to Michael Russo of the Star Tribune during the radio broadcast of the game had such weak defensemen that the Wild should be able to outscore the Penguins.  So a straight-up loss like this should be considered a grave disappointment.

It's not helping that the club is going through a rash of injuries right now.  They are calling up a host of young guns from AAA Iowa, and they shouldn't be; many folks in the know say that the Iowa Wild (or the I-Wi, as I want to call them) are the worst assembled team in the minors.

This week they finish their road trip in Boston, then come home to play Nashville and Vancouver.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  NBA League Pass is a satellite service where you can subscribe to a team.  I am guessing that a lot of diehard hoops fans have the Woofie Dogs on their League Pass, because a lot of folks in the know are delighted nightly by the continuing emergence of Andrew Wiggins, the still-crisp court vision and passing virtuosity of Ricky Rubio, and the grown-up power of rookie Karl-Anthony Towns.

Too bad it's not translating to wins.  They went 1-4 in a grueling screening week, their only win a second-half comeback in Miami on Tuesday.  Last (Wednesday) night's loss to Orlando was excrutiating: The Magic's Evan Fournier sank a three-pointer with about three seconds left in Overtime.  Thus, Wiggins's 28 points, Towns's 21 points and 12 rebounds, and Rubio's almost-triple-double (12 assists, 12 boards but only 8 points) went to waste.  I think I said it last year and I'll say it again: This may be the most entertaining 25-win team in recent NBA history.

The good news is that the Wolves are at home this whole week: Detroit, Philadelphia and Atlanta.  The bad news is that they have yet to win at home.

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  Split a home-and-home against Minnesota State-Mankato.  Both teams won on the road: The Goofs routed the Mavericks Friday, 4-0, but then were bested in Mariucci in OT the next night, 3-2.  That defeat was a particular gut-punch because they were up 2-0 with 3 1/2 minutes left in regulation, but the Mavs scored two goals, about 2:45 apart, after they pulled their Goalie.  Nevertheless, Minnesota's Goalie, Eric Schierhorn, was named the B1G Third Star Of The Week for his efforts.

The team has a break this weekend.  They had a break just three weekends ago!

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -7).  At the Minnesota State Fair there is one building dedicated solely to the University of Minnesota.  One part of the wing is for Gopher athletics, where you can buy tickets at State Fair discount, get free posters, and see notable team trophies.  It was notable this year because of all the rivalry trophies the U. football team collected in 2014.  It was another year where they had Floyd of Rosedale, which they won after beating Iowa, and the U. displayed the Little Brown Jug for the first time in a long time, the result of defeating Michigan.  The Governor's Bell was there, too, but that is a minor rivalry, and unfortunately I still have not seen Paul Bunyan's Ax because the Gophs haven't beaten Wisconsin in a while.  But I took pictures with all three trophies anyway, just in case I won't be able to see them displayed at the State Fair again anytime soon.

Glad I did take the pictures.  A bad play call gave the Wolverines the win on Halloween, and after Saturday's 40-35 setback in Iowa City, the pig is gone, too.  The game against Iowa was not as close as the score indicates, by the way.  That means that they have lost four in a row, and newly-named Head Coach Tracy Claeys still has not won a game.  He has his chance Saturday early afternoon at TCF Bank Stadium against Illinois, a team playing for an Interim Head Coach but one that is playing a lot better than anticipated.  The Goofs have their own motivation: They need to win their final two games to be bowl-eligible.

#-7: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1).  I heard that this year's team wouldn't be as good as previous classes, but this is absolutely shocking: The team lost all three matches in Sunday's Northeast Duals in Troy, N.Y.  How the fuck does this program, the U.!, get swept in all three matches on the same goddamn day?  And how in the fuckety-fuck do they lose to North Carolina and N.C. St.?  Two ACC schools?  What does the ACC know about wrestling?  They're a fucking basketball conference!  And the Goofers got deeeee-stroyed by the Wolfpack 31-3!!!  I can't fucking believe it.

Worse yet was news from last week that I was not aware of.  The #1 high school prospect in the nation hails from Apple Valley, a young man named Mark Hall.  Despite being trained by Gopher coaches and student-athletes, and thus being lobbied heavily to go to the U., on Veterans Day he said he would go to Penn St. under the tutelage of Cael Sanderson.  That's got to be a kick in the nuts.  Head Coach J Robinson can't keep the borders closed for the best wrestling blue-chipper in the Class Of 2016?  And he loses him to a hated conference rival?  The Nittany Lions had come from virtually nowhere to win four NCAA Champions in a row; that Sanderson could just saunter into Gopher country and pluck this state's best wrestler means that the power in the Big Ten, and in college wrestling, resides in State College for the foreseeable future.

Right now, though, Robinson has bigger things to focus on.  Like trying not to get upset by the Air Force this Saturday evening at the Sports Pavilion.

Expenses Without Receipts

Christ -- more than a month -- again!!!  Starting from Tuesday, November 17:

• Had hot cereal at work: $1.60.
• Still hungry, so I had hot soup at work: $1.92.
• Didn't know how much good food I would eat at *a***'s party that evening.  I wanted to get dances from the three girls there but only got them from two because one of them upcharged me for the extras I got, even though she didn't specifically say she would.  And the other one said I was going to give her $140 instead of $40 -- and that was my ATF!  I hate it when strippers and I don't agree on money.  I should have written down contracts before I got down with both of them.  Sheesh.  Plus a huge cover because I will need *a*** later: $140.
• To Tuesday the 17th, where I got cereal at work: $1.60.
• And then I got soup at work because I didn't anticipate eating dinner.  That's OK; I should be watching what I eat, anyway: $1.92.  (ETA on 11:14 a.m. on Wednesday the 18th that I just noticed that put in these two EWRs twice and have struck them through.)
• Saturday, November 12 was The Day Of Volleyball ... And Eating.  I charged my trips on the light rail, and on the high school v-ball tournament ticket.  But from the time I light-railed it back to the Minneapolis side, I think I used money.  I used it for the Golden Gopher-Penn St. volleyball match.  Scalped ticket, hot dog, medium Coke (all that public transportation made me thirsty!) and program comes out to a total that I will never exceed for any volleyball regular season game: $40.75.
• Caffetto has been exceedingly busy lately.  The past two times I wanted to veg out there I couldn't because virtually every seat was taken.  While I was looking for a spot that evening I found, going up and down the stairs, a penny and a dime.  I couldn't have coffee there, but at least I made money there!  An Infusion of: 11 cents.
• Friday the 13th: Started my morning getting hot cereal at work.  This is the middle of a month where I am compelled to buy hot cereal because the cafeteria has a deal where, if you buy nine cups of cereal in November, the 10th one is free.  It's good, but once I decided to buy it the first time, I am now making myself buy eight more cups so I can get that free cup, which I will get on November 30.  Total: $1.60.
• Got sprung from work early.  Great!  My alma mater had a game Friday night.  Also, this place called Blaze, one of those wood-fired fast pizza places, was opening a restaurant close to the U., and they were giving away free pizza to celebrate their grand opening.  Because of that, I was determined to go home after eating at Blaze, where I had to wait for just about an hour in line to get that free pizza, instead of eating and then heading downtown.  I was willing to buy a Coke, but the cashier also gave me that for free.  But I had to at least leave a tip, so I decided to give a buck for the pizza and a buck for the Coke.  Total: $2.
• After the game I decided to go to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place even though I ate at the bar watching the game (let alone eating a heavily-loaded pizza at Blaze, all in a space of six hours).  I had to watch coverage of the Paris terror attacks.  But I only got a milkshake.  With tip, which I rounded up because I had no quarters: $4.
• Take it back to Wednesday, Veteran's/Singles Day.  For breakfast, cereal at work: $1.60.
• Then I went to get coffee, which is free but comes out of these thermoses.  And as often is the case, they ran out of coffee.  I push down on the handle and there's coffee but then there's this "Pwaaa-shhhhhh-gurgle-gurgle!" and it just spits out the last of the coffee -- and a lot of those goddamn coffee grounds.  Oh, great -- I don't have coffee and I need to make coffee.  So I have to get the bag and the filter to make the coffee.  Except that there are no bags in the drawer.  Luckily someone was just passing by and asked what I needed.  She knew where the box of coffee bags was ... but that meant I had to wait until she got and opened the box so I could grab a bag and make the coffee.  At this point I was so pissed that I had to go through all this bullshit that I was determined to get coffee.  I wasn't going to wait for the coffee to be brewed.  So I went downstairs to buy coffee even though I was making coffee, for free, upstairs.  I was so depressed/angry that I completely didn't notice my co-worker stood behind me in line and said good morning to me.  God, I hated that morning.  That coffee cost: $1.92.
• On Tuesday, November 10 I got pizza for lunch at work: $3.10.
• That evening, after a long drive home, I went to the movies and saw Bridge of Spies on the recommendation of a fellow alumni club member.  I didn't know Steven Spielberg directed this movie.  This is a grown-up, stately, reasoned prestige movie that I admire a lot, even though I can't say there's a whole lot of emotions that it stirred in me.  Tom Hanks plays the Everyman and hits it out of the park like he's Miguel Sano.  Ticket, popcorn and pop (with tax now added, complicating this EWR from now on): $10.44.
• Monday the 9th: Cereal -- all of this hot cereal, by the way -- at work: 1.60.
• One of my new ATFs, *****e*, texted me and said she's working at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  To placate her -- and to make sure I continue to smooth the path towards greater favors later on -- I went even though I really didn't want to, just so I could get a dance from her.  With tips and coffee: $30.75.
• Sunday, November 8 ... a long day at work that bled into the finals of the Women's Flat Track Derby Association championship bout that evening in St. Paul, which I chronicled here.  Beer plus tip: $8.
• And then I put in my annual sojourn to Mickey's Diner.  It was here before me, and by Buddha it'll be here after I'm gone.  Plus tip: $13.57.
• On Friday the 6th I found a penny, probably on the staircase.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.
• And I had hot cereal at work: $1.60.
• Tuesday Thursday, November 5 -- While at work I got texted by my friend, inviting me out to a burger downtown.  It's the place where I wanted to eat with him way back in December.  Then I promised that I would have that burger with him in the spring.  Then the spring became summer, then fall, and now, well, November.  But at least my friend didn't forget, and he surprised me with this invitation.  I'm lucky that he found a fortuitous time for me to finally make good on my promise.  And by the way, the burger (and fries) were good.  So were the cocktail and coffee.  We split the bill and I spent: $40.
• On Wednesday the 4th I bought my first bowl of hot cereal at work: $1.60.
• Oh yeah ... this was the last day I could drive my new car.  My parents told me to cut off the insurance on the car and to use my parents' minivan for the next half-year.  So right now I/we have three cars in our driveway, two of them idled due to removal of insurance.  Anyway, I thought I should get my car cleaned before I stash it.  Believe it or not, since I got it in May, I have not had the car washed, inside or out, once.  It was time, especially if I wasn't even going to open it for half a year.  Also, the experts say I should get an oil change before I store it.  That caused me a lot of angst trying to find the time and the right locations to get my car cleaned on the inside and reach my oil change appointment in time.  (The dealership I went to washed the car after changing the oil, but they weren't going to touch the inside of it, so I had to go to both places, even though the outside of my car wound up getting washed twice, and it doesn't matter anymore, because I haven't put the car cover it on it yet and it's been raining the past two days.  But I digress.)  I found this place on the way to the dealership called Dave's Car Wash.  I really liked the slow (although if I had all the time in the world I would have called it "meticulous") way the three guys slowly wiped all parts of my car dry.  Charged the wash, and the tip was: $2.
• To Tuesday the 3rd, where I had pizza at work for lunch: $3.10.
• I then chilled at MOA, and I got a cupcake at Cupcake to bide my time.  Plus tip: $3.25.
• This may have been the day where I traffic prevented me from going home before I went to the movie theater to watch Steve Jobs.  Anyway, I still don't know how to feel about it.  It's written by Aaron Sorkin, and do you know about the cliche where Sorkin-written film are just people talking and walking down halls?  Well, that's the entire movie.  It's noticeably cleaved into three distinct acts, each of them in the hours before Jobs is launching his new product, and each ends before he begins speaking.  A series of people in his life drop by to talk and to air grievances, and nearly all of them see Jobs in all three product launches/acts, kind of like Ichabod Crane in A Christmas Carol.  I don't know if that was a good strategy because it felt like I was watching The West Wing three times.  Ticket, popcorn, pop: $10.44
• Let's take it back to Halloween ... after watching the game I went to the Mall of America because I was going to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition).  But it was a long day and I needed to keep myself going, so I got a coffee at Caribou, I think at the Megamall.  With tip: $2.25.
• At My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version) the Cup O'Noodles got my free cover.  Completely!  That saved me at least ten bucks!  Spent some of my savings on a Deshutes Black Butte Porter, which, for a hoppier beer, was pretty good.  Since my ATF there wasn't around, I got a pair of dances from three women: Sky, Madalynn and Nikita.  A reasonable damage to my wallet: $84.
• To Friday, October 30.  These were the days when people were just bringing food into work just because.  This time there was an ice cream fundraiser.  Well, I had to get ice cream!  And it only cost me: $2.
• That evening I thought I was going to have a night alone, but my friend mass-texted everyone about a spare ticket to a downtown Minneapolis pub crawl that his friend had to back out of.  I bit.  It was nice, real nice, even though we probably were the two uncoolest people in each of the three bars I went to.  The drinks were free, however, thanks to my buddy.  I got the tips this time around; he said he'd get me back next time.  Cool.  Tips: $9.
• Thursday the 29th ... needed coffee at work, eschewed the free one on my floor and opted to buy Starbucks at the cafeteria: $1.92.
• That night was a house party.  Got one dance from each of the four ladies working it, including one I didn't think would be caught dead in that place.  There was another girl there, and my God, she pisses me off so much that I do not ever want to see her ever again.  With cover: $90.
• On Wednesday, October 28 the floor was offering homemade soup for lunch.  Well, I had to get soup!  Like the ice cream, the soup cost: $2.
• To Sunday the 25th, where I finally decided to go out and watch a concert.  And it was a group I've seen before: A Silent Film, whose "You Will Leave A Mark" I fell in love with when I first heard it on satellite radio.  I thought I saved myself some money by paying the day of show at the box office, but, well, I got misled.  With Stag beer and tip: $22.
• Saturday the 24th ... this was the anniversary of My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), and they were holding a raffle to celebrate.  Because it's My Home Away From Home -- and to prove that I spend money there, despite what that harridan says -- I bought several raffle tickets as well as a Coors Light which was on sale.  With tips: $26.
• I got a call that afternoon that I won the one prize I wanted: A $200 gift card.  Won't need to pay money for gasoline for a long time, thank Buddha!  I went back that evening to collect it, but the prize was locked away and the guy who had the key already left.  Oh, well.  I stayed to to tip and get a lapper from Sasha.  With a Sprite: $24.75.
• On Friday the 23rd I had to go to the library to print out this Groupon for a massage I bought.  I hope I don't forget that I have it.  Printout cost: 10 cents.
• That evening I went to the University of Minnesota men's hockey game.  I skipped them last season after attending several games the season before, including one against each of the five opponents comprising the Big Ten hockey conference, which was in its first year two years ago, so I went for the novelty.  On this particular evening I went because they played Northeastern, and I always prefer to see non-conference teams that rarely come up to these parts.  And hey, the team won their first game of the season then.  Scalped ticket, hot dog, Coke and program came out to: $25.25.
• Afterwards I cooled my jets at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for coffee and tips.  At this point I'm resigned to give a dollar tip for my coffee, which is a total goddamn ripoff.  Total: $8.75.
• And after that I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  They advertise in the local shopper a coupon for any pasta dish for $7.50.  Used it for the first time this evening for the fettucine alfredo, the most expensive of the pasta dishes available and thus the one that would save me the most money.  With Coke and tip it totals: $11.75.
• Wednesday, October 21 I didn't plan on going on after work.  But I learned that it was Back To The Future Day.  In Back To The Future II Marty McFly and Doc Brown took the DeLorean to future -- namely October 21, 2015.  And a theater very close to me was having a special screening of it, as well as the other two films of the trilogy.  Those other two weren't based in October 21, 2015, and I didn't have time to watch the other two, but I went out to watch BTTFII.  And the girl who gave me my ticket said there was only one left, so I got the last one.  That means I made the right decision to go.  This EWR only applies for the ticket because I charged the popcorn and pop: $6.20.
• Tuesday the 20th.  At work there was a bake sale -- pay as much as you can for as many homemade treats as you want!  Tossed in: $5.
• On Monday, October 19 I had lunch at work.  This wasn't at the cafeteria, however.  Someone on the same floor as the cafeteria set up an indoor grill where they cooked hot dogs.  Guess they were raising money for something, I don't know.  I got that hot dog, along with a bag of chips, a can of Coke, and a cookie, and it cost me: $5.
• That evening I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because, I think, *****e* wanted me to come for a dance.  I did to appease her.  With tips and coffee: $31.75.
• I think I was similarly summoned to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) by *a*** the night before, Sunday the 18th.  These ladies are going to break me.  With tips and coffee the total comes out the same: $31.75.
• Thursday the 15th was my first day working at this place.  To keep me going in the afternoon I went to get coffee: $2.24.
• Tuesday, October 13.  Had Caribou in the morning, possibly because I had to go somewhere or something.  Mocha and tip: $5.36.
• That afternoon I caught Sicario at the local theater.  I'm not as high on it as others.  For one thing I want to think it's realistic, but when I researched it later many parts of the story depend on events that are fictional and unrealistic.  Also, Emily Blunt is being lauded for her role as an agent caught up in shadowy events related to the drug war in Mexico, but her character is mostly reactive and, in fact, a pawn for all the other (male) players.  How can I root for a protagonist who doesn't control the action?  This was the last time this movie chain did not apply tax to its sales, so the ticket, popcorn and pop came out to, one last time: $9.75.
• I knew there was a potential I could get this job, so I wanted to take a trip down to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Divison) just in case I do and am too tired (between work, my duties with the alumni club and working Vikings games) to do it with a daytime job.  (I didn't think about Halloween at the time because I didn't know what time the game would be.  Turns out the game was in the afternoon and therefore I had time to, turns out, also go down there then because I wasn't going to get bugged by little kids asking "Trick Or Treat!").  Anyway, I had a Cup O'Noodles that got me in for free on a Tuesday.  Also, my ATF was there.  First time I saw her in over a year.  Got a dozen from her.  With stage tips and beer, I think (I put a note on this when I drafted this EWR and beer wasn't listed, but I had to, because you can't just sit and tip at this place without having something to drink) and my total came to: $161.
• Saturday, October 10: Had a coffee at Caffetto, ostensibly to work on my receipts.  With tip: $2.50.
• That evening I went to the Minnesota United game.  I had blogged about ripping myself off.  I also got ripped off when I went to a food truck trackside and got a pastie.  The truck charged an extra convenience fee for payments made via credit card, but I didn't know that before I gave the guy my card.  I actually tweeted them the next day.  They said there was a sign saying such a fee will be assessed, but I made sure to snap a photo that I could send them without any fee being displayed whatsoever.  They said it must have blown away and they'll get it fixed from now on.  Good enough.  I paid cash for the tip for the pastie, as well as a Summit IPA and that scalped ticket.  Total: $22.
• Finished my night at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), which is close to the National Sports Center.  Onion rings, soup, tip: $8.
• To Friday the 9th: Had lunch at Quizno's.  Used a coupon, of course.  With tip: $8.49.
• Went to the U. of M.'s women's hockey home opener that evening, where they unfurled its latest championship banner.  And they routed ... St. Cloud St. afterward.  Oftentimes pregame ceremonies portend a loss for the home team.  Just a thought.  Anyway, I charged the hot dog and Coke, so I just paid money for the program: $1.
• After the win I went to Caffetto for hot chocolate.  Plus tip: $4.
• On Thursday the 8th I woke up and went to Caribou.  Plus cookie and tip: $6.
• I had received in change a series of consecutively-numbered, mint dollar bills.  I may have used one because I had to, but these were so new and so pristine that I don't have it in my heart to spend them.  So I keep them.  Right now they're on my nightstand in my bedroom, which was Grandmother's bedroom, which I'm not sleeping in because I prefer my sister's bedroom, which really is my bedroom.  They're just sitting there.  They're fine there, until I have to store them when my parents get back: $7 (?)
• I went downtown to interview with another job in case the one I have now fell through.  I charged enough money to my credit card, and I got out of my interview soon enough, that I still had time at the meter to dink around without leaving immediately and just wasting the money I spent to park there.  I first went to Hell's Kitchen to ask about the can of peanut butter they gave me, the one I have yet to use and am afraid has spoiled.  I then wanted to get a quick bite to eat, but the food trucks had gone by the time I got done.  However, I did not know that Bogart's Doughnuts opened up a small kiosk right in the middle of the ground floor of the IDS Center.  Who knows the next time I'll be there again, so I charged for some of their tasty donuts and paid money for the tip: $1.
• Wednesday, October 7 -- Went to St. Paul because I needed to clear up issues with my health insurance bills, which is managed by the state.  That meant more parking on the street.  Thankful I had the quarters for it: 75 cents.
• That afternoon I went to Fantastic Sam's to get my hair cut, ostensibly for the interview the next day.  With tip: $14.99.
• On Tuesday the 6th I booked two research studies at the U.  In the morning I went to one and got paid with an Infusion of: $10.
• And then later that day -- or was it later that morning? -- I did another study, and got paid with an Infusion of: $15.
• Saw Everest that day, or, er, night.  Didn't know if it was the movie version of Into Thin Air, the ground-breaking novel about a trek up to Mount Everest that turned into the largest one-day loss of life on the mountain ever.  Doing research after watching the film it turns out that it is based on a different novel about the doomed campaign.  It was on OK, if melodramatic, movie, but it kept it straight, and the novel was focused on the events on that tragic day.  And I swear there was not one single swear word uttered in the film.  You think there would be in a situation where you would die.  Ticket, popcorn, pop: $9.75.
• Went to Caffetto that evening for a slice of pumpkin pie, mocha and tip: $7.50.
• I made sure I got my stripclubbin' in.  On Monday the 5th I went downtown to see if I could get some action from the dancers that I hadn't seen in over a year.  I did not.  They weren't there.  In fact there was only one girl there, one whose name I don't remember right now because she screwed me over and promised me a job in the bed when she didn't deliver.  Poo.  Jordan was a tad better, but by then I was dead plum out of money.  Cover was ten bucks; so was the bottomless drink, so with a tip I was broke before I even sat down.  I might need to re-evaluate going here ... or at least find a free pass coupon.  Total: $152.
• And I took the bus to get there.  The visit was so bad that I left early enough for that same ticket to be good on my trip home: $1.75.

Once I again I vow to do this more frequently.  Good through November 17.

Bad Driver: 007MT

Silver Ram pick-up.  This morning, driving to work.  The thing is, this guy had a firefighter's logo on his license plate.  Oh, so just because you fight fires means you can challenge me and then just cut me off when I'm trying to get to your lane before mine runs out?  And I see you jerking back-and-forth on 494 East.  Do you know where the hell you're going?  No, but you don't mind driving fast and pissing people off while you're figuring it out.

I am shocked and disappointed at civil servants who think they can road rage on the highway.  What an asshole.

What A Fucking Bad Beat

So my fantasy football teams aren't doing so good this year, like last year.  I have three of them, and I don't think I've had one week where all of them won.  I've had two out of the three, but never all three, and that sucks because I'm stuck in the middle of my leagues' standings when I need to get up closer to the top in order to clinch a playoff spot and, fingers crossed, make some money.

Don't know if that's going to happen with three games left in the fantasy football season.  This week, tonight, for one team in particular, stands out for the excruciating way I lost.

It was neck-and-neck all day Sunday with this guy whom I've never met.  I had a lead going into the late games.  But after I came in from raking and bagging leaves with my neighbor (see previous post) I heard that Adrian Peterson sealed the Vikings' win over Oakland by breaking off an 80-yard Touchdown run.  Too bad for me that my opponent had A.P.

So what was once a lead became a 14-point swing (six for the TD, 8 for the 80 yards) and an eight-point deficit.  Therefore I had to rely on Tyler Eifert, Tight End for the Cincinnati Bengals who is having a breakout year, to score/get 80+ yards/get 8+ points somehow against a demoralized Houston Texans club.  The Bengals are undefeated and they're playing at home -- Eifert's going to get the points and give me a come-from-behind victory, right?

Well, I wouldn't be blogging about this if the answer to that question was yes.  The Bengals picked a horrible time to crap the bed, losing for the first time this season at home on Monday Night Football to a team that was 3-5 and saw its starting Quarterback taken out of the game.  Eifert: Three catches, 26 yards, no touchdown.  And a sickening loss for me.

Two of the three leagues I'm in play for money.  I'm out $125 once the football regular season's over.

The Good Neighbor

So, the leaf-raking ... I did not do as much as I could have, admittedly.  On Saturday I had dreams of doing it very early in the morning because I had nothing to do until the afternoon, and instead I went outside well past 9 and raked for, at most, an hour (and probably more like half an hour).  I gathered together the leaves on the driveway and the side ... way, behind the fence, and that was good because I mixed around the really wet leaves at the bottom of those piles, but that's all I did Saturday.

On Sunday, I woke up at 10:30 and thus got in eight hours of sleep.  Beautiful.  Too bad that I lost a whole morning that I could have used raking leaves.  And I didn't bolt outside after I woke up either; I watched The MacLaughlin Group, then checked my fantasy football teams, then I ate something at Burger King, and then I started raking the front lawn.  At 2 in the afternoon.  So sue me.

As soon as I started raking I knew this was going to be a pain-in-the-ass.  I try to be meticulous in my raking because I want to do it only once, but there were so many leaves that the raking is still going to leave bits of leaves behind.  At some point I just said screw it, I'm not going back, but I must say that after a few hours of alternately raking and having enough leaves to bag (oh yeah, I stopped raking after barely starting to go to Home Depot to get those huge paper silo bags for leaves, but the two I went to said they're sold out.  I don't believe they're sold out; I believe they just stopped selling them because it's mid-November.  Hey, it's an El Nino winter, and Minnesota still has lots of time to bag leaves.  Break the inventory pattern, Home Depot, I need bags!), my lawn was pretty leaf-free.  The downside to that was that dusk was coming, and in these days the sunlight disappears very quickly.

I really didn't think I was going to finish the front lawn, but I had dreams, you know?  So, past 5 and dusk rapidly turning into night, I decided that I'll just have to quit and take this back up next weekend.  But as I was about to close shop, this woman comes up to me while I was working on my front lawn.  That usually doesn't happen to me -- or, I would say, anyone in this state.  It's not the Minnesotan thing to do.

But I recognized her.  While I was out raking the lawn she was out raking her lawn, across the street, one house down.  I, still kind of shocked that she approached me and with, admittedly, some malevolence, said, "Can I help you?"

She answered back with pleasantries I did not deserve and an offer I could not refuse: "Well, with night falling, I was wondering if you needed help bagging these leaves."

Honestly, I don't remember the last time a neighbor has offered to do that for me.  I feel confident in saying that no neighbor has ever offered to do something like that for anyone who lives in my house.  We are an insular family.  Hell, we're a hostile one.  But like I told the neighbor during our raking (and yes, I accepted her offer; I admit that I was hoping that I could get some help, but from some angel that descended from the heavens because I didn't think anyone was just going to walk up to me and volunteer), keeping to ourselves is the Minnesotan thing to do.  A neighbor just sauntering over to help with yardwork?  That might happen in, say, the South, but not in Minnesota.  No, we keep to ourselves.  To my detriment, in the case of what I was doing yesterday afternoon/evening.

So with her help I was able to fill half a dozen bags with leaves.  We are not completely finished; it was getting late even for her.  But the two of us together, over the course of, oh, 20-5 minutes, got through a hell of a lot.  I might need an hour or two to finish the rest, but without her help I likely would have needed a whole weekend to finish the front yard.

I thanked her, profusely.  And yeah, I am indebted to her.  I have absolutely no idea how I am going to pay her back.  And -- and this is a Minnesota and/or Asian thing -- I now feel weird and kind of bad to feel, um, obligated to say hello to her when I see her outside.  But saying hi is what neighbors are supposed to do, right?

Yesterday Was A Volleyball Day. And An Eating Day

I should mark this before it gets too far into the past.  Saturday was a day where the Minnesota State High School League Girls' Volleyball Tournaments were holding their three class championships, and where the University of Minnesota volleyball team was hosting #1 Penn St. at the Sports Pavilion.  Like I said before, I would rather watch volleyball than rake leaves.  I mean, every day is better than raking leaves, but I don't know if there's ever going to be as big a day for volleyball in the Twin Cities than Saturday.

So I decided to take in lunch at Cossetta, which meant I had to leave the house early.  Like I had hoped, I went to Dinkytown and managed to find a free parking spot, then used the Green Line to go to St. Paul, thus not needing to worry about finding and/or paying for parking in St. Paul.  The championship games were hit-and-miss.  The A one was a classic, where the underdog won the first two sets but the #1 seed and six-time (?) defending champs took the next two, the fourth set in extra points, before the underdog team won the fifth.  There were two courts at the Xcel Energy Center floor for the tournament, a black curtain separating each, and the AA champ game started in the middle of the A champ game.  After the A game was over I went over to the other side, where Belle Plaine was putting the finishing touches on Concordia and a three-set sweep.

I thought about staying for the AAA championship game after I heard the Penn St.-Minnesota game (pitting the #1-ranked Nittany Lions against the fourth-ranked Gophers) was sold out, but I boarded the light rail back to the Minneapolis side just in case I could get in on my student ID.  I, in fact, couldn't -- it was that sold out.  But I bought a ticket from a scalper.  Not just any scalper -- I have a scalper I go to, and one who, apparently, is branching out in his business.  I'm kind of ashamed to admit this, but I paid $30 for a volleyball ticket.  A volleyball ticket!!!  I'm pretty sure I could have gotten into Game 5 of the WNBA Finals, where the Minnesota Lynx won this year's WNBA title, for less.  But hey, at least it was worth it because I saw the Golden Gophers sweep them Lions, and convincingly!

Since I was out, eating out, to me, naturally goes along with that.  After eating at Cossetta I had a hot dog and Coke at the X, then had time to buy a hot dog and a Coke at the Pav.  And after all that and not finding a spot to have coffee, I went home, but decided to go back out, to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place, because a couple of Pac-12 games were getting intriguing and I wanted to watch the end of those games on television.  (Turns out that the two games would up as upsets, and both of the teams I wanted to lose lost.  Yay!)  And of course I had to buy something to eat.

So I had a veal Parmesan at Cossetta, two hot dogs, two Cokes, and a soup and salad.  I thought I was going to lose weight while my parents are gone.  That's not the case.

List Of NFL Teams That Should Play Road Games Because Their Stadia Might Be Hosting College Football Conference Championship Games

I have a dream, but I don't say it out loud because I know people think it's stupid.  I would love to schedule an entire National Football League schedule, just one year.  I don't know why, I just think it'd be cool -- assuming, of course, I could do it.  Apparently four people do it every year, but I don't think it's that hard, is it?

I would imprint my values if I do it; I want to see on NFL schedules what I think should be done.  For example, I'll do as much as I can to alternate home and road games.  Also, I'll have, if possible, franchises that have relocated to play those cities late in the year, and the last game of the year if it's possible.  For example, the Baltimore Ravens would host the Indianapolis Colts, the team that was stolen from Baltimore, in the next-to-last week, and then the Ravens would play at the Cleveland Browns (remember that the Ravens are the first version of the Cleveland Browns; their name was changed as a condition of the franchise being taken from Cleveland) the last week of the regular season.

Another I would do is not tax stadia that is being shared by both NFL and college teams.  For the second and final year, TCF Bank Stadium is the home site for the Minnesota Vikings as well as the main tenant, the University of Minnesota football team.  There have been some weekends last and this year where both teams are playing on the same weekend, so I have to think that it's incredibly difficult on the stadium facility workers to turn around and change the midfield logos and the colors of "MINNESOTA" in both end zones in less than 24 hours.  Obviously they do it.  But wouldn't it be better to coordinate the Gophers' and Vikings' schedule so that there is only one game a week there?  I don't think that's too hard to ask or schedule.

This brings up something that's on my mind now.  The first Saturday in December is the weekend where college football championship games are staged.  That translates to Week 13 in the NFL schedule.  Some college football championship games are scheduled to be played in NFL stadiums.  Some conference champ games are determined by which team has the better record, and therefore the stadium won't be determined until the previous weekend.  In The Real World arrangements seem to be made where the pro game can be played a day after that championship game, but if I were the scheduler, I would make it so that the NFL team of the stadium that will or may host a champ game will be on the road that week.  And just because, I'll try and schedule the road game that takes them the farthest away from home for that week.

Anyway, there are several teams that will be occupied that Friday or Saturday, and so I would think it's a good idea to let the people working at the stadium have as much time as possible to prepare the field for the NFL tenant and not burn the midnight oil trying to turn it over in 24 hours' time.  These are the teams playing on the road the weekend of Sunday, December 6, and the college conference that would force them to play away from home:

• Detroit Lions (Mid-American)
• Atlanta Falcons (Southeastern)
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers (American Athletic)
• Philadelphia Eagles (American Athletic)
• San Diego Chargers (Mountain West)
• Carolina Panthers (Atlantic Coast)
• San Francisco 49ers (Pacific-12)
• Indianapolis Colts (Big Ten)

I know this is weird, but indulge me.

When To Rake

I need to rake the leaves.  I don't want to; I think I should mulch them, and this article says I should leave them alone, for three reasons.  It seems to be a win-win; I don't have to waste any time on it, and it's best for the environment.  But once my parents come back home and see all these decomposing leaves strewn all over the yards, there level of approval for me will find an ever-lower bottom.

But when?  Because the Vikings are away this week, and my alma mater played last night, I have the weekend all to myself, and I thought now's as good a time as any to at least start.  There's more to winterizing the lawns than just raking; I want to mow one last time, then put fertilizer on the both yards to feed it through the winter months.  It's a huge undertaking, and not all of it will be done in one weekend.  And that is allowing me to procrastinate on even beginning.  That's why I'm blogging right now.

And the thing is there are things I could do instead, and other things that I can't do that I take as a sign that I should rake the leaves.  An example of the latter is the English Premiere League, which I'm really getting into.  Initially I thought I wasn't going to do any yardwork this weekend because I was going to wake up early and watch the matches downtown with a brew.  But I saw yesterday that the EPL was taking a break for international tournament qualifying matches, which means I didn't have to go anywhere this or next morning.  So that would be perfect to rake ... right?

An example of the former, on the other hand, is my firm plans to go to St. Paul to see the finals of the high school girls' volleyball tournaments at the Xcel Energy Center, and although I read on a chatboard that the match is sold out, I am going to go to the Sports Pavilion tonight to see #4 Minnesota take on #1 Penn St. in a huge women's college volleyball match.  This is a time to gorge on volleyball, I like to see the next great crop of v-ball players, I've never seen the high school volleyball tournament, and I want to use the Green Line to shuttle between the cities.  Plus, I want to make a night of it, and a night of volleyball would be unique.  So, I could stay and do a huge chunk of the yardwork today, but I would rather bug out in the afternoon.  Early in the afternoon, in fact; I don't want to pay for any meters on the streets of St. Paul, but I want to eat at Cossetta, so I think I will park at the U. on the Minneapolis side and Green Line it to St. Paul and have enough time to eat lunch before going to the X.  And that takes time.  (And I'll need a lot more time if the Prep Bowl sucks up all the available free spots around TCF Bank Stadium; in that case I'll have to drive to St. Paul and pay for parking.)

That means I should leave around 10.  Which means I'll need to drop all my raking by then.  And I see that it's well past 9 o'clock and I haven't even stepped outside yet.

You know, yesterday I had plans that, if I were to wake up early enough, I would rake at 7 in the morning and at least be down with the leaves in the front yard before I had to go.  Oh, well.  There's always tomorrow ... and watching all the football games.  Oh, well.  There's always next week ... when the EPL is back on.  Oh, well.  My parents won't kick me out of the house, will they?

She's Really Nice, What's-Her-Name

One of the people at the new place I work with has been really nice to me -- too nice to me, consider that deep down I'm an introverted prick with panic attacks alternating with violent streaks.  She says hi to me with a smile most mornings, and yesterday she even told me where else on the floor to get coffee when the darn thermos gives me nothing but grounds.

So that's why I feel truly bad that I don't know her name.  It's common courtesy to know a co-worker's name, especially someone who has gone out of her way to make me feel like a part of this company.  Shoot, it happened just now; we met in the break room and she said hi and I said hi back, not once calling her by her name.  She could tell at this point that I don't know her name.  She has to.  Hopefully she isn't upset, and if she is, she isn't letting on.  That's a good thing, right?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Wow ... we have three teams that weren't on the survey last week, and since the winter sports are kicking in right about now, this is the busy season for the WMNSS.  Don't have a whole lot of time, I'm afraid, so I'll need to be pithy for each entry.

As they have been lately, the University of Minnesota volleyball program leads the list, this week by virtue of winning all three of their games, and that 3-0 record (along with a 13-match winning streak) compels me to give them at least a 0.

They remain stuck at #4 in the AVCA Top 25, but they still lead the Big Ten over powerhouse Penn St. ... which will come to Dinkytown this Saturday night for a mammoth matchup.  I've got to be there.  They will also host Maryland Wednesday in a game that was moved up from 7 to 6 so that the Big Ten Network can broadcast the game live.

#-1: Wrestling (Re-Entry!).  This is the club I forgot.  The U.'s wrestling team began their season at home (at Williams Arena) Saturday night with wins over for-profit Grand Canyon, Virginia and South Dakota St.  (Remember that all three duals were on the same day.)  That's great, but here's the downside: If you go to InterMat, the leading online wrestling website, you'll see that the U. is ranked in the lower twenties in both Tournament and Dual Meet ranks.  I have never seen a J Robinson-coached squad that lightly regarded in my life.  And coming on the heels of a season where they ranked first in the polls before petering out late in the season, this is a precipitous downward slide.

They have a trio of dual meets in Troy, N.Y. Sunday for the Northeast Duals.  Their foes are North Carolina, Lehigh and N.C. St.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  How the Vikes are tied with Green Bay for first place in the National Football Conference North may be the most shocking thing that this thing has done in a long time.  But their fourth win in a row, Sunday at TCF Bank Stadium over The Bastard Cleveland-By-Way-Of-Los Angeles Rams, was not without a little luck and a lot of critiques.  First of all, remember that Rams Had Coach (and enabler of dirty Defensive Coordinator Greg Williams) Jeff Fisher went for two points in the first quarter after his Running Back, Todd Gurley, scored a Touchdown; Gurley was handed the ball and ran right towards a Vikings defender well short of the goal line.  If Fisher had just took the Point After Touchdown, St. Louis would have won in regulation.

Instead, the game went into Overtime, where Head Coach Mike Zimmer made the gutsy call (once the Vikings won the coin flip -- another instance of good luck) of eschewing the decision on whether or not to take the ball and instead defended the goal that would have the wind, which was howling this day, behind their backs.  Don't know if it made any difference; the Rams went three-and-out, and the Vikings, quarterbacked by Shaun Hill after Teddy Bridgewater was knocked out on a dirty hit by the Rams' Lamarcus Joiner, just handed the ball off to Adrian Peterson.  Credit goes to the offensive line; despite the defense knowing exactly what they were going to do, they moved defenders and allowed Peterson to singlehandedly matriculate the ball for a Blair Walsh Field Goal and the 21-18 win.

And Bridgewater has been cleared to be play this Sunday late afternoon on the baseball diamond dirt at Oakland.  But even though it was very frightening to see this offense without Bridgewater under center, he still had a lot of trouble connecting with his receivers during the game.  And from here on out, Minnesota has the toughest schedule remaining on the year.  The Raiders will be a tough game; even though FiveThirtyEight says the Vikes have a 56% chance of winning the game, this Derek Carr QB seems like he's the real deal.

#-3: Twins (Re-Entry!).  I like the three surprise moves the organization made in the last 72 hours.  And I think most fans are happy that this franchise made any off-season moves at all.

First of all, on Monday, it was revealed that it was the Twins that won the bidding to negotiate with Korean slugger Byung Ho Park.  Hitting, let alone getting someone slotted to play at First Base, was not a priority for the team.  But it is astonishing, in a positive way, to see this normally parsimonious squad shell out a posting fee of $12.85 million to ensure a one-month window to negotiate with Park on a new contract.  Park, who is 29 years old, could be the next Tsuyoshi Nishioka (where the hell is he now?), but Park was wanted by a lot of Major League Baseball teams, and it is great to see the Twinks win a bidding war for once.

Then, on Tuesday, they sent Catcher/Outfielder Chris Herrmann to Arizona in exchange for Daniel Palka, an Outfielder/First Baseman whom I consider to be a low-level prospect.  But that Catcher deficit set the stage Wednesday for a bigger trade: Center Fielder Aaron Hicks to the New York Yankees for Catcher John Ryan Murphy.  Hicks was once supposed to follow Torii Hunter as The Next Great Center Fielder for the Minnesota Twins.  But it was only this year where he developed the plate discipline to prove that he had enough of an all-around game to have some sort of a career in the majors.  Turns out General Manager Terry Ryan capitalized on the trade value Hicks also developed as a result of his newfound maturity.

Put all of these moves together and you can see Ryan's master plan: Miguel Sano will in fact be mostly a Left Fielder; Byron Buxton, his ability to hit in the bigs still in major doubt in my mind, will have as many chances he can get as he starts at Center; Murphy may take over as the starting Catcher in a year or two, replacing Kurt Suzuki; and Park will spell/platoon at both First and Designated Hitter with Joe Mauer, assuming that Third Baseman Trevor Plouffe isn't also traded.  (If he is, I'm guessing there will be everyday spots for both Park and Mauer.)  These moves are mighty intriguing, and I can see the logic behind them.  In short, the moves made each of the last three days may herald The Next Great Age for the Minnesota Twins.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Unfortunately, their perfect record at home ended Thursday, when they lost to the Nashville Predators, 3-2.  Fortunately, they rebounded at the X to beat Tampa Bay and Winnipeg.  Besides the one goal they scored against the freefalling Lightning, this team is scoring.  And Thomas Vanek, much-scrutinized whipping boy, is scoring early this season, including this insane goal where he just fucking de-pantsed Paul Postma:



They have their next four games on the road, partially so the Minnesota State High School League can host the volleyball tournaments at the Xcel Energy Center. They play The Bastard Hartford Whalers, The Team That Was Stolen From Us, and Pittsburgh.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  It's early, but this is kind of weird: So far, they are undefeated on the road (this week they beat Chicago and Atlanta) but winless at home (defeats to Miami and Charlotte).  They are, that loss to the Predators notwithstanding, the anti-Wild.  But the tandem of Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns is already looking to be a dangerous one for, fingers crossed, years to come.

This will be an extremely busy screening week for the Wolves: At home to the defending NBA Champion Golden State Warriors and at Indiana back-to-back, The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Sunday at Target Center; then the Florida Two-Step (Miami and Orlando) back-to-back.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Split a series at Notre Dame over the weekend.  Sophomore Leon Bristedt is the Big Ten Third Star Of The Week for scoring three goals against the Irish in those two games.  And that's all I've got.  Well, besides that this week they have a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato -- in Mankato Friday, at Mariucci Saturday.

#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -5).  The U. isn't short on drama these days.  In yet another surprise, yesterday (Wednesday) morning Interim Head Coach Tracy Claeys had the interim tag ripped off from him, getting a three-year contract in return.  It's the culmination of decades of serving under the tutelage of Jerry Kill.  Remember, Kill's coterie is rare, if not unique, in that his assistant coaches have followed him wherever he went.  I don't know if Claeys and Offensive Coordinator Matt Limegrover ever imagined they would one day have their own team to coach even though that is naturally what coordinators would want to aspire to be.  But it's Claeys shot now, on the backs of the equally shocking news that Kill has retired due to his seizures.

I'm torn.  First of all, he's 0-2 this season, following up a blown QB sneak to Michigan to a 28-14 decision at Ohio St.  He had a 4-3 record in 2013 while filling in for Kill, but in my opinion it didn't look like this team was "rallying" for Coach Kill after he was forced to retire, formidable opposite noted.  In other words, I don't know how Claeys gets the full-time job based on performance.  And there might be an even more important reason he shouldn't have been given the job full-time: They don't even have a full-time Athletic Director.  Shouldn't the real AD hire the football coach?  How should the person who becomes the Minnesota AD feel about not being able to hire his or her own coach?  That the administration and presumably the President (with ... input from Interim Athletic Director Beth Goets?) hired the coach before the AD and not the other way around invites a host of problems down the line.

However, if I may put words in their mouths, so to speak, I can see why they did it, and I can justify it.  This off-season in College Football Nation could see an unprecedented wave of coaching hires because of the number of schools, and high-profile schools (USC, Miami, South Carolina) that are already open.  Every athletic department seems to hire these search firms and pay them hundreds of thousands of dollars for these covert interviews before telling the department who to hire.  And sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.  It all seems like a merry-go-round that does nothing but waste time and money.

In the meantime, you have this guy, this supposed heir apparent, and he's ... already there.  And I guess he treats the employees there well, and he keeps the program out of trouble, and his players will play for him (they haven't been able to win for him, but hey, baby steps).  And they not have had to find a football coach to replace Tim Brewster, but they also have recently replaced coaches for the men's and women's basketball programs.  I can just see the U. of M. athletic department breathe out a huge sigh and just say, "Fuck it, let's just hire this guy."  And I can see it that way.  I mean, we have no idea if Tracy Claeys could in fact be a good coach, maybe even better than his mentor.  At the very least the department has saved time and money from not going to a search firm and from not hiring a bigger name.

Saturday night they have the final road game of the season against Iowa in the annual fight for Floyd of Rosedale.

#-8: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6).  Before I dread over the U. side, a quick word about the scheduling of the NCAA Tournament.  I had forgotten that it's not like college basketball, where each weekend the teams play two rounds.  In soccer (at least on the women's side) there are six rounds for the 64 teams in the tourney, but they're played over four weekends in a 1-2-1-2 format.

That seems odd, but it may be a nod towards the fact that women's soccer is not a money-making sport.  Soccer is also different from basketball in that seeding an bracket placement is not mostly based on supposed strength of teams but instead is placed, especially in the first round, by geography.  I am guessing that is because many teams, particularly the ones from non-BcS conferences, would have to spend a lot of money under a format where four teams go to one of the team's campuses (presumably increasing the chance that there will be teams that have to fly long distances) and spend possibly up to, oh, four days at a hotel.  The first round is played at campus sites, so there will be 32 different pitches hosting games for the NCAAs this weekend, which means 32 different spots for all these small schools to find one place close enough to either bus to and back or, if need be, fly in the night before and leave as soon as the match is over.  That's my guess why the tournament is going through only one round this weekend instead of two.

At any rate, it might be Minnesota who's going home after this weekend.  They host South Dakota St. Friday night at Elizabeth Lyle Robbie Stadium, and Chris Henderson of Hero Sports says this could be an upset, for two reasons.  The prevailing reason is the shocking bad form the team's in right now -- winless in their last five, outscored 11-3 in that streak.  Nobody seems to be scoring anymore and the backline looks absolutely shredded.  The other reason is the Jackrabbits -- well, more like the conference they're representing.  The Summit League apparently has punched above their weight class.  Also, South Dakota St. is an experienced, upperclassmen-laden team, and that could spell a lot of trouble for a squad that appears to be very disorganized right now.

Game's at 6.  Cross your fingers.