brokedick

There is a party tonight I am going to.  I am looking forward to it because there are a lot of hot girls there, one of which, *****a, allows me to fuck her.  Of the six girls mentioned in the invite, I have been naked with a second one, I have heard of a third one I wouldn't mind whipping it out on, and the other three I haven't heard, but since the other three are hot, I think those three are hot, as well.

And I hope that when I do go balls deep into *****a, I'll be able to cum.  Because in my last several tryst with other strippers, they have not done the job -- hand, blow or rim.  It is not them -- don't blame them.  But I have lost the feeling in my down-there place.  It's not like it's numb or anything.  But when a girl has started touching my pee-pee, it's as if the nerves on my cock, which were plentiful and highly responsive in years past, and maybe even over the summer, are either dead or gone, or both.  I literally feel no pleasure.  I know that there is a sensation, but it doesn't feel sensational.  And as I have gotten more and more desperate trying to snap myself out of this anhedonia by throwing money at girl after girl, it feels as though my penis has gotten deader and deader.

I don't know what it is.  Am I fucking around with girls too much?  Am I rubbing it out too much?  Am I getting old?  Is there something wrong with me?

I will say this: My leading theory is that I am building tolerance.  Yes, I think I may be going to stripper parties too much.  As much as I say I love seeing women naked, my body is saying it's a case of been there, done that.  In fact, as much as you can build tolerance to alcohol, you might be able to build tolerance to sexual pleasure.  Really, the only way I can get off without my own hand is if I am, literally, balls deep in a girl.  That is when I feel anything close to the ecstasy I felt when doing this subversive stuff when I was younger, and even then it doesn't feel totally pleasurable.  I just cum, and right now, that's enough for me.

But I have to get to the fucking in the first place.  And then, well, I have to see if I get to rawdog *****a or not.  I would love to have sex the way God intended, but if I do get off like I want to ... well, you know the risks.  Actually, I think I would get off with or without a condom.  But -- well, what if I don't?  What if, despite being surrounded by beautiful women, and getting allowed to touch and be intimate with them -- I still don't feel anything?