Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, January 26:

• This day was the first of two consecutive Saturdays where I was filling in for one of my trainers.  He works from 6 to 2:30.  I hope to Buddha he has those hours because he has family obligations in the afternoon, because if he has those hours because he wants them, he's crazy.  But to be honest, that day went by really quickly, and well; more on that some other time.  But I had to be sure I would be awake for it, so I went to the closest Caribou between home and work that would be open before 6.  Got a large mocha for my day, and I realized it was a good time to use, for the first time, the Caribou gift card that I won playing bingo at work.  I also wanted to buy food, and so I got maple brown sugar oatmeal because oatmeal is good for you, even though brown sugar is not.  And then I was told that I had accrued enough points to get a free drink ... for, now that I think about it, the umpteenth time I've been to Caribou.  So I use the points for my mocha, then use the gift card for oatmeal, then I leave a tip in legal tender: $1.
• I went to Speedway (the new name for SuperAmerica) to get gasoline.  I have a receipt, but I wrote this down because I feel as though I am going to lose that receipt.  I have two notes of this: I thought this Speedway was pre-pay all hours of the day, but the manager on duty said that I can in fact pay inside; and I am not sure that pouring in exactly $19, thereby getting a clean dollar back in change when I went back inside, was coincidental.  If it was planned, well, automation, good call!  Total for gas: $19.
• Went to the University of Minnesota men's hockey game, vs. Wisconsin, because the concessions were rolled back to 1979 prices to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the NCAA title team, considered by many to be the best Gophers squad on ice ever.  Hot dog: $2.  Small Coke: 75 cents.  But the program was two bucks, which is what it usually costs, plus the scalped ticket was $20 when I think I could have gotten it for cheaper.  On the whole, I think the huge price break on food made this a cheaper outing to a Gopher hockey match that it would otherwise.  Add up the prices and you get: $24.75.
• Finished up at Glam Doll, which, thankfully, was open.  I have nothing pressing I need to do the next day, other than have dinner with my aunt and uncle, so I got the Bellybomb.  Probably have the late morning and, if need be, the early afternoon in case it goes through my system violently.  Oh, and if my intestines didn't get a workout from the mac-'n'-cheese donut, I got another (conventional) donut and a pour-over.  And I paid a lot for all that.  With tip: $17.64.
• Back to Thursday the 24th, where I had an HJ session with ****a.  I don't know why -- she was late and I was waiting in my car in the cold -- but she was so nice and warm and flirtatious and sensual that this time was as good as my first time being done by her.  And I came by her fingers and her fingers only.  And it only cost me: $120.
• I had these seven new quarters with new tail sides, which I think commemorate national parks or American events or something, on the kitchen counter for months, but only have I gotten around to scooping them up and putting them in the cup where I put new coins.  Seven times 25 cents equals: $1.75.
• Wednesday, January 23 ... for as long as I still have the house to myself, I am going to try and eat out at a restaurant I have not been to once a week.  This time it was Giuseppi's, an Italian restaurant between home and work.  I have not indulged in Italian in a long time, and even though eating by myself made me a bit queasy, I was glad that I went to this charming place in a standalone in a suburb.  Will I go back?  Well, if I don't, it's not because of them.  With tip it came out to: $18.
• Later that evening I went to the library because I wanted to print out documents related to my parents' companies.  But Nevada is so stupid: It's been so long since I re-registered annually for my folks that the paperwork that resulted from the re-registration is now no longer free.  Why in the hell is there a time limit on friggin' paperwork?  I now have to call these guys and, it looks like, pay a pretty penny in order to print them out, dammit.  I did print out some other stuff, and that set me back: 70 cents.
• And I checked the printer change dispenser and, lo and behold, there was change down there again!  I still am somewhat surprised that people continue to forget their change.  And I take advantage.  Sure, it's just a dime.  But it still is an Infusion of: 10 cents.
• On Tuesday the 22nd I finally saw Ralph Breaks The Internet, a movie that I thought left the theater I went to last week, but apparently it came back.  The sequel was very good.  I love that the main obstacle facing the main protagonist, Ralph, was, literally, himself.  It's a great lesson of how you need to master yourself in order to be a better person.  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $11.81.
• Back to Monday the 21st, when I went to the gym because my yearlong membership is about to run out.  In the locker room I found a penny.  Again, it's free money -- an Infusion of: 1 cent.
• Went to Great Clips to get my hair cut ... actually I went to Fantastic Sam's first, but I decided I didn't want to wait any longer than I was, plus there was something at the bank I wanted to do, and then when I passed it I saw it was closed.  Than I remembered that it was MLK that day.  And then I remembered that I had thought to remember that banks were closed that day because of MLK.  Sometimes I shake my head at myself.  But hey, at least Great Clips was open, and now I feel as if my head isn't that heavy anymore.  With tip the hair cut it cost me: $18.
• That evening I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  The place recently put up posters for this new vodka I had never heard of called Tito's.  So, on Belle's suggestion, I got a vodka cranberry.  Yeah, that's a vodka drink!  With tip, stage tips and a dance from Belle, I spent: $36.50.
• Sunday, January 20 -- went to Caffetto to work.  Grabbed a seat, thank goodness.  Carrot cake, small hot chocolate, tip: $7.48 .
• Back to Saturday the 19th, when I could finally go to the gym because I didn't have football to stay home and watch.  Found a dime there, probably in the locker room.  An Infusion of: 10 cents.
• From here I hurtle all the way back to Monday, January 14, when ******e came over to give me a handie.  Her foreplay was so flirtatious that, like I said, she got me off with no trouble at all.  I still like sex!!!  Gave her: $150.
• This was my monthly trip downtown.  This time I parked downtown so I wouldn't have to wait for the light rail.  And since I parked in a lot, I could have stayed there all day and night.  Plus I had a lot of time to look for new porno pants (my old ones are falling apart) before the soccer match.  And I had time to go to Bogart's to grab a vanilla bean buttercream donut at the Bogart's kiosk.  With tip: $4.
• I ate the donut while getting my shoes shined.  Maybe I shouldn't have done that because 1) I was drooling all over the donut and 2) I got donut dust on my shoes.  Eh.  With tip: $15.
• While getting my shoes shined (and eating the donut, and drooling), my shiner said that she prefers another donut shop not too far away from her shop.  After not finding these porno pants I wanted, I went there -- Cardigan Donuts is the name, and the cheap donut I got from them was really good.  The shop, located inside a mall, was big, but I fear the rent they have to pay and whether it will survive.  Donuts aren't an early afternoon lunch, know what I'm saying?  With tip the donut set me back: $2.50.
• Sunday, January 13: Went to Which Wich before the football games.  Had a frequent eaters' card, but was told they don't take those anymore.  Is everyone going onto apps?  Sheesh.  Charged my sandwich and chips, but I paid out a tip in cash Total: $12.52.
• After the games I went to Caffetto.  Chocolate cake, hot chocolate, tip: $7.48.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for the first time since that bartender motherfucker accused me of stealing food.  Actually, I don't quite remember what I did there.  I think I came onto WAF to put a quick draft in about what I spent -- stage tips, of course, and a Coke.  Don't think I got a lapper, so I am just going to say that I spent just: $8.
• Back to Friday, January 11, where I needed to go to a visitation for my friends' mother.  But first I thought I should at least have my face shaved, so I went to Moler.  And somehow I got the guy who cut up my face the first time and, yes, cut me again this time.  Had a huge scar on my chin.  Ah, thanks, dude.  With tip: $10.
• Don't have much to add about the visitation besides that it was tasteful and sad.  She had a full, nice and earned life.  I donated: $20.
• And I feel kind of bad about leaving the visitation after less than an hour because there was that hot party I wanted to go to.  Like I said, the only problem with this party is that I had to jerk myself off.  I won't go into details about who I got dances from, so I'll just give y'all a sum: $220.
• Let's go all the way back to Saturday, January 5, where I wanted fast food to eat before the end of the Colts-Texans Wild Card game.  (Sucks that I work on Saturdays; by the time I would've gone home straight from work, almost half of that game would already be over.)  Did not get a receipt at Burger King, but I remember using a coupon for chicken fries and fries: $3.21.
• On Friday the 4th I went to this party where I was invited by ********a.  Great that I didn't need to pay cover, but by the time I got there, ********a was so wasted I couldn't get a dance from her.  I did get two LDs from ******y, who was living there (but was not hosting the party).  She used to touch my pee-pee, but she didn't this time, and she waited until then that, I guess, she doesn't do that any more.  So why should I ever get a bed dance from you ever again?  However, a girl I had not seen in years, **y, was there.  She used to dance at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), and I remember her for being cute and for groping me.  Well, she, uh, is a lot fatter than I remember her, which took me aback.  But this time, back in the private room, where it "accidentally" slipped out, she didn't just grope me -- she yanked and pulled and backhanded and mauled me!  And I ... didn't cum.  Maybe I was surprised to see her or was put off by how she looked.  But she did all she could to make me shoot, and I am therefore sad that I could not oblige her, especially since she was OK with just two dances' worth of money.  Total: $80.
• Went to Wesley Andrews for coffee after that party.  With tip for the pourover: $4.89.
• Then went to Glam Doll for a donut and another cup of pourover coffee.  Man, my heart was beating fast that night.  Didn't sleep well.  Plus tip: $9.29.

Good through January 26.