It started off at work, where I was shifted to fill in at the second department both yesterday and today. I think I had blogged in the past that I found it the easiest, if not the most enjoyable. Well, if I had said it was the easiest, I am fucking stupid, because I felt fucking stupid at the job yesterday.
I have had a problem with this specific department of remembering what to do. I flit around jobs, but do so so infrequently that I forget. In particular, for this department I had written things down on a series of Post-It Notes (the teeny-tiny ones), and before yesterday I was determined to find them, but I can't find them.
So I came in blind yesterday, and I immediately got into a question that seems so basic to me that I did not have the courage to reach out and ask. Basically it's about whether I should stamp a form. I did not do that because, when I first had the thought, I thought, "Nah! Why do that? It doesn't seem necessary!" But I felt so guilty that late in the morning I decided to start stamping forms ... never mind that there were forms I did not stamp earlier in the day. My "switch" was confirmed correct when my direct supervisor (and the guy who trained me in this department) indeed stamped the forms that fell under this narrow "set" of guidelines.
Nevertheless, the damage is done. I have forms that are not stamped. Thing is, I don't know if anyone is going to catch me, and if I do get caught, I'm not sure how much hot water I would be in. Nevertheless, I know that I had been taught to stamp a form if that form falls under this category and that category and blah-blah-blah. There is a possibility that I will have hell to pay -- not just for screwing up, but also for seemingly changing my mind mid-stream (by starting to stamp these forms midway through the day) and not going back and changing the rest and, beyond that, not telling anyone what I had done. I really wish I had been trained more (and better) at this particular department, but if I get caught, this will fall right on me.
The only thing I can do is to go back and stamp them. I can do that -- later this month, when I have the second shift all to myself. I just have to remember that all I need to check all the folders I did from June 8 to June 11. But as you can see, remembering shit is not my strong suit.
---
Oh, later in the day I banged my coffee thermos against a wall while I was turning a corner. It got knocked out of my hand and hit the rug below. No big deal, although I recently got a new ding for that thermos when I banged it against the coffee dispenser.
But when I began drinking coffee from it, I heard a rattling inside it. I shook it; it rattled some more. Goddammit, I broke my thermos. I don't know what that jingling part is, but I'm scared that it either 1) will effect the thermos' capacity to keep in heat and thus keep my coffee warm, or 2) I will somehow swallow that loose part. And come to think of it, there's no reason it can't be both.
I need to buy a new thermos, don't I?
---
Oh, finally: I royally fucked up swiping in and out for the day. I needed to stay after work to eat the banana My Father insists I eat at work. But after staying after for a half-hour I realized I didn't goddamn clock out. It was a whole half-hour after I should have left. How stupid of me!
What makes this worse is that I consciously told myself to remember to clock in once I was ready. I was ready, but I immediately spaced out once I went to the break room and just made a beeline for the refrigerator and retrieved my banana. I then ate it while looking through my phone.
And yet, worst of all, once I realized that I would probably have to ask my boss to fix my swipe out, I had to check my swipes to see how many minutes I would get paid for. That's when I knew I really, really fucked up, since it looks like I did not swipe out for lunch. In fact, I had actually swiped in to work twice. In other words, it looks as though I just worked through lunch. So I just left a note for my boss to ask him to fix my timesheet in two different ways, neither of which I have ever done before.
---
Looking back on it I have no fucking clue how I could make two massive mistakes when it comes to swiping in and out of work. But that simply was the capper of a shitty day that no one yet knows I have endured.
I have had a problem with this specific department of remembering what to do. I flit around jobs, but do so so infrequently that I forget. In particular, for this department I had written things down on a series of Post-It Notes (the teeny-tiny ones), and before yesterday I was determined to find them, but I can't find them.
So I came in blind yesterday, and I immediately got into a question that seems so basic to me that I did not have the courage to reach out and ask. Basically it's about whether I should stamp a form. I did not do that because, when I first had the thought, I thought, "Nah! Why do that? It doesn't seem necessary!" But I felt so guilty that late in the morning I decided to start stamping forms ... never mind that there were forms I did not stamp earlier in the day. My "switch" was confirmed correct when my direct supervisor (and the guy who trained me in this department) indeed stamped the forms that fell under this narrow "set" of guidelines.
Nevertheless, the damage is done. I have forms that are not stamped. Thing is, I don't know if anyone is going to catch me, and if I do get caught, I'm not sure how much hot water I would be in. Nevertheless, I know that I had been taught to stamp a form if that form falls under this category and that category and blah-blah-blah. There is a possibility that I will have hell to pay -- not just for screwing up, but also for seemingly changing my mind mid-stream (by starting to stamp these forms midway through the day) and not going back and changing the rest and, beyond that, not telling anyone what I had done. I really wish I had been trained more (and better) at this particular department, but if I get caught, this will fall right on me.
The only thing I can do is to go back and stamp them. I can do that -- later this month, when I have the second shift all to myself. I just have to remember that all I need to check all the folders I did from June 8 to June 11. But as you can see, remembering shit is not my strong suit.
---
Oh, later in the day I banged my coffee thermos against a wall while I was turning a corner. It got knocked out of my hand and hit the rug below. No big deal, although I recently got a new ding for that thermos when I banged it against the coffee dispenser.
But when I began drinking coffee from it, I heard a rattling inside it. I shook it; it rattled some more. Goddammit, I broke my thermos. I don't know what that jingling part is, but I'm scared that it either 1) will effect the thermos' capacity to keep in heat and thus keep my coffee warm, or 2) I will somehow swallow that loose part. And come to think of it, there's no reason it can't be both.
I need to buy a new thermos, don't I?
---
Oh, finally: I royally fucked up swiping in and out for the day. I needed to stay after work to eat the banana My Father insists I eat at work. But after staying after for a half-hour I realized I didn't goddamn clock out. It was a whole half-hour after I should have left. How stupid of me!
What makes this worse is that I consciously told myself to remember to clock in once I was ready. I was ready, but I immediately spaced out once I went to the break room and just made a beeline for the refrigerator and retrieved my banana. I then ate it while looking through my phone.
And yet, worst of all, once I realized that I would probably have to ask my boss to fix my swipe out, I had to check my swipes to see how many minutes I would get paid for. That's when I knew I really, really fucked up, since it looks like I did not swipe out for lunch. In fact, I had actually swiped in to work twice. In other words, it looks as though I just worked through lunch. So I just left a note for my boss to ask him to fix my timesheet in two different ways, neither of which I have ever done before.
---
Looking back on it I have no fucking clue how I could make two massive mistakes when it comes to swiping in and out of work. But that simply was the capper of a shitty day that no one yet knows I have endured.
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