Sunday, December 22, 2019

Dion Lewis For Nyheim Hines -- I Am So Stupid

I am in the consolation championship in both of my leagues -- although, to be fair, I am only in one of those consolation championships because there are eight teams and six qualify for the actual playoffs and we two losers need to play for something and they decided to idle us for two weeks before having us face each other this week.  I finished last in both leagues after the regular year is over, so in the other league, where there was, like, an actual consolation bracket, I actually pulled off two upsets to get to today.  I may just be playing for pride, but I am proud of myself.

But it would suck if I get to this point and lose.  So I wake up this morning, pop on my Twitter, and see all these tweets breaking news that Derrick Henry of The Bastard Houston Oilers is out.  Dion Lewis will replace him as starting Running Back and, because of ... well, I'm not really sure, maybe the New Orleans Saints has a predilection to giving up massing Yards and Points to pass-catching RBs, but I thus see these same tweets, and some other tweets, saying that you have to, and I mean you just have to pick up Lewis and, because this is Championship Week and there ain't no Games after this week, start him.

I'm still freaking out about my OK-but-only-lately lineups.  In one league (the one where I didn't play the last two weeks) I have Saquon Barkley (who is, you know, Saquon Barkley) and Marlon Mack (who was predicted to have a great day against the Carolina Panthers), so I decided not to pick up Lewis in that league.  But for the other, where I can start several more players, a couple of which can be put into flex positions, I decided to take a flyer on Lewis.  And after thinking about it, I decided to not just bench but outright cut Running Back Nyheim Hines of The Bastard Baltimore Colts.

Lewis: 68 Yards rushing, 19 Yards receiving, 0 Touchdowns, 8.7 Fantasy Points for me.

Hines: 6 Yards total from scrimmage, but two Touchdowns on, of all things, Punt Returns, the first time a National Football League player has scored more than one PR TD in the same Game since Darius Reynaud playing for, of all teams, The Bastard Houston Oilers, the team of the hot shit guy I cut Hines for, sort-of ironically enough.  Oh, and 12.6 Fantasy Points.

I'm leading this Game, though barely.  I'm winning the other one in a rout.  But if I lose this Game by, like, four FPs because I dumped Hines for Lewis ... fuck me.

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