#-1: Wild (Last Week: -4). Have to give the top spot this screening week to the Wild. There is an important benchmark that just passed: Statistically, 75% of all teams that are in playoff position at American Thanksgiving will make that year's Stanley Cup Playoffs. Minnesota did not make the cut, but they are improving. Looking at the standings, there are now seven teams with fewer Points than the Wild, and there are two that also have 28.
That rise comes on the heels of a 3-0 week that was just about perfect. The night after choking on a lead at Madison Square Garden, the club held off The Bastard Colorado Rockies 3-2. The Wild then came home and crushed Ottawa 7-2. Finally, although The Bastard North Stars got a loser Point, Minnesota defeated them, 3-2, in the Shootout.
The switch was flipped largely because of Alex Stalock, whose goaltender has improved a lot lately. We will see if Alex stays locked this week as the team travels to The Southeast Division: Florida tonight/Tuesday night, Tampa Bay Thursday, Bastard Hartford Whalers Saturday night.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7). Finished the regular season with a pair of road wins -- a sweep of Rutgers followed by a four-Set victory over Penn St., which is having a down year. Then again, you could say a lot of schools are having a down year, and even though I might be a sadist, I think that includes the U.
They finish the season 23-5 overall and 17-3 in the Big Ten. For all their troubles, that puts them at the #7 overall seed for the NCAA Tournament, which was announced Sunday. The #1 overall seed, aka The Proverbial Queens Of The Hill, is, of all places, Baylor. Baylor?! And another non-traditional team, Pittsburgh, is just ahead of Minnesota as #6 overall. This is more of a topsy-turvy tourney than in years past, but I still believe that traditional power schools from traditional power conferences will advance through the bracket. That would mean that, if Minnesota were bracketed so that they would face either the Bears or the Panthers, I would deign to think they will upset either team, presumably in the Regional Final, and make it to the Final Four. But as the #7 they are bracketed against #2 Texas in their regional, and as we all know, the Longhorns are the Goofer's fucking kryptonite.
And that's not even getting into whether this club has the sack to get to their seed, i.e. reach that Regional Final with Texas. This is yet another successful season, but they still have yet to break out into championship contender. And frankly, after being burned horribly last year, I don't think they'll come close this postseason either.
(Aside: There seems to be a slight change when it comes to venues for the middle two rounds of the NCAAs. Some time ago the four Regionals were predetermined. The past couple/few years I believe the Regional was hosted by the highest of the four remaining clubs in that Regional. But according to the NCAA in its press release, the sites of the four Regionals this year will be announced Sunday the 8th. I don't quite get that. Doesn't it make overwhelming sense that one of the four teams still playing in the Regional host -- and that host would be the highest-seeded of the four? Also, remember that women's volleyball is not a revenue-generating sport. Can universities make over their arenas and pavilions and gyms to host a volleyball Regional in less than a week's time? Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but the phrasing in the release strikes me as strange and vulnerable to some strange choices when it comes to the hosts for next week.
But Minnesota has to worry about this week. They will play at Maturi, of course. Their first-round opponent is Fairfield. Survive that (they'd fucking better) and they'll host either Iowa St. or Creighton.
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). In their only Game this week, the U. castrated (I know women don't have testicles, it's a turn of phrase) Bryant, 101-56. Better to win than to lose, but this proves nothing.
How about a three-Game roadtrip to prove you're worthy? They visit Notre Dame Wednesday as part of the B1G/ACC Challenge. They then play American Sunday afternoon, the start of a DC two-step.
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6). OK, so in the first-ever Country "Classic," they blanked Harvard 4-0 Saturday afternoon. But on Friday afternoon, the score vs. Boston College was 2-2. They then had an Overtime period where no one scored, and ... the Game was over. No 3-on-3 double OT? No shootout? I guess that since they're a tournament, they can set their own Overtime rules. But what's wrong with just adopting a standard that all programs have to follow?
The annual U. S. Hockey Hall Of Fame Museum Game takes place in Prior Lake this year, where they will play Minnesota St. Saturday afternoon. That will be the last Game that counts that this team will play in 2019.
#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). Lost a close one at home Friday, to DePaul, 73-68. But I was at last/Monday night's Game versus Clemson, a part of the B1G/ACC Challenge and also the final Game of this squad's four-Game homestand, and they looked really, really good, and nothing like a team that was sporting a 3-4 record. The threes made the difference -- that and rebounding. (Aside: I was at the contest at The Barn the last time Clemson played the Gophers, four Years ago, also as a part of the B1G/ACC Challenge.) Don't know if these guys have turned a corner, but I really though the Tigers would run them out of the gym. Maybe that's progress?
Possibly to juice interest in conference play, the Big Ten is once again having its teams play conference Games in the middle of December before finishing their non-cons and going back to league play for the rest of the year. The Gophers begin that Monday at Iowa.
#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -8). Remember last week when I said the Timberwolves now have a better chance of reaching the playoffs than the Wild. Yeah, forget what I said. These players continue to reject home cooking, winning in San Antone Wednesday and then losing to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Sunday. That's fuckin' strange, and that's no way for a playoff team to act.
Very busy screening week coming up. They face Dallas and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics and The Team That Was Stolen From us v.1.0, all on the road.
#-7: Vikings (Re-Entry!). ESPN's Football Power Index actually gave the Vikes a 52% chance of beating the Seahawks last/Monday night in Seattle. The closing line, also according to ESPN, had Seattle favored only by 2 1/2 Points. This Vikes team is good, right?
Well, they could be, but they lost to the Seahawks, 37-30. To give them credit, the Vikings did try and come back from a deficit that grew to 17 in the Second Half. I did not see the Game, since I was at The Barn, but my seat was in the upper deck, and I had a good view of the suites adorning one side of Williams Arena. These are open-ended suites with seats, a buffet, and a TV, and nearly all of the TVs in the suite row were tuned to the Game. So I saw the Rudolph TD (albeit from far away), but also the Seattle TD that, I think, put them up for good.
I try not to look at the NFL playoff picture until December. Now it's December, and I see that the Vikes still hold onto the final playoff spot in the NFC. Unfortunately, they're only a Game ahead of The Bastard Cleveland-By-Way-Of-Los Angeles-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Rams. They can outlast that dysfunctional club, right?
They host Detroit Sunday. Will be there to work.
#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). Back in the day, you could argue to anyone not from Boston that Minnesota-North Dakota was The Greatest Rivalry In Men's Top-Flight College Hockey. No more. For the Fighting Hawks' part, they haven't been the same since Dave Hakstol tried to take his ware to the NHL. For the Goofers, a stunning series of conference championship results, whereby all six Games had to go Minnesota-Duluth's way in order for the Bulldogs to get into the NCAA Tournament in place of the U., has led to a precipitous fall from grace.
So while both schools tried to rekindle the hatred with a special Thanksgiving-Black Friday two-Game series, fans of both teams knew that the matchup does not have its usual firepower. And yet, after the series, it's North Dakota who can rightfully claim they're back. Because those guys came into 3M and humiliated the Golden Goofers, sweeping by scores of 3-2 Friday and, fucking Christ, 9-3 on Thanksgiving.
These guys are on a three-Game losing streak right now. They just finished up a homestand where they lost five-of-six. I understand that the mediocre last year of The Don Lucia Era stirred up restlessness in some fans. But it's starting to look more and more like Bob Motzko is making this program worse. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with those people?!
This weekend the club is at Ohio St. for two.
#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -1). I really thought they would beat Wisconsin. So much so that when a member of my alumni club announced on Facebook he had an extra ticket to the Game, I decided I wanted to take that ticket despite the forecast of snow and biting wind. (He said Friday evening, 90 minutes after I Messengered him about the ticket, that it was still up for grabs; he then edited his status update, I think in the morning, to say that it was taken.) It would be a memorable story win or lose. The U. wins and you can say that you braved the cold and saw them keep Paul Bunyan's Axe and win the Big Ten West Division for the first time ever. The U. loses and you can say that you stood out in the snow and wind just to see the Goofers lose. It was the latter for the TCF Bank Stadium crowd, and therefore I am thankful someone else took the ticket.
I managed to watch the entire Game from home, and I could see a lot of things wrong, and many of those I lay at the feet of Head Coach P. J. Fleck. As the contest wore on he insisted on trying to establish a running game, but the squad managed to run only for 76 Yards net (in college, Yards lost due to Sacks are counted against the running statistics), for an average of 2.5 Yards per carry. Meanwhile, Wisconsin ran for a total of 173 net Yards and a 4.9 average Yards per tote. Moreover, Fleck gambled a lot by blitzing, but they never sacked Badgers Quarterback Jack Coan even once. Coan burned the U. a couple of times for blitzing, though. Finally, there was a two-play Wisconsin drive in the Third Quarter (I think) which started with a reverse on the Punt Return and finished with a reverse that Kendric Pryor took 26 Yards to the house.
Wisky scored three unanswered Touchdowns, and they went on to take back the Axe by a 38-17 score. Overall, I didn't think Minnesota played terribly. They had a great First Quarter, in fact. But as the Game wore on, I came to the conclusion that more than Fleck being outcoached, Minnesota lost because there was a talent gap that wasn't yawning but was wide enough for this tilt to end up a 21-Point for the road team.
So what now? Well, they drop out of the WMNSS after this. But as for bowls, assuming Ohio St. does what is expected of them and crush the Badgers, the Golden Gophers are ticketed to the Outback (formerly the Hall of Fame [a much better name]) Bowl in Tampa on New Year's Day. It's a lofty perch, but Jerry Kill took the U. to a bowl set in New Year's Day. It has been a successful season, which included a signature victory over Penn St. Yes, losses to Iowa and Wisconsin prevented fans' wildest dreams from coming true. But a 10-2 season is nothing to sneeze at, and I want to be optimistic that this is only the beginning.
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