#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). This has been kind of a wan screening week. I give the top spot to the U. of M. female b-ballers who had a 2-0 week against forlorn competition. Well, I'll say that Notre Dame is a big name -- they lost the NCAA Championship Game last year and won the whole thing two years ago -- but going through a serious retrenching. But while victories are always good, and they firmly defeated the Fighting Irish Wednesday in South Bend, Ind., by a score of 75-67 (as part of the women's portion of the B1G/ACC Challenge), Notre Dame as of press time sit at 5-6. The club then trounced American at American Sunday (good to see BcS schools play pure road Games at low majors), 70-53, but that isn't saying much, either.
Nonetheless, after that season-opening defeat at home to Missouri St., the squad has ripped off seven in a row and is, at last nominally, in The Big Dance. And they will continue to (somewhat) pad their resume with their final non-conference road Game tonight/Tuesday night against George Washington and a Sunday afternoon Game vs. Cal-Davis.
#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). Only Game was their annual U. S. Hockey Hall Of Fame Museum Game. It is played at a local rink around town; this year it was at Prior Lake. And they defeated foe Minnesota St.-Mankato Saturday afternoon, 4-0. And the team remains first in the rankings and have only three Ties and one Loss. Results typical, yet the NCAA title Game bout against Wisconsin looms as the only possible contest in question.
Done for 2019.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -7). Yeah, I'll take a boring win. You don't need much more than that defeat the woebegone Detroit Lions like the Vikes did Sunday, 20-7. And it's not as if they weren't in control of the Game; they were. It's just hard to see how good they are against a team that is still playing hard for its Head Coach but just has too many guys hurt. Also, the NFC playoff race remains in flux, since the Los Angeles Rams soundly handled Seattle Sunday night. The Rams remain one Game behind the Vikes, and it's believed that if they wind up tied, the Rams will hold the tiebreaker. A team that is 9-4 is still not assured of the postseason.
Can they go to Carson, Calif., and defeat another woebegone team, The Los Angeles Chargers? The Chargers do not have a home-field advantage at all; I expect -- no, I demand that I see a Game with purple in the stands. And I expect/demand a Win under those conditions, too.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -1). I had once buried the Mild. I still think they haven't bottomed out yet. But nonetheless they have been playing quite well lately. They had a five-Game winning streak this past week which included Wins at Florida Tuesday and Tampa Bay. That Lightning match Thursday featured three Wild Goals in a franchise-tying record 101 Seconds and two Lightning strikes to tie the Game with Minnesota Goals virtually immediately after that first gave the Wild the lead and then the win. Sure, they got poleaxed Saturday in Raleigh, N.C., by The Bastard Hartford Whalers. But they not too long ago were worst in the NHL, and now they're ... well, only fifth-worst in the Western Conference and three Points out of the last Wild Card spot. But we only care about recent form here.
Last week they played Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday on the road. This week they play Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at home against, respectively, Anaheim, Edmonton and Philadelphia.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Yes, a team that went 2-0 for the screening week and is into its Sweet Sixteen of its tournament is ranked in the back half of my survey. That is because they followed up their sweep of Fairfield on Friday by digging themselves a 2-1 Set hole to Creighton the next night. Remember, this is at home. And they got blasted in those two Set losses, at 19 in the Second and fucking 15 in the Third. They crawled out of it to win the Second Round match, but they hung on for dear life, nipping the Bluejays in the 4th, 26-24, before coasting in the Fifth at 10.
This doesn't make me feel good. This sorry band of underachievers was about to underwhelm for a second goddamn tournament in a row. I really don't think they pull off shit like that against Florida on Friday. And even if they somehow win, the Regional Final opponent will in all likelihood be Texas, playing at home. The season should've ended last weekend; I think it'll end this weekend.
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8). I once believed that the U. was a hockey school. And so it is sad that this program has slipped into a solid irrelevance. I don't know how many of you (and I should include myself) knew that these guys were in Columbus for a two-Game series versus Ohio St. Didn't matter, I guess; both contests went past regulation, where the Goofers lost the Friday Game, 3-2, in Overtime and then won the Saturday tilt, 2-1, in Double OT. But that means that the weekend officially goes down as a Loss and a Tie, and thus two out of a possible six Points ... if I got that right? Maybe no one cares.
Off for the next three weeks.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5). The rout over Clemson appears to be a dead cat bounce. These Golden Goofers started conference play (aside: I thought playing league Games so far before the New Year was just a one-off necessitated that one year when the B1G wanted to play its conference tournament at Madison Square Garden, but because that venue is permanently reserved the week leading up to Selection Sunday by the Big East, the Big Ten decided to hold its tourney the week before, and since that eliminated a week's worth of Games, they decided to put those two in mid-December. Well, they're not playing in New York City anymore -- right? -- and yet for the past several years they have broken the seal of conference play by playing two league Games around this time of year. OK, as you were) last/Monday night at Iowa and got blitzed, 72-52. They have a lot of frontcourt muscle, but it's young, and maybe it's too tall of an ask that they gel this year.
They've got a Sunday date at home vs. Ohio St., but if they lose that one, this clearly becomes a rebuilding year.
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). I kind of don't get this team right now. Several ESPN writers convened for their weekly Power Rankings, and I assumed that because of their recent shitty form, I'd see the Woofie Dogs near the bottom. But not only do they have them not in the bottom ... they have them 14th. Like, the top half of the league.
Are you fucking kidding me? This survey was done before last/Monday night's 125-109 drubbing in Phoenix, but that now stretches the Woofs' losing streak to five Games. And yet it was only this past screening week, which include road defeats to Dallas, Oklahoma City and the Lakers (Anthony Davis dropped 50 on them in that one), where the Wolves' record fell below .500. The Power Rankings show that the Timberwolves' Defensive Rating is only 20th best, yet radio host Danny Cunningham tweeted that they are last in the NBA in Defensive Rating for the month of December. That figures; this five-Game losing streak encompasses this month. So the swoon, while familiar to most of us, is seen outside of Minnesota as a conspicuous downturn for the fortunes of this club.
At least the schedule gets lighter -- two Games instead of four. And they're both at home. Unfortunately, they're against Utah and the Clippers.
Nonetheless, after that season-opening defeat at home to Missouri St., the squad has ripped off seven in a row and is, at last nominally, in The Big Dance. And they will continue to (somewhat) pad their resume with their final non-conference road Game tonight/Tuesday night against George Washington and a Sunday afternoon Game vs. Cal-Davis.
#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). Only Game was their annual U. S. Hockey Hall Of Fame Museum Game. It is played at a local rink around town; this year it was at Prior Lake. And they defeated foe Minnesota St.-Mankato Saturday afternoon, 4-0. And the team remains first in the rankings and have only three Ties and one Loss. Results typical, yet the NCAA title Game bout against Wisconsin looms as the only possible contest in question.
Done for 2019.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -7). Yeah, I'll take a boring win. You don't need much more than that defeat the woebegone Detroit Lions like the Vikes did Sunday, 20-7. And it's not as if they weren't in control of the Game; they were. It's just hard to see how good they are against a team that is still playing hard for its Head Coach but just has too many guys hurt. Also, the NFC playoff race remains in flux, since the Los Angeles Rams soundly handled Seattle Sunday night. The Rams remain one Game behind the Vikes, and it's believed that if they wind up tied, the Rams will hold the tiebreaker. A team that is 9-4 is still not assured of the postseason.
Can they go to Carson, Calif., and defeat another woebegone team, The Los Angeles Chargers? The Chargers do not have a home-field advantage at all; I expect -- no, I demand that I see a Game with purple in the stands. And I expect/demand a Win under those conditions, too.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -1). I had once buried the Mild. I still think they haven't bottomed out yet. But nonetheless they have been playing quite well lately. They had a five-Game winning streak this past week which included Wins at Florida Tuesday and Tampa Bay. That Lightning match Thursday featured three Wild Goals in a franchise-tying record 101 Seconds and two Lightning strikes to tie the Game with Minnesota Goals virtually immediately after that first gave the Wild the lead and then the win. Sure, they got poleaxed Saturday in Raleigh, N.C., by The Bastard Hartford Whalers. But they not too long ago were worst in the NHL, and now they're ... well, only fifth-worst in the Western Conference and three Points out of the last Wild Card spot. But we only care about recent form here.
Last week they played Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday on the road. This week they play Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at home against, respectively, Anaheim, Edmonton and Philadelphia.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Yes, a team that went 2-0 for the screening week and is into its Sweet Sixteen of its tournament is ranked in the back half of my survey. That is because they followed up their sweep of Fairfield on Friday by digging themselves a 2-1 Set hole to Creighton the next night. Remember, this is at home. And they got blasted in those two Set losses, at 19 in the Second and fucking 15 in the Third. They crawled out of it to win the Second Round match, but they hung on for dear life, nipping the Bluejays in the 4th, 26-24, before coasting in the Fifth at 10.
This doesn't make me feel good. This sorry band of underachievers was about to underwhelm for a second goddamn tournament in a row. I really don't think they pull off shit like that against Florida on Friday. And even if they somehow win, the Regional Final opponent will in all likelihood be Texas, playing at home. The season should've ended last weekend; I think it'll end this weekend.
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8). I once believed that the U. was a hockey school. And so it is sad that this program has slipped into a solid irrelevance. I don't know how many of you (and I should include myself) knew that these guys were in Columbus for a two-Game series versus Ohio St. Didn't matter, I guess; both contests went past regulation, where the Goofers lost the Friday Game, 3-2, in Overtime and then won the Saturday tilt, 2-1, in Double OT. But that means that the weekend officially goes down as a Loss and a Tie, and thus two out of a possible six Points ... if I got that right? Maybe no one cares.
Off for the next three weeks.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5). The rout over Clemson appears to be a dead cat bounce. These Golden Goofers started conference play (aside: I thought playing league Games so far before the New Year was just a one-off necessitated that one year when the B1G wanted to play its conference tournament at Madison Square Garden, but because that venue is permanently reserved the week leading up to Selection Sunday by the Big East, the Big Ten decided to hold its tourney the week before, and since that eliminated a week's worth of Games, they decided to put those two in mid-December. Well, they're not playing in New York City anymore -- right? -- and yet for the past several years they have broken the seal of conference play by playing two league Games around this time of year. OK, as you were) last/Monday night at Iowa and got blitzed, 72-52. They have a lot of frontcourt muscle, but it's young, and maybe it's too tall of an ask that they gel this year.
They've got a Sunday date at home vs. Ohio St., but if they lose that one, this clearly becomes a rebuilding year.
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). I kind of don't get this team right now. Several ESPN writers convened for their weekly Power Rankings, and I assumed that because of their recent shitty form, I'd see the Woofie Dogs near the bottom. But not only do they have them not in the bottom ... they have them 14th. Like, the top half of the league.
Are you fucking kidding me? This survey was done before last/Monday night's 125-109 drubbing in Phoenix, but that now stretches the Woofs' losing streak to five Games. And yet it was only this past screening week, which include road defeats to Dallas, Oklahoma City and the Lakers (Anthony Davis dropped 50 on them in that one), where the Wolves' record fell below .500. The Power Rankings show that the Timberwolves' Defensive Rating is only 20th best, yet radio host Danny Cunningham tweeted that they are last in the NBA in Defensive Rating for the month of December. That figures; this five-Game losing streak encompasses this month. So the swoon, while familiar to most of us, is seen outside of Minnesota as a conspicuous downturn for the fortunes of this club.
At least the schedule gets lighter -- two Games instead of four. And they're both at home. Unfortunately, they're against Utah and the Clippers.
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