The Double Bind

The meetings with my alma mater's alumni association about re-establishing official ties has hit a snag.  We did not Zoom Sunday, and that may have been because we were all busy, or it may be an indication that there is nothing new, or left, to talk about.  I don't really know where we stand, but it's not looking good.

Combine that with my school deciding to play football Games before the New Year after all.  Back in August the conference my school was in decided they would delay all fall sports into 2021.  They changed their mind because, they say, they got access to rapid tests.  I'm sure it was because of the money, and because of pressure from crazy-ass anti-maskers.

That situation creates a dynamic where I can win in one area but lose in another.  Football Games are a huge deal for my university, and so with the resumption of football, Game-watching parties will once again become a hot topic.  I am very, very reluctant to hold one this season, however, because of the pandemic; the two places my ex-club goes to to watch Games does not have an outdoor patio with a TV.  We would have to be stuck inside for more than three Hours, and that is a perfect environment in which the coronavirus can spread.

Now, how does the alumni association feel about the prospect of alumni gathering together to watch Games?  But then I have to stop myself: There are no longer alumni chapters, so who cares what they think?  We basically can do whatever the hell we want.

But I can see people who feel burned by the AA taking this a step further.  Assuming that my university is asking alums not to congregate together indoors to watch football (I think this is a logical step, but I have no idea if the university will even make that declaration), would pissed-off alumni say, "Screw you!  You can't tell us what to do anymore because you cut us loose!"  We're gonna watch Games together!  Indoors!  Without masks!  And you can't do a goddamn thing about it!"  I can envision alums watching Games together not only because it's football, but also because they will see it as a way to stick it to the alma mater that turned its back on them/us.

This, I'm afraid, would be a way of cutting off your nose to spite your face, or, in current political terms, "owning the libs."  I think people will risk their health, and maybe even their lives, to do something that our alma mater will maybe/probably tell us not to do.  They think that if we do accede to the university's wishes not to get together, we will be knuckling under to the folks that disbanded our alumni clubs, and we cannot be that submissive.

So, I have to stick it to the AA and watch Games together, unsafely, and potentially spread a killer virus to my fellow alums and friends, or catch it myself?  Or I tell people we will not be meeting together and thus act like a cuckold to the people that killed off alumni relations (and, to be honest [even though this has nothing to do with our Resistance's current fight with the AA], lose all continuity with local alums who know that we watch Games together in downtown Minneapolis)?

I lose one way or the other.  So I don't know what I'm going to do.  Meanwhile, they start play in three Weeks, and if I'm going to be responsible, I need to tell local alums my plans ASAP.

My psychologist calls situations like this, where I lose one thing or another, a "double bind."  I fucking hate double blinds.