So back to ******a, the stripper whom I have been getting massages from at her place and with whom I had convinced to massage me naked so I could parade my dick in front of her ... the last time I went she asked me to keep my underwear on because, and this is what she said, she had recently started seeing someone and promised him that the massages she does are to men who are not naked. This is somewhat damaging to my fantasy of getting massaged naked, but if she wants to be, uh, "faithful" to this person (who, by the way, she said she started seeing only a couple weeks before), this would make sense, and I am not one to do anything that could ruin a relationship.
Provided the relationship is healthy. Need to throw that in because of what happened Thursday, I think. I wanted to get another massage session in (with underwear on, that's fine), so I texted ******a. We settled on a time, and then she said, "OK, I'll run it by my boyfriend. Can you text me in the morning to see if it's OK?"
Yeah. Red flags, everywhere. I remember taking a class at the U. -- over one summer while I was in college, I believe -- and even though I don't remember the class subject, there was a guest speaker who worked at a domestic violence shelter. He said something that was very informative, yet also kind of haunts me to this day. The first thing a domestic abuser wants to do to his victim is cut off her relationships in order to isolate her. It always starts innocently enough, according to this expert: "Man, your cousin, she's kind of judgmental! Why do you hang out with her? Let's just Netflix and chill instead!" Pretty soon, no one hangs out with her because all she does is try and please her man at home. And she inevitably fails at that because eventually he will get pissed at something she does, or doesn't do, and he'll beat her.
And it all starts with convincing her to stop talking to her friends. That is what I get when she, essentially, is running to her boyfriend asking for permission to massage me. Giving massages is (or was) how ******a gets her money. More importantly, she is (or was) offering a service to which I took her up on. There have been no happy endings, as much as I try. And yet now, a grown-ass woman, is seeking permission to do something she had been doing without needing anyone's permission before she met him? She never struck me as someone having the personality of a battered spouse. But as out of the blue as this is, that text is a bad, troubling sign.
(Caveat: She is not a battered spouse to my knowledge, but I feel as though she is, uh, flighty. Maybe she doesn't need permission from her boyfriend. I have wondered, frankly, if she has a boyfriend at all. She could be lying to me because I had not taken her up on her initial ask of giving me massages more frequently than sporadically.)
I love ******a. But I know better than to inject myself into a dangerous situation with a controlling man who sounds like he has the ability to hurt someone -- probably her, and maybe Other Guys like me. So I will text her this morning (if not now) and see what her boyfriend said. I suspect she will say no, I cannot come, to which I will extricate myself from seeing her at all (or at least until she dumps him -- and he stays away), tell her she can reach out to me if she needs to, and wish her well.
And then I will hope I won't see her in the news.
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