#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). Ho. Ly. Shit. They traded with Utah for Ruby Gobert.
None of the other teams playing this Week blew us out of the water, so the off-season T-Wolves get the top spot in this WMNSS for, well, blowing our dicks off with The Biggest Trade In The NBA since ... well, since the Russell Westbrook and James Harden trades not too long ago. But frankly, this trade still might be of a magnitude larger than those. Look what Minnesota gave up for Gobert:
- Malik Beasley, the guy who met a couple in a car on his driveway with a gun;
- Patrick Beverly, who, now that he's not a dick on my team, is just a dick;
- Jarred Vanderbilt -- no snark, this one hurts;
- Leandro Bolmaro, a guy who's so off the edge of the earth that some people relaying this trade just leave his name off it;
- Walker Kessler, the guy the Wolves just drafted last Week -- I even praised them for it!
- A First-Round pick in the 2023 Draft, unprotected;
- A First-Round pick in the 2025 Draft, unprotected;
- First-Round pick swaps with The Bastard New Orleans Jazz in the 2026 Draft;
- A First-Round pick in the 2027 Draft, unprotected;
- A First-Round pick in the 2029 Draft, reported top-5 protected -- I didn't know you could trade Draft picks seven Years from now!
Again, all of that for Rudy Gobert ... a three-time Defensive Player Of The Year and arguably still The Best Rim Protector In The NBA. Despite the Timberwolves marked improvement on Defense, protecting the rim remained a glaring weakness, and even though Karl-Anthony Towns gave more than a damn at his own end of the court, he could and/or would only do so much. If you go by traditional position characteristics, he is a Power Forward. That means sliding The Stifle Tower into the 5 solves a bevy of problems. KAT can now defend the wing; moreover, the collection of Wolves still on the team have enough defensive mettle that they can guard enough one-on-one that Gobert should be able to help for any drives to the basket. Meanwhile, Gobert can replace some pick-and-rolls so that KAT can remain out in the perimeter, which is a preference he hasn't been able to shake his entire career. In many ways, this is a perfect fit.
The Wolves are also trading for Gobert, a guy who's 30, has never taken gotten the Jazz into the Western Conference Finals, and is useless whenever the opposing team plays five small players and stays away from the rim. The thinking is that once the playoffs begin, teams such as the Golden State Warriors will play small ball and play Gobert off the court. It's happened many times before, and given the success the Jazz has had, it's worked many times before.
I don't know how close they were to a championship after this past season, but I do see making a move like this. If you believe the often-told adage that NBA players don't want to go play in Minnesota, the Timberwolves had to overpay to get a player of Gobert's caliber. Glen Taylor, Marc Lore and Alex Rodriguez are going all-in for a team that had to win a Play-In, and if this squad remains on the ascendancy, the picks aren't going to be all that great. With KAT still in his prime, D'Angelo Russell presumably still on the team and running the point, and Anthony Edwards hopefully still improving his game, there's reason to believe they could win it all, and win it now. So what are picks, or players, or luxury tax money, for that matter?
But shit, man, that's a lot of guys and picks to give up. Plus they're going to be in salary cap hell as soon as Edwards is able to get his max contract. (If that's the case, and if A-Rod and Lore aren't willing to pay the tax, Russell might be the next guy to go.) And what happens if Gobert is forced to disappear in the playoffs? I can see one early exit being palatable to the fanbase. But a second? No way. If this tactical move turns out to be an easily-sussed-out disaster, Chris Finch loses his job like that, and the ceiling on this organization comes crashing down like an elevator in free fall.
But hey, right now, this is big and exciting fucking news. Timberwolves, beat on your chest.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3). I'm not ready to say I was wrong for saying the Twins should not have re-signed Byron Buxton. There's still a lot of season left. But:
Yeah, this shit is awesome. And I can't deny that this ballclub plays better with Buxton in the lineup. I mean, the ABC lineup at the top of the lineup is The Most Exciting 1-2-3 punch in Major League Baseball (and shut the fuck up, Yankees fans). This franchise knows how to do above-average production very well.
And yet they shuffled through a 5-3 screening Week. They took the last two Games vs. the Colorado Rockies at Target, and that Game-ender by Buck beat The Bastard St. Louis Browns last/Friday night at home. But mid-week they were in Cleveland and lost three-of-five (there was a make-up tilt included in that four-Day series). They had a lead in all three defeats. Thursday's Loss, where they were up 3-1 in the Eighth and Tyler Thornburg was the one who coughed up the lead and the Game, was, I think, the fourth Game versus the Guardians the past two Weeks where the Twinks were leading as of the middle of the Eighth Inning and lost. As of press time they are 1 1/2 Games up on Cleveland, and the Guardians are heading into a stretch of tough opponents and a slew of make-up contests, but this is why these guys are second here.
After finishing up with the Orioles this weekend, they start a three-Game set against the White Sox in Comiskey starting Independence Night. They're in Texas to face The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 for a trio beginning Friday.
#-3: United FC (Last Week: -4). Remain infuriatingly inscrutable. On Saturday in Miami the Loons held a 1-0 lead into the 86th Minute and then gave up the Match-tying and -winning Goals to Inter Miami's Indiana Vassilev. I was working out and saw the equalizer and turned the channel. I later decided to check the score on my phone and the Yahoo! Sports app. If they did blow yet another Game, it would easier to take it as a minimalist score on my phone ... but they'll at least draw, right? Nope; the 1-0 mid-Game score turned into a 2-1 final, and I just about goddamn through my phone against the wall of the exercise room.
And Jesus fuck, they almost choked on another lead Wednesday! This time they built a 3-0 lead in the First Half and had to hang on for dear life after the Los Angeles Galaxy scored in the 59th and the 93rd. Both MNUFC's Joseph Rosales and the Galaxy's Douglas Costa got red-carded at the end of the Match for a fracas, but goddamn, at least this team actually won from a winning position ... and on the road, no less. So while they're still on the outside looking in, right now they're only two Points off a playoff spot.
It ain't June anymore, so there will be home Games again, starting tomorrow/Sunday night against a hearty Real Salt Lake XI. It's going to continue to be busy with two Matches per Week; on Friday they travel to Vancouver.
#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -1). A 1-2 Week, and I am encouraged by the results ... ? They started off losing in Chicago, but only by three. They then came home and drilled a Bastard Detroit/Tulsa Shock club by 28 on Tuesday. Then, they battled Las Vegas at Target before losing to The Bastard Utah Starzzz/San Antonio Silver Stars by six last/Friday night. The return of Sylvia Fowles has more than buoyed this team; Fowles was playing when the Lynx were routinely getting outplayed. So maybe they're jelling. Maybe.
The Aces are staying in town because they're playing the Lynx again tomorrow/Sunday night. They then continue a six-Game homestand (that abridges the Women's National Basketball Association All-Star Game) by hosting Chicago (which is hosting the WNBA ASG) on Wednesday.
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