#-1: United FC (Last Week: -3). I'm going to start of this survey by saying there really weren't any losers this Week. All four teams that will appear on the WMNSS had pretty good Weeks, considering. So, for all those ranked behind the Loons, don't feel bad, please -- you're all did good this screening Week!
There is a lot of drama coming out of MNUFC, but as much as there is on the pitch, there probably is more off it. But let's start with the good news, which is this outfit won both their Matches this screening Week, and did so in different ways. On Sunday night at Allianz Field, Minnesota was up 3-0 and, once again, ran out of gas and played stupid after 70 Minutes, giving up a pair of Real Salt Lake Goals five Minutes apart. They hung on for dear life to win, but considering that this collapsing late in Matches seems to have become a pattern, I didn't have too much joy in my heart to sing "Wonderwall."
Then, last/Friday night, I was able to catch most of their tilt at Vancouver on free TV (thanks, CW Twin Cities!), which in many ways turned into the precise opposite of Loons Matches as of late. It was scoreless after the First Half, but Lucas Cavallini put the Whitecaps up in the 66th, at which point I turned off the TV because I didn't think United FC, who were playing on the road with two players out long-term (Hassani Dotson and Romain Metanire) and one out short-term (Kervin Arriaga), were going to come back. But in another inversion from the Inter Miami Game, I looked at sports scores in my Yahoo! Sports app when I knew the Match was done and the 1-0 scoreline that initially popped up calcified into a 1-3 Win for the Loons?!?!?! Yeah, they showed some late-Game heart and effort!!! And the three Goals they scored were all after the 70th Minute!!!
So MNUFC have now won three in a row. They've scored three Goals in all three victories, the first time they've scored at least three in three straight Games since, if I recall correctly, August 2020. And after sitting well below the playoff line most of the season, as of press time they are in postseason position, technically fifth but specifically in a four-way tie for fourth. Best of all? Wednesday's home tilt versus Sporting Kansas City is the first of five straight contests against clubs that don't have a playoff spot as of now. Make hay, Loons.
OK, so the off-pitch shit. Recent splendid run of form aside, the slump MNUFC was in has only deepened the animosity toward the franchise. It's gotten beyond #HeathOut, frankly, to complaining about all aspects of the organization. This Week, the team put out a newsletter for season ticket-holders, including giveaways for those who are committing to stay STHs for 2023. Now, this Year the squad got a lot of shit for the, well, shitty gifts they sent us. The options were socks, stickers and what I chose to get, sunglasses. Chintzy trinkets, and it did not go unnoticed from me. In the newsletter, the organization said that "listened" and they are going to offer next Year actual STH benefits, namely deep discounts on concessions or extra seats, a scarf, or, uh, a postcard.
There are people on Twitter who just got even more pissed off at the team. They took the "we listened" phrase as a slap in the face, they went on a tirade about how the team continues to be a failure on the field, and that everybody in the front office needs to be fired. And they really went on about how arrogant the team sounds, and that they remain out of touch, and that they don't give a fuck about their supporters. This has coincided with a couple other gripes, such as (and this is from a couple Weeks ago, and I apologize for not talking about that then) not commenting on the Supreme Court of the United States killing off Roe v. Wade, like women's soccer club Aurora FC did, and a response by the organization to some Allianz Field workers pushing to unionize with a legalese-riddled letter that basically says they're going to try and prevent the union drive from happening.
OK, we should have more unions, just because the capitalist structure we have now ain't working that well. And I notice the silence from MNUFC, but (and I could be naive here), them not saying anything doesn't mean they're anti-choice. But the big thing that makes me roll my eyes is the ... shit, I'll say it ... cancel culture erupting from some parts of the supporters. I don't know how in the hell they're getting "disrespecting the fans" from this season. I think I can accuse the front office of incompetence; they've shown that many times. But disrespect? That comes from a different department, the salespeople, and they've done a pretty good job. No, this Year's gifts were bullshit, but they're trying to fix that for next season. But that doesn't seem to be enough for some fans who are basically trying to, well, pull a Jill Stein and gin up outrage to the point where the relationship between supporters and club will dissolve, being replaced by ... I have no idea what their solution is.
If I stop being a season ticket-holder, it'll be because I've gone bankrupt, I've moved, or this organization does or is so horrible for many, many seasons that I get fed up. My bullshit tolerance bucket appears to be the size of a water tower while others have the size of a thimble. I wonder if those people notice that the team they're supposedly fighting for has won three in a row, have scored three Goals in each of those Wins, and are back in a playoff spot. The troll in me wants the scarf gift to say, "We listened." Fucking calm down, haters.
Fortunately, as of press time, Minnesota enjoys a 4 1/2 Game lead on the Cleveland Guardians. The Guardians are now entering a difficult part of their schedule, and the young team has just gone 3-7 in the ballclub's last ten. Hey, so long as Minnesota doesn't have to play Cleveland, Minnesota probably will lead the Division!
After finishing up in Arlington this weekend, the Nine are back home to finish the first half of the season. They have two Games vs. The Bastard Seattle Pilots starting Tuesday, then four Games against The Pale Hose beginning on Thursday before the All-Star Break commences.
#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -4). Are the Lynx in the middle of a turnaround? Many writers say so, but with only 12 teams and more really good players who can't even get on a squad, shit, every team can have a turnaround in the same season.
Look, they went undefeated this screening Week, and look at who they beat. On Sunday, they split their two-Game set with Las Vegas by trouncing them, 102-71. Wednesday's showdown with Chicago was closer, but they beat them, 81-78. Now to throw cold water on everything. First, both Wins were at home. Second, they still have the second-worst record in the WNBA although, to be fair, they are only 2 1/2 Games out of a playoff spot. Third, we don't now if Napheesa Collier is coming back this Year. And Fourth, Sylvia Fowles will still end her professional career not lifting the trophy. But yes, it's a good recent run of form.
This is the league's All-Star Break, being held in Chicago. Fowles is the only Lynx rep. She is probably being feted, and rightfully so. But the second half of the season starts up again quickly, and massively: Home to Phoenix Tuesday, then another home Game against Dallas Thursday before visiting Indiana the following evening.
#-4: Wild (Re-Entry!). This Year, I thought about watching the NHL Draft the same I did the NFL and NBA Drafts: By going to Bunny's Northeast. Don't know why, in particular, but selecting the next stars and seeing downtrodden teams take steps toward casting off their bad seasons and hoping for brighter futures makes my heart feel lighter. Doing that means going out to eat. That used to be Hooters, but that's too far to drive. It was also Buffalo Wild Wings, but I lost all the points I accrued eating there because of the pandemic, and I haven't gone back since. Bunny's NE seemed like a good sports bar, and I went there twice, and I wanted to go back there a third time.
However, I didn't go. For one thing, you will notice that draft coverage for the NHL (and MLB, for that matter) pale in comparison than that for the NFL and NBA because college hockey and baseball are not followed as much or well as college football and basketball. Can I really bask in the glory of seeing the next generation of hockey players when I don't even know who the hell these young men are? For another thing, the Wild had two picks, but at 19 and 24. If I watch a draft, I want to see who gets picked #1, but I also want to see my team's picks, and 19 picks are a long time to sit at a bar and eat.
Oh, and then I had to work in The Fourth Department, and Thursday I was at work till 6:30, so I missed the start of the draft, so there was no use to go to Bunny's Northeast then. And, finally, on Tuesday Bunny's NE abruptly went out of business. So there.
Anyway, in the First Round of the NHL Draft, the Wild selected Swedish LW Liam Ohgren at #19 and Russian RW Danila Yurov at #24. Like I said, I had no idea either young man existed on this temporal plane until they were picked. So I'm going to rely on experts, and most of them say that these were excellent picks that replenished the Wild's pipeline, which is dominated with Defensemen. OK, so Minnesota had a good draft.
So why do I have the Wild last in the WMNSS? No reason, really. But this Cam Talbot situation is getting to be an embarrassment. He dutifully splits time with Kaapo Kahkonen during last season. Kahkonen gets traded to San Jose, but General Manager Bill Guerin trades for supposed playoff talisman and former teammate Marc-Andre Fleury, so Talbot is still splitting time. He does a good job -- but because it's Flower, he gets benched the first five Games of the series against the St. Louis Blues. The team only goes to Talbot for Game 6, which they lost, thus ending their season. Talbot vents some frustration, so does his wife, but that seems to be it.
Going into the draft, there was some debate as to whether Minnesota was going to sign Fleury. They did, hours before the draft, for another two Years. Where does that leave Talbot? It wasn't as if he was going to be the #1 guy, nor should he be. But the guy Guerin apparently has replaced him in all aspects but in name is still there. Is Talbot happy? His agent isn't, telling reporters that Guerin "has a lot to think about" considering his client is a Year away from being an Unrestricted Free Agent. Guerin, uh, disagreed: "I don't have shit to do," he responded, "[the agent] can say whatever the hell he wants. My team's set right now, and that's the way it goes."
Assuming the agent is doing what Cam Talbot wants him to do, he cannot be happy at how he's being treated. Guerin could do better by him. And, frankly, he has lost a lot of currency with the fanbase because the high-flying squad he constructed went one-and-done again, and the team has 12-14 fewer million dollars to spend for the next three seasons because he was the one who bought out the contracts of Zach Parise and Ryan Suter. Oh, and it's increasingly looking like Russia isn't letting Kirill Kaprizov leave the country.
Now that I write all of this, it's clear why I have the Wild last in this Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. Still, good draft!
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