I'm Happy For Her! I Really Am!

Sometimes it's weird to see the strippers in my life lead lives beyond being strippers, you know?  I have to remember that these are women who are not one-dimensional.  I may get hard over that one dimension, but I don't own them.  They have ambitions, dreams, family and friends that have nothing to do with me.  I love that, actually.  I love women that have well-rounded lives, and the fact that I am Facebook friends with many of them makes me feel honored; they trust me to be a part of their lives, arm's-length that it may be, that they might be hiding from their loved ones.  I may fantasize about having sex with all of them, but right now I hold a level of friendship (and, dare I say, love) with them that I will never take lightly.

Nevertheless, it is jarring to see one of my stripper girlfriends fall head over heels in love -- not sex worker love, but actual love.  That is what happened with *****a, someone who has come over and given me handjobs over the years.  I had no idea she was even looking for a boyfriend until I saw Reel after Reel (is that what they're called on Facebook?) of her holding and kissing this guy.  I've only seen this for about a few weeks, but it looks like she is in luuuuuuuuuuuuv.

I'm happy for her.  Really, I am!  I'm not jealous of him at all.  Again, I don't own her.  And she doesn't owe me her loyalty; shit, guys, I get handjobs from all sorts of stripper girlfriends, and I don't plan on giving that up for a long, long time!  I really hope this works out, in fact.  For all the love she's given me, I really do want what makes her happy.  And right now (fingers crossed), it looks like it's this dude.

And yet I miss her.  We have had our difficulties arranging our schedules so that she can make her vicious, hand-lovin' housecalls.  Couple months ago, in fact, we agreed she'd come over, but, well, "something came up."  I wonder if any chance of getting an HJ from her has gone by the wayside because of this cancellation.  It would be weird, after all, if we fucked around even after she's gotten into a committed relationship.

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So My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) is now over four years dead.  (By the way, it closed down near the very end of 2019 -- right before the pandemic.  If it didn't close on its own, there was a good chance it would've gone out of business because of lockdown.  Fantastic timing.)  I would not have the breadth of stripper girlfriends I have if not for a place like this.  With no cover, relatively cheap drinks and the ability to just sit and hang without the pressure of getting dances, I was able to go there dozens, if not hundreds, of times without completely driving myself into bankruptcy.  I was also able to cultivate relationships with the strippers, many of whom trusted me enough to take that next step and actually do sexual things in private stripper parties that I only imagined happened at strip clubs.  The decision to have that as a hobby probably comes at great cost if I ever attempt to attain a higher public profile.  But since I don't pursue that (for now), this is our little secret, and one that I cherish.

That being said, my circle of stripper girlfriends is now static.  There is no club and so there are no fresh strippers to get to know.  I have who I have.  And while I am deeply grateful being a part of their lives, *****a is an example of what could happen when we grow apart.  It's inevitable, and yet I am saddened and a little scared that these beautiful women whom I have seen naked so often will eventually exit my life.  It's not easy now that there is no "third space" like My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition).  Time makes it more difficult.  And then circumstances, or finding someone, or life, cleaves a wedge that may never be stitched back together.  It happens.  I don't know if I'm ready, though, especially if all my stripper girlfriends go away in the end.

But I'm happy for *****a.  I really am!