The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's tennis (FIRST TIME EVER!!!).  There are many U. sports I probably will never follow on a regular basis.  The Survey is big enough as it is, and I have had to leave off many sports I simply have not followed when I was young.  Tennis is one of them.

Nevertheless, when looking at what the Golden Gopher softball and baseball teams are doing, I noticed that the men's tennis squad is making some big noise in the NCAA Tournament.  Unranked in the tourney but ranked 37th in the polls (what poll?  Beats me!), they upset #19 Georgia in the First Round, then swept 14-seed (and Regional host) Oklahoma in the Second.  For the first time since 2000, the Golden Gophers are in the men's tennis version of the Sweet Sixteen!  Congratulations to them!

The rest of the racket bracket will be held at Wake Forest in Winston-Salem, N.C., next weekend.  Friday at 11 Central they have a rematch with Big Ten foe, and third-overall tournament seed, Ohio St., who beat the Gophs in the regular season and eliminated them in the Semifinals of the B1G Tournament.  Good luck!

#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  Did not know this: The U., in winning the Big Ten Tournament yesterday/Sunday, have won their their straight conference tourney title, fourth in five years, and fifth overall.  That is a hell of an accomplishment, and so congrats go out to them on a successful weekend in Madison, Wisc.

It was a wet weekend, too.  It is weird that while the Twin Cities had great weather (besides a cloudy and cool Friday), Madison, a city not too far from here in the global scheme of things, was racked with "inclement weather."  The league wasn't able to squeeze all four First Round games in on Thursday, and that started a domino effect (including more weather delays) which resulted in the Final, which was scheduled for Saturday night, getting pushed into Sunday morning.

No matter for the softball Nine.  Despite playing as the road team (why is that?  They were the higher-seeded team), the second-seeded Gophers dispatched 4-seed Northwestern (top-seed Michigan was bounced in the Quarterfinal by 8-seed Michigan St.) post-haste, 9-6.  The most challenging of the three matches the club had was the Quarterfinal vs. Indiana.  The U. coughed up a 3-0 lead as the Hoosiers plated four in the top of the Fifth Inning.  But Minnesota scored two in the bottom of the frame to take back the lead, then cemented the win with four in the sixth.

The team finished the season winning 19 of their last 20 games, and records of 17-4 in-conference and 39-15 overall.  I had a passing thought that the U. might actually get to host a Regional this year.  Oh, silly me.  Not only are they shipping out to Seattle to be a part of 5-seed Washington's Regional, they are the 3-seed in the four-team pod.  Well, that formidable non-conference slate, and going only 22-11 against it, kind of doomed their chances of being seen at least as one of the 16-best teams in College Softball Nation.  (I also overlooked, for most of the season, that the U. is only in the Top 25 of one of the three polls I could find on the Internet.)  That uphill climb, along with the sour taste I still have in my mouth about how the NCAA done the Gophs dirty, and then subsequently proved them right, busts them down to non-positive numbers.  Nevertheless, this is a damn good team, led by B1G Player Of The Year Kendyl Lindaman (who has replaced Sara Groenewegen as The Next Legend In The Golden Gopher Softball Program), Outfielder and Tournament Most Outstanding Player Maddie Houlihan, Second Baseman MaKenna Partain and Pitcher Amber Fiser.  They can make noise this year and the years to come.

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: 0).  Surprised that the fam did not schedule any Mother's Day festivities for the weekend, so any potential time crunch whereby I would not be able to watch either the United match (on second thought maybe that wasn't such a good thing; see below) Saturday or the Gopher baseball home finale versus Michigan St. Sunday completely went by the wayside.  I was able to take in my annual sojourn to Siebert Field and watch the Gophers beat the Spartans 3-1 in a tight contest.  I was more impressed with the relievers who relieved the starters.  Mitchell Tyranski struck out three and allowed only two baserunners (one of which turned into Minnesota's insurance Run) in two Innings of work; Max Meyer replaced Jake Stevenson with two outs in the Sixth and a 2-1 lead and got a ten-Out Save, his 13th Save of the year.  Half of those Outs came via Strikeout.  I knew that the lineup could rake, even though they really didn't do that yesterday/Sunday.  But that Meyer man, man is he lights out.

But the Gophs did not sweep.  They doubled-up the Spartans on Saturday, 10-5, coming back from a 4-1 deficit to score eight in the Seventh Inning.  But Sparty broke a 5-all tie with a Run in the top of the Sixth to take Friday's series-opener.  I don't know how much margin of error this club has.  I would love to see these guys host a Regional at Siebert.  But that loss Friday may prove to be very damaging.

Nevertheless they have chances to re-burnish their bona fides in the final week before tourney play.  On Tuesday they go to Queens to face St. John's for a fourth time this season; they won two-of-three against the Red Storm in the Gophers' final games at U.S. Bank Stadium.  (I was at the final game, a 6-3 win Saturday, March 31.  And by the way, playing four games against St. John's is one more than the U. will have played against most teams in their own conference.  There will be teams in the B1G the Gophers won't play at all this season.  Weird.)  They then finish up league play with three at Rutgers this weekend.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Took both ends of a week-beginning two-fer at St. Louis, then split four matches against The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ...

Heard Gleeman And The Geek on my way home from the Gopher baseball team's win Sunday/yesterday and they were sort-of touching on how the Twins' season changed, and maybe was saved, when Fernando Romero was called up and stanched the bleeding from that horrible stretch by beating Toronto 4-0 back on May 2.  I, and many others, are really psyched of what this Romero kid can do.  I've never heard of this guy until he got called up, and now Gleeman and The Geek believe he could turn into something special.  The main thing Romero has got going for himself is that he is capable of striking out pitchers with his fastball-slider-change arsenal.  He struck out six on Sunday vs. Anaheim, and he allowed his first major-league Run, in his third start in The Show.

Unfortunately, for the third straight time, he didn't last long.  He got pulled to start the Sixth and was hung for the loss because his counterpart on the mound, Shohei Ohtani, struck out 11, albeit in 6 1/3 Innings.  And then Zach Duke coughed up the game-ending score ... 2-1 Anaheim.  I remain very ambivalent about the relief corps.  But this Romero kid?  He's got potential.  I just want to see him last into the Seventh or Eighth -- you know, be the superstar that gives the bullpen a day off.

While the bleeding has been stanched, the effects still ripple; right now the Twinks stand at 17-19.  Maybe some home cooking will do them good.  They have yet another maximum-sized homestand that commences this week.  And in what might be a first, four teams are coming into Target Field for this homestand, three of them this screening week.  This (Monday) evening Seattle, which is stopping here before going home after finishing up a series in Detroit, makes up the April 8 date that was snowed out.  Then the Cardinals return the favor by playing Tuesday and Wednesday here.  Gosh, should I go to that Tuesday game?  Thursday they have off, then The Bastard Seattle Pilots are here for a three-game series over the weekend.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -1).  This may have been the most horrible on-pitch week in the Loons' short history.  Forget the 2-0 loss Wednesday at LAFC (which I will start to refer to as "Laugh-See"), because the side did.  Facing a quick midweek game sandwich between weekend dates at home, with several people out injured and several more hurt, and facing a very rich good team on the road, Adrian Heath gave the B team many spots to start and basically punted this match.  I don't like it, but if this was a way to maximize their chances to win Saturday at home against San Jose, the worst team in the Western Conference, well, I can't get too mad at that.

But what the fuck do you do when you can't even do that?  After shaking my head, spacing out and then detaching from my emotions at the end of that horrid 3-1 loss to the Earthquakes, I felt, and I still feel, that this was the first time I regretted being a season-ticketholder.  The preview/buildup by David Martin of FiftyFive.One made me believe that a Loons triumph in this match was both probable and necessary to show this team has made real progress.  Well, they through seemingly the entire trajectory of the whole organization into the shitter when the Quakes scored on the Penalty Kick in only the Second Minute when Jerome Thiesson -- no, not him too! -- fouled in the box.  However, Christian Ramirez scored off a San Jose backpass/fuck-up that was so surprising, I didn't even see it until it was humping over the Earthquakes Goalie and into the net; that was the spacing out part.  And then MNUFC was on the front foot for the rest of the First Half.  They were close, clanging shots off the bar and juuuuuust misconnecting on passes.  But it felt as though the better team on paper was finally asserting its talent; the tallies were going to come.

But they didn't.  Yet another Backline screw-up cost us the game, when Francisco Calvo didn't pressure the ball on the Loons End Line because he didn't want to concede a Corner Kick but conceded an entry pass that found the back of the net for the deciding goal.  Calvo handballed the third Goal, a second PK for the Quakes.  And for the first time with this squad, I felt that I had totally wasted my money and time.

Another writer for FiftyFive.One, Alex Schieferdecker, kind of talked me off the ledge in his regular review piece.  He, like many fans, thinks it's time to sit the Centerback pairing of Calvo and Michael Boxall.  Calvo in particular has been conspicuously bad lately, and he has responded by beginning to get surly with reporters.  According to Megan Ryan of the Star Tribune, he got fed up with a question by the scrum surrounding him and he asked the Public Relations department to throw that reporter out of the locker room.  Thank Buddha the PR people told him no.  I have begun to notice how shittily Calvo has been playing, and I'm not a soccer expert.  And I really, really don't like how he is trying to manipulate the media.  Who the hell does he think he is, Donald Trump?

However, Schieferdecker is continuing to emphasize how Calvo may only be the person making the most conspicuous mistake, pointing out that his mistake is the result of others', and that he has been capable of outstanding play at times this season.  (There is also the mysterious issue regarding his son, who he cryptically worried about in a previous press conference.)  Moreover, he points out, logically, that he and Boxall continuing to play and being in the middle of many Goals allowed this season is in fact a coaching problem, and so he has turned the heat up on Manager Adrian Heath.  He has a very good point there, too.  I still am flummoxed why Brent Kallman, who at times played spectacularly last year (and, by the way, is One Of Us), still hasn't seen a second of play this year.  Why not start Rookie Wyatt Omsberg alongside him and see if that CB pairing is better?  It sure as shit can't get any worse.

Regardless of the fallout and what United FC does, I think this loss is a turning point for the franchise, and its relationship with the Twin Cities fanbase.  I believe that many casual fans who want to follow the Loons looked at the Earthquakes' record and went, "Well, that should be a win!"  Many writers thought that, too.  The loss, and the incompetent way that they lost, I believe angered many people in the stadium, including the supporters.  I don't think that the Dark Clouds and True North Elite are going to start throwing flares and smoke bombs onto the pitch like Hamburg fans did after Saturday's relegation for the first time in both Bundesliga and club history.  But this humiliating defeat means that the honeymoon period for the Loons is over.  They are now just any other Minnesota team, scrutinized for their bad play and questioned about what they're going to do about it.  It sure as hell isn't pretty, but it's inevitable to be considered a real pro sports franchise.

Any changes might prove futile for their next match, Saturday afternoon vs. Sporting Kansas City, who are the best team in the Western Conference.  But if Calvo's and/or Boxall's name is announced in the Starting Lineups, I'm going to fucking hear some boos.  Welcome to the big time, MNUFC.

Usher Stole My Identity!

Talked about going to the U. softball game last week, but I didn't tell you guys about this.

For sporting events besides football, basketball and men's hockey, you can get in for free if you have a student ID.  I've blogged about the pitfalls of re-using my extremely old University of Minnesota student ID before.  Nevertheless I still use it because it saves me the cost of admission.

What I may not have told you guys (even though I'm pretty sure I did, I just can't find it) is that it has my social security number on it.  That means that whenever I flash that card, I'm showing an usher or ticket seller the prime identifier to everything that makes me an American.  I was reminded of that very risky risk when I handed my ID to the usher at the gate leading into Cowles Stadium.  He looked at the front, containing my SSN, flipped it to the back, which had my photo, then looked up at me ... while smirking.  He gave me my ID and said, "OK."

Oh, sure, he could be admiring how old my ID is.  Or he could be memorizing my social security number in order to steal my identity.  Shit, my identity may already be stolen for all I know.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?  I'll do it again today, as I plan on going to Siebert Field to catch the home regular season finale of the Golden Gopher baseball team.

If I'm a victim of identity theft, I know how my Suspect #1 is.  Remember his face and everything.  Hell, that usher might be there this afternoon, too!

And by the way, this is as good a time as any to go back to school, if only to get a new damn identification card.

Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Dwane Casey

Dwane Casey was Head Coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves from 2005 to 2007, right in the middle of the Dark Age of the franchise.  He, however, provided the brightest light during that time.  He finished 33-49 in his first and only full season leading the Woofie Dogs -- not great at all, but this was the season after Latrell Sprewell was out of the league after bitching about not getting a contract extension and Sam Cassell was traded to the Clippers, thus breaking up the MV3 that led the Wolves to the Western Conference Finals in 2004.

Things were getting marginally better in the 2006-7 season.  At roughly the midway point of the season, Casey got this team at 20-20.  Then, out of nowhere and, as far as I know, for no good reason, General Manager Kevin McHale (who preceded Casey as HC after he fired Flip Saunders and resumed coaching duties for himself) fired him.  I think McHale said something like, "I think we can do better."  He thought his friend, Randy Wittman, could get this team into playoff contention or better.  Instead, the team nosedived, going 12-30 the rest of the way and sunk to the bottom, only now getting their heads above water by reaching the playoffs for the first time since '04.

People kind of forget about this era of the Woofie Dogs, but those in the know remember the firing and thinking how much of a raw deal Casey got.  We have no idea how well he would have done had he not been shitcanned mid-season, but the record of the 2006-7 season while and then after Casey was Head Coach should be evidence enough that he made a positive difference.

Apparently, he got fucked over again Friday.  He got another HC job at Toronto for the 2011-2 season, and although the Raptors had some lean years, the front office stuck with him.  Finally, with a nucleus of Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan, they got better, and this year, with a bench that became formidable, the Raps beat out preseason East favorite Cleveland and early surprise Boston to get the best record in the Eastern Conference.

With that home-court advantage, however, they faced LeBron James and the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Semifinals and were promptly dispatched by them in four games.  Now, it took a back-and-forth Game 1 and a game-ender by King James in Game 3, but they were swept nonetheless.

Now remember, Toronto had never been the #1 seed in the East in franchise history.  They've won at least one series each of the past three years.  They reached the Conference Finals in the 2016 playoffs.  They have just been eliminated by the Cavs the past three postseasons, the last two via sweeps.

And Friday, it got Casey fired.  Apparently, Casey, the man who stuck through a couple bad seasons in the beginning of his tenure, is now considered the obstacle to an NBA Finals appearance.  Never mind that Brad Stevens is doing magical work in Boston, or that The Best Basketball Player In Our Era is also playing in the Eastern Conference, or that LeBron is likely playing elsewhere in the Western Conference next year.  I think someone with the Raptors organization believes that the Cavaliers have gotten into Casey's head, and they think just changing the Head Coach unlocks the final step for the franchise.  Well, be careful what you wish for.  The last time Casey was canned, that team fell into a tailspin.

Hey, at least for Casey, he now has a reputation of being a team whisperer.  One that can be disposed of as soon as management believes the team is onto something really good.  But that should mean that he gets another HC job somewhere in the NBA.

Till then ... Poor Bastard.

Where The Hell Did She Go?

So I fucked *a*** last night.  It was ... well, I can't complain, let's put it that way.  She made me dinner.  Then we fooled around, although this time I did nearly all the work and she only bobbed the tip of my penis into her mouth.  But I got to rawdog her, so that's something.  After I came on her stomach she took a shower and went ... somewhere.  I never saw her the rest of the time I was in her house.  But she let me loll in her bed for a couple hours, watch TV and shower (even though the shower head was missing ... what's up with that?).

When it was time for me to leave, I opened the door from the bathroom to the living room -- and I didn't see her.  She might have been in another bedroom, or she may have been downstairs with her roommate (I wish I could have been louder, but that dude down there totally would have heard me!).  I don't know, but I think it's weird that the person who you fucked is just nowhere to be found at the time you told her you had to leave.  (Maybe it's the Prozac she uses?)  The last time she just blew town when I had to leave, I thought I would get away with leaving $100 instead of $120.  *a*** to this day has not called me out on that.  I thought about doing it again, but I figure that if she keeps this up, I might as well not see her as much, or anymore, so I threw in the whole $120 and left.

But man, it's weird, man, all of it.  Making dinner was weird, but that's good.  The not being around to say goodbye thing?  That's weird, and that's bad.

Just Be Honest!

Not to be so arrogant as to chime in on the #MeToo movement; this may not have anything to do with it.  But lately I have had the urge to be a pervert, and to blurt out exactly what I'm thinking and what I want to do with hot women to these hot women.  And I haven't been chastised or called out or anything.  In fact, they have reacted, uh, favorably.

For example, I have an Instagram with which I follow porn stars, bodybuilders, models and other hot women.  I use a fake name and, starting recently, going Incognito in order to tell all these girls how much I feel the need to masturbate to their photos and videos and, hopefully, get away with it.  There is this mature bodybuilder who posted a video of her exercising while two guys in sweats were lifting weights in the background.  I comment that seeing her fit abs and tight ass, they would be so hard and horny that they'd pull down their pants and show her their cocks right then and there.  That's all I said!

Now, when someone says that and she's not a porn star, chances are the comment will get erased and I might get banned.  But no!  She instead gave me three of those "see no evil" emojis.  And then she followed me.  Not so offended after all, now, huh?

My two other examples are strippers who I fuck.  One of them, *****a, I fuck at house parties.  The other, *a***, I fuck at her place.  When I texted both of them recently (in separate conversations) about arranging our trysts, I just blurted out, "I wanna come over and fuck.  Cool?"  So yes, that's really direct.  But they're strippers, and they do this shit, so instead of saying, "I'm offended!" they just said "lol."  Score!  (Yeah, I'm paying them, but still!)

For the record, I did go over to *****a's party and fuck her.  This was about six weeks ago.  And with *a***, I texted that I wanted to fuck her yesterday.  I will be going over to her place after work in the evening.  To fuck.

See, I understand that being an out-and-out perv and just telling women that you want to have sex with them might get you in really hot water.  However, if my examples are in the realm of any real possibility, you can bet that there is a woman out there who is at least decent-looking and who won't be offended by your blunt proposal ... and might even say yes.  That is why men still proposition women out of the blue.  That is why you never, ever give up.

This brings up a story.  I bought the 2018 Hooters calendar earlier this year at the Hooters at the Mall Of America.  I bought it on the day of a signing there.  Several women who appear in the calendar were there to sign.  As I was working my way through the assembly line of autographs, I saw a slip of paper on the floor just under the table.  I picked it up and, since it was open, inspected it.  It was a guy's name, a phone number, and social media account handles.

"Uh, someone left you his number," I told the hot Hooters girl while I tossed this slip back on the table and she was signing my calendar.  "Yeah," she replied, "that is someone who will not get a call from me!"  Thought so.  And yet, if you come across a bodybuilder on Instagram or two strippers who will fuck your brains out, such advances are tolerated, if not welcomed.

I mean, what do your parents always say if you are afraid to do something?  How do you know if it won't work unless you try?  What is the worst thing that could happen -- she'll say no?  Just be honest!  If that's the advice you're given when it comes to, say, trying out for the school musical or asking for a raise, why can't that be the advice for going up to a hot girl you've never seen before and propositioning her for sex?  Amirite?!

Am I Doing This Right?

Right now I am in the middle of, in my opinion, a difficult task.  It's hard to describe even if I think I can disclose it, and I don't think I can, at least no completely.  I have to look up a member's health insurance policy to see if the government has the right information -- I'll put it that way.

It's difficult for several reasons.  First, there are so many ways you can gather all the information you need to make a determination, and I know I've forgotten a few times.  Worst of all, once I get (or believe I get) all the information, I find it difficult to make a determination.  Actually doing it is the easy part; knowing what to do is something I still don't have a grasp on, and I feel as though I have been really, really slow.

The person who trained me in on this project is returning from vacation in the morning.  I am afraid that she is expecting that I have done more than I have.  I've really cut down on the screwing around, I swear -- it's just hard to keep track of where I am, and I still am not totally confident enough to think I'm doing this right, so I have a bunch of questions for her this workday.

I still have no idea how long this job lasts.  My boss said that I'm there until Memorial Weekend.  She is on vacation now; that makes me think that I'm sticking around just because these two had vacations coming up, and once they're done with taking time off, there will be no need for me.  A part of me hopes, however, that I can stick around, but that would mean I can show some basic competence in something like this project.  I have no idea if any extension of this temp job hinges on doing a good job with this, but if it does, I'm not sure I've demonstrated enough to them to keep me around.

The Fatigue Is Catching Up With Me

For the second day in a row I went to bed much earlier than usual.  On Sunday it was, no joke, 7:45.  (That's why I was able to do the WMNSS before going to work.)  And yesterday, feeling the fatigue shrouding my body, I turned the lights out at around 11:30 and the alarm woke me up.

I've been regularly passing out in my car during my lunch break, too.  Not that I'm complaining; I just want to make sure that when I fall asleep, I eventually wake up.  But I'm in a tired period right now and I don't know why.  Maybe my body needs to adjust to the warmer weather the same way it has to adjust to colder weather in the fall?

I should get to work.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Sunday afternoon both the Gopher baseball and Gopher softball teams were playing at home at the same time.  I don't know if you've ever seen either game on campus, but Siebert Field and Cowles Stadium are right next to each other.  In fact, they "share" the same behind-the-wall area; I can believe that a major-league slugger, given a fat meatball to swing at, could launch a homer from Home Plate in other ball park and have it land in the outfield of the other ballpark.  That's how close they are.  (And by the way, with the athletics complex now done, it looks pretty good.  It's a walkable area not unlike going through campus itself.  And you can go through this complex in order to get to the entrance of either Siebert or Cowles if you want to.)

Right up to the start of both ballgames, I didn't know which game to go to.  There were a number of factors I had to run through my head, all of which made me procrastinate in my decision.  The main one, actually, is Mother's Day.  I don't know if there's going to be a big dinner in Mother's name.  If we are going out to eat, I haven't been told which day; that day, I probably have to be home in the late afternoon.  Moreover, while both teams are playing at home, only the baseball team is playing at home next week.  Meanwhile, not only is the softball team not playing at home next week, this weekend was the regular season finale for them.  And finally, the Loons play at TCF Bank Stadium Saturday afternoon, which is around the same time the baseball team plays Michigan St. at Siebert, which precludes me going to that game.

Beyond the factors, there were preferences.  The baseball team had what is considered to be The Most Anticipated Series In Big Ten Baseball This Year, as the Gophers played Indiana, regarded as the two-best teams in the conference, even though they don't have the two-best records in the conference.  That should make for a good, or at least important, series, but then again, Minnesota might lose.  By contrast, the Gopher softballers, in second-place in the B1G themselves, was hosting a really bad Penn St. squad.  They should win Sunday, I thought.  Then again, they should have won Friday, but they were upset at home, 2-1, in Eight Innings.  Any prospect of them hosting a Regional, faint as they were, vaporized with that defeat.  And on top of that, I'm still salty that this team was ranked #1 in the polls, did not even host its Regional, and then proved the NCAA right by failing to win its Regional.  I still blame the softball team.

In the end, I decided that I would take a chance on being able to see one game from the baseballers vs. the Spartans next week.  Also, I had to fax something for Mother, and I don't know if I could do that in a long baseball game.  College softball is only seven Innings, and chances are it would be fewer than that, especially from the wake-up call that came from Friday's shock defeat.  There were some things I needed to do last/Sunday afternoon, and that was the final factor in deciding to walk to Cowles instead of Siebert.

I know that this entry is for the baseball team; bear with me.  After the softballers mercy-ruled the Nittany Lions (and, now that I see the softball bracket, ended the Lions' season), I sauntered through the athletic complex to see if I could get a close-up of those sweet, solid red Indiana jerseys that team was wearing yesterday afternoon.  I couldn't without stepping up to the front gate, so I walked to my car.  But not before being able to see a close-up of the big outfield scoreboard which, if I recall correctly, had the Hoosiers leading the U. somewhere in the Fifth by a score of 5-3.  I hate witnessing losses, it was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and I had chores I could do, so I think I made the right decision.

But blow me down, the Gophers came back to beat the Hoosiers, 7-6, in ten Innings!  Those boys tied it with three in the Eighth Inning -- and in a sign of how powerful the line-up is, those three Runs were all solo Home Runs.  (Terrin Vavra opened the U.'s scoring with a Homer in the Second.)  And in the bottom of the Tenth, Luke Pettersen singled through the right side of the infield to bring home Cole McDevitt and complete the comeback.

And that in fact completes a sweep of the Hoosiers; they beat them 4-1 Friday and 9-1 Saturday.  The Gophers are on a four-game winning streak (they blanked Concordia-St. Paul 5-0 Tuesday), and they are tied with Michigan atop the standings.  The squad will certainly be the top-ranked B1G squad in the polls.  And now, after sweeping a really good (and higher-ranked) Indiana club, there is faint talk that the U. could actually host a Regional this year.  That would be something.  These guys are clearly tops in the WMNSS this screening week, and talk of hosting a Regional lifts them up negative spots.

This weekend's series against Michigan St. is the last one at home for these guys.  It may be the most unheralded seat in town.  And if seeing the crowd from the other side of Cowles Stadium is any indication, more people have discovered the joy of Siebert Field this year than they have in any previous one.

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  All I can say is, thank the gods for Miguel Ibarra and Bobby Shuttleworth.  The Loons were playing the last 40 Minutes of their game against Vancouver a man down after rookie Striker Mason Toye, making his first start of the year for MNUFC, elbowed Kendall Watson out of frustration in the Whitecaps' box and immediately got Red-Carded.  But Ibarra, who apparently has the heart of a hummingbird, finally made his non-stop pestering pan out with a second-effort Goal from the equally hard-working Darwin Quintero in the 60th.

I hope that with the heart that he's shown this and last year, Adrian Heath now has complete trust in Batman. All Ibarra does is give 100%. It may not pay dividends, but the effort is there. Heath does have enough trust in Ibarra that earlier in the week, before the Transfer Window closed, MNUFC traded a different Winger, Sam Nicholson (who just got here), to Colorado for Defender and One Of Us, Eric Miller.  (Note: I'm surprised, in a good way, that both Miller and Nicholson started their first games after being traded for each other.)  Once again the Loons need help on D and went to the Rapids to find reinforcements.  That trade last year, which sent back Marc Burch and Sam Cronin, immediately stanched the bleeding Backline last year; early indications with Miller after one match shows that this could be happening this year as well.

Have to note Shuttleworth's heroics in shutting out the Whitecaps (the team's first clean sheet of the season) Saturday afternoon.  MNUFC was badly outshot, especially after Minnesota went up 1-0, but he made save after save to keep them off the scoreboard -- especially on a leaping save from Vancouver sub Brek Shea.  (I really wanted to embed highlights from both the Ibarra Goal and the Shuttleworth Save here, but I can't find a decent video for either of them.  Weird in this day and age.)  So a four-game losing streak has turned into a two-game winning streak, and as it stands right now, they're in the playoffs.  That's what home cookin' does for ya!  They play five-of-six, virtually the entire month of May, at TCF Bank Stadium.  But this week will be tricky: They go to the brand-new Banc Of California Stadium and play LAFC Wednesday night, then come back to host San Jose (that game where the Gopher baseball team will be playing Michigan St. not too far away from the stadium and Siebert Field) Saturday afternoon.  Tricky week aside, things are looking up for this squad.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: 0).  I pretty much recapped this club's screening week in the baseball entry.  None of the games they played against Penn St. went the natural seven Innings: There was Friday's match which they went on to lose in eight; they came back Saturday by slaughtering the Nittany Lions, 19-0, in the minimum five Innings; and in the contest I watched, they also mercy-ruled the Lions, 8-0 in six.  While this team probably will not host a Regional, they definitely are in the NCAA Tournament, even if they flame out in this weekend's conference tourney, being played in Madison, Wisc.  Note that this is single-elimination involving all but the teams with the two-worst league records (which are Penn St., which had faint hopes of making the tournament and Rutgers).  The Gophers' first game will be Friday early afternoon versus either the host Badgers or Purdue.  The Semifinals and Final will be played Saturday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Went 4-3 this screening week, and although it's important to note that the Twinks had lost 11-of-12, including the first two games of their series at home against Toronto, they currently have won four of their last five, so maybe we all can put that horrible losing funk behind us.  Credit for finally stopping that funk goes to Fernando Romero.  The organization's best pitching prospect was called up for Wednesday's game against the Blue Jays, and he responded by going 5 2/3 Innings and allowing no Runs while striking out five.  And even though they went to Comiskey and promptly lost the first game of the series to the White Sox Thursday, they took the last three.  The White Sox: MLB's slump-buster?

They remain on the road this screening week.  Romero makes his second start in The Show tonight (Monday night) at Busch against St. Louis in a two-game series.  After taking a rare Wednesday off, they are in Anaheim to play the Angels and newly-minted 3,000-hit man Albert Pujols for a four-game set for the weekend.

#-4: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  Forgot to talk about the NFL Draft in last week's WMNSS.  All I can (and will; I have about 45 minutes before I have to wake up for work) say about the draft is that I'm disappointed that they didn't get more Offensive Line help.  Yes, I hear that O-Line prospects were relatively meager this year, but that doesn't mean the Vikings didn't need the help.  Instead, they spent their First-Round pick on Mike Hughes, a Cornerback from Central Florida who was kicked out of North Carolina his freshman year for fighting.  On top of that, Hughes has a rape rap on him that's been dismissed.  I'm saying that this isn't a guy one takes a chance on, and certainly not when the Vikings have decent bodies (not necessarily depth) in a position relative to other positions.

This is shaping up to be a make-or-break year.  If this is any indication, this club will once again fail to come through in the face of overwhelming self-imposed expectations.

#-5: Wild (Re-Entry!).  I also am tardy talking about the ouster of General Manager Chuck Fletcher.  Let me say that while he seems to be a good guy, eight years of not even reaching the Western Conference Finals is enough.

I am still pessimistic about the long-term prospects of this team, and those worries are only exacerbated when Owner Craig Leipold said that this franchise needed a tweak and not an overhaul.  I don't know if Leipold understands that he has one of the oldest teams in the NHL.  And he may not know (at least I didn't) that there is the appearance that the two long-term signings Fletcher made Independence Day 2012 of Ryan Suter and Zach Parise has instilled a culture where those two guys run the show.

Hey, all the credit to Fletch for making the signing, and to Leipold for okaying the money.  The Mild were dead in this town, not having made the playoffs the previous four years prior to the Double Major signing.  But frankly, I don't care how you win -- just win.  If you lose, it doesn't matter if you showed you cared by signing top free agents.  There are many teams still in the playoffs who have won by building through the draft.  Those teams are in a better position now than the Wild.  And these guys need just a tweak?  All I can see out of these guys now is longstanding mediocrity, if not a painful slide into irrelevance.

I Was Waiting To Write Today's Blog Post Until The Morning, When I Had Something To Write About. And I Do!

Father is rampage-cleaning the house again.  Thought I would show him I was sort-of serious about cleaning, so I actually took time this morning to clean the tub and sink, and to do some cursory picking up and dusting in my bedroom.  Didn't seem to matter to him, as he cleaned the upstairs bathroom a second time.  Man, if you want me to clean, and then you clean after me, why do I clean?

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As I left for Diamonds, at which I am typing this blog post right now, Father marched up the steps and opened the door to my bedroom, which is something I thought he would do.  But he marched up the steps with a mop -- not a Swiffer, but a huge, dirty mop that's been in more dark places than my dick has been, which won't do anything except push things around.  And I thought, Ew, my room is going to get dirtier, not cleaner!  Now I really want to clean my bedroom with the Swiffer.  Which would be ironic justice; he cleans the bathroom after me, so I clean my bedroom after he does.

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While looking through things to throw away to show Father I'm serious about cleaning, I found one of the letters from the county I hadn't yet opened.  Glad I did this morning; it was the first bill for my new health insurance.  After years of not needing to pay for it, I now have premiums.  And it's ... $16 a month.  Whew!  Thought it would be worse.  I can actually pay that and not go into bankruptcy!

Expenses Without Receipt

OK, starting from Friday, May 4:

• The first of two big parties for the week.  This was at ******s's place, the one who sexted me her big ass.  I fucked her as much as I could, but two days after blowing my wad, I couldn't cum the conventional way, so I had to just jerk myself off onto her tits and vaginal area.  It still was good.  There were several other girls there, but I only got a quick lapper from ****a, who understood it wasn't her time to go into the bed with her, because the last time I was at ******s's party, I took ****a to the back.  There was another girl who I met, clothed, at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  I remember promising on Facebook to get an LD from her, but I didn't know she was there.  Well, either that or I didn't know her stripper name, so I was surprised she was there, although on Messenger she did say she thought she was going to be working ******s's party.  I totally forgot that until I decided to leave.  I would have given more money, but the fucking cover was $20 and I had to tip the doorwoman, *a***, who is eight months pregnant and, I believe, drank a glass of wine while I was there.  Total: $165.
• Back to Wednesday the 2nd, which is about a week after my niece's birthday.  I feel really bad that I can't see her as often as I should, and I think that giving her fits is a way to remind her that, you know, she has an uncle who cares for her.  I asked my sister-in-law for advice and she said either a board game or a book.  I quickly decided on Corduroy, the classic book about the bear.  The evening after I gave my sister-in-law her daughter's gift, she texted me back video of my niece opening up the gift ... well, trying to.  I had it wrapped at the only mall I know that can wrap gifts.  And apparently the worker was so good at it that of the 3 1/2 minutes of the video, all but a minute of it was my niece and her mom trying to unwrap the gift.  But in the end, that smile and her saying my name melts my heart.  It's funny: She knows who I am, yet back on Christmas Eve, when I visited her, she wouldn't get near me.  Is she so spoiled that the only way to get into her good graces is to bribe her with gifts?  If so ... yeah, maybe I'll do it.  I got Corduroy at Barnes & Noble, so I have a receipt.  But I don't have a receipt for the gift-wrapping, so I'll record it here: $4.50.
• I bought this on this date, even though I am kind of late for my niece's birthday gift, because it was in the same city as my first party of the week.  I noted all my exploits here.  With cover: $195.
• Let's take it back to Sunday, April 29, where I started my day at Caffetto, where I thought I would be there for a while, then realized I shouldn't.  Hot chocolate plus tip equals: $3.75.
• I remembered that the Big Ten Women's Tennis Tournament Final was being held at the Baseline Tennis Center at the U.  It was a way to burn a couple hours, but that meant that the other things I wanted to do, namely get a haircut and go to the library to make some copies, I had to find the time for.  So I made a reservation at Great Clips for a haircut, which was being sold for nine bucks from Thursday till Monday, and jetted to the Quarry.  And just in time, too; the woman who buzzed my hair said that there would be a rush of people coming in from church.  I was there a half-hour, max, thank goodness.  Cost with tip: $1211.99.
• So this was the first tennis event I ever went to.  Going in was free; the U. just opened up the gates and there I was, at eight tennis courts on a plot of land that, a quarter-century ago, was a parking lot.  I really had no idea what to expect.  All I knew was this was the title match between Northwestern and Michigan.  In the end, the 2-seed Wolverines upset the top-seeded Wildcats by winning the final two singles matches to finish.  I was right in front of the Wolverines player after she put away Championship Point; if I were a photographer, I would have had the perfect vantage point of her teammates rushing from background to foreground to mob #2 player.  I'm glad I went.  I just wish I put on some sunscreen and/or realized that I would be there for 3 1/2 hours, because I got a sunburn on the left side of my face, head and neck.  This EWR is for the program I bought: $5.
• Jetted to the library after the tennis matches.  I don't think I printed anything out, but I was pressing as shit just before the library closed because there was a line of people using the only two copy machines in the library, and one of them wasn't working, or so I thought.  At a quarter or ten to 5, I got the two copies of forms related to filling out this claim form for (potentially) applying for compensation money as part of a stock settlement regarding Facebook.  Total of: 20 cents.
• Saturday the 28th ... I went to the Twins game.  I got to start either thinking about snappy comebacks against asshole scalpers or avoid them altogether.  No goddamn way he was able to sell that ticket for what he wanted for it, bojanglin' slapdick.  But his loss was the organization's gain.  Sitting in the Center Field bleachers made me realize how hot the sun is even in late April.  On my way in I was given two free samples of yogurt.  I was told I could take them into the ballpark.  And then I decided I wanted a hot dog and a souvenir-sized Coke, because I thought I was too skinny.  So the total cost for the ticket, the hot dog and the big Pepsi came out to ... a very reasonable: $30.
• After the game I went up the street to my alma mater's spot for watching football games.  Wanted to pop in there to keep up relations, and to have a place to go before going to the United match.  Just a bottle of Bud Light, since it was Happy Hour.  Plus tip: $3.75.
• At the MNUFC game I had my usual: A hot dog and a Redd's.  Total: $15.25.
• After the win (and again I was surprised I went to two games on this day and saw the home team win both; that, seriously, never fucking happens) I went to Glam Doll to celebrate.  Got a free donut this time around.  With tip: $9.25.
• Reeling back to Wednesday, April 25, where I went to the library to print some stuff out for Mother.  Total: 20 cents.
• On Sunday the 22nd I ate at McDonald's for the first time in many a moon.  Don't remember which Mickey D's or why, but I took advantage of their value menu.  I like trying new, more expensive items, but eating a cheeseburger, small fries and a small Coke is more then enough of a lunch for me these days.  Lunch set me back: $3.97.
• I then went to the library to type out some letters for Mother, I think.  But three?  How come?  Probably because when I printed out my first letter I forgot to put something in, and then I remembered I had to put something in a second time.  Dammit.  Total of: 30 cents.

It's been only a dozen days, but I thought I would have a hell of a lot more EWRs to note.  I don't.  Phew!  Good through May 4.