Three Ways Grandmother Bugged Me In The Past 24 Hours

1. Grandmother was up late last night. I saw her bedroom light on when I went to piss. Then, around 4 o'clock, I heard commotion from the hall outside. I then looked that the hall light was on just outside my room. Of course it's Grandmother; she wanted to know if I was going to work the next day. But with her, when she's bothering me, she always starts out with an ice-breaker question before weaseling her way to what she really wants. But this was classic: She was swinging her arms around and complained about a knot on her neck, then finally got around to asking me if I could massage her neck. For fuck's sake, if you wanted me to do that, why don't you fuckin' say so? I'll still hate it, but it'd save everybody some time.
2. Woke up just before 9 this morning when Grandmother was outside my door, on the phone: "Bill ... yeah ... Bill." I stumble out of bed to open the door and answer the phone. Turns out it was our PCA nurse calling to schedule a time to come in and see her. Why didn't she have my cellphone? Because she lost it. I guess I shouldn't blame Grandmother for this; if the nurse had my cell number, she wouldn't woken me up just before 9 anyway. Question is, why the fuck would she call me so goddamn early in the morning? That's uncharacteristically uncouth of her.
3. Helped my friend move stuff to his storage space this afternoon. I made the fatal mistake of taking him to his place of work for the next 11 days, the State Fair, right at the beginning of afternoon rush. It took me a fucking hour to go from downtown Minneapolis to the Fairgrounds to home. And it didn't help that I got drowsy through my traffic-ridden ride through hell. Which I meant I was going to be woken up by Grandmother when all I wanted was to get in the house, take my clothes off and crash. And of course, because she heard commotion outside she had to get up like she's one of those voice-responding plush dolls. And of course she'll wake me up by knocking on my door because she fuckin' wanted something. This time she needed change. Fuck her.