Sunday, August 7, 2011

Grandmother Ruined The House

I came home late tonight. I saw pails of shit and tools just outside the door.

Father told me Grandmother let the hot water run, possibly for hours. She turned on the faucet as hot as possible, then left it on as she left for the casino. It got so bad that Father said he took several hours to rip up the carpet in Mother's office, the second-to-last remaining place that had carpet. Our shrine to my other Grandmother (Father's mother) fell. And you could still smell the stale water when you walk outside my hall here.

Father talked about putting her in a home.

And then he asks me if I'm busy this week. I am; lined up work at the hearing lab at the U. all week. He's busy, too. That's what you get when you set it up so that you're the last person working at The Store. I need to help him, but I can't ... I've been sworn to secrecy.

Checked out Grandmother. She is woozy and unsteady on her feet. Frankly, the last time I saw her this vulnerable, she was having an attack.

And I have a vacation I lined up, too.

My fucking God, why is all this shit happening at once? Things are breaking down and falling apart all around me. I cannot deal with one of these things, let alone all of them.

Goddammit, I hate life.

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