I Have Three Pairs Of Shoes, But In Actuality Have None

One of the ways My Father shows me he loves me -- hey, try saying "I love you" once in your life!  Ah, too late, I'll probably think he's full of it -- is by buying me clothes.  A few weeks before they left, as I came home from "work," he pointed down at the new pair of shoes at the foot of the foyer rug and said, "Try this on, see if it fits you."  It didn't, but he brought them back to ... well, I'm guessing Kohl's and got a new pair for me to try on the next night.  This one was long enough and so it didn't pinch my toes.  So I said, "Yes, Father, these shoes work.  Thank you."  And I meant it sincerely.

But then he and Mother leave the country with not one but two new pairs of shoes.  One of the pairs I did try on; the other I didn't.  I didn't think it was necessary, but Father pointed out that the shoes I was currently using (shoes, by the way, that he bought for me) were falling apart.  I didn't think so ... but in the three or so weeks between him saying that and them getting out of town, everything on these shoes fell apart.  When I heard the bottom of the shoe scrape against the ground while I walked because it was hanging loose, that's when I knew I had to make the switch to the new shoes My Father bought me.

And that's when I realized something very, very important: Neither pair had removable insoles.  So I braved it and tried to wear both shoes without them.  The first one, a leather pair of ... well, I don't know if you call them boat shoes or if they're just moccasins, they were alright, but I could feel the weight of my left arch collapsing while wearing them at work Monday, and I wasn't so sure if I could keep wearing them.  So I tried the other pair, and this one was the exact one that I tried and said were totally fine (it was the mocs/boat shoes that I hadn't ever tried on, and I have no idea why Father decided to buy them for me), and after one Tuesday afternoon of wearing them at work I could feel my left leg land wrong whenever I took a step, to the point where I had an active and acute pain on my left hip.  I have no idea why I told him these shoes were fine; without the insoles that would prop up flat feet, they were absolutely painful to wear.

So with both shoes having no space for my insoles and the shoes I had tried on before being so obviously wrong for me that it was starting to get dangerous to wear, on Tuesday evening I reverted to a Plan C.  Through this now-defunct company/website affiliated with American Express, I bought a pair of Doc Martens for what I thought (and still believe) were rock-bottom prices.  I didn't need them at the time, but I couldn't pass up on a deal, so I figured I'd just store them until I needed them.  That time was now.  The thing is is that I bought them sight unseen; I tried to do as much research as possible, but I had no idea how they were going to fit my feet.  I didn't even know whether their insoles were removable.

Well, I opened up the box when I received this shipment (I received the shipment, by the way, about 18 months, two years ago) and was able to pry out the insoles that came with the Docs.  Good.  So now I'm wearing these.  Unfortunately I still feel pain -- not the the shocking pain from that pair of "good" shoes, but pain up and down my left leg and foot nonetheless.  (Of course, I have no idea if this pain is the result of the Doc Martens or lingering effects from walking in those "nice" shoes Father bought for me for a day.)  Furthermore, they are narrow and pinch my pinky toes, the right one way more than my left.  So every day since Wednesday, when I walk, I feel this throbbing pain from my baby toes, particularly the right one.  I'm such an oblivious masochist that I'll probably keep wearing them until the leather dries and peels.  But that may be because I bought these shoes on my own, so I'll be damned if I don't wear them out, regardless of a pain that may, in the long run, be worse than the two shoe pairs that don't allow for my own specially made insoles.

Bottom line is I have two pairs of shoes I can't (or at least shouldn't ) wear, and three pairs that cause varying degrees of pain.  Guess I just can't buy a pair of shoes that fit my feet just fine.