Man, I've been so busy between work, shoveling and recovering from illness that I didn't have time at all to reflect on 2015 in 2015. And now that it is 2016, I still won't have time to reflect on 2015 -- I have this blog to do, watch the hockey game, call my folks, and take a nap before schlepping out to Mariucci Arena for the Mariucci Classic beginning this afternoon. I had designs on shoveling out the back deck, but even though I was up by 11 (went to bed around 3:30), I'm feeling sleepy again, so ... nah.
If there is an overall theme to what is now last year, and I could be wrong, I have indeed moved on from things. For a guy who abhors change -- and I don't think I'm lying to myself; I absolutely hate it -- there have been many important things in my life that I decided to change, and in retrospect it was very easy to do. The flu biller place, for example, was a great place to work at for three seasons ... until that IT prick went nuts on me. I have come to realize for a long time that regardless of where I work and whether my journalism degree is being used, I can work anywhere as long as I like the people I work with and for. But once I don't feel comfortable being around another person, I start finding my way out. That's what happened. Oh, and not having benefits and seeing another year where I'm asked to take on responsibilities and not getting paid for it was icing on the cake. I was scared when the temp agency guy told me to sleep on it before saying no again, but now that I have landed on my feet (sort of; who knows how long this current assignment will last?), walking away from that job -- as great as much of it is, as noble as a lot of it is -- was the best thing to do.
Guess the other big thing was the car. I love the car, but at some point it becomes such a dead weight and millstone around your soul. When that thing conked off early May, my bond with it was over. I mean, I love the car, and we're still going to use it (although it's parked on the driveway and not covered, so it's going to be battered by the snow, and oh yeah, the battery died). But for the sake of me having a regular, dependable ride, I have a new car. I'll use this one in rotation, and if my parents need to split off and do separate duties, we all have three cars to go to three different places if need be. But I think I can say that it's not "my car" anymore. And I'm OK with that.
This is the year I turn 40. I never thought I would have a midlife crisis, because if having existential worries about your mortality and reacting by acting young and doing impulsive things are the signs of a midlife crisis, I have had a 40-year midlife crisis. But those two digits put together, "4" and "0," they mean a lot in life. I think I technically am in the back half of my time here on Earth, but turning 40 makes that stark and so in-your-face. I don't need how I'm going to react to that. There might be a lot of changes I'm ready for. Or, I might hold my ground like I usually do. Or, there will be a lot of changes foisted upon me that I have no choice but to adapt to. Who the bleep knows.
Happy New Year. I hope for peace within your surroundings and your soul.
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