Starting from Friday, January 15:
- Although I probably could have gone without it, I went downstairs to get some lunch at work. Settled on the serve-yourself nachos, in an area of the commissary I hadn't eaten yet. I think I went overboard filling up my compostable box because it weighed out to, I think: $6.31.
- In the evening I attended a party which, for a brief hour or so, I thought was cancelled. So said one of the strippers who was supposed to be working it. But when I said "See ya later!" to another of the strippers, she told me the party was on. Weird. Cover, fucking *e***** and getting a semenless handjob from a *e**** came out to a total of:
$210(ETA on 12:47 p.m. on January 16 that I need to add two more dollars because I tipped one of the girls there after she demanding dollar bills and flashed her boobs in order to receive them) $212. - I then finished up at Glam Doll. A Night Moves and pour-over coffee comes out to just about eight bucks. Shit, I could go to A Baker's Wife and get 16 donuts (not fancy at all, but just as good) for the same price. And since I wanted to finish off this EWR for once and for all, I got myself another donut so I could stay. All told, with tip: $9.75.
- On Thursday the 14th I had pizza at work: $3.10.
- On Wednesday, January 13 I had a full lunch at work -- turkey and gravy with wild rice stuffing. You know, I'm eating a lot at work lately: $5.13.
- Then on Monday the 11th I had a breakfast burrito wrap made for me at work. This was the last time I used this gift card given to me by my supervisor. I had mere cents left on it, so I paid for the difference, which was: $4.71.
- On Saturday the 9th, before the Wild Card games began, I went to the Minneapolis Institute of Art (I cannot and will not call it "Mia") for the last weekend of the Delacroix. I hope he was the genius and touchstone the exhibition says he is. When I took art history he was a noted painter, but not an inspiration for modern art. Anyway, I wanted to check my coat because I didn't want to lug it around for three hours. They asked for a donation and I gave it: $1.
- Friday, January 8: Tucci Benucch is one of the few places left at the Mall of America that has been where it was, without expanding or contracting, since Day One. And after work for Happy Hour was the very first time I ate there. Small bar; it could use an expansion. So glad they had a Happy Hour menu. With tip it came out to: $10.25.
- There was a party that evening. Don't get me started on the kid that came in the middle of the party. Finally showed my pee-pee to ****e*; she's a good girl, but she patted it. Then I got a second VIP with *a***, who has seen it and whacked it before but didn't jerk me to completion until this night. I brought enough money to get clean dances from the the other two. With tip I spent the most I have ever spent at a house party: $225.
- After that I cooled my heels at Glam Doll. One donut, coffee, tip: $6.
- Wednesday the 6th -- stopped off at Carbone's after work for Happy Hour. Plus tip it equalled: $10.25.
- On Monday the 4th I donated to this box full of candy bars. One of the workers there is trying to raise money for her daughter to take ... dance classes somewhere? I might have remembered it wrong: $1.
- Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) because I promised my new ATF, *e***** that I would see her. At the end I decided to be Santa and get one lap dance from the three girls that were working that night. I wanted to do that on New Year's Night, but when I got there, I saw that the place was closed. In hindsight, I should've known all along that it would be closed on January 1. Oh, well. One of the girls turned out to be a five-dollar bitch, and when I tipped her only two bucks at the rail she promised me (after I asked for an LD, of course) that I would "make it up to her" after our lapper. OK; she got an extra five dollars from me beyond the regular $20 ... but that ensures me that I never get a dance from her ever again. Hey, the other two girls there accepted $2 cheerfully. Of course, I've given them money before to touch my dick. Plus coffee: $74.75.
- ETA at 12:50 p.m. on January 16 that I deposited back into my checking account money I took from the ATM. Thought I was going to a stripper party but I did not, and it didn't make any sense to lug around cash that I wasn't going to use anytime soon. I added a buck because I thought I would need to take out a dollar to deposit to my alumni club's account, but I won't have to do that until next month. Oh, well: $81.
- Saturday, January 2 ... I had to dig into the alumni club cashbox in order to pay myself back, an Infusion of: $26.50.
- I needed that money in my wallet because I was going to the Mall of America to people-watch at Hooters in what was the very last holiday weekend. Also to see if the waitress who was flirting with me was working then -- and she was! And she served me! She's cute, she really is, and so I tried to impress her by eating two rounds of food, wings followed by fries. I don't think she gives a shit, but at least I stayed a couple hours to see her and her cute butt run around in those signature orange shorts! With tip: $29.
- New Year's Day (aside: As of press time I haven't heard "New Year's Day" by U2 yet in 2016.): Went out to see the "semifinals" of the Mariucci Classic, where Harvard pounded Ferris St. and then the Gophers squeaked out a 3-2 win over UConn. Didn't get a scalped ticket because the scalpers didn't have a single to spare, but there were many tickets available at face value. Got the General Standing Room ticket for $15 even though there was a Student Standing Room ticket for $10, but I didn't want to risk whipping out my now-20-year-old student ID and getting interrogated. Just not that day. Plus hot dog, Coke and program: $26.75.
- Actually found a table at Caffetto after the game. Probably less crowded because it was the first of the year. Hot chocolate, tiramisu and tip and it comes out to: $6.75.
- Hurtling back to Wednesday the 30th, where I caved into what may have been phantom hunger pangs and opted for the turkey at work: $5.30.
- Then I had ... another candy bar donation? (sigh) Sure, I guess I did ...: $1.
- I then had to go downtown for my alma mater's bowl game, which kicked off at 9:30, on a weeknight. And we lost, too. Charged my food, but I needed to use my own money for the 50/50 Raffle because I forgot the key to the cashbox I did bring with me at home. Giving out change, a total of: $26.50.
- Back to Wednesday, December 23 -- do I really have receipts for everything in the previous week?! Hope so. Anyway, I felt like not going to MOA for once to wait out the traffic. Sometimes the onramp from 77N to Crosstown West gets so backed up that I just stay on 77 to when it becomes Cedar. The past few times I've used it I've seen this local pizza chain called Carbone's. I like pizza, so on this day, even though I was seriously ill, I stopped in to eat. Discovered that they had a Happy Hour -- sweet. Two slices of pizza and a pint of beer before 6, plus tip, brought the total to: $10.
- Went out to Caffetto that night. Actually found a spot. Coffee plus tip only: $2.
- Monday the 21st ... had chili at work: $2.56
- Went to this new place called Freshii. One of those places that are going hardcore at "eating better." I know I should eat better, but damn, does it have to be so expensive? Got a great-tasting salad and I added turkey, and it came out, with tip, to: $11.17.
- Went to Caffetto for coffee that night (I know I have been complaining about not finding a spot here; what can I say, I had a couple good days over the holidays). First I found a dime there, an Infusion of: 10 cents.
- I got a slice of pecan pie alongside the coffee. With tip: $6.
- Afterwards went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) to placate *e*****, who has been extorting me into getting LDs from her. Man, a girl willingly impales herself on you one time and you have to pay her back for an eternity. Plus tips and coffee: $31.75.
- On Sunday the 20th I found a dime while working the Vikings game. An Infusion of: 10 cents.
- After the game I stopped back at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), where I celebrated a win by getting a lapper from Carissa, whom I hadn't seen in a while. With tips and coffee: $29.75.
- Back on Saturday the 19th I went to Brit's Pub to watch EPL. Ran into a co-worker there who was enjoying soccer with his son. Felt really bad that I didn't remember his name. Oh, Brit's Pub changed its menu, I think, so that the bloody mary is no longer on special. Shit, I bought one to go with my sandwich anyway. With tip: $23.
- Stopped after Brit's to the place where our club watches our alma mater's games. I wanted to let them know the date of our bowl game. And I had lunch and a Coke too. With tip: $9.75.
- This was The Last Saturday before Christmas, which traditionally is the busiest shopping day of the holiday season. But to be honest, I thought there were more people overnight Black Friday. Anyhoo, I got into the spirit of the season by buying hot chocolate at Godiva. Real good chocolate makes real good hot chocolate, but it was an expensive: $4.29.
- Friday, December 18. Made a pit stop at MOA, so I donated to the Salvation Army: $1.
- Went to this party at a new place, hosted by the girl whom I gave a ride home to in the middle of the night. She said she was going to play with my balls, and I thought going to her party would be the perfect time for her to make good on her offer. But she's a "nice girl." Well, fuck that. Well, not really; she remembered that she said she owed me a free dance, so I got a two-for-one from her. Whatever. Got a dance ($20, clean) from the three other strippers working. Plus cover and it equalled: $95.
- Thursday the 17th ... was so hungry in the morning that I went down to the cafeteria at work and bought a sausage biscuit sandwich: $3.10.
- And then I was still hungry, so for lunch I went back down and got myself some chili. You know, I should say this: I used to hate chili because of the beans and beans make you fart. But now I love it. It doesn't take a whole lot of it to fill you up. And those beans I've come to learn is a cheap way to get some well-needed protein. I love chili now: $2.56.
- Wednesday, December 16 -- I hear that Greek yogurt is much better for you than your run-of-the-mill yogurt. Why is that? Is it because it's thicker? I read in Time that you should put much more fiber in your diet. So I bought some this day at work: $1.92.
- Went to the Megamall after work ... dropped some money in the Salvation Army kettle: $1.
- Cooled my heels at this new place called Zio, where I got some Happy Hour red wine and flatbread. Hey, isn't flatbread just pizza? With tip: $15.15.
- This was the night I carved out time to look for gifts for my niece. Decided to settle on a few of Sesame Street-related books at Barnes & Noble, for two reasons. One, I learned a lot from Sesame Street, so I think I should pass on the tradition to the next generation. And two, B&N was the only place at MOA where I could get these books gift-wrapped. I suck at gift-wrapping, so I was more than willing to let volunteers stationed at the bookstore -- this day it was manned by a sorority from St. Catherine's University -- do it for me. I don't think the young woman who did my present did it well, but she is a lot better than me. So I didn't mind making a donation (not a fee, a donation) to them in the amount of: $5.
- On Tuesday the 15th I had, um ... I wrote down "breakfast" at work. My recollection was that one morning I piled sausage and bacon and home fries (and maybe a breakfast sandwich) into a container. Total: $5.29.
- That night I saw Creed just to see what the hype was all about. My God, it was a good movie. I didn't think there was any more blood to be pull from the Rocky story, but not only is there, the entire franchise truly has been rejuvenated by this movie. Everything was great about it. The camerawork, for one thing, is excellent. There are two tracking shots showing Creed/Donnie Johnson going from his dressing room into the ring, and they're absolutely riveting. (Although I am a sucker for tracking shots.) What's more remarkable is one fight that looks like it was filmed on a single take from the vantage point of the ref or someone right next to the two fighters. I don't know how they did that, but it was so damn awesome. Oh, and everybody's right about Sylvester Stallone. I haven't seen him as charismatic, as personable, and as human as he is as the grizzled, aged veteran. I'm surprised it's good, but it's an A. Ticket, popcorn, pop: $10.44.
- Saturday the 12th was the time I met my two friends for our annual visit to the British Advertising Awards/Arrows. Before I was able to park at the ice rink several blocks away for free. Now, ever since they remodeled it, I have the feeling that they are patrolling a lot more, so I can't just park there and walk over to the Walker or else they'll have it towed. And the streets in the neighborhood further down the street had no parking. So I bit the bullet and paid for it, ugh: $5.
- You know what? I remember getting a before-show drink, and I think I paid cash for it, but I have faintest idea how much it cost. I'm just going to pull an amount out of my ass and put it here: $8.
- After the show and dinner I stopped by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for tips, coffee and a dance with *a***. She put my glasses on her face during our dance, and she has never looked hotter. Total: $31.75.
- Friday, December 11 ... had a late night at Glam Doll. Should do this more often. With tip: $8.
- On Thursday the 10th I got chili at work: $2.56.
- Tuesday the 8th, same thing: $2.56.
- And then I went to the Megamall, which meant I passed by the Salvation Army kettle, so I dropped in: 25 cents.
- There was a party I attended later that night. It's in the same apartment where *a*** lives. Her half-sister, *e***, was there, and I got the VIP treatment from her. I'll say this: Although I'll never turn down a blowjob, she's better at giving head than *a*** is. Unfortunately she wanted to extract more money from me for sucking on my pee-pee. I told her I wanted to save some money for Roche, who was the other of the three strippers working that party, and one who used to work at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) a long time ago. Sadly she does not suck dick, or do anything remotely dirty. With cover: $170.
- Monday, December 7: *e***** beckoned me out to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) and like a puppy I went out. She's killing me! Got a dance with her; with tips and coffee it came out to: $36.
- Afterwards I went to White Castle, a place whose food will give me the shits for the next 24 hours, but in a good way. Don't know why I went there on a school night, but I had a coupon and that night was the best night for me to use it. Total: $5.33.
- On Sunday the 6th I think I stopped by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) after the Vikings game. Tips, coffee and an LD with Carissa, who I had not seen in months and was afraid quit the bar if not The Life. Comes to: $34.
- Friday, December 4: Had chili at work: $2.56.
- Stopped off at MOA ... Salvation Army: 25 cents.
- I think I was hungry enough to get a cupcake at Cupcake. Their treats are wonderful, but they have such scant crowds I wonder how they stay in business. With tip: $4.75.
- Went to a party afterward. Got down with ***i*, finally. She isn't the prettiest girl working, but that's kind of an indication that she likes to get down, if you know what I mean. Surprisingly, though, she doesn't do as much as I thought she would, also if you know what I mean. Also got a clean dance out in the living room from *a***. With cover: $135.
- Decompressed afterward at Glam Doll. Plus tip: $8.50.
- On Wednesday the 2nd I stopped by the Mall of America, so I dropped a quarter off at the Salvation Army kettle: 25 cents.
- Tuesday, December 1 -- watched Spectre. I actually liked this movie (especially the massive tracking shot that opens it), but then I read all these pieces about how it makes absolutely no damn sense ... and now that I think about it, I have to like it less. Ticket, popcorn, pop: $10.44.
- Monday, November 30 ... my God, this EWR stretches back to November ... I remember that there was a wet snowstorm on my drive down to Williams Arena to watch the Gopher men's basketball team play Clemson in the annual Big Ten-ACC Challenge. I bought this ticket at the Minnesota State Fair for ten bucks and I would be damned if I didn't go and watch the game for which I already paid. And the U. won, which, if the season is any indication, will be very rare this year. Hot dog, Coke, program totals: $11.75.
- Sunday the 29th was the very last time I could go to the local composting site to dump the leaves, most of which I was not able to rake up and bag. (The site was open till the 30th, but I was working on Monday and they close at sunset.) While I was tearing upon each bag and trudging through the piles of rotting leaves, I wondered if leaving the leaves on the yards would have been a better option. I had to pay: $5.
- Wednesday, November 25, aka Thanksgiving Eve, aka Dranksgiving, where I had cereal at work: $1.60.
- And then I had to buy coffee at work in the afternoon: $2.13.
- I was let go from work early to get started on the Thanksgiving holiday, so I high-tailed it back home so I could take the bags of leaves I raked that weekend and haul them off to the county compost site. Thank Buddha he let me go early so I could do that. Cost to dump: $5.
- And then I celebrated having the day off the next day by going to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version). Tips, coffee and a lapper from the hot Giselle: $29.75.
- Tuesday the 24th -- love The Martian. Love it. And you know what I most love about it? Its positivity. There were low points -- you have to in a movie -- but there was a lot of determination and hard work and derring-do. I felt good leaving the movie. Dare I say it -- this may be the most patriotic film I've seen ever. And I don't mind it at all. It may be my most favorite movie from last year. Ticket, popcorn and pop: $10.44.
- On Sunday, November 22 I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) after, I think, the Vikings game. Tips and coffee: $11.75.
- Friday the 20th ... breakfast at work: $2.36.
- That evening I went to Hooters for dinner. With tip: $20.
- That revved me up, so to speak, for this stripper party at this place I've never been to. Got a dance from ********a, but the real treat was this was the night where, for the first time, I got yanked by *e***** after months and months of teasing. We now have a great rapport. She may have replaced ***e* as my All-Time Favorite, in fact. With cover and the total comes out to: $135.
- To Thursday, November 19, where I had cereal at work ... cereal?: $1.60.
- Then I had pizza at work: $3.10.
- Wednesday the 18th ... salad at work: $2.27.
- Then I was invited by a different department on a different floor to participate in this Chili Cook-Off. I had already eaten, but hey, I can't pass up chili! Weird eating by myself in a conference room where other people were eating and talking, but hey, I was invited. I also voted on which chili was best, and to this day I don't know which pot won. I kind of want to know. A donation of: $5.
- That evening I went to see a co-worker of mine in a play. Very interesting to see a different side to people you think you know. The play was alright, but he was quite good. Ticket cost: $10.
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