- Checkered-dark-blue-and-dark-green pajama bottoms from Croft & Barrow, which my parents probably bought for me. The elastic waistband is worn off; when I stretch it, it does that crunchy sound. So it's now too large, even for me.
- Light tan/beige, Easy Fit Plain-front shorts from the Gap, Waist size 28. It has a really short hem line. Just got too small for me; couldn't button it no matter how hard I sucked my gut in.
- Dark green/olive Old Navy shorts. Button was re-sewn, probably by my aunt. Some red marks indicate that I used these as "work shorts" once, but it also got too small for me.
- The blue long underwear from Joe Boxer I bought from the K-Mart close to us that's now closed. Always noticed that it was so checker-textured that it chapped my ass when I sat down. Got so torn in the asshole area that I had to retire it.
- Beige 34 x 32 khakis from Structure. It has a tie-up string band as well as a button. Father gave this to me, and recently, so it's very new. I wore it once, to work, but it's too long, and it's too big so that when I roll up the hems it still falls and drags along the ground. Had to drag those pants around while working, for crissake. Sorry, Dad.
- 3 ... the three boxer briefs I think I bought from H&M in Zurich, the ones with varying shades of, uh, brownness. All of them are now torn up in the, uh, from-under place. All three of them damaged in the same area? That seems too coincidental.
- 7 ... seven socks. Only two of them are a pair. That pair is black. So are three of the singles; the other two are white. All of those single five have different stitchings and patterns, which makes me believe they cannot be paired up with each other. All of the socks except one, a white one, have holes in the heel, holes so big I cannot wear them anymore. The white sock that does not have a hole also has elasticity that isn't elastic anymore. I stretch it, it makes that crunch sound like the C&B pajama pants noted above, and it stays, well, big. So I probably wouldn't be able to wear it because it would fall to my ankle. Besides, I don't know where its pair is.
Finally, there is this drawstring bag, blue with red letters saying "FDNY," a red-white (maybe gray due to the dirt)-red triple-stripe below the initials, and a label that jokingly states, "Stay 200 (?) Feet Back," which was thrown onto our front yard several years ago. I picked it up in the afternoon thinking that the kids across the street ran onto our yard; some kid probably got bullied and threw the bag and left it on our property. No one rang our doorbell and asked for it back, so now's the time I divested myself of it. There were sheets of paper in there, which I took out. But along with the bag I will donate what's in it, which are:
- 5 ... five shoes, two pairs and a single. All are small, all seem to be women's shoes. One pair are flip-flops, brown-ish, with high-ish heels, from Limited Too. Another pair are black, from Footprints by Birkenstock; inside the left shoe it says 37/240. Finally, the single is a right shoe. It is white, it says "Dr. Scholl's Gel Pac" inside, and it says its size is a 7W. All of them seem to be in good, wearable condition. So why did no one come to take these back?
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