Friday, September 2, 2016

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  The survey is getting crowded.  But the U. footballers continue to reign on top after ripping both the North Dakota Fighting Hawks and the Eastern Michigan Eagles last weekend by matching 3-0 results.  They are now firmly entrenched in the polls, with the NSCAA ranking the Gophers at #9.  Lofty.  And they are one of maybe a handful of sides that have won all of their games so far.  That's why I put them at #0 for the week.  No conference Players Of The Week, though.  Hmmm.

They are now away from Robbie Stadium for the rest of the non-con schedule.  And it's going to be a competitive weekend -- they visit Villanova this (Friday) afternoon before playing at Duke Sunday afternoon.

#-1: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  I was out taking my sister and brother-in-law to seeing my cousin and his girlfriend, so I don't exactly know what the Twitter hubbub surrounding the end of this squad's first game of the year is about.  Seeing the box score, it looks as though that they were trailing the Oregon St. Beavers, 23-17, scored a Touchdown to take a one-point lead, scored another TD ... and then went for two, even though they were leading 30-23 at the time.  The pass by Quarterback Mitch Leidner (the second-best Senior QB in top-flight college football, according to one person on ESPN.com) failed, and so I guess people were wondering why in the hell Head Coach Tracy Claeys didn't just kick the Extra Point and take an eight-point lead.  I agree, and if I were watching the game I would be pulling my hair out.  But this is the Gophs were talking about.  They beat a fellow BcS school, and they managed to not give up the tying score, and in fact came back to win by shutting out the opponent in the fourth quarter.  I choose to look on the bright side with this program, at least for this game.

With the U. doing their part in scheduling a big opponent (or big enough, at least) for what is being billed as The Biggest Opening Weekend In College Football, they now are treating themselves to dessert, namely second-division Indiana St. on the 10th.  I may not write up the result of this game unless they lose.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  I will say this for the volleyballing club: Unlike last year, they are scheduling against some of the best in the sport this year.  Unfortunately, they followed up a four-set win over San Diego with a four-set defeat to Stanford Invite tournament host Stanford.  This is a Senior-laden group which nonetheless loses Daly Santana (graduated out) after a Final Four loss to Texas last year where they were close but just couldn't close out the sets to win.  I am fully convinced the program is back, but they have the horses that can win now -- it's just a matter of being able to fight off defending NCAA champion Nebraska, perennial powerhouse Penn St. (which nevertheless suffered a rare non-conference loss to North Carolina), and the rest of the Big Ten, which has emerged as The Toughest Volleyball Conference In College Volleyball.

For Labor Weekend they participate in the Puerto Rico Tournament in San Juan, where they face two damn good programs tonight and tomorrow night: Texas A&M and Florida St.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -Infinity).  My Fucking God.  If these Twinks didn't win at home to the Chicago White Sox last (Thursday) night, I would have put these guys next to the ViQueens in #-Infinity.  A loss would have set the franchise record for most consecutive defeats ever.  But they've already tied it, and they still got swept against the Royals, Tigers and, this screening week, the Blue Jays and Cleveland.

You can boil down the problems this club has to two things: pitching and hitting.  The arms are a fucking shambles, and the fact that now-doubted prospect Byron Buxton has been called up for what seems to be the 14th time shows that the lineup has been a horrible disappointment for much of the year.

Last (Thursday) night may have been The Busiest Sports Night In Minnesota History.  The Gopher football team and the Saints were playing actual games at home, and the Vikes were playing a fake game at home.  Plus, you had the State Fair and U. students still moving in, and you had a shitshow on the roads.  Frankly, I wonder how 20,000 people decided to brave all that traffic and go to the Twinks game.  But that was the announced number of tickets sold; the actual attendance might have been much, much smaller.  Oh, well: The people who did watch the baseball game actually saw this team's first victory in two weeks.

The Twinks are in the midst of the final big homestand of the year.  After finishing up a four-game set against the White Sox, Kansas City comes in for three.  They need to take advantage of every advantage they can get as they fight Atlanta to avoid The Worst Record In Baseball.

#-Infinity: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  Well, fuck.  Honestly, I wasn't all that high on the squad's prospects this year unlike others: With a tougher schedule and my lingering doubts on Teddy Bridgewater's arm, I figured they would lose out on a spot and go 9-7.  But now with Bridgewater gone, and Shaun Hill expected to be the replacement for The Most Important Position In Football, it's 5-11 for this team, at best.  Any hopes of these guys winning the Super Bowl are now gone, and if they're not going to make any headway in the playoffs, they might as well tank the season and get a high draft pick next year.

What's really was that Bridgewater tore his ACL without contact.  Those are the worst.  If someone can suffer an injury, and especially a horrific injury like Bridgewater, without someone hitting him hard, that means his bones are pretty fragile to begin with.  Not only that, but studies have proven that if you have suffered significant injuries in the past, you are now much more likely to suffer an equally significant injury in the future.  So now the organization has to begin to doubt whether Bridgewater can be the long-term man at QB.  What was once a bright future for Bridgewater and this team has clouded up, all in a matter of days.  And the fucking season hasn't even started.

My God, the Minnesota Vikings might be a cursed team.

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